Would you allow your 16-year-old to have sex?

[Blue3]

You're the one who brought up the word "natural."

I'm saying it's ridiculous to ever try to argue a point based on what's "natural" or not.

[Crumpets]

For thousands if not millions of years, most humans became parents in their teenage years.

Now, that doesn't make it right necessarily. But let's not go down the "it's not natural" path.

Is it "natural" for kids to grow up with no rules and become feral kids?

Or is it natural for a parent to attempt to equip a child to make decisions that lead to safety, security, and an existence that makes sense?

Fuzzy, wouldn't the fact that at least two of your children apparently did not live up to this standard imply that it is something that doesn't just happen to kids who "grow up with no rules and become feral"? If you've lived through this twice, you should know how nigh-near impossible it is to prevent it from happening. You said you "weren't proud," but the question was about "allowing" it. Our point is that parents cannot control something like this, and trying to would probably lead to a more unhealthy relationship than just making sure they know about safe sex and letting them live their life.

[Fuzzy Bear Loves Christian Missionaries]

For thousands if not millions of years, most humans became parents in their teenage years.

Now, that doesn't make it right necessarily. But let's not go down the "it's not natural" path.

Is it "natural" for kids to grow up with no rules and become feral kids?

Or is it natural for a parent to attempt to equip a child to make decisions that lead to safety, security, and an existence that makes sense?

Fuzzy, wouldn't the fact that at least two of your children apparently did not live up to this standard imply that it is something that doesn't just happen to kids who "grow up with no rules and become feral"? If you've lived through this twice, you should know how nigh-near impossible it is to prevent it from happening. You said you "weren't proud," but the question was about "allowing" it. Our point is that parents cannot control something like this, and trying to would probably lead to a more unhealthy relationship than just making sure they know about safe sex and letting them live their life.

The only "safe sex" is abstinence.  Everything else is only "safer sex".

[Co-Chair Bagel23]

Everything a minor child does is a parent’s business, and most of the opinions in this thread are ridiculous. There is a point where stuff just gets too liberal.

[Gustaf]

Bizarre that almost 40% say no.

Conservatives' weird fantasy that the only alternative to selling sex on the street for crack is to live in a Handmaid's Tale dystopia of sexual repression is one of the stranger things in American culture. I'd expect my kids to do the normal thing back when I was a kid - get a girlfriend/boyfriend in their midteens and have sex with them. And I'd expect that based on having raised them to be sensible and also on the fact they would have gone through comprehensive sex ed in school they'd be reasonably well equipped to deal with the situation.

[dead0man]

Everything a minor child does is a parent’s business

no, no it's not....and that's a good thing for both the child and the parent.  Did you not keep things from your parents when you were a kid?


It's weird to me, that everyone is a child, yet so many totally forget what it's like to be one when they turn into an adult.  Some kids/parents want to be in each other's business, but, at least in my experience, most kids/parents are not like that.  Maybe I'm biased.  Maybe it's just that that was the type of family I grew up in.  And maybe those are the kinds of kids and parents that I was and am attracted to.  Maybe some wider cultural reasons for it too.

To clarify, here's two situations I had in mind:

1. Your 16-year-old comes home with a box of condoms and their significant other. They want to have a sleepover.

2. You open the door to your 16-year-old's room and see them in the act (having had no idea beforehand).

I agree with politicallefty and Crumpets

1. Awesome, I'm happy they're using safer sex methods. It's none of my business thereafter and I hope they have a good night.

2. I can't imagine having no idea before. Um, immediately close the door and walk away. Either pretend that nothing happened or have a very casual conversation if it came up (particularly about safer sex). Maybe buy some condoms for said teen or discuss birth control. I feel there are a lot of ways to approach this without making everyone feel too uncomfortable.

16 yo are basically adults.  Sure, they're idiots and bounce between extreme over and under confidence (by the way, that never ends, you just get better at recognizing it), but they should be in charge of their own day-to-day safety, their own upkeep of their stuff and their body, their own finances.  They shouldn't have any problem approaching you for help in any of these and the parent should give advice or assist when needed.  But those last few teenage years at home should be practice for being an independent adult.  They should be washing their own clothes, preparing their own meals, buying their own entertainment.

