Title: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Platypus on September 18, 2012, 06:47:15 PM
Go. Be funny. Post funny things.
Inaugurated in Loving Memory of Michael Assad.
Inaugurated in Loving Memory of Michael Assad.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on September 18, 2012, 06:56:26 PM
Context:
This is my contribution to this debate.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY on September 18, 2012, 06:57:53 PM
I think the Institute is still up.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: Napoleon on September 18, 2012, 07:19:20 PM
this thread.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: Platypus on September 18, 2012, 09:45:21 PM
Endorsed replacement:
Dear students, faculty and staff,
Hope you enjoyed break. Class is back in session!
Hope you enjoyed break. Class is back in session!
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: Mr. Morden on September 19, 2012, 03:32:28 AM
The other thread is awful now. This is the real comedy goldmine, as far as I'm concerned.
My first entry:
My first entry:
Enjoy your final hours as a moderator.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: SPC on September 19, 2012, 07:01:08 PM
Context:
This is like the time when Emperor Hirohitho adressed Japan via radio for the first time.
Title: Michael Assad's Comedy Goldmine Institute
Post by: Mr. Morden on September 21, 2012, 10:17:23 PM
"Stuff they do on hard wood" is presumably what BSB is talking about. :P
I know that's a basketball reference, but cheerleaders do perform on the hard wood. So, it's still not a gaffe, IMO.
Title: Michael Assad's Comedy Goldmine Institute
Post by: Mr. Morden on September 23, 2012, 07:18:15 PM
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on September 23, 2012, 08:41:18 PM
Plus there really is no better middle ground than taking both extremes.
()
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: Јas on September 24, 2012, 04:47:11 AM
People! Invest now in popcorn shares!
Title: Michael Assad's Comedy Goldmine Institute
Post by: Mr. Morden on September 24, 2012, 10:41:48 PM
Naso has a man with whom he travels in Florida? This thread just became more interesting than the Update.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: Smid on September 25, 2012, 02:44:27 AM
For ban: 47%
Against ban: 49%
My numbers:
For ban 100%
Against ban 0%
Ban carries
Against ban: 49%
My numbers:
For ban 100%
Against ban 0%
Ban carries
Title: Michael Assad's Comedy Goldmine Institute
Post by: Mr. Morden on October 01, 2012, 06:09:04 AM
Context:
In case anybody has missed it, Politico is currently suggesting that people who are made to feel unwelcome in a particular community are better off leaving than sticking around and putting up with the abuse.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: opebo on October 01, 2012, 06:44:21 AM
The other thread is awful now. This is the real comedy goldmine, as far as I'm concerned.
My first entry:
My first entry:
Enjoy your final hours as a moderator.
Gloating isn't funny, Mordan.
Title: The Michael Assad Comedy Goldmine Institute
Post by: Mr. Morden on October 07, 2012, 01:05:16 AM
Mitt Romney is not a governor. He is an ex-governor. The governor of Massachusetts is Deval Patrick.
In America, ex-politicians are generally called by their most recent office held as a matter of courtesy, which is why (for instance) Bill Clinton is still introduced as President Clinton and Mitt Romney is still Governor Romney.
I've always thought it's a pretty ridiculous custom. You don't see the BBC calling Tony Blair the Prime Minister, for example.
Thankfully the UK doesn't have ridiculous titles given for life.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: Grumpier Than Uncle Joe on October 07, 2012, 11:04:59 AM
This thread should be locked permanently.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: Torie on October 07, 2012, 01:16:45 PM
This thread should be locked permanently.
Re your sig Grumps of which I just took cognizance, I would note that many priests and I do have something in common. :P
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: Grumpier Than Uncle Joe on October 07, 2012, 01:20:52 PM
This thread should be locked permanently.
Re your sig Grumps of which I just took cognizance, I would note that many priests and I do have something in common. :P
I'm not even going there.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: minionofmidas on October 07, 2012, 01:21:49 PM
Reminds me of that one city entrance sign in Frankfurt that's been amusing me for years despite the crass lowbrowness of the statement.
[official print]Frankfurt am Main[/official print]
[vandalism]Wir Ficken Jeden[/vandalism]
[vandalism]Wir Ficken Jeden[/vandalism]
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 07, 2012, 01:32:05 PM
[official print]Frankfurt am Main[/official print]
[vandalism]Wir Ficken Jeden[/vandalism]
[vandalism]Wir Ficken Jeden[/vandalism]
HAH
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: Grumpier Than Uncle Joe on October 07, 2012, 04:23:53 PM
[official print]Frankfurt am Main[/official print]
[vandalism]Wir Ficken Jeden[/vandalism]
[vandalism]Wir Ficken Jeden[/vandalism]
HAH
Lulz
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: Filuwaúrdjan on October 07, 2012, 09:34:05 PM
a tweet from Breitbart has as much credibility as a check from Drew Pritt.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: Queen Mum Inks.LWC on October 09, 2012, 11:30:58 AM
This thread should be locked permanently.
Well that's something the original poster is going to have to do. ;)
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 09, 2012, 04:27:41 PM
I was within 1500 feet of children yesterday.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: King on October 09, 2012, 08:18:36 PM
That was probably the first J. J. intentional joke that made me laugh
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: Oakvale on October 10, 2012, 06:58:07 PM
You are a gay?
Yeah. But I don't give a f[inks] about guys' weight either.
Bears?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: Queen Mum Inks.LWC on October 11, 2012, 02:11:54 AM
I'm sorry, but any process that might allow Paulites to become unfaithful electors is not "democracy."
The electoral college isn't democracy anyways.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 11, 2012, 07:03:58 AM
He's not wrong, you know.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: Queen Mum Inks.LWC on October 11, 2012, 07:05:15 AM
He's not wrong, you know.
I know. It was between posting it in the comedy thread or the "oh snap" thread, but I found it more funny than "oh snap"-y
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: CatoMinor on October 11, 2012, 02:15:57 PM
i don't care as long as you drop this romney gimmick.
I'm sure he will the moment your leftist phase ends :)
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: tmthforu94 on October 11, 2012, 03:41:54 PM
I'm sorry, Idaho, but I got to:
i have and i want it to stop cause my moms overweight and i have a Girlfriend...
I just got a private message, unsolicited, from clarence of a very very large woman in a bikini. Has anyone else experienced this kind of thing? I don't particularly care, but it is weird.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 11, 2012, 03:43:18 PM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161419.0
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: Phony Moderate on October 11, 2012, 03:54:30 PM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?board=68.0
Title: The Michael Assad Comedy Goldmine Institute
Post by: Mr. Morden on October 15, 2012, 08:26:50 PM
On Bushie's untruthfullness about how much weight he's lost:
Don't you guys ever visit the polling boards? Never trust numbers with decimal points.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: Mr. Morden on October 17, 2012, 08:55:15 PM
*Bump*, since the other thread was locked.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 17, 2012, 09:29:00 PM
She interrupted Romney 28 times, and gave Obama 4 minutes more speaking time, and slanted all the questions to help Obama.
She fulfilled her mission perfectly.
A+
She fulfilled her mission perfectly.
A+
()
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on October 17, 2012, 11:11:12 PM
We really should have Dick Morris on ignore by this point.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine (Inaugurated in loving memory of Michael Assad)
Post by: Joe Republic on October 18, 2012, 12:47:46 AM
No black president has ever been re-elected. Obama is done for.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Keystone Phil on October 18, 2012, 12:52:09 PM
After all of that drama surrounding the locking of The Institute, it just ended up being locked anyway. :( I'm glad we could at least enjoy a few more weeks there. This will never be the same.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Insula Dei on October 18, 2012, 08:53:44 PM
Why would you start this? You didn't close the old one did you?? Where is Keyston Phil?
Weirdly fitting.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on October 18, 2012, 11:46:43 PM
What I've learned from this board: major players in the 2012 Presidential race include Arlen Specter and Fidel Castro.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on October 19, 2012, 12:16:01 AM
First University of Colorado statisticians and now a squirrel!
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on October 19, 2012, 11:05:53 AM
This is a rogue thread.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 19, 2012, 05:33:54 PM
Caffeine and alcohol.
And I drunk alcohol while underage (20) in the United States in August. Rebel.
And I drunk alcohol while underage (20) in the United States in August. Rebel.
