Update Season VIII - "Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!"

[Bacon King]

Well, the doctor gave me a shot for my migraines, but thankfully, I was still able to drive home.  I'm about to take a nap as the shot is making me fade.  I do need to be up to meet the bride and groom at the church to show them the facilities at 1500.

My headache just laughed at the shot.  It's still blaring away.  Mom gets these shots quite  often and thinks it may take some time for it to start working.  I'm going to try to go the rest of the day without taking anything.

Anyway, I will be meeting the bride and groom at the church at 1600 to show them the facilities and get their final decision on whether to use the church or not for their wedding.  If they decide to use the church, I will be getting the Minister's Handbook out of the Pastor's Office and brushing up on what to say during the ceremony which will be Saturday evening.  This will be my very first wedding to perform and I was very honest and told the bride that up front.  It doesn't seem to have made her change her mind, but I'll find out for sure about an hour from now.

It took about 6 hours for the shot to take effect, so its still working, but it has knocked my headache out of the migraine category to the moderately severe category.  On a 10 point scale, it was hovering between an 8.5 and 9.0 out of 10, now it's hovering between 6.0-6.5.

Holy it what the ck Bushie, are you cking serious? I've suffered from some pretty intense migraines in my day, and I have friends who have them even worse than I do. Migraines are so painful that they completely floor you... a headache doesn't warrant being placed on a numerical scale, let alone be a cking "nine out of ten," if you can still drive down to the reservation and back, stare at the computer screen for so long unphased, or even manage to coherently think about what you're supposed to be doing tomorrow. The fact that you're being so hyperbolic here suggests to me that you've been so cking babied for so long that you literally have no concept of how tough the real world actually can be, if some minor daily nuisance that doesn't actually keep you from doing anything is a "nine out of ten." Like, honestly, just cking grow a pair and cut it out with all this prissy pouty it.

[Bacon King]

random gif thread?

random gif thread!

[Bacon King]

speaking of gifs though the one in my signature is the first gif i've made by myself and i am quite proud of it

[Bacon King]

Wow, several posts with Inks in the hot seat.  I can't say that I'm too disappointed by it!  Haha, Inks, you're a good friend.  Much of what you say flies in one ear and out the other, but even though I defend myself, I know deep down you only want the best for me.  Same goes with the rest of you.  Sometimes, it is very hard to take, but you are a good friend, Inks.  I feel blessed every day I come onto the forum.  Again, the criticism is hard to take, and sometimes I try to rebut, but I know you all only want the best for me.  That's why I play along on occasion and come back with some admittedly weak humorous zingers.

[Bacon King]

Anyway, the wedding is over and the bride and groom are off on their weekend honeymoon.  They're just staying at a hotel in Oklahoma City, I think for the weekend and taking a trip later.

As for my first time, I did not stutter at all, my voice was clear and confident and loud enough to project without a mic (we don't have lapel mics in our church), although my hands were shaking due to the nervousness.  The entire ceremony only lasted 20 minutes and the reception was over by 2030.  Everyone has told me I did a great job, but what was most important, the bride was happy.  That's all that matters!  The second thing that matters is the groom was happy.  The third thing that matters is the bride's father was happy!

[Bacon King]

I also found out the groom's side of the family are Seminole-Creek Indian.  Which, according to the groom's father, is a close relative of the Potawatomi, which is my tribe.

This makes sense as if you look at a county map, Pottawatomie County is the county right next door to Seminole County on the west.  Pott county as it's also called, is right next to Oklahoma County on the SE side of OK County.

Bushie the Seminole are from Florida

[Bacon King]

Bushie did you see the new promotional material for Season 8

[Bacon King]

As Walter mentioned, something is breaking... Literally...  On the way out the driveway this morning just a couple miles from the house, A rock decided to fall from what looked like an old abandoned building.  It's a little windy today, so the wind probably moved some of the branches of the tree to sweep the rock off the building and right onto the upper half of my windshield.  There is a great big crack in the glass that looks like a big spider from where the rock made impact.  I called my grandmother to get the name of the business she used to get her back windshield replaced after the recent hail storms.  I called them and they will replace the front windshield tomorrow at 11:00 am for $180.  Not bad at all, I think!

Hey guys and gals can we go back to this post for a minute?

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Like, how is somewhere that's "just a couple miles away from my house"still only "on the way out the driveway" Bushie how long exactly is your driveway jesus

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How did a rock get up there, I mean rocks can't climb or fly or even move on their own

Also how do you know where the rock apparently came from, unless it was like really huge you wouldn't be able to see it until it hit your car

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Is it just me or is this like the worst explanation for anything ever?

