Update XVI: Sidejackin' it in the Train Room.

[Lief 🗽]

What about the strawberry though? Did you eat it?

[J-Mann]

J-Mann, I refuse to switch solely to water.  Sorry, but I am not going to do that and it's not going to kill me.  Gauss, I do drink predominately diet, although I do enjoy an occasional regular pop from time to time.  I will mix in water every now and then, but I refuse to switch exclusively to water.  I don't drink a lot of coffee, although I do enjoy it on occasion.

No one's asking you to castrate yourself ... I'm asking that you consider water or something better for yourself than just pop all the time. No, pop won't kill you. Drinking nothing but pop will contribute to your weight struggle and eventual early death.

I'm urging you to try it because, from what you post, the fluids you take in are almost exclusively sodas. At least boost your fluid intake with water or Gatorade, and if you need the caffeine, coffee.

[Bacon King]

"I don't know why you are still focusing on my behavior"
"I still have the headache that was directly caused by my behavior"

[Sopranos Republican]

Here is a photo from Google of the dessert Bushie accidentally ordered. A picture really is worth one thousand words.

The thing I find most hilarious, is that those are "moderate" sized oreos. They're like bigger than Sofia Vergara's tits for Christ's sake.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Bushie, are you willing to drink apple or orange juice?

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

In 10 minutes at the grocery store I bought water, fresh Brussel sprouts, stuff to make a creamy garlic noodle and steak. But I have more free time then someone who watches five college football games and three pro football games in one day. His problems are all self-inflicted from laziness and not one drop of willpower.

[King]

In 10 minutes at the grocery store I bought water, fresh Brussel sprouts, stuff to make a creamy garlic noodle and steak. But I have more free time then someone who watches five college football games and three pro football games in one day. His problems are all self-inflicted from laziness and not one drop of willpower.

Forget a meal like that, Bushie doesn't have enough time to "prepare a shopping list" to make Egg McMuffins.

1 box of english muffins
1 dozen eggs
Some ham

[Bacon King]

UPDATE BAILOUT NOW IN EFFECT

Although Update risked closure it is now back open for business thanks to swift action

new rules:

• If you're going to talk openly about your life on the forum and make everything about you then you have no right to limit discussion based on what you have presented to the forum
• This is especially true if you've had sixteen really bigass threads dedicated to you talking about your life, to the point they have become a forum institution
• Based on forum precedent from others who have mentioned their real names and other elements from their personal lives but later wanted to remove those things, if you do not want personal data you have posted about yourself being discussed on the forum your only recourse is to appeal directly to Dave to have the offending content removed and then never ever ever speak of your former forum identity again
• I have unlocked this thread without consultation with the other FC mods so they are free to overrule me on this if they believe it to be necessary

[Lief 🗽]

Wait when was this thread was locked?

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Thank you, Bacon.  I'm glad the people have someone who protects them from activist mods. 

[Bacon King]

Wait when was this thread was locked?

sometime between King's post and mine, I thought Bushie locked it but I didn't realize he wasn't the OP of this thread

[Eraserhead]

Guys, I may have accidently locked it while viewing it on my tablet. If that was the case, it was not intentional and I apologize. Let the show continue.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

So, what should I do? Have nothing to drink the entire day?  That's not going to happen.  I have calculated it before, it is roughly 1/3, maybe 3/8.

OK, well that's a false dichotomy... Perhaps try drinking something free, like water.  And it doesn't even have to be exclusively water.  Why do water on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and have your pop on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

The problem is that you never sacrifice anything when you're in debt; you just buy what you want, pay for what you can, and leave the rest for your parents to pick up.  How does that create any incentive for you to get out of debt?  It doesn't.  Someone who got themselves into debt as severely as you should have to give stuff up--that's not some sort of punishment, but it's necessary for you to understand why debt is bad.  I don't think you actually see your debt as a severely bad thing.

I assure you there was only one of those sandwiches, not two, and the fudge was about half that amount.  There was also a strawberry on the plate.