Thug life.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 19, 2012, 09:33:11 PM
Herman's favorite pizza is the meat combo. Because a) he "looooves meat"
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on October 19, 2012, 10:55:56 PM
Dear 2012 board,
Keep this clean because I want saboteurs and wreckers to be kind and considerate to those who disagree with the moderators of this disaster. Paul Ryan is from Janesville, where they apologize for producing Paul Ryan. A man of three words only – Packers and cheese-heads, with his enormous ears and suits. Joe Biden’s left arm is muscular and old, but he uses it well. It’s over. I don’t understand Mitt Romney’s positions. They are wondrously erotic and strange on any issue. He said he is severely conservative, but practices polygamy. “I enjoy curves,” he told supporters, and supporters vomited. Romney flip-flopped immediately, and flip-flopped again. Whips and chains are really fun to use on practicing Mormons who believe that the six wives of Barack Hussein Obama are really Romney’s. Hillary Clinton’s beauty does not exist. Who knew that Xahar was dropped from American Idol as a kid because he sucked certain things that kids should not have knowledge of, unless they have very bad parents? Qaddafi’s Nescafe drugs were consumed by Mustafa Abdul Jalil. Mitt Romney condemned the public display of apartheid memorabilia due to his father’s decision to brainwash his son. Sometimes I wonder about the virtue, or lack thereof, associated with doing many drugs. Cthulhu is rumored to endorse safe sex. Vote Cthulhu ’16! Because big black boxes of balloons will otherwise be considered morally objectionable. The three moderators are on my black list, so get Dave Leip to agree to fire them all. I hereby declare, “YOU ARE FIRED!!!!” A magic potion made me feel high as a balloon. Jill Stein really loves attention, but she is Kalwejt’s secret lover. A grilled bratwurst tastes so good. For heaven’s sake, please refrain from yanking on your yang-yang in public, because Simfan34 is not amused by that or similar activities that dismay Mike Naso, who used to be a homosexual, but won’t admit it, just like Grumps, who doesn’t realize that the election actually depends on increased racism among the white working-class, by the power of Jesus Almighty. Mitt Romney is rumored to be surprisingly talented at playing bass guitar and raping large companies of profit. Contrary to popular belief, Mormonism is a life of crime and murder, which only recently has been proscribed because of its government-like secrecy concerning unusual sexual practices, such as dragon sex, which is frightening, yet delicious with some cream. The cream is known to cause liberals to feel itchy in some very sensitive areas. Very many thanks; this board sucks just like Grumps. Tell Sarah Palin that her daughters are the most homophobic little Alaskans and trampy bitches to have ever gotten such large amounts of attention. Eight gallons of man juice ran through Politico, because Mitt Romney was in jail once. Tell the Moderators to ban Grumps right f[Inks]g now! Postscript: Done. Nym. By the way, Grumps is wonderful; nah, just kidding. Sometimes Grumps uses a nasty bunch of trampy young blondes to pleasure his randomly enlarged attitude regarding the entire rear of Hillary. My big black statue of David is beautiful as Hillary quick-stepping with a certain Chicagoan Mayor known as ‘Hillary Rodham’s behind the curtain’. Finally, Hillary is nude planning a copper, but Clarence decided to put his lengthy, aged opinion inside a hole of ignorance. Nevertheless, this whole thread is a pathetic disgusting piece of Skylarks, fighting a pointless war that Sirnick has won. The f[Inks]g END!
Sincerely,
Forum Community
Keep this clean because I want saboteurs and wreckers to be kind and considerate to those who disagree with the moderators of this disaster. Paul Ryan is from Janesville, where they apologize for producing Paul Ryan. A man of three words only – Packers and cheese-heads, with his enormous ears and suits. Joe Biden’s left arm is muscular and old, but he uses it well. It’s over. I don’t understand Mitt Romney’s positions. They are wondrously erotic and strange on any issue. He said he is severely conservative, but practices polygamy. “I enjoy curves,” he told supporters, and supporters vomited. Romney flip-flopped immediately, and flip-flopped again. Whips and chains are really fun to use on practicing Mormons who believe that the six wives of Barack Hussein Obama are really Romney’s. Hillary Clinton’s beauty does not exist. Who knew that Xahar was dropped from American Idol as a kid because he sucked certain things that kids should not have knowledge of, unless they have very bad parents? Qaddafi’s Nescafe drugs were consumed by Mustafa Abdul Jalil. Mitt Romney condemned the public display of apartheid memorabilia due to his father’s decision to brainwash his son. Sometimes I wonder about the virtue, or lack thereof, associated with doing many drugs. Cthulhu is rumored to endorse safe sex. Vote Cthulhu ’16! Because big black boxes of balloons will otherwise be considered morally objectionable. The three moderators are on my black list, so get Dave Leip to agree to fire them all. I hereby declare, “YOU ARE FIRED!!!!” A magic potion made me feel high as a balloon. Jill Stein really loves attention, but she is Kalwejt’s secret lover. A grilled bratwurst tastes so good. For heaven’s sake, please refrain from yanking on your yang-yang in public, because Simfan34 is not amused by that or similar activities that dismay Mike Naso, who used to be a homosexual, but won’t admit it, just like Grumps, who doesn’t realize that the election actually depends on increased racism among the white working-class, by the power of Jesus Almighty. Mitt Romney is rumored to be surprisingly talented at playing bass guitar and raping large companies of profit. Contrary to popular belief, Mormonism is a life of crime and murder, which only recently has been proscribed because of its government-like secrecy concerning unusual sexual practices, such as dragon sex, which is frightening, yet delicious with some cream. The cream is known to cause liberals to feel itchy in some very sensitive areas. Very many thanks; this board sucks just like Grumps. Tell Sarah Palin that her daughters are the most homophobic little Alaskans and trampy bitches to have ever gotten such large amounts of attention. Eight gallons of man juice ran through Politico, because Mitt Romney was in jail once. Tell the Moderators to ban Grumps right f[Inks]g now! Postscript: Done. Nym. By the way, Grumps is wonderful; nah, just kidding. Sometimes Grumps uses a nasty bunch of trampy young blondes to pleasure his randomly enlarged attitude regarding the entire rear of Hillary. My big black statue of David is beautiful as Hillary quick-stepping with a certain Chicagoan Mayor known as ‘Hillary Rodham’s behind the curtain’. Finally, Hillary is nude planning a copper, but Clarence decided to put his lengthy, aged opinion inside a hole of ignorance. Nevertheless, this whole thread is a pathetic disgusting piece of Skylarks, fighting a pointless war that Sirnick has won. The f[Inks]g END!
Sincerely,
Forum Community
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 20, 2012, 09:24:04 AM
So give us an example, Mr. Critic.
The cesarian scene in Prometheus does not count.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 20, 2012, 10:48:37 AM
Benefit Romney? Hardly. Muslims and Arabs will vote for one of their own.
Nader's not running this time.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on October 21, 2012, 12:58:11 PM
Context needed.
One of these is said to be a surprisingly readable book that would probably be considered comedy if its author had not managed to put the ideas in it into practice. So yeah, that one.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on October 21, 2012, 03:45:26 PM
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10000872396390443675404578059311445951162.html
Shame on him.
He should face up to it like a man instead of hiding behind a woman.
As President Harry Truman said, THE BUCK STOPS HERE.
Shame on him.
He should face up to it like a man instead of hiding behind a woman.
As President Harry Truman said, THE BUCK STOPS HERE.
With Obie, it's like a frat house - bros before hoes, duuude! And Obie's going to help his bankster bros out during the lame duck Congress by with a fire sale on Social Security. Maybe Hillary would have an identical policy agenda, but her wing of the Democratic Party would actually hold her accountable for gutting the last of the New Deal; with BroBots, they actually prefer right-wing economic policy (planned joblessness, retroactive legalization of accounting control fraud, stealth bankster bailouts, health-insurance company bailouts, taxing work more than accumulated wealth, privatizing K-12, continued parasitism by the financial/higher-"education" complex, etc.), but derive their liberal credentials by bashing Christians and letting bros get married. On foreign policy, Obie's has normalized and expanded Shrub's imperialism; liberals are wont to justify it now, just because the emperor isn't a pretend cowboy (bad press, bro!).
I'm slightly confused here.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on October 21, 2012, 07:33:04 PM
To clarify: This is Mitt Romney's America.
I wouldn't mind being able to have 15¢ hamburgers again.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on October 21, 2012, 08:28:28 PM
.... who?
This is what makes me cry for this place. So very, very sad.
In fairness the poster in question would have been about... er... ten? seven? five? at the time...
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: opebo on October 22, 2012, 05:14:49 AM
I was referring to Mein Kampf.
I thought you were refering to all three of them.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on October 22, 2012, 08:49:51 AM
You could always find a new hopeless ideology to follow.
Like libertarianism! :)
Probably better suited to the Sulfur mine, but this was easier to find.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oakvale on October 22, 2012, 02:22:11 PM
Um no, the entire brony subculture disproves you.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Lief 🗽 on October 22, 2012, 03:49:11 PM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=162380.0
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck on October 22, 2012, 03:53:50 PM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=162380.0
hahahaha
I'm actually growing to like the guy, because there's no way he's serious. He's the Colbert of the Atlas board.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Phony Moderate on October 22, 2012, 03:53:52 PM
The actual post needs to be put here.
