Excerpt from Chapo Trap House episode 101: "Labor Pains"
WILL MENAKER: Okay, so moving on now to the Labor leadership race...interim leader Adam Schiff has stepped away from the role of 'interim leader' and will run to be permanent leader of the Labor Party...and I just think, between him, Schumer, fuc
king Jon Tester...this is the opposition? This is who's standing up against fascism in America?
MATT CHRISTMAN: Yeah, this is the opposition. Adam Schiff, who can't get hard without going in front of a camera and screaming PUTIN at the top of his lungs, Jon Tester, who needs to consult with 42 energy lobbyists before deciding how to stand on an issue and Chuck Schumer who thinks the worst thing about the Trump speakership is that "the real problems is that Donald Trump and I aren't friends anymore." We are fu
cked.
WM: Yeah, just like three of the most just evil, fraudulent cretins in the Labor Party are standing here. But don't forget the ladies! Apparently Kamala Harris is thinking about running--
AMBER FROST: Yeah, brilliant. When so much energy on the left, including in the Labor Party, is in the movement to reform the justice system and hold police more accountable for their actions, let's put a prosecutor in charge. This will work out well.
WM: ...Claire McCaskill is thinking about it--
FELIX BIEDERMAN: Yeah if there's one thing that 2016 proved, it's that how much this country loves rich centrist blonde ladies. Wasn't McCaskill like one of Hillary's top surrogates? If Labor picks her they're basically just saying "hahaha we've learned nothing let's give TRUMP a majority without the Tories and Dems!"
WM: Liz Warren might do it...
MC: Liz Warren is the only not despicable person here, which means she's totally screwed.
AF: And we say "not despicable" because she has somewhat reasonable positions on things like ICE and Wall Street and healthcare, but when it comes to foreign policy she's basically Hillary. There's no discernible difference between them on foreign policy.
WM: I'm not sure that's quite fair to Warren, I mean I agree that she's not going to make life any better for like Syrians and Palestinians, but I doubt she'll like lead in an invasion of Syria and she's spoken against drone warfare in the past.
MC: And we have to think about Labor's Overton Window, which is so far right on foreign policy...Barbara Boxer couldn't get 60 other Labor MCs to join her in voting against the Iraq War. I mean the Labor Party's owners are willing to tolerate someone who makes the right noises on healthcare and immigration but they absolutely will
not accept anyone who cuts into Northrupp Grumman's profit margins.
FB: So, yeah, Liz Warren is probably the best choice out of this sh
itfest, but it's like being the least racist member of the TRUMP party at this point, like it's not a big accomplishment when your competition is this bad.
AF: So here's how the race is going to go. Liz Warren is going to get a commanding lead on the first ballot, but absolutely none of the other candidates' supporters will back her second, or third, or fourth. So slowly they will unite around Russia Boy or someone, and they'll beat her on the final ballot.
WM: Yeah, you're probably right Amber. And then, because it's Liz Warren and she wilts when going against party bosses, she's going to give a rousing speech supporting fu
cking Jon Tester or whoever. This is the person that a lot of naive people who were backing Bernie in the 2015-16 leadership election were just waiting with bated breath for Liz Warren to come out and support Bernie and propel him to the White House, and she never did it. She stayed on the fence, and Bernie lost, and that was that.
MC: And this is the favorite of the rump left of the Labor Party.
FB: And that's another thing! She could've joined Bernie's party, like Pramila Jayapal and Raul Grijalva, and instead she took potshots at it for the entire campaign season!
AF: This just shows what dire straits the American left is in, and particularly those on the left who inexplicably remain in the Labor Party. It's not for leftists. It's for corporate candidates, it's for pro-war candidates, it's for the softest, most feckless pro-union and pro-diversity candidates. It's a liberal party, and has been since at least Bill Clinton.