Comedy Goldmine 3: The Mineshaft--SHAFT!

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Having read the Wiki, I recognize that he was not crazy at all but a drug addict.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Why do you encourage him?

Something to do with having the sense of humour of an especially immature three year old.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Some excerpts from the Seventh Circuit's opinion in United States v. Patridge:

..

Patridge's brief in the criminal appeal presents 19 issues, all frivolous. Many are in the style of tax-protest arguments that we might expect from a layman representing himself but do not expect to see in a brief filed by a member of the bar. For example, although counsel concedes that a person who earns income cannot avoid taxes by appointing it to a third party--here, by remitting the income to Trust #1--he insists that the maneuver may be penalized only if the taxpayer knows that 26 U.S.C. §7201 is the section of the Internal Revenue Code that makes the dodge unlawful. Cheek v. United States, 498 U.S. 192 (1991), holds that a person may be convicted of tax offenses only if he knows that the Code requires him to pay. The jury was so instructed, and its verdict shows that it found, beyond a reasonable doubt, that Patridge knew that he had to pay taxes on what he made from his business. ... Yet Patridge, in common with many other people who know what the law requires, could not say just which provisions of the Code make income taxable and prevent evasion. For that matter, many tax lawyers (and most judges) could not rattle off the citations without glancing at a book. ... Knowledge of the law's demands does not depend on knowing the citation any more than ability to watch a program on TV depends on knowing the frequency on which the signal is broadcast. ... None of the remaining 16 arguments in the criminal appeal requires comment. The appeal from the Tax Court is equally frivolous. ... The current proceeding is nothing but obstructionism. Jerold W. Barringer represented Patridge at trial, in the Tax Court, and during the three appeals to this court. He has performed below the standard of a pro se litigant; we have serious doubt about his fitness to practice law. The problem is not simply his inability to distinguish between plausible and preposterous arguments. It is his disdain for the norms of legal practice (19 issues indeed!) and the rules of procedure. ... [His statement of the facts] contains not a single fact and verges on illiteracy. One might think that Barringer had confused the "Statement of Facts" section with the "Summary of Argument" required by Rule 28(a)(, except that this passage does not contain any argument (it is argument free, though full of assertion) and is immediately followed by a six-page-long "SUMMARY OF APPELLANT'S ARGUMENTS". . . . We ... give Barringer 14 days to show cause why he should not be fined $10,000 for his frivolous arguments and noncompliance with the Rules, and why he should not be suspended from practice until he demonstrates an ability to litigate an appeal competently and responsibly.

Ouch. Not that I feel sorry for the guy.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Having just listened to Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries, I've now decided I'm strongly in favour of invading Poland.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

In the early to mid 1990's Philadelphia had a string of wrong address raids.  The police would usually get the address wrong.

Shortly thereafter, the the City of Philadelphia had a string of lawsuits from string of wrong address raids. 

Shortly thereafter, the the City of Philadelphia wrote a string of of checks to cover the cost of settling the string of lawsuits from string of wrong address raids.

Shortly thereafter, the police got better at finding the correct addresses.
 

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Vanity forbids me from not voting for myself.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

I find that liver failure will be sufficient to get me off work sick in a few years, I do not anticipate needing any additional excuses.

(on a silly question asking people what sort of cancer sticks they set fire to)

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Denis Healey was a comedian [...]

I don't think his Budgets were that funny...

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Hume laughs at you.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

A special friend of Al's.

Only funny in context.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Thoughts?

Best "role" for Joe Biden... Hmm...

Polonius seems about right....

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Considering it was covered in our local paper, yes. They proceeded to wildly estimate Kucinich's chances of getting his hands on the launch codes.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Not everyone lives in a bourgeois ghetto you know.

Best reason to support Romney, though.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Not everyone lives in a bourgeois ghetto you know.

Best reason to support Romney, though.

Oh, so you did go back and read that thread!  I was beginning to wonder whether you just couldn't respond to any of my posts or if you sctually didn't see them.  Now I know and I feel better.

Your post has been responded to, yer 'onner.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Here's my contribution:

1. 'Britain' is synonymous with 'England'.
2. There are only three parties in the British House of Representatives: Labor, Conservative and Yellow.
3. The British Senate has 1200 members, and all are appointed by the Queen.
4. The three most important issues in Britain today are European integration, immigration, and David Cameron.
5. Britain's closest ally is the US, and as a result they love and respect us as much as we do them.
6. The Queen has been re-elected every five years since 1952.
7. Every British citizen votes in every election.
8. The British media is renowned for its impartiality and focus on the issues that matter most.
9. The last five Prime Ministers are (in reverse order): Gordon Brown (2007- ), Tony Blair (9/11/2001 - 2007), Margaret Thatcher (the seventies - 2001), Paul McCartney (?), Winston Churchill (WW2).
10. The Shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer is probably the coolest title in the world.


I believe Al, Afleitch and Dave Hawk will verify all of this.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Ah, gotcha.  Communication breakdown, mayte. 

What's with the pirate talk?

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Along with that I also support gay people being allowed to serve opening in the military unless they cause problems. And by problems I mean that if they start flirting and causing trouble, just like straight people they should be removed.

ooh ooh misrter jedi u look pretty in that dress

wanna fool around on top the ferris wheel?

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Man, you guys are really true believers (...) in the American public (...).

That's a pretty harsh way of telling someone he's deranged.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Dean probably couldn't force his secretary to bring him coffee without bribing her first.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Volcker was appointed by Carter.