"Good news"
Romney and Obama tied in Ohio (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=162283.msg3476515#msg3476515)
Romney leads by 1 in New Hampshire (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=162091.msg3472945#msg3472945)
Romney leads by 3 in Virginia (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=162079.msg3472787#msg3472787)
Republicans overperforming in Ohio early voting (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=162016.msg3471724#msg3471724)
Allen West and Romney leading in FL-18 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=162015.msg3471710#msg3471710)
Tied race in FL-22 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161995.msg3471272#msg3471272)
Dean Heller leads by 6 in Nevada (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161979.msg3471031#msg3471031)
Dean Heller leads by 7 in Nevada (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161976.msg3471018#msg3471018)
Richard Mourdock ahead by 5 in Indiana (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161721.msg3466605#msg3466605)
Romney ahead by 1 in Virginia and tied in Iowa (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161703.msg3466414#msg3466414)
Romney ahead by 3 in national poll (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161697.msg3466356#msg3466356)
Romney up by 2 in Virginia (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161501.msg3462634#msg3462634)
Romney ahead in New Hampshire and Florida (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161492.msg3462530#msg3462530)
Dean Heller leads by 8 in Nevada (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161339.msg3460307#msg3460307)
Richard Tisei ahead by 7 in internal poll in MA-6 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=160301.msg3441494#msg3441494)
Christie leads Booker by 7 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=158678.msg3411723#msg3411723)
Romney ahead by 10 in Missouri (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=158016.msg3396509#msg3396509)
Romney leads by 1 nationally (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=156152.msg3357621#msg3357621)
"Great news"
Brian Bilbray leads in CA-52 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=162212.msg3474986#msg3474986)
Romney leads by 1 in Iowa (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=162101.msg3473014#msg3473014)
Republican ahead in IL-10 internal poll (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161917.msg3470029#msg3470029)
PPP about to release negative numbers for Obama (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=149559.msg3466634#msg3466634)
Romney has significant lead in rural counties (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161808.msg3468123#msg3468123)
Romney up 4 in national poll (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161783.msg3467867#msg3467867)
Romney ahead by 3.8 in Missouri (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161701.msg3466383#msg3466383)
Todd Akin ahead by 4.2 in Missouri (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161699.msg3466379#msg3466379)
Romney up by 3 in Nevada (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161515.msg3462941#msg3462941)
Romney ahead by 7 in Florida (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161445.msg3461157#msg3461157)
Rehberg ahead by 3 in Montana (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161405.msg3460903#msg3460903)
Allen ahead by 4.75 in Virginia (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161354.msg3460406#msg3460406)
Romney ahead by 9 in North Carolina (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161125.msg3457164#msg3457164)
Romney up 1 in Ohio (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161124.msg3457162#msg3457162)
Duffy leads by 11 in internal poll in WI-7 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161042.msg3455648#msg3455648)
Republicans ahead in NV-3 and NV-4 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=160999.msg3454605#msg3454605)
Rothfus ahead by 2 in PA-12 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=160935.msg3453004#msg3453004)
Republicans ahead in IL-12, IL-13 and IL-17 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=160895.msg3452311#msg3452311)
Dean Heller leads by 6 in Nevada (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=160222.msg3440131#msg3440131)
Romney leads in Colorado by 2 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=159443.msg3427196#msg3427196)
Romney leads by 1 in Florida (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=159431.msg3427152#msg3427152)
Romney leads by 5 in Virginia (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=159035.msg3419394#msg3419394)
Obama ahead by only 2 in national poll (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=158962.msg3418264#msg3418264)
Romney ahead by 10 in national poll (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=158955.msg3418035#msg3418035)
Pat McCrory ahead by 16 in North Carolina (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUMindex.php?topic=158815.msg3415198#msg3415198)
Schilling ahead by 13 in IL-17 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=157804.msg3392527#msg3392527)
Zogby says it's a tied race nationally (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=157411.msg3384146#msg3384146)
Romney ahead by 2 in Iowa (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=157226.msg3379915#msg3379915)
Obama ahead by only 3 in Pennsylvania (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=156622.msg3367052#msg3367052)
Romney tied in 12 swing states (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=156172.msg3358147#msg3358147)
Obama leads by 6 in Wisconsin, but in a PPP poll (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=155882.msg3351767#msg3351767)
Republican down by only 2 in OH-16 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=155595.msg3397120#msg3397120)
Romney ahead by 8 in swing states (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=155543.msg3344368#msg3344368)
Romney ahead by 5 in Virginia (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=155267.msg3337291#msg3337291)
Obama leads by 4 in Florida, but in a PPP poll (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=154527.msg3319248#msg3319248)
"Absolutely great news"
Tommy Thompson leads by 1 in Wisconsin (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161903.msg3469818#msg3469818)
"Excellent news"
Romney leads by 4 in Pennsylvania (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=162017.msg3471733#msg3471733)
Linda McMahon leads by 3 in Connecticut (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=158298.msg3402147#msg3402147)
Gerlach ahead by 24 in PA-6 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=158261.msg3401447#msg3401447)
Dean Heller up by 5 in Nevada (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=157992.msg3396351#msg3396351)
Tied race in IL-10 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=157585.msg3387912#msg3387912)
Massachusetts Senate race tied (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=155277.msg3338619#msg3338619)
"Splendid news"
Romney leads by 4 in North Carolina (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=158554.msg3408745#msg3408745)
Dean Heller leads by 2 in Nevada (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=158326.msg3402647#msg3402647)
Romney pulls ahead in national poll (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=158231.msg3401116#msg3401116)
Tied race in Ohio (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=158194.msg3399911#msg3399911)
"Fabulous news"
Romney up 4 in national poll (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161732.msg3466763#msg3466763)
"Absolutely fabulous news"
Romney ahead by 3 in Ohio (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=158680.msg3411736#msg3411736)
"Glorious news"
Romney ahead in RCP tracker (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161139.msg3457440#msg3457440)
Romney leads by 6 in national poll (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=140899.msg3469773#msg3469773)
"Solid news"
Romney ahead by 1 in national poll (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161704.msg3466479#msg3466479)
Romney ahead by 3 in national poll (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161388.msg3460740#msg3460740)
"Interesting news"
Jonathan Paton ahead by 5 in AZ-1 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161051.msg3455828#msg3455828)
"Not too shabby"
Tom Smith only down by 2 in Pennsylvania (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161709.msg3466514#msg3466514)
Obama leads by only 1 in Nevada (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161224.msg3458742#msg3458742)
Obama leads by only 6 in Connecticut (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161144.msg3457443#msg3457443)
Romney and Obama tied in Ohio (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=162283.msg3476515#msg3476515)
Romney leads by 1 in New Hampshire (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=162091.msg3472945#msg3472945)
Romney leads by 3 in Virginia (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=162079.msg3472787#msg3472787)
Republicans overperforming in Ohio early voting (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=162016.msg3471724#msg3471724)
Allen West and Romney leading in FL-18 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=162015.msg3471710#msg3471710)
Tied race in FL-22 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161995.msg3471272#msg3471272)
Dean Heller leads by 6 in Nevada (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161979.msg3471031#msg3471031)
Dean Heller leads by 7 in Nevada (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161976.msg3471018#msg3471018)
Richard Mourdock ahead by 5 in Indiana (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161721.msg3466605#msg3466605)
Romney ahead by 1 in Virginia and tied in Iowa (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161703.msg3466414#msg3466414)
Romney ahead by 3 in national poll (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161697.msg3466356#msg3466356)
Romney up by 2 in Virginia (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161501.msg3462634#msg3462634)
Romney ahead in New Hampshire and Florida (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161492.msg3462530#msg3462530)
Dean Heller leads by 8 in Nevada (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161339.msg3460307#msg3460307)
Richard Tisei ahead by 7 in internal poll in MA-6 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=160301.msg3441494#msg3441494)
Christie leads Booker by 7 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=158678.msg3411723#msg3411723)
Romney ahead by 10 in Missouri (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=158016.msg3396509#msg3396509)
Romney leads by 1 nationally (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=156152.msg3357621#msg3357621)
"Great news"
Brian Bilbray leads in CA-52 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=162212.msg3474986#msg3474986)
Romney leads by 1 in Iowa (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=162101.msg3473014#msg3473014)
Republican ahead in IL-10 internal poll (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161917.msg3470029#msg3470029)
PPP about to release negative numbers for Obama (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=149559.msg3466634#msg3466634)
Romney has significant lead in rural counties (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161808.msg3468123#msg3468123)
Romney up 4 in national poll (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161783.msg3467867#msg3467867)
Romney ahead by 3.8 in Missouri (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161701.msg3466383#msg3466383)
Todd Akin ahead by 4.2 in Missouri (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161699.msg3466379#msg3466379)
Romney up by 3 in Nevada (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161515.msg3462941#msg3462941)
Romney ahead by 7 in Florida (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161445.msg3461157#msg3461157)
Rehberg ahead by 3 in Montana (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161405.msg3460903#msg3460903)
Allen ahead by 4.75 in Virginia (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161354.msg3460406#msg3460406)
Romney ahead by 9 in North Carolina (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161125.msg3457164#msg3457164)
Romney up 1 in Ohio (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161124.msg3457162#msg3457162)
