Talk Elections

General Politics => U.S. General Discussion => Topic started by: Lief 🗽 on May 27, 2012, 02:45:07 AM



Title: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Lief 🗽 on May 27, 2012, 02:45:07 AM
Surprised we haven't had anything posted about this yet.

http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/05/26/2818832/naked-man-shot-killed-on-macarthur.html

Quote
One man was shot to death by Miami police, and another man is fighting for his life after he was attacked and his face allegedly half eaten, by a naked man on the MacArthur Causeway off ramp, police said.

The bloodshed began about 2 p.m. when a series of gunshots were heard on the ramp, which is along NE 13th Street, just south of The Miami Herald building. Witnesses said a woman saw the two men fighting and flagged down a police officer who was in the area.

The officer, who has not been identified, approached and saw that the naked man was actually chewing the other man’s head, according to witnesses. The officer ordered the naked man to back away, and when he continued the assault, the officer shot him. The attacker continued to eat the man, despite being shot, forcing the officer to continue firing. Witnesses said they heard at least a half dozen shots.

Miami police were on the scene, which was just south of The Miami Herald building on Biscayne Boulevard. The naked man who was killed lay face down on the pedestrian walkway just below the newspaper’s two-story parking garage. Police requested The Herald’s video surveillance tapes.

The other man was transported to the hospital with critical injuries, according to police. Their identities were not released.

The incident, which came as crowds descended upon South Beach for the annual Urban Beach Week hip-hop festival, snarled traffic on the causeway for several hours.


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Fuzzybigfoot on May 27, 2012, 03:06:55 AM
WTF?!?


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Eraserhead on May 27, 2012, 03:27:06 AM
Hot damn. The end is truly nigh.


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Donerail on May 27, 2012, 08:04:35 AM
Ah, Florida...


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: FEMA Camp Administrator on May 27, 2012, 09:23:11 AM


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on May 27, 2012, 09:51:31 AM

Don't think it could've been said better than this...


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Vazdul (Formerly Chairman of the Communist Party of Ontario) on May 27, 2012, 10:44:44 AM
The incident, which came as crowds descended upon South Beach for the annual Urban Beach Week hip-hop festival, snarled traffic on the causeway for several hours.

This is no zombie attack, just more evidence of the decline of our nation's fabric brought on by hip-hop culture.[/Naso]


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: dead0man on May 27, 2012, 11:27:38 AM
So...huh...PCP?


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Oakvale on May 27, 2012, 12:25:38 PM
Don't do PCP, kids!


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: BaldEagle1991 on May 27, 2012, 12:58:41 PM
Looks the zombies don't realize it isn't 4 days before Christmas. (December 21)


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Atlas Has Shrugged on May 27, 2012, 01:02:52 PM
I have not been in Miami for four years, and I have long ago decided that I would never, ever go back.


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Donerail on May 27, 2012, 01:07:41 PM

Naw, just FLA. Seriously. Here's some news headlines from the local paper: "Man with gun assaults women to cut ahead in fast-food line, police say"; "Airplane door detached, fell on Broward County golf course"; Man accused of trying to steal clock off police station wall"; Child brings 3 ounces of pot to school for show-and-tell, police say"; "Man sticks up Bradenton bank armed with medical syringe". These are all from the last two days.


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY on May 27, 2012, 01:53:38 PM

Naw, just FLA. Seriously. Here's some news headlines from the local paper: "Man with gun assaults women to cut ahead in fast-food line, police say"; "Airplane door detached, fell on Broward County golf course"; Man accused of trying to steal clock off police station wall"; Child brings 3 ounces of pot to school for show-and-tell, police say"; "Man sticks up Bradenton bank armed with medical syringe". These are all from the last two days.
I'd move to where you live just to read the paper.


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Napoleon on May 27, 2012, 02:09:01 PM
I was wondering how God would react to banning the Jmfcst.


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: k-onmmunist on May 27, 2012, 02:23:48 PM
I love how everyone assumed it was PCP, given that it's usually not even that dangerous to people around you (Most people don't lash out unless they were violent anyway). Most likely just some psycho.