[Gustaf]

Everything a minor child does is a parent’s business

no, no it's not....and that's a good thing for both the child and the parent.  Did you not keep things from your parents when you were a kid?


It's weird to me, that everyone is a child, yet so many totally forget what it's like to be one when they turn into an adult.  Some kids/parents want to be in each other's business, but, at least in my experience, most kids/parents are not like that.  Maybe I'm biased.  Maybe it's just that that was the type of family I grew up in.  And maybe those are the kinds of kids and parents that I was and am attracted to.  Maybe some wider cultural reasons for it too.

To clarify, here's two situations I had in mind:

1. Your 16-year-old comes home with a box of condoms and their significant other. They want to have a sleepover.

2. You open the door to your 16-year-old's room and see them in the act (having had no idea beforehand).

I agree with politicallefty and Crumpets

1. Awesome, I'm happy they're using safer sex methods. It's none of my business thereafter and I hope they have a good night.

2. I can't imagine having no idea before. Um, immediately close the door and walk away. Either pretend that nothing happened or have a very casual conversation if it came up (particularly about safer sex). Maybe buy some condoms for said teen or discuss birth control. I feel there are a lot of ways to approach this without making everyone feel too uncomfortable.

16 yo are basically adults.  Sure, they're idiots and bounce between extreme over and under confidence (by the way, that never ends, you just get better at recognizing it), but they should be in charge of their own day-to-day safety, their own upkeep of their stuff and their body, their own finances.  They shouldn't have any problem approaching you for help in any of these and the parent should give advice or assist when needed.  But those last few teenage years at home should be practice for being an independent adult.  They should be washing their own clothes, preparing their own meals, buying their own entertainment.

Agreed, especially with that last paragraph. That's basically how I was raised and I'll say based on my anecdotal experiences that it makes a huge difference to a person's maturity whether they get used to at an early age to be responsible and independent.

[Co-Chair Bagel23]

Everything a minor child does is a parent’s business

no, no it's not....and that's a good thing for both the child and the parent.  Did you not keep things from your parents when you were a kid?


It's weird to me, that everyone is a child, yet so many totally forget what it's like to be one when they turn into an adult.  Some kids/parents want to be in each other's business, but, at least in my experience, most kids/parents are not like that.  Maybe I'm biased.  Maybe it's just that that was the type of family I grew up in.  And maybe those are the kinds of kids and parents that I was and am attracted to.  Maybe some wider cultural reasons for it too.

Uh yeah, it basically is, at least that is how I was raised, and thanks for the dog whistle at the end, much appreciated. Tbh, my parents know most everything about me, and what little I have not told them I bet they already know by now anyways, they aren't stupid. No I am not perfect, and I have not followed my ideal 100%, but I am an imperfect human and am trying to be better at it. But I hardly ever lie when they want to know the truth. But I hold the right conviction and I am trying to work to get there even though it is not very easy, it is the right thing.

[John Dule]

I find it interesting that the liberals of this site are saying they wouldn't mind, while the conservatives are saying they would, given that Roy Moore was accused of having sex with 16-year-olds (granted, that's the age of consent in Alabama) and conservatives defended him.

Not trying to cast aspersions on anyone's beliefs here, or call anyone a hypocrite, but it's somewhat indicative of how willingly people abandon their beliefs just to defend/attack a politician.

[Co-Chair Bagel23]

I find it interesting that the liberals of this site are saying they wouldn't mind, while the conservatives are saying they would, given that Roy Moore was accused of having sex with 16-year-olds (granted, that's the age of consent in Alabama) and conservatives defended him.

Not trying to cast aspersions on anyone's beliefs here, or call anyone a hypocrite, but it's somewhat indicative of how willingly people abandon their beliefs just to defend/attack a politician.

What about me then?

[Boobs]

I find it interesting that the liberals of this site are saying they wouldn't mind, while the conservatives are saying they would, given that Roy Moore was accused of having sex with 16-year-olds (granted, that's the age of consent in Alabama) and conservatives defended him.