Duffy leads by 11 in internal poll in WI-7 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161042.msg3455648#msg3455648)
Republicans ahead in NV-3 and NV-4 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=160999.msg3454605#msg3454605)
Rothfus ahead by 2 in PA-12 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=160935.msg3453004#msg3453004)
Republicans ahead in IL-12, IL-13 and IL-17 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=160895.msg3452311#msg3452311)
Dean Heller leads by 6 in Nevada (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=160222.msg3440131#msg3440131)
Romney leads in Colorado by 2 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=159443.msg3427196#msg3427196)
Romney leads by 1 in Florida (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=159431.msg3427152#msg3427152)
Romney leads by 5 in Virginia (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=159035.msg3419394#msg3419394)
Obama ahead by only 2 in national poll (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=158962.msg3418264#msg3418264)
Romney ahead by 10 in national poll (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=158955.msg3418035#msg3418035)
Pat McCrory ahead by 16 in North Carolina (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUMindex.php?topic=158815.msg3415198#msg3415198)
Schilling ahead by 13 in IL-17 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=157804.msg3392527#msg3392527)
Zogby says it's a tied race nationally (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=157411.msg3384146#msg3384146)
Romney ahead by 2 in Iowa (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=157226.msg3379915#msg3379915)
Obama ahead by only 3 in Pennsylvania (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=156622.msg3367052#msg3367052)
Romney tied in 12 swing states (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=156172.msg3358147#msg3358147)
Obama leads by 6 in Wisconsin, but in a PPP poll (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=155882.msg3351767#msg3351767)
Republican down by only 2 in OH-16 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=155595.msg3397120#msg3397120)
Romney ahead by 8 in swing states (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=155543.msg3344368#msg3344368)
Romney ahead by 5 in Virginia (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=155267.msg3337291#msg3337291)
Obama leads by 4 in Florida, but in a PPP poll (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=154527.msg3319248#msg3319248)
"Absolutely great news"
Tommy Thompson leads by 1 in Wisconsin (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161903.msg3469818#msg3469818)
"Excellent news"
Romney leads by 4 in Pennsylvania (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=162017.msg3471733#msg3471733)
Linda McMahon leads by 3 in Connecticut (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=158298.msg3402147#msg3402147)
Gerlach ahead by 24 in PA-6 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=158261.msg3401447#msg3401447)
Dean Heller up by 5 in Nevada (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=157992.msg3396351#msg3396351)
Tied race in IL-10 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=157585.msg3387912#msg3387912)
Massachusetts Senate race tied (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=155277.msg3338619#msg3338619)
"Splendid news"
Romney leads by 4 in North Carolina (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=158554.msg3408745#msg3408745)
Dean Heller leads by 2 in Nevada (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=158326.msg3402647#msg3402647)
Romney pulls ahead in national poll (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=158231.msg3401116#msg3401116)
Tied race in Ohio (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=158194.msg3399911#msg3399911)
"Fabulous news"
Romney up 4 in national poll (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161732.msg3466763#msg3466763)
"Absolutely fabulous news"
Romney ahead by 3 in Ohio (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=158680.msg3411736#msg3411736)
"Glorious news"
Romney ahead in RCP tracker (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161139.msg3457440#msg3457440)
Romney leads by 6 in national poll (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=140899.msg3469773#msg3469773)
"Solid news"
Romney ahead by 1 in national poll (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161704.msg3466479#msg3466479)
Romney ahead by 3 in national poll (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161388.msg3460740#msg3460740)
"Interesting news"
Jonathan Paton ahead by 5 in AZ-1 (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161051.msg3455828#msg3455828)
"Not too shabby"
Tom Smith only down by 2 in Pennsylvania (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161709.msg3466514#msg3466514)
Obama leads by only 1 in Nevada (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161224.msg3458742#msg3458742)
Obama leads by only 6 in Connecticut (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=161144.msg3457443#msg3457443)
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Platypus on October 22, 2012, 07:38:26 PM
1/74 is Interesting news. About right.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Lief 🗽 on October 22, 2012, 07:54:25 PM
Recent polls showing Obama losing in Maine CD-2, Pennsylvania, Minnesota and in serious trouble in Oregon, Georgia and Michigan
If Obama wins tonight, he can turn the tide
If he makes a draw, he can stop the bleeding but still lose badly in two weeks
If he wins, suddenly Arizona is in play
If Obama wins tonight, he can turn the tide
If he makes a draw, he can stop the bleeding but still lose badly in two weeks
If he wins, suddenly Arizona is in play
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: RI on October 22, 2012, 08:57:27 PM
"All the world's worst actors?"
()
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on October 23, 2012, 12:08:05 AM
This seems strangely arcane, like USSR-watching.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Napoleon on October 23, 2012, 12:09:49 AM
Your pretty much me :)
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Uncle Joe on October 23, 2012, 12:59:53 PM
This thread is horrible compared to the M.A.N. Institute.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Lief 🗽 on October 23, 2012, 09:22:34 PM
This guy is rapidly becoming my new favorite poster:
Obama is currently below 55%.
This was explained already in another thread.
You don't understand. Someone is selling Obama. His numbers are dropping faster than Romney's are gaining.
You seem like a man who knows what he's talking about. So come straight with me - is there ANY chance Obama wins this election? Or should I just give up?
Intrade's not looking great tonight, probably because of today's polls.
Obama is currently below 55%.
This was explained already in another thread.
You don't understand. Someone is selling Obama. His numbers are dropping faster than Romney's are gaining.
You seem like a man who knows what he's talking about. So come straight with me - is there ANY chance Obama wins this election? Or should I just give up?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on October 23, 2012, 09:49:19 PM
He'd still be President for three and a half months. I know you would need that much time to plan a move, but not everybody does.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: King on October 23, 2012, 09:49:51 PM
I know the election is a very, very tight race and could go either way very easily. Do you think, though, that Barack and Michelle have a few things in boxes just in case they have to move out, or are they so confident they don't have anything packed, yet? If they lose re-election on November 6, they will have 74 days until they have to be out. Of course, if they win, they can unpack and put all the boxes back in the closet for 4 years.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: © tweed on October 23, 2012, 09:53:43 PM
He'd still be President for three and a half months. I know you would need that much time to plan a move, but not everybody does.
these two from that thread are better.
Do you really spend time thinking about stuff like this?
Hilarious that this thread was literally asking the title question.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Keystone Phil on October 23, 2012, 10:17:33 PM
This thread is horrible compared to the M.A.N. Institute.
Those that wandered those hallowed halls are still weeping...
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Joe Republic on October 23, 2012, 10:18:53 PM
This is sick and unnecessary. Is there anyone in Missouri who hasn't heard this already?
Can't people go through their mail in peace without some disturbing auditory assault?
Can't people go through their mail in peace without some disturbing auditory assault?
From what I understand from doctors, if the message is something which people legitimately don't want to hear, the human body has ways of shutting that whole thing down.
I'll get my coat
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on October 23, 2012, 10:49:36 PM
I wish he would tell us what bad news is.
The actual result.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Lief 🗽 on October 24, 2012, 12:15:48 AM
Bushie discovers presidential polls.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian. on October 24, 2012, 05:35:56 PM
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Goldwater on October 24, 2012, 06:22:58 PM
I think the Liberals losing the Northeast Senate seat to TPP is also worth mentioning. :P
And by "losing" do you mean handing the seat to them a silver platter? :P
()
While the Liberal Party did hand Nix the Northeast Senate seat on a platter, it was merely gilded with silver.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Mr. Morden on October 25, 2012, 12:41:57 AM
In response to Naso's take on the presidential campaign:
Can we get a list of every member of your family tree and their takes on the state of the race?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Kaine for Senate '18 on October 25, 2012, 02:35:25 PM
I don't know about rape-induced pregnancies, but these types of comments from Republican politicians are most certainly a gift from God.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Queen Mum Inks.LWC on October 25, 2012, 02:39:25 PM
I support Clause 1 of Section 1 because I think it's important to have in writing that Enlgish is not the offical language of the Mideast.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck on October 25, 2012, 02:49:50 PM
Bro, we can't let Sarah Palin win! Forward(TM) with BrObama! Forward(TM) with Simpson-Bowles! Most pwogwessive pwesident ever!!! Wants bros to marry each other!
Good Lord you're insufferable.
What's insufferable is the usual women-bashing and/or vapid memes being trotted out, the opportunity cost of which is discussing the austerity BrObama will inflict during his second imperial term. Had them figured out five years ago: Just as right-wing on punishing the poorest 99+% supposedly to balance a meaningless accounting identity (which isn't the intention anyway, just to redistribute wealth upward) but deriving their libewal/pwogwessive cred by assuming "culturally" transgressive affectations. Romney would be an all-too-obvious villain for handing Social Security to the banksters, droning civilians into red mist, normalizing/expanding/usurping executive power, retroactively legalizing foreclosure fraud, normalizing (8% nominal / 20% real DISemployment), and approving reckless resource extractions for his bankster bros to speculate on. Better to pick someone who can hide behind identity "politics." And they really hate ambitious women ...
If anyone has any doubt about Obie's second term policy objectives and/or cares about the implementation of austerity, all they need to do is google his Hamilton Project speech from 2006. The guy was handpicked to privatize* SS/Medicare under the pretext of "fiscal prudence" - and his bros [paper towel, Jon Stewart?] are completely in favor of all the imperialism and austerity.
* Privatize, not cut, because like Shrub's/Pinochet's/Ray-gun's approach, it's about "shock-and-awe" responses in the face of ["]crisis["] - "fiscal cliff" included.
Just the bolded, green part. I didn't read the rest of it, just that he called Obama's 2nd term "imperial" had me cracking up.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: SUSAN CRUSHBONE on October 25, 2012, 02:52:53 PM
Bro, we can't let Sarah Palin win! Forward(TM) with BrObama! Forward(TM) with Simpson-Bowles! Most pwogwessive pwesident ever!!! Wants bros to marry each other!
Good Lord you're insufferable.