How did a rock get on top of a building? Do Oklahoma buildings have roofs flat enough for rocks to just chill on top of them anyway? How does "a little bit of wind" cause tree branches to fling a rock like it's a golf club? Since when does Oklahoma have buildings tall enough (and road frontage small enough) to even make something like this possible according to physics?

Bushie how did this really happen

was some kid throwing rocks at you or was it just because you sat on your window

[Bacon King]

Okay here's my theory: there's a hobo that lives in the abandoned building a couple of miles down Bushie's driveway

he spends most of his free time having brief relaxations in sheds and throwing rocks at passersby

[Bacon King]

Driveway is only about 100 feet, I was exaggerating on the "couple miles".

wait but there is an abandoned building along that 100 feet driveway? And you don't know if it's abandoned?

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wait so rock impacts on windshields look like spiders

is that a known fact where you come from because my life experience does not allow me to make any judgements or guesses about glass/object impact physics

(just wondering)

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That's cool about the flat roofs I figured there would be too much snow for them even in Oklahoma. But maybe the flat roofs prevent a house from getting picked up by tornadoes which makes sense especially if you assume the laws of physics don't apply normally in Oklahoma which I am beginning to suspect

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Wait but you said like four sentences earlier that you didn't know what hit your car man, don't be changing your stories on me like this, it makes me confused

Also isn't it dangerous to be ducking from the windshield while you are driving? How fast were you going? Also how can you duck if you are wearing a seatbelt, because required safety features in the US include that thing where if you lean forward too quickly in a car the seatbelt will lock up which can be annoying but also is a good thing if you are ever in a crash.

Bushie you were wearing your seatbelt right?

Also btw I'm glad you didn't get glass in your face

[Bacon King]

Wait, how did it fall off a building? Were you driving under it? Or did it just blow it off and the rock floated in mid air to your car? I'm liking the rock throwing theory. Maybe Bushie was playing at a playground with some kids and the teens started making fun of him and throwing rocks. Fearing for his life, Bushie ran to his car and got in but one of the punks threw a rock and hit his windshield.

Sounds plausible to me.

I like this theory, good work Detective Duke

Also when you said "driving under it" it made me think. What if the rock fell off the awning above the McDonalds drive-thru window and he fabricated the rest of the story to hide his dietary lie of the day from the forum?

[Bacon King]

Bad sleep schedules can do that!?!?

Oh man

[Bacon King]

Folks, I have just been in deep prayer and convicted by my God of not living up to my fatherly duties as the spiritual head of the household though we are 8,500 miles apart.  I have also been convicted of not being focused on God's Kingdom, rather trying to build Jeff's kingdom.  I need to spend more time with my God praying daily for my children.  I am also going to start tapering my use of the forum.  I'm going to try eventually break away from the forum entirely.  The Update will be the first to slow down. Then the rest of the forum will taper.

[Bacon King]

So what, he just needs a sex change operation and a pair of fake boobs. There are plenty of big gals out there, no one will know the difference.

This would be the greatest twist to the Bushie saga yet.




edit: Mr. Morden, I love you and want to have your babies

[Bacon King]

For you, Lief!











(I will delete these if bushie so desires)

[Bacon King]

Thanks for blanking out the last names, BK.  Too many of you impecunious and humpbacked losers already know mine for my liking. 

Simply a standard courtesy! Though I found it amusing how it was more appropriate to censor Inks' first name instead.

[Bacon King]

Bushie in celebration of the Supreme Court lets go to California and get married so you can adopt sooner

[Bacon King]

*your parents' $35 monthly gift

Also that only buys them one lunch?

[Bacon King]

I guess I was ignored. I KNOW MORE ABOUT MAISHA THAN ANYBODY ELSE ON THIS FORUM BAR NONE!!!!!!!!

What about my proposal

Why do our children only get one lunch a month!?

[Bacon King]

Serious question: given your experience as a pastor have you considered opening your own mission, possibly modeled after Maisha?

[Bacon King]

if you had the ability to unlock it, then it was you who locked it.

also a friendly note, there appears to be an error in your schedule because it seems to suggest you will be saying hello to your aunt for the next three hours, you might want to double check that

[Bacon King]

wait hold on you can't accidentally lock something bushie



I just tested on my iPhone and it asks you a confirmation when you click the delete button so your claim that it was an accident is lies

[Bacon King]

I just tested on my iPhone and it asks you a confirmation when you click the delete button so your claim that it was an accident is lies

Is it the same when you try to lock a thread?

yes thanks morden that's what i meant

sorry, i am drunk

[Bacon King]

So is there any reason why you didn't exercise today or have you just already given up on losing weight?


ps Inks, I have appropriated a quote you made, to put in my signature, hope thats k

[Bacon King]

The collar system is $270.