The Kalwejt Foundation for the Promotion of Atlas Hilarity

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Nothing on NASA spending? This can't be a real Kingpoleon proposal.

[America Needs R'hllor]

Liberty. Solidarity's too socially to the right.

Liberty's socially anti-abortion and believes you're a guy.

Believes I'm a guy?

LMAO I THOUGHT YOU WERE PEEBS. WHOOPS.

[morgieb]

Best debut post of all-time?

Sounds like he took the Show Me State a bit too literally

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Ironically she wrote a book called "Useful Idiots" in 2003.

That was actually her autobiography

[America Needs R'hllor]

iN aLl sErIoUsNeSs i CoNCuR. DEmotedcraps yooz idetitty potlucks liek MehTwo n BANNING skewl shuteengz witch meenz Dey LOOSE both rurals and Waycist subrerberan wytes n orenge counter.

[OneJ]

FU   

Does this mean freedom update?

No, it's the new swear filter in action.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

I read about this in the art of the deal. There's a really intricate pattern here that Trump will use to close the deal. Hes already set-up the prospect perfectly. A chess master setting up the board if you will. His next move will most likely be to....er, to blame someone else, lie, declare bankruptcy, then skip town in the middle of the night never to be seen again.

[Atlas Force]

NYTimes and Fox News to see how they spin it

"The Democrats won tonight thanks to George Soros's people and illegal voters. Plus, Hillary Clinton had her hands in voting operations."

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

What about a Confederate BRTD, buying slaves in order to form his own emoviolence band?

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Because we now do this.

Fascist - Not actually fascist anymore.  Really a big-tent centrist party with a strange interest in uniforms.

Anti-Masonic - Originally an offshoot on the Fascists devoted wholly to destroying the Freemasons.  Now they're a moderate party that has been taken over by the Masons and serves as their political wing.  Moderately social democratic with a strong emphasis on improved medical care for the elderly.

Indigenous Action - Started as an attempt by the native people of the country to band together for more rights.  Was taken over by big business attempting to exploit reservations.  These days, it is a generic right-libertarian party with an anarcho-capitalist streak.

Socialist - Democratic socialist, with big-governemnet views universal, but strong differences between more conservative religious elements and more liberal social factions.  However, it's incredibly corrupt.  Imagine New Orleans mixed with Chicago on a national level.

Sharia - Islamic law, adovcate for the expulsion of all non-Muslims (95% of the population)

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

BRTD option:

"Skopje & Suburbs"

(sounds even like a band)

[Coolface Sock #42069]

Why her and not BRTD?

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

I'm gonna lol when we all find out Virginia is actually Hamilton after both Atlas and AAD get completely wiped

[America Needs R'hllor]

Not surprised to see submission on top.

[RINO Tom]

http://fox17online.com/2018/03/05/the-worlds-last-male-northern-white-rhino-is-on-death-watch/

You must be logged in to read this quote.

Hang in there, Tom.

[Anzeigenhauptmeister]

Context:

The two things the Atlas left hates the most - cops and God.

[Landslide Lyndon]

A LimoLiberal phone-banking story

Voter: Hello?
LimoLiberal: Good evening ma'm, do you have a moment to talk about the ongoing Congressional special election and why Lamb is the best candidate for your district?
Voter: Well, sure, for a minute anyway.
LimoLiberal: Lamb has only been leading in one poll, so I doubt he can win.
Voter: Wait, what?
LimoLiberal: Especially after the Texas primary completely blew up the wave narrative, Saccone is unfortunately going to win.
Voter: Aren't you supposed to be convincing me to vote for Lamb?
LimoLiberal: I am. Just because I don't believe Democrats are getting a wave in 2018 doesn't mean I'm not trying to convince you to vote for Lamb.
Voter: Ok, I have to go. Take care, or something...
LimoLiberal: Alright, just FYI though, tomorrow morning, Gravis is going to release a poll showing a total collapse for Lamb, but it's important you go to vote for him.

hangs up

[America Needs R'hllor]

What if the 2012 board tries to kill the 2004 board? Is that going to trigger a grandfather paradox?