What's insufferable is the usual women-bashing and/or vapid memes being trotted out, the opportunity cost of which is discussing the austerity BrObama will inflict during his second imperial term. Had them figured out five years ago: Just as right-wing on punishing the poorest 99+% supposedly to balance a meaningless accounting identity (which isn't the intention anyway, just to redistribute wealth upward) but deriving their libewal/pwogwessive cred by assuming "culturally" transgressive affectations. Romney would be an all-too-obvious villain for handing Social Security to the banksters, droning civilians into red mist, normalizing/expanding/usurping executive power, retroactively legalizing foreclosure fraud, normalizing (8% nominal / 20% real DISemployment), and approving reckless resource extractions for his bankster bros to speculate on. Better to pick someone who can hide behind identity "politics." And they really hate ambitious women ...
If anyone has any doubt about Obie's second term policy objectives and/or cares about the implementation of austerity, all they need to do is google his Hamilton Project speech from 2006. The guy was handpicked to privatize* SS/Medicare under the pretext of "fiscal prudence" - and his bros [paper towel, Jon Stewart?] are completely in favor of all the imperialism and austerity.
* Privatize, not cut, because like Shrub's/Pinochet's/Ray-gun's approach, it's about "shock-and-awe" responses in the face of ["]crisis["] - "fiscal cliff" included.
Just the bolded, green part. I didn't read the rest of it, just that he called Obama's 2nd term "imperial" had me cracking up.
Guy is like a Bandit3 on steroids... I didn't think it was possible.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oakvale on October 25, 2012, 03:20:15 PM
Comment on a Deluge post; click for context:
I don't think this guy actually knows what a bro is. Clearly he doesn't attend UMass.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on October 25, 2012, 04:00:33 PM
In the wee hours of the night, I sometimes wonder if it would be better to re-restrict the vote to white males....
I am both amused and a little disturbed. :P
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 25, 2012, 07:51:21 PM
Context:
For some reason, I seem to agree with him almost all the time. FF.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 25, 2012, 07:52:52 PM
Scott, I've got a challenge for ye
When Omegle, everytime you see a weiner or someone asking to see your tits, take a shot. Tell us how long it is before you're absolutely wasted.
When Omegle, everytime you see a weiner
:D
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oakvale on October 25, 2012, 08:51:28 PM
No
()
Somewhat inappropriately the user of this dog-vuvuzela is black, perhaps he is the two or three Black republicans left.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on October 25, 2012, 09:31:53 PM
Nice come back. Next time I'll type slower for you.
Yes please! Ideally it should take at least a week or two for you to produce each of your posts.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Marokai Backbeat on October 26, 2012, 12:24:29 AM
()
NO IT'S NOT
IT'S NOT POSSIBLE FOR THE TOTAL DEMOCRATIC MARGIN TO HAVE GONE UP YESTERDAY IF MORE REPUBLICANS THAN DEMOCRATS VOTED YESTERDAY
THAT IS NOT HOW MATH WORKS
NO IT'S NOT
IT'S NOT POSSIBLE FOR THE TOTAL DEMOCRATIC MARGIN TO HAVE GONE UP YESTERDAY IF MORE REPUBLICANS THAN DEMOCRATS VOTED YESTERDAY
THAT IS NOT HOW MATH WORKS
I really encourage everyone to read the Lief-J.J. back and forth. It was utterly hilarious to watch Lief's desperate pleas for J.J. to understand what he was talking about slowly deteriorate and really brightened my day. :P
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on October 26, 2012, 01:32:57 AM
()
NO IT'S NOT
IT'S NOT POSSIBLE FOR THE TOTAL DEMOCRATIC MARGIN TO HAVE GONE UP YESTERDAY IF MORE REPUBLICANS THAN DEMOCRATS VOTED YESTERDAY
THAT IS NOT HOW MATH WORKS
NO IT'S NOT
IT'S NOT POSSIBLE FOR THE TOTAL DEMOCRATIC MARGIN TO HAVE GONE UP YESTERDAY IF MORE REPUBLICANS THAN DEMOCRATS VOTED YESTERDAY
THAT IS NOT HOW MATH WORKS
I really encourage everyone to read the Lief-J.J. back and forth. It was utterly hilarious to watch Lief's desperate pleas for J.J. to understand what he was talking about slowly deteriorate and really brightened my day. :P
So basically this is Mr. MENSA's argument: That day the total percentage of all voters who were Democrats who had already voted decreased. Therefore more Republicans must've voted on that day. The percentage is the only thing that matters.
So if you start out with 90 Democrats voting and 10 Republicans, and then the next day the numbers become 200 Democrats and 50 Republicans, that means more Republicans voted on that day. I can't figure that out, but I guess that just means my puny non-MENSA mind is just too stupid to comprehend it.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 26, 2012, 03:52:21 PM
Option 2 if I could vote.
Still on parole? Hang in there.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 26, 2012, 03:57:58 PM
If your relying on g**gle news, 'your a day late and dollar short'.
A day late
a buck short
I'm writing
the report
On losing
and failing
when I move
I'm flailing now
My apologies
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Northeast Rep Snowball on October 26, 2012, 03:59:59 PM
Nice
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: opebo on October 26, 2012, 06:04:41 PM
Not unlike the state-by-state battles in the Civil War, Ohio is very torn right now whether or not they believe the slaves should be free, or if Dixie must rise again. But they're slowly starting to come around to those of us living in 2012.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Lief 🗽 on October 26, 2012, 08:40:57 PM
This post is art:
This is a new phenomenon that is being floated around by experts.
We all know what coatails are. For example, Obama coattails in Connecticut might propel Murphy to victory. Or Romney coattails in North Dakota might propel Berg to victory.
But how about mega coattails? The theory is that there is a such a huge margin in a state that it actually leaks over into neighboring states
For example, Romney is going to win Utah by so much that it harms Obama in Nevada and Colorado.
They say mega coattails from Illinois is what gave Obama Indiana in 2008.
Should Obama campaign in Salt Lake City? Obviously he won't win the state but if he can get the margin down in Utah, there will just be coattails in Utah and not mega coattails
We all know what coatails are. For example, Obama coattails in Connecticut might propel Murphy to victory. Or Romney coattails in North Dakota might propel Berg to victory.
But how about mega coattails? The theory is that there is a such a huge margin in a state that it actually leaks over into neighboring states
For example, Romney is going to win Utah by so much that it harms Obama in Nevada and Colorado.
They say mega coattails from Illinois is what gave Obama Indiana in 2008.
Should Obama campaign in Salt Lake City? Obviously he won't win the state but if he can get the margin down in Utah, there will just be coattails in Utah and not mega coattails
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on October 26, 2012, 09:24:38 PM
LOL
LOL
LOL
I can see it now:
"Although Obama won a majority of voters within Colorado, Mitt Romney recieved so many votes in neighboring Utah that state officials were forced to stack these Republican returns into a literal mountain of ballots towering three miles high. This spire of election forms toppled due to an unexpectedly strong wind from the west, causing an estimated 80,000 ballots cross the state line into Colorado where they were recovered by that state's election officials; due to a little-known technicality in Federal law these votes are required to be counted as votes in the recieving state, so the AP hereby calls Colorado for Republican candidate Mitt Romney. In related news, the AP also calls Orrin Hatch as the unanimous victor in the race for Colorado's new Class I Senate seat.
LOL
LOL
I can see it now:
"Although Obama won a majority of voters within Colorado, Mitt Romney recieved so many votes in neighboring Utah that state officials were forced to stack these Republican returns into a literal mountain of ballots towering three miles high. This spire of election forms toppled due to an unexpectedly strong wind from the west, causing an estimated 80,000 ballots cross the state line into Colorado where they were recovered by that state's election officials; due to a little-known technicality in Federal law these votes are required to be counted as votes in the recieving state, so the AP hereby calls Colorado for Republican candidate Mitt Romney. In related news, the AP also calls Orrin Hatch as the unanimous victor in the race for Colorado's new Class I Senate seat.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on October 26, 2012, 09:38:44 PM
I was just going to post this...
The last sentence is absolutely hilarious.
The last sentence is absolutely hilarious.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on October 26, 2012, 09:51:48 PM
Darn, I need to fix the sign again...
0
Days since racist post
on Atlast 2012 forum
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on October 27, 2012, 01:33:47 AM
a) I doubt you meant that for me...
b) this was before the GOP lurched into a psychiatric ward and had a brilliant record on Civil Rights.
b) this was before the GOP lurched into a psychiatric ward and had a brilliant record on Civil Rights.
Okay, what their recent terrible record?
()
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 27, 2012, 08:27:37 AM
LOL
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: courts on October 27, 2012, 04:43:24 PM
What is a Torie-like voter? Someone who thinks dehumanization is a fair trade for tax cut?
Well that definition might need some work. Thanks.
Seems accurate :(
Is that what voters sort of like me who voted for Obama last time, but not this time, think? Interesting! I didn't "know" that about myself before.
Romney is much more handsome than McCain. And his running mate is a well-aged twink, not some dumb woman.
I know you like to think you're mysterious, but you're pretty easy to figure out.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on October 27, 2012, 09:19:40 PM
Jesus! Leave! Leave now! It's too late for us but you can still save yourself!
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Bacon King on October 28, 2012, 12:23:19 AM
The one who doesn't need Atlasia because he's actually a state assemblyman.
I've heard of this poster before. Who is he?
thost (http://www.arkansashouse.org/member/236/uvalde-lindsey)
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Phony Moderate on October 28, 2012, 08:03:30 AM
I hope to report turnout around 3:00 PM.
Oh dear, I can already guess what that turnout report is going to be like...