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Oakvale on May 27, 2012, 02:42:44 PM
I love how everyone assumed it was PCP, given that it's usually not even that dangerous to people around you (Most people don't lash out unless they were violent anyway). Most likely just some psycho.

Is that you Big Lurch?


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Person Man on May 27, 2012, 03:07:40 PM
Florida really f'd the granny this time. That's why I love that place...


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: dead0man on May 27, 2012, 04:01:08 PM

Naw, just FLA. Seriously. Here's some news headlines from the local paper: "Man with gun assaults women to cut ahead in fast-food line, police say"; "Airplane door detached, fell on Broward County golf course"; Man accused of trying to steal clock off police station wall"; Child brings 3 ounces of pot to school for show-and-tell, police say"; "Man sticks up Bradenton bank armed with medical syringe". These are all from the last two days.
Indeed you are correct...there is a reason Fark has a "Florida" tag and no other state....there is a reason Adam Carolla's podcast has a bit about "Florida or Germany" (where they give the basic facts of a story and you're supposed to guess whether it happened in Florida or Germany).  I spend two years in Florida (the red neck riviera part) so I understand.


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: k-onmmunist on May 27, 2012, 06:07:15 PM
I love how everyone assumed it was PCP, given that it's usually not even that dangerous to people around you (Most people don't lash out unless they were violent anyway). Most likely just some psycho.

Is that you Big Lurch?

Livers plz.


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Fuzzybigfoot on May 27, 2012, 06:58:57 PM
Maybe he was just homesick for New Jersey.  Trolololololololol


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Donerail on May 27, 2012, 09:24:13 PM

Naw, just FLA. Seriously. Here's some news headlines from the local paper: "Man with gun assaults women to cut ahead in fast-food line, police say"; "Airplane door detached, fell on Broward County golf course"; Man accused of trying to steal clock off police station wall"; Child brings 3 ounces of pot to school for show-and-tell, police say"; "Man sticks up Bradenton bank armed with medical syringe". These are all from the last two days.
I'd move to where you live just to read the paper.

You don't have to; it's the largest newspaper in the Southeast (Tampa Bay Times) and thus has its own website here (http://www.tampabay.com/blogs/bizarre/). The current headline is, of course, "Miami Police Shoot Naked Man Found Eating Face of Another Man".


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: k-onmmunist on May 29, 2012, 02:56:06 AM
They're now blaming LSD. Apparently, no-one in the police force has any clue what LSD actually does.


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Donerail on May 29, 2012, 06:45:08 AM
They're now blaming LSD. Apparently, no-one in the police force has any clue what LSD actually does.

I'd heard they were blaming cocaine that causes one to remove one's clothes.


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: k-onmmunist on May 29, 2012, 08:01:57 AM
They're now blaming LSD. Apparently, no-one in the police force has any clue what LSD actually does.

I'd heard they were blaming cocaine that causes one to remove one's clothes.

Cocaine is more likely than LSD - I've never heard of anyone having a violent freakout on LSD.


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Rooney on May 29, 2012, 05:06:32 PM
I do not believe that this happened. I think this story is a bald faced lie.


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Donerail on May 29, 2012, 06:02:07 PM
I do not believe that this happened. I think this story is a bald faced lie.
http://socialmediaseo.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/miami-zombie-lesson.jpg (http://socialmediaseo.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/miami-zombie-lesson.jpg)

Pictures are kinda graphic, but there they are.


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Queen Mum Inks.LWC on May 31, 2012, 01:43:47 AM
I love how everyone assumed it was PCP, given that it's usually not even that dangerous to people around you (Most people don't lash out unless they were violent anyway). Most likely just some psycho.

It almost certainly had to be some type of drug.  Even psychopaths and psychotic people feel pain when shot.


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Fuzzybigfoot on May 31, 2012, 03:38:54 AM
How exactly did they both get naked?  ???