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

You know, sex is a lot like your signature. I don't understand it, somebody's naked, George Costanza is there.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

As someone with some Irish blood going through my veins, I find this as a disgusting proposal that is blatantly disrespectful to Irish culture.

it's not a real holiday, you can't abolish something that's not real.  And even if BRTD and his fellow authoritarians passed some (clearly unconstitutional) law banning green beer in March or whatever, it wouldn't stop you from celebrating your Irishness.

It's like the "Put God Back In School" people....when the hell did God leave school?  Do you not listen to the crap you teach your children?  God is everywhere bro!  You need to pray?  So, pray!  Nobody needs to see you doing it, didn't Jesus even say as much?  Pray to yourself you big babies!

It came without lager!
It came without stout!
It came without cabbage, or corned beef, or trout!

Then the Orangeman puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore.
And the Orangeman thought something he hadn't before-
What if Paddy's, he thought, doesn't come from a store?
What if Paddy's, perhaps, means a little bit more?

All good Christians should celebrate the contribution of Patrick to the faith.  God bless us everyone!

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Very well, where do I begin?

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery.

My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.

My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.

My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really.

At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.

[Not a Partisan Hack ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Honestly with a few exceptions most GOP elected women are swamp creatures that look really ugly and are slimy and tone deaf. Wouldn't date one in a million years.

Hey, EXTREMEconservative said that conservative women are more attractive than liberal women. I don't know how one can compare Kim Davis with Tulsi Gabbard and disagree with him.

ExtremeConservative, a person who has previously said that he weighs in excess of 300 pounds, should probably not be judging the attractiveness of other people

300 pounds of pure attractive neoconservatism

[Landslide Lyndon]

I got you some things for your new home LimoLiberal. A nice couch:





A cot:





Some discount hungry mans:




Sorry I ran out of money when it came to the bathroom section, so there is a rusty bucket in the corner.

[TheLeftwardTide]

There are many underlying factors why this wholesome family values state will become a devilcratic bastion of evil. First is the growth of black people, also to local Klansmen as "economic anxiety causing persons". This will create a solid base for the demonrats to build off of to advance their anti-values agenda. Although these economic anxiety causing persons will create a base, the creation of anti-Christmas Mississippi will actually happen before they become a majority. Why? It is because poor white people, which there are a lot of on Mississippi because of the policies of our friend Supply Side Jesus, will betray their culture by accepting Sorosbucks for food. This will be caused by the sabotage of our wholesome policies for job growth by the coastal elites, which will cause a massive economic crisis. A demonrat, the name of whom is unknown at this time, will promise "higher wages", "affordable healthcare" "lifting the burden of consumer debt", and other SOCIALIST ideas, to a receptive population. In this campaign, where obviously satanists ritually sacrificed a goat to make the dumbocrats win, poor whites who voted republican to support Christmas will be unable to afford their life needs, and thus be willing to accept the satanic agenda. This election will create a satanic majority in the United States of America for 1000 years. Poor whites, grateful for the food they got for betraying their culture in hard times, will stick with the DemocRATS. Their votes will shift a wide block of the south away from the Grand Old Party, and Mississippi will be the biggest beacon of satanism in the country.

But there will be hope. Although devilrats will be a majority in this country, some coastal elites will regret their actions and decide to support Christmas for unselfish reasons. This trend will cause the states of Washington, New Hampshire, New Jersey, and Connecticut into bigly republican stronkholds, as well as turning the states of Illinois, New York, and Oregon into bellwethers evenly divided between good and evil.

But that's not all; a few people living the American Dream to the max will venture forth into the final frontier, and we all know frontiers support individualism, so space colonists will become literally Ron Paul. The vast wealth in asteroids will create a rush into space following their mining, so the number of Ron Pauls in existence will increase by hundreds of thousands a year. Eventually, states will have to be created to manage these wholesome individualists, and these states will be fast growing pro-business christian republican strongholds. Eventually, a coalition of Ron Paul and coastal elites regretting supporting Satan will propel a new pro-business majority some time in the 2060s-2080s.

Made my day.

[DINGO Joe]

In the spirit of the late Molly Ivins, I'd say Betsy DeVos as Secretary of Education is like a turtle atop a fencepost. It didn't get there through its own work, it doesn't belong there, and lord knows the poor thing is struggling.