Oh, well in that case, it was very understandable that you substituted that for your horrible dinner.  It's practically a healthy meal... you've got the fruit category, dairy, hot fudge (which is made from cocoa beans, so that can count as your vegetable!), sugar, and flour in the cookie... you've practically got all the food groups, which must mean it's a healthy meal!

You guys just don't let things go very quickly.  You continue to harp on it long after it happened.  With that being said, I still have the same headache I got at dinner Friday night, so I may stay home from church tonight so I can get ready for work tomorrow.

You do realize the irony here, right?

Has it ever occurred to you that you don't have to post every detail of your life on an internet forum? Genuinely curious.

I should also point out that there are, of course, other (non alcoholic) cold drinks that can be consumed other than water or fizzy ket.

If I could get everybody to stop wondering why I don't post every detail, it would be a whole lot easier.  I've tried to get everybody to immediately stop asking me about things, but they refuse.  I would love to close the update once and for all, but people desire to trash me.  They get pleasure from insulting me and mocking me.  They can't stand the fact that I might like privacy every now and then.  When I don't post for a while, posts are made with rumors to try to entice me.  Yes, I need to stop listening, but every single person must cooperate.

No, Jeff, the only person responsible for the continuation of the Update is you.  If you stopped, Update would stop.  You are the only person who has that power.  For once take accountability for your actions and stop trying to blame other people for what you do.

[King]

I think The Onion employee who browses here needs to show himself. It's getting too ridiculous

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[Negusa Nagast 🚀]

So, what should I do? Have nothing to drink the entire day?  That's not going to happen.  I have calculated it before, it is roughly 1/3, maybe 3/8.

OK, well that's a false dichotomy... Perhaps try drinking something free, like water.  And it doesn't even have to be exclusively water.  Why do water on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and have your pop on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Even if he agreed to such a scheme, he would just drastically raise his soda consumption on the allowed days. Any substantive efficacy requires going cold turkey, which he lacks the willpower to attempt.

[Fmr President & Senator Polnut]

"I refuse" .... really? This is yet another example of his childish approach to food and his health.

[AkSaber]

I refuse to switch solely to water. 

PLEASE reconsider

http://dailyhealthpost.com/this-is-what-happens-in-your-body-when-you-drink-a-coke/

[Lief 🗽]

The "drinking water" story arc is possibly the most depressing of the entire Update saga. Human beings should not be revolted by the taste of water. It's really sad what's happened to the guy's palate.

[memphis]

I like these individual instant tea things when I'm craving something sweet to drink. There are many different flavors and brands available. You just add to a bottle of water and shake it up. They're the most convenient things ever, which should be right up Bushie's alley. I don't think there actually any fruit/plant related ingredients if that is a concern.

[King]

Bushie is psychologically averse to any viewed positive change.

If we told him tomorrow "a double bacon cheeseburger with fries and a regular coke would help you lose weight," he'd suddenly have to start eating triple bacon cheeseburgers with supersized sides.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

This is the thing that I have been saying for years now. Bushie has been conditioned to view eating healthy food as punishment, and because of this, he will never be healthy and never lose weight. When he says "it's the weekend! No one should diet on weekends!" it means he is a lose cause. All we are doing is asking him to do simple things like eat a vegetable here and there. It isn't rocket science.

[bedstuy]

Just for contrast, I went on a diet over the summer.  I was like 5'10, 160, 31 waist at the start and I wanted to be about 150, closer to a 30 waist.

I ate basically the same thing every day.  One egg and a black coffee for breakfast, protein shake or skinless chicken breast for lunch, rice, beans, a couple of skinless chicken breasts and steamed veggies for dinner.  Sometimes I had a glass of red wine, but I had no other alcohol, snacks or sweets, no exceptions.   That's about 1000 calories max depending on how I cooked the chicken.  I also lifted weights three times a week and probably walked on average 3 miles per day and aimed to drink one gallon of water per day.  I lost weight super fast and I lost about 12 lbs, almost all fat in about a month.  That's a diet, drinking soda, eating tons of carbs and sweets is not a diet.  It's not fun, but that's what a diet is like.  You just need to make peace with the fact that you're going to feel hungry, but it's OK to feel hungry.  Once you get used to calorie restriction and the feeling of an empty stomach, it's not so bad. 