Not trying to cast aspersions on anyone's beliefs here, or call anyone a hypocrite, but it's somewhat indicative of how willingly people abandon their beliefs just to defend/attack a politician.

is it really that hard to grasp the idea that a 16-year old having sex with another 16-year old is fine, but a 16-year old with a 30-year old isn't?

this is so stereotypical of a libertarian I would've thought it was a parody

[OSR stands with Israel]

Bizarre that almost 40% say no.

Yes it’s bizarre 40% say no that number should be 100%.


Lastly if believing this makes me Puritan than I am proud to be one

[darklordoftech]

if believing this makes me Puritan than I am proud to be one

Nobody has called you a "Puritan" as of yet.

[OSR stands with Israel]

if believing this makes me Puritan than I am proud to be one

Nobody has called you a "Puritan" as of yet.

Comstock did

[Amenhotep Bakari-Sellers]

Most Teenagers have had sex when they turned 16 already, but alot of females, regardless of using protection haven't become pregnant.

[John Dule]

I find it interesting that the liberals of this site are saying they wouldn't mind, while the conservatives are saying they would, given that Roy Moore was accused of having sex with 16-year-olds (granted, that's the age of consent in Alabama) and conservatives defended him.

Not trying to cast aspersions on anyone's beliefs here, or call anyone a hypocrite, but it's somewhat indicative of how willingly people abandon their beliefs just to defend/attack a politician.

is it really that hard to grasp the idea that a 16-year old having sex with another 16-year old is fine, but a 16-year old with a 30-year old isn't?

this is so stereotypical of a libertarian I would've thought it was a parody

I said exactly this earlier in the thread; however, I didn't see a lot of people including that caveat.

[Goldwater]

I find it interesting that the liberals of this site are saying they wouldn't mind, while the conservatives are saying they would, given that Roy Moore was accused of having sex with 16-year-olds (granted, that's the age of consent in Alabama) and conservatives defended him.

Not trying to cast aspersions on anyone's beliefs here, or call anyone a hypocrite, but it's somewhat indicative of how willingly people abandon their beliefs just to defend/attack a politician.

is it really that hard to grasp the idea that a 16-year old having sex with another 16-year old is fine, but a 16-year old with a 30-year old isn't?

this is so stereotypical of a libertarian I would've thought it was a parody

I said exactly this earlier in the thread; however, I didn't see a lot of people including that caveat.

I think most people assume that "with someone around the same age" is an implied part of the question.

[Amenhotep Bakari-Sellers]

Like I stated previously, 16 females are having unprotected sex, at alarming rates, but not getting pregnant,  behind dads' back

[The Dowager Mod]

I doubt my kids would ask my permission to begin with.

[🦀🎂🦀🎂]

Honestly cracking up at this thread being cited in an argument "but mum, as you see 62% of users on uselectionatlas.org agree that your ban on me having sex is completely illogical!"

[RFayette 🇻🇦]

Honestly cracking up at this thread being cited in an argument "but mum, as you see 62% of users on uselectionatlas.org agree that your ban on me having sex is completely illogical!"

"I would have let you had sex if you had only given me the breakdown by partisan subgroup."

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Most Teenagers have had sex when they turned 16 already,

I'm pretty sure this claim isn't backed up by most surveys.

[Free Bird]

I know they probably would eventually. I just wouldn't want to know objectively that it happens until they move out/are married. Blissful ignorance, yes, but I wouldn't want that image in my mind even for a second.

[DC Al Fine]

This question is dumb to begin with.

Like, what 16 year old is going to come to their mom or dad and be like; "Yo, do you mind if I f**ck this (guy/girl)"?

I think it should require a written consent from the parent, properly verified by the county clerk.

It should be illegal for a parent to “not allow” their 16 year old to have sex. Fine the parent $1000 if they object or attempt to enforce this on them.

We need to go to extreme measures to reject the nanny state and the culture that perpetuates it, not the opposite direction.

You are literally proposing a nanny state. It's just that you want to nanny the parents instead of the children.

We will force you to be free.

Most Teenagers have had sex when they turned 16 already,

I'm pretty sure this claim isn't backed up by most surveys.

Yup, median in the US is 17-18 depending on the survey.

[ChelseaT]

I'd teach them about safe sex, and to make sure the person is worth it.