Blake Shelton / Miranda Lambert - 315EV - 52%
Platform: Permanent WPA program for full employment, Medicare for All, Federally-Capitalized State Chartered Public Banks, Criminal Prosecutions of Bankster Thugs, Bailout for homeowners with underwater mortgages, repeal of NCLB/Race to the Top
Adam LeVine / Some lax bro - 223EV - 47%
Platform: Mandatory same-sex marriage, mandatory communal showering for bros, dumpster permits for elderly to scavenge when they have no social security nor prospects of gainful employment, no-bid contracts for expanded "humanitarian" drone campaigns in conjunction with Israeli mercenaries, mandatory purchase of bubblegum pop ring tones