If you want to go on a diet, that's my advice.  Just eat the same thing almost every day, pick a low calorie carbohydrate to eat, and totally cut out the things like bread, snacks and sweets.   Once you start eating carbs or sweets, most people don't have the willpower to moderate themselves.  I don't either.  I can't just moderate myself to a recommended portion of ice cream or pasta or sweets.  But, if cut out unhealthy stuff entirely, you create habits and find healthy foods that are palatable.  You can adjust to less food.  It's not like anyone besides maybe Shaq requires 4000 calories a day.  People overeat because they listen to their appetite and not their common sense.  It's just like a heroine addict's brain telling them that they need more heroine.  Your brain lies to you about things like that.

[Panda Express]

Let me be completely truthful here for a bit:

Tonight, I was trying to go for a complete meal with a meat and veggie(s).  I ordered the steak as my meat, but there weren't any vegetables that I liked on the side list, so I had to go with mashed potatoes and mac and cheese.  It turns out that was FRIED mac and cheese.  I didn't touch it and only had a few bites of the potatoes and maybe 2 or 3 bites of the steak.  That should have been enough on its own, and I didn't need the ice cream, but I ordered without thinking.  Funny, though, I was cognizant of the challenge when I decided to go with steak instead of burger and fries.  So, yeah, i goofed and I may pay for that on the scale in the morning.  Not to mention, I've got a headache from the chocolate in the dessert.  I should have gone to Cracker Barrel. 

You're awfully picky for being such a fat f(inks).

[memphis]

Just for contrast, I went on a diet over the summer.  I was like 5'10, 160, 31 waist at the start and I wanted to be about 150, closer to a 30 waist.

I ate basically the same thing every day.  One egg and a black coffee for breakfast, protein shake or skinless chicken breast for lunch, rice, beans, a couple of skinless chicken breasts and steamed veggies for dinner.  Sometimes I had a glass of red wine, but I had no other alcohol, snacks or sweets, no exceptions.   That's about 1000 calories max depending on how I cooked the chicken.  I also lifted weights three times a week and probably walked on average 3 miles per day and aimed to drink one gallon of water per day.  I lost weight super fast and I lost about 12 lbs, almost all fat in about a month.  That's a diet, drinking soda, eating tons of carbs and sweets is not a diet.  It's not fun, but that's what a diet is like.  You just need to make peace with the fact that you're going to feel hungry, but it's OK to feel hungry.  Once you get used to calorie restriction and the feeling of an empty stomach, it's not so bad. 

If you want to go on a diet, that's my advice.  Just eat the same thing almost every day, pick a low calorie carbohydrate to eat, and totally cut out the things like bread, snacks and sweets.   Once you start eating carbs or sweets, most people don't have the willpower to moderate themselves.  I don't either.  I can't just moderate myself to a recommended portion of ice cream or pasta or sweets.  But, if cut out unhealthy stuff entirely, you create habits and find healthy foods that are palatable.  You can adjust to less food.  It's not like anyone besides maybe Shaq requires 4000 calories a day.  People overeat because they listen to their appetite and not their common sense.  It's just like a heroine addict's brain telling them that they need more heroine.  Your brain lies to you about things like that.

Eating just 1000 calories/day is also extremely unhealthy. There's a happy medium between what you propose and how Bushie gorges himself.

[bedstuy]

Yeah, might have been a bit low, but I think I probably hit 1500 a lot of days and was closer to 1000 other days.  You end up eating a little more than you planned on any particular day.  But, my point is the same whether you're at 1200 calories or 2000 calories.  Making exceptions and trying to moderately eat sweets is not going to work.