I'm hoping for something like his hourly turnout reports from last time:
Light orderly lines at my polling station at 7:05 AM.
8:00 AM no line. Maybe one voter going in.
9:10 AM, no line, one voter walked in. PA 11th Ward, two polling stations.
I had to have missed something. No line at 10:10 AM. I cannot believe turnout is really that much down.
This is not necessarily indicative. I drove past four precincts to get lunch. The only line I saw was that KFC. In three of the four precincts, there were no voters coming or going; the fourth has a couple leaving. This was at about 11:30 AM to noon.
There could have been a lot of early voters.
The Chinatown precinct, previously mentioned, is the largest in the city. Temple University is the only other one with moderately high numbers.
At 12:15 PM we had rain.
There could have been a lot of early voters.
The Chinatown precinct, previously mentioned, is the largest in the city. Temple University is the only other one with moderately high numbers.
At 12:15 PM we had rain.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: minionofmidas on October 28, 2012, 08:07:07 AM
Come on buddy, put it in the Goldmine..... please?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: SUSAN CRUSHBONE on October 28, 2012, 04:21:02 PM
Context
Aw, darn. Not graduating must've SUCKED. ;)
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Lief 🗽 on October 28, 2012, 04:29:10 PM
That remark about Richard Nixon, well that's appropriate considering they endorsed Barack Obama in '08, or I forgot it was cool for them to endorse Obama, but since you opened up that can of worms, yeah Nixon got nailed over Watergate, well then how do you explain Obama's behavior over Benghazi, the stone-walling that is occurring is truly epic on a Nixonesque scale; shouldn't have brought up Nixon, now it's time to draw comparisons between the lies that Obama is spinning over Benghazi, where his behavior needlessly cost the lives of 4 American; I don't recall Watergate "cost" any lives, and please don't bother making comparisons to Vietnam or Iraq, they were wars and there is going to be the sad but inevitable loss of lives; Benghazi was not a war zone, but became one, because of Obama's criminal inaction and the subsequent lying, reached truly Watergate proportions.
That is one sentence.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 28, 2012, 04:36:50 PM
LOL
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Kitteh on October 28, 2012, 05:11:05 PM
That remark about Richard Nixon, well that's appropriate considering they endorsed Barack Obama in '08, or I forgot it was cool for them to endorse Obama, but since you opened up that can of worms, yeah Nixon got nailed over Watergate, well then how do you explain Obama's behavior over Benghazi, the stone-walling that is occurring is truly epic on a Nixonesque scale; shouldn't have brought up Nixon, now it's time to draw comparisons between the lies that Obama is spinning over Benghazi, where his behavior needlessly cost the lives of 4 American; I don't recall Watergate "cost" any lives, and please don't bother making comparisons to Vietnam or Iraq, they were wars and there is going to be the sad but inevitable loss of lives; Benghazi was not a war zone, but became one, because of Obama's criminal inaction and the subsequent lying, reached truly Watergate proportions.
That is one sentence.
()
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on October 29, 2012, 02:14:42 AM
Well, you wouldn't say "That's so black!" now, would you?
You're so Korean!
That is the most Arab thing I've ever heard in my entire life...
It's Greek to me.
What a white thread.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: courts on October 29, 2012, 09:10:38 AM
Well, it was reported that little Annie and little Mitt were playing doctor a few days before the wedding. They got into his dorm room and Annie said, “Oh, Doctor Mitt Romney, I have a strange feeling between my legs. You better take a look!” Romney immediately replied, “Sure, not a problem. I will, however, need you to put up a $5,000 cash deposit before any course of treatment commences. Since you came to my office already complaining of this malady, that’s a pre-existing condition, which, as you know, is not covered by insurance. So, I think by having a little ‘skin in the game,’ so to speak, you’ll be more motivated to participate in the limited treatment options available, such as prayer. Now, Annie, if you’ll first just sign this waiver…”
Needless to say, Annie and Mittens stayed virgins a while longer.
Needless to say, Annie and Mittens stayed virgins a while longer.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Speed of Sound on October 29, 2012, 04:03:04 PM
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: k-onmmunist on October 29, 2012, 04:55:50 PM
I bet many folks do. People who live in mobile homes with plastic pink flamingo statues on the bookshelves that are otherwise populated by the Oprah Book Club selections. When they're not watching America's Funniest Home Videos or watching documentaries on Sasquatch or playing with the Ouija Board, they might like to discuss whether Mitt Romney was a virgin on his wedding night.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Napoleon on October 30, 2012, 09:05:06 AM
7 wins, 3 losses
So how are you counting controversial ones like 2000 and 1876? :)
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on October 30, 2012, 05:21:57 PM
7 wins, 3 losses
So how are you counting controversial ones like 2000 and 1876? :)
LOL
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Lief 🗽 on October 30, 2012, 06:47:28 PM
Kaine pulling ahead is largely in part thanks to Manchin and the mega coattails he is producing next door in West Virginia
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on October 30, 2012, 09:48:25 PM
Kaine pulling ahead is largely in part thanks to Manchin and the mega coattails he is producing next door in West Virginia
This guy is awesome.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Lief 🗽 on October 31, 2012, 12:25:29 AM
Sage advice for some of our younger forumers who may be new to the internet:
One of the basic rules of the internet is to judge a person based on their sig. Since your sig is stupid and wrong, that means you as a person are stupid and wrong.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Joe Republic on October 31, 2012, 05:44:50 AM
that's like assuming everytime there's a shooting it's a tea partier and then reality sets in and they are really just a nut job and resemble more of an OWS type like Aurora CO or Gifford's shooter or in Ft campbell's case an actual TERRORIST.
WTF are you even talking about? Why are you so stupid and fat?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: afleitch on October 31, 2012, 08:47:27 AM
In Western Pa, Tom Smith is running ads touting his history as a minor. Casey is countering with ads saying his grandfather was a minor, but more interestingly he goes out of his way to say he opposed Obama on trade issues.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on October 31, 2012, 07:09:44 PM
doesn't say which campaign. I bet it is a house race
Maybe Baldwin slept with a man.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oakvale on November 01, 2012, 12:18:13 PM
Lmao, nothing Romney does seize to amaze me now. He is truly the phoniest politician I have ever seen.
* cease.
Go back to english class.
Tough talk from a West Virginian.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on November 01, 2012, 07:30:25 PM
Mister Twister is still on a roll.
23% election day vote according to the internals. The rest are claiming they either have voted already (43% vs. 37% actual through 10/30) or that they will before Election Day (33%).
Don't doubt Obama wins NV or even that a 4% margin is unreasonable.
I do know that the Obama Early Vote edge is roughly between 25,000 and 35,000 right now if you look at the SoS numbers and rake them based on polling data. A 7% Romney undecided edge would likely have it inside 30K. That's with a three days left in Early voting, IIRC.
I am not quite sure what the magic early vote banked number is for the Obama camp. But I don't think 30K or even 40K is a comfortable margin.
Bottom line is that Nevada won't be a cakewalk for either candidate. And who wins will come down to Election Day turnout.
Dude, seriously? Nevada is gone for the GOP
I don't know how you can say a state that's within 4% is "gone" at this point. If it were "gone," Paul Ryan wouldn't be making a campaign stop in Reno today and Barack Obama would not be campaigning in Nevada as well.
It's leaning Obama, yes. I am not convinced that given the ACTUAL early vote data that it's a slam dunk and nailed down yet. Huge difference.
Dude, seriously?
Add it to the pile of good news!
Don't doubt Obama wins NV or even that a 4% margin is unreasonable.
I do know that the Obama Early Vote edge is roughly between 25,000 and 35,000 right now if you look at the SoS numbers and rake them based on polling data. A 7% Romney undecided edge would likely have it inside 30K. That's with a three days left in Early voting, IIRC.
I am not quite sure what the magic early vote banked number is for the Obama camp. But I don't think 30K or even 40K is a comfortable margin.
Bottom line is that Nevada won't be a cakewalk for either candidate. And who wins will come down to Election Day turnout.
Dude, seriously? Nevada is gone for the GOP
It's leaning Obama, yes. I am not convinced that given the ACTUAL early vote data that it's a slam dunk and nailed down yet. Huge difference.
Dude, seriously?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on November 01, 2012, 09:37:34 PM
In which noted climatologist J.J. argues that Hurricane Sandy was just a run of the mill nor'easter:
If he had made it about Israel, possibly, it would help in FL. It was about global warming.
Moderates in NOVA and Denver, only big environmentalists, and Obama has their vote already.
Educated suburban moderates almost universally accept climate change. I'm surprised Obama hasn't campaigned on it at all in VA and CO. It is an opportunity to make Romney look anti-science to people who might otherwise be R on fiscal issues.
And, if they are educated, they would realize that a nor'easter is not uncommon.
What you are missing is that Bloomberg will help in South Florida, and likely with the suburban moderates in NOVA and Denver as well.
If he had made it about Israel, possibly, it would help in FL. It was about global warming.
Moderates in NOVA and Denver, only big environmentalists, and Obama has their vote already.
Educated suburban moderates almost universally accept climate change. I'm surprised Obama hasn't campaigned on it at all in VA and CO. It is an opportunity to make Romney look anti-science to people who might otherwise be R on fiscal issues.
And, if they are educated, they would realize that a nor'easter is not uncommon.