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Donerail on May 31, 2012, 06:16:01 AM
I love how everyone assumed it was PCP, given that it's usually not even that dangerous to people around you (Most people don't lash out unless they were violent anyway). Most likely just some psycho.

It almost certainly had to be some type of drug.  Even psychopaths and psychotic people feel pain when shot.

Current reports say it was "bath salts".


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Platypus on May 31, 2012, 08:50:39 AM
I love how everyone assumed it was PCP, given that it's usually not even that dangerous to people around you (Most people don't lash out unless they were violent anyway). Most likely just some psycho.

It almost certainly had to be some type of drug.  Even psychopaths and psychotic people feel pain when shot.

Current reports say it was "bath salts".

that's what I've heard too; an artificial chemical compound that mimics cocaine in some ways.


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: King on May 31, 2012, 11:36:02 AM
I heard it was a deadly cocktail of Tylenol Extra Strength, NyQuil Cold & Flu, and NEW! Redbull Total Zero in a 24oz can which caused this brutal attack.


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Simfan34 on May 31, 2012, 07:11:37 PM
Clearly drugs had no part in the crime and cause no harm to anybody at all anywhere.

In other news:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/31/alexander-kinyua-kujoe-agyei-kodie-ate-brain-heart-roommate-maryland_n_1560149.html


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY on May 31, 2012, 08:54:56 PM
In other news:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/31/alexander-kinyua-kujoe-agyei-kodie-ate-brain-heart-roommate-maryland_n_1560149.html

Dammit! Zombie repellent is expensive!


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: King on June 01, 2012, 09:53:01 AM
Clearly drugs had no part in the crime and cause no harm to anybody at all anywhere.

In other news:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/31/alexander-kinyua-kujoe-agyei-kodie-ate-brain-heart-roommate-maryland_n_1560149.html

It all makes sense now.  Trayvon Martin was on a pot-induced brain eating binge and Zimmerman did us all a favor.  Unfortunately, he wasn't patient zero.


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: k-onmmunist on June 01, 2012, 12:47:59 PM
Clearly drugs had no part in the crime and cause no harm to anybody at all anywhere.

In other news:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/31/alexander-kinyua-kujoe-agyei-kodie-ate-brain-heart-roommate-maryland_n_1560149.html

Clearly drugs are evil and everyone who makes a personal choice to use them should be executed in public.

See? We can make strawmen too.


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Simfan34 on June 01, 2012, 02:14:46 PM
Clearly drugs had no part in the crime and cause no harm to anybody at all anywhere.

In other news:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/31/alexander-kinyua-kujoe-agyei-kodie-ate-brain-heart-roommate-maryland_n_1560149.html

Clearly drugs are evil and everyone who makes a personal choice to use them should be executed in public.

See? We can make strawmen too.

I am not saying that. However you are making every effort possible to make this appear like this had nothing to do with drugs of any sort.


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Queen Mum Inks.LWC on June 01, 2012, 04:59:41 PM
Clearly drugs had no part in the crime and cause no harm to anybody at all anywhere.

In other news:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/31/alexander-kinyua-kujoe-agyei-kodie-ate-brain-heart-roommate-maryland_n_1560149.html

Clearly drugs are evil and everyone who makes a personal choice to use them should be executed in public.

See? We can make strawmen too.

Sarcasm =/= strawman.


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Bacon King on June 06, 2012, 02:52:44 PM
Zombies spreading west, now in central Louisiana:

http://www.fox8live.com/story/18719970/scott-man-arrested-after-alleged-face-bite-attack


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Incipimus iterum on June 06, 2012, 02:57:15 PM
umm O_O


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Simfan34 on June 06, 2012, 03:33:13 PM
Is this some kind of media-spread mass hysteria?


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: k-onmmunist on June 06, 2012, 03:35:13 PM
This is beginning to disturb me somewhat now.


Title: Re: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
Post by: Simfan34 on June 06, 2012, 03:45:24 PM

Don't. The only reason we're seeing these stories is that people are paying attention to them. Otherwise they'd never leave local news, there is no "trend". The internet is not helping, either.