Being without power for 3 days from that common Noreaster caused me to miss the rest of Professor J.J.'s lecture on Advanced infantry tactics to retake a consulate compound. Do you think they have a recording of the lecture at the lab? I hear it was co-lectured with the modern day Hannibal, Professor Cliffy...
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: courts on November 02, 2012, 12:37:41 AM
Free market- and allow more Americans access to hazardous substances? I'm as much of a economic liberal as the next guy, but there's a point where the common good and moral imperatives kick in.
Marijuana is less harmful than alcohol, cigarettes, McDonald's and Coca-Cola.
Well that's not true at all. (http://www.acde.org/common/Marijana.htm)
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Lief 🗽 on November 02, 2012, 01:38:21 AM
"Oh my God, I love your strategy! Where'd you get it?"
"It was McCain's, in '08."
"Vintage, so adorable"
"It was McCain's, in '08."
"Vintage, so adorable"
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on November 02, 2012, 01:39:55 AM
If there's any truth to it, I guess the unions won't back him, since he's underpaying contracted labour...
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Serenity Now on November 02, 2012, 09:05:43 AM
I do not like Mormons they masscure innocent people & they scare me.
What everybody opinion on Eugene Debs?.
He was a stupid Socialist & I hate him.
He was a stupid Socialist & I hate him.
I think we'll be getting some funny material (most of it is something else..) from this guy before he gets banned..
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: afleitch on November 02, 2012, 09:35:22 AM
Saying Obama's presidency has not been a disaster has marked you as one of the dumbest posters on her
OBama leads only because he, (with the supprt of the MSM) has convinced the sheep of the country that rich and successful is a bad thing.
OBama leads only because he, (with the supprt of the MSM) has convinced the sheep of the country that rich and successful is a bad thing.
The new typo king
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Simfan34 on November 02, 2012, 10:13:02 AM
In all seriousness I'm not sure where I would put that comma.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Torie on November 02, 2012, 11:16:17 AM
In all seriousness I'm not sure where I would put that comma.
because he, with the support of the MSM, ...
Hope that helps. The parens are just not appropriate here. And one does not put a comma before parens! :)
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on November 02, 2012, 03:25:59 PM
I was polled several times during the primary, but not once for the general election for some reason. Ever since Gingrich won our primary, no one has cared what us Sandlappers think.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Simfan34 on November 02, 2012, 03:29:32 PM
In all seriousness I'm not sure where I would put that comma.
because he, with the support of the MSM, ...
Hope that helps. The parens are just not appropriate here. And one does not put a comma before parens! :)
Yes, that makes sense!
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on November 02, 2012, 10:18:37 PM
In Western Pa, Tom Smith is running ads touting his history as a minor. Casey is countering with ads saying his grandfather was a minor, but more interestingly he goes out of his way to say he opposed Obama on trade issues.
LOL
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Goldwater on November 03, 2012, 02:00:05 AM
YEAH LET'S GET ON THE ATLAS FORUM LIKE A TOTAL REACTIONARY FUCKTARD AND TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH OF A HERO A RACIST c**ntBASTARD LIKE STROM THURMOND WAS AND THEN ACT ALL TOUGHGUY ASSHOLE ABOUT IT AND SEE WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE WE GET! YEAH HOO!!!!
LET'S ALSO CALL SOME GUY A f****t COS OBVIOUSLY ONLY f****tS DISLIKE DIXIECRATS!
[/PLAYS BANJO]
LET'S ALSO CALL SOME GUY A f****t COS OBVIOUSLY ONLY f****tS DISLIKE DIXIECRATS!
[/PLAYS BANJO]
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on November 03, 2012, 10:17:24 AM
Mecha is and always will be a legend. The legend.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Filuwaúrdjan on November 03, 2012, 01:51:58 PM
I'm not counting Dave Leip. He used to be the only moderator when I first started posting here. There were no "infraction points" or anything like that back then. I'd just get an email message once in a while that said something like, "Please avoid drunken, emotional diatribes. Thank you, Dave Leip" or "Please refrain from linking to pornographic websites. Thank you, Dave Leip."
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on November 03, 2012, 07:45:40 PM
Context:
I personally believe Gov. Engle won all 117% of the vote.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on November 03, 2012, 08:32:05 PM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=163699.msg3496252;boardseen#new
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on November 04, 2012, 06:10:04 PM
I believe in compromise and reconciliation.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Joe Republic on November 04, 2012, 06:10:47 PM
This Is silly
Mathematically don't vote, the People vote
Mathematically don't vote, the People vote
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on November 04, 2012, 09:23:28 PM
Abortion is a barbaric act and our descendants will feel the same way about us as we feel about slaveowners now.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on November 05, 2012, 05:54:23 AM
Retruns from Florida:
Romney: 44%
Obama: 42%
Kucingh: 12%
Reagan: 5%
John: 4%
Returns From Ohio:
Obama: 45%
Romny: 41%
Regan: 12%
John: 10%
Returns from iowa:
John: 78%
Other person: the rest of it
Romney: 44%
Obama: 42%
Kucingh: 12%
Reagan: 5%
John: 4%
Returns From Ohio:
Obama: 45%
Romny: 41%
Regan: 12%
John: 10%
Returns from iowa:
John: 78%
Other person: the rest of it
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Filuwaúrdjan on November 05, 2012, 06:31:53 AM
Abortion is a barbaric act and our descendants will feel the same way about us as we feel about slaveowners now.
He's thirteen, so there you are.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Northeast Rep Snowball on November 05, 2012, 07:36:38 AM
Retruns from Florida:
Romney: 44%
Obama: 42%
Kucingh: 12%
Reagan: 5%
John: 4%
Returns From Ohio:
Obama: 45%
Romny: 41%
Regan: 12%
John: 10%
Returns from iowa:
John: 78%
Other person: the rest of it
Romney: 44%
Obama: 42%
Kucingh: 12%
Reagan: 5%
John: 4%
Returns From Ohio:
Obama: 45%
Romny: 41%
Regan: 12%
John: 10%
Returns from iowa:
John: 78%
Other person: the rest of it
Interesting, 107% turnout in Florida, 108% in Ohio
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on November 05, 2012, 01:43:42 PM
I'm recently noticing a lot of Thais - in fact almost every Thai - stroking glossy 'phones'. What are these? Should I get one?
I have been informed that the monthly fee for a 'something gigabyte' (the Best) is only around $20 here. Many people also recommend a Samhung.. what do you fellows think?
Do any of you have a Smartiephone?
I have been informed that the monthly fee for a 'something gigabyte' (the Best) is only around $20 here. Many people also recommend a Samhung.. what do you fellows think?
Do any of you have a Smartiephone?
opebo's deliberate mispellings never get old. My favorite is still when he was talking about "Facialbook" though.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자) on November 05, 2012, 01:50:44 PM
I was polled several times during the primary, but not once for the general election for some reason. Ever since Gingrich won our primary, no one has cared what us Sandlappers think.
I was trying for some subtle humor in my own post there. Not that bore's reference to the polling average is without merit either. Anyway, here's what I came to the Goldmine to post:
12:00 pm EST - 17 hours until Vermont opens. 24 until all the polls are open. 30 until polls close in Indiana and Kentucky. 36 until all the polls are closed.
Interesting that the margin between Vermont opening, all opening, all closing, etc. always remains the same. What's the party ID?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on November 05, 2012, 05:23:39 PM
Virgin Good is a good man & American but I still voting Romney
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Velasco on November 06, 2012, 08:34:29 AM
Virgin Good is goode, American and... chaste. God bless him.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on November 07, 2012, 01:46:23 AM
I will happily proclaim it each day until election day. We aren't losing. You think we are losing because you happen to be wrong and will be amazed at the size of Romney's victory on Tuesday.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Middle-aged Europe on November 07, 2012, 04:56:44 AM
But I do have some consolation. Firstly my Massachusetts prediction wasn't complete bunk- Obama's margin of victory shrank there.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: GMantis on November 07, 2012, 05:28:06 AM
I will happily proclaim it each day until election day. We aren't losing. You think we are losing because you happen to be wrong and will be amazed at the size of Romney's victory on Tuesday.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: morgieb on November 07, 2012, 05:36:14 AM
Todd Akin got legitimately raped by the voters
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on November 07, 2012, 06:27:33 AM
Todd Akin got legitimately raped by the voters
LOL
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자) on November 08, 2012, 06:57:30 AM
Virgin Good is goode, American and... chaste. God bless him.
He wasn't chaste by many voters. Worst Constitution Party performance since 2000.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: SUSAN CRUSHBONE on November 08, 2012, 10:53:30 AM
Yes, it does speak volumes. Conservatives like me either stayed home or voted for third party.
Really... and, well... apparent.
When will that action be considered self mutilation, a disease in most medical circles?
Wait a minute…, would such a disease be covered under ObamaCare?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on November 08, 2012, 09:48:27 PM
Sean Hannity is absolutely correct.
...That left a bad taste in my mouth.
...That left a bad taste in my mouth.
Why? Did you type it with your mouth?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자) on November 09, 2012, 05:29:42 AM
If Politico had written this it would have gone in the Deluge as he would have been serious, but I'm fairly certain Winfield was just making a joke here:
Obama doesn't want Romney in his cabinet.
He is waiting for Ginsburg to resign so he can appoint Romney to the Supreme Court. Romney does have a law degree as well as an MBA from Harvard after all.
He is waiting for Ginsburg to resign so he can appoint Romney to the Supreme Court. Romney does have a law degree as well as an MBA from Harvard after all.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Simfan34 on November 09, 2012, 11:26:22 PM
Bushie makes The Onion a reality: http://www.theonion.com/articles/dad-suggests-arriving-at-airport-14-hours-early,29662/
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on November 10, 2012, 04:37:33 AM
Yes, it does speak volumes. Conservatives like me either stayed home or voted for third party.
Really... and, well... apparent.
When will that action be considered self mutilation, a disease in most medical circles?
Wait a minute…, would such a disease be covered under ObamaCare?
I LMAO with this one. The mix of t_host random nonsense and genuine wit produces a result which is simply amazing.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Badger on November 10, 2012, 01:32:48 PM
Politico, Ben Kenobi, please stop arguing. You are both right. BOTH of your candidates (Romney, Santorum) are losers that will never be anywhere close to a position of power.
Best after reviewing the thread of BK and Politico sniping at each other as to who was blame for Romney's loss and hwo to approach the next election. In that context, I nearly choked laughing.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: morgieb on November 11, 2012, 06:47:18 PM
Clearly Black Hipster Mormons were swept by Romney's mega coattails in Utah.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on November 11, 2012, 06:53:24 PM
Please don't give me death points for posting this
How about dying in a fire instead?
Yo n.
Shut up.
()
Is there any areas I could hope to run for public office in?. I have alot of good messages and things(which I believe are right) to spread and say!.
How about dying in a fire instead?
Yo n.
Shut up.
()
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on November 11, 2012, 07:54:15 PM
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Chancellor Tanterterg on November 11, 2012, 08:09:22 PM
I came here to post that :P
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on November 11, 2012, 09:32:41 PM
Just. Wow.
You're the true troll. You spend 3 ungodly long movies taking the ring to Mt. Doom and at the end you suddenly decide you want to keep the ring and screw everyone over? Thank God Gollum was there to bite your hand off.
Are you done trolling?
You're the true troll. You spend 3 ungodly long movies taking the ring to Mt. Doom and at the end you suddenly decide you want to keep the ring and screw everyone over? Thank God Gollum was there to bite your hand off.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on November 11, 2012, 09:52:45 PM
Just. Wow.
You're the true troll. You spend 3 ungodly long movies taking the ring to Mt. Doom and at the end you suddenly decide you want to keep the ring and screw everyone over? Thank God Gollum was there to bite your hand off.
Are you done trolling?
You're the true troll. You spend 3 ungodly long movies taking the ring to Mt. Doom and at the end you suddenly decide you want to keep the ring and screw everyone over? Thank God Gollum was there to bite your hand off.
F--KING LOL
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Nhoj on November 11, 2012, 10:44:27 PM
Something like this, I would think.
(
)
(
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on November 12, 2012, 12:06:49 AM
Times like this I'm glad to have Twister on ignore. :)
That's fine because I have your state on ignore
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Lief 🗽 on November 12, 2012, 01:04:36 AM
That's nice but I think it would be less close than that. NV/CO aren't going to some uncle Tomás Cuban.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Uncle Joe on November 12, 2012, 04:05:11 PM
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on November 12, 2012, 05:27:29 PM
Context:
Proving Scott wrong?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Mr. Morden on November 13, 2012, 01:40:13 AM
Welcome to 2004.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Joe Republic on November 13, 2012, 02:43:00 AM
Wow, that pic is a blast from the past! I think it might have been one of the first things I put in my signature after joining the forum.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Uncle Joe on November 13, 2012, 03:08:06 PM
Where's the fun in that though? Couldn't you just enjoy his posts like everybody else?
Well for me, that is the fun.
And you wonder why nobody likes you.
1. People like me.
2. I don't wonder why the people who don't like me don't like me.
I'll admit they like you a little bit, in a sense - you're sort of like Colonel Klink.
()
(Please, don't tell me any of you children don't know who Colonel Klink is - I might cry)
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Lief 🗽 on November 13, 2012, 08:38:48 PM
Christie would be a fine sacrificial lamb against Clinton. He'll probably call her "toots" or "sweetie" in the debates.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on November 14, 2012, 06:30:50 AM
CONTEXT IS GOLDEN:
I want you to sit there and think about what you've done... I will be watching you
()
()
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on November 14, 2012, 03:31:25 PM
See I just can't see someone from the Minnesota for Marriage people saying "We have called f**king *number* of people"
And I can't see someone from the Minnesota DFL not screaming "Tapioca! We need more tapioca don't cha know!"
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Lief 🗽 on November 14, 2012, 05:40:05 PM
Jindal could never be the nominee:
Because Jindal is Non-Caucasian? That's the obebo that we all know and love...
No, because Jindal is not the appropriate kind of non-caucasian. The diabolical party will dredge up an Uncle Tomás, not an Uncle Taj.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Speed of Sound on November 14, 2012, 05:41:06 PM
Jindal could never be the nominee:
Because Jindal is Non-Caucasian? That's the obebo that we all know and love...
No, because Jindal is not the appropriate kind of non-caucasian. The diabolical party will dredge up an Uncle Tomás, not an Uncle Taj.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on November 14, 2012, 10:09:55 PM
See that's another reason why opebo is the best poster.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian. on November 15, 2012, 03:02:49 PM
See I just can't see someone from the Minnesota for Marriage people saying "We have called f**king *number* of people"
And I can't see someone from the Minnesota DFL not screaming "Tapioca! We need more tapioca don't cha know!"
The exchange between Sanchez and 20RP12 in that thread is also sublime.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Lief 🗽 on November 15, 2012, 05:37:33 PM
I sometimes wonder if this moderator team is even trying to get girls.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on November 15, 2012, 05:54:54 PM
That's an old meme, based on the 2004 election. you must be slow on the uptake.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: k-onmmunist on November 15, 2012, 05:59:35 PM
That's an old meme, based on the 2004 election. you must be slow on the uptake.
yeah, ohio, new mexico and virginia are in the USC now ;)
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Kitteh on November 15, 2012, 08:12:10 PM
That's an old meme, based on the 2004 election. you must be slow on the uptake.
yeah, ohio, new mexico and virginia are in the USC now ;)
And Colorado, Iowa, and Nevada. The North American Civil War of 2008-2012 was really a disaster for Jesusland.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Chancellor Tanterterg on November 15, 2012, 08:13:52 PM
That's an old meme, based on the 2004 election. you must be slow on the uptake.
yeah, ohio, new mexico and virginia are in the USC now ;)
And Colorado, Iowa, and Nevada. The North American Civil War of 2008-2012 was really a disaster for Jesusland.
You forgot Poland...and Florida.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Kitteh on November 15, 2012, 08:16:15 PM
That's an old meme, based on the 2004 election. you must be slow on the uptake.
yeah, ohio, new mexico and virginia are in the USC now ;)
And Colorado, Iowa, and Nevada. The North American Civil War of 2008-2012 was really a disaster for Jesusland.
You forgot Poland...and Florida.
Nah, Florida is part of the People's Republic of Cuba now.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oakvale on November 16, 2012, 05:43:32 AM
Townsend, writing off huge swathes of human culture won't help you get girls.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Kaine for Senate '18 on November 16, 2012, 11:30:53 AM
if Al was chiming in on the Assange saga being a postmodern hack thriller novel... what is this?
This is a Shakespearean sex comedy, of course.
So it will shortly be revealed in the final act that everyone was actually just having sex with their spouses after all, in an elaborate scheme of mistaken identity and disguise?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Edu on November 17, 2012, 02:10:13 PM
So... why isn't this guy Jason Chaffez a Democrat? Sounds like all the policies he considers 'cool' are Democratic, and all the uncool is Republican.
Chaffetz was a Democrat (Utah co-chair for Dukakis '88), but changed after meeting Reagan in 1990.
Bizarre - I wasn't even aware Reagan was still alive in 1990 - in any case he can't have been cognizant. So it is true - Reagan was like the pod people, and took over this guy Chaffez by osmosis.
()
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Mr. Morden on November 17, 2012, 08:02:52 PM
The GOP died on its way back to its home planet.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on November 18, 2012, 03:43:05 PM
At the DNC, they had an illegal alien give a speech on national TV, urging Americans to pardon 11 million criminals.
I do not like illegal aliens.
I do not like illegal aliens.
Yeah, I don't like Eva Longoria either.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on November 18, 2012, 03:46:43 PM
I'm not really outside the mainstream on anything.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Ebowed on November 19, 2012, 04:23:55 AM
Careful, man, he might start a coalition against you and whine about your behavior to AH...
althernatehistory.com. Apparently when a Person didn't get his way in having me removed as a mod, it was too much for him to handle, so he took from the site and apparently started venting there about me.
Congratulations.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Lief 🗽 on November 19, 2012, 05:31:00 AM
I had no idea there's HS education in North Dakota.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: opebo on November 19, 2012, 06:40:48 AM
Careful, man, he might start a coalition against you and whine about your behavior to AH...
althernatehistory.com. Apparently when a Person didn't get his way in having me removed as a mod, it was too much for him to handle, so he took from the site and apparently started venting there about me.
Congratulations.
I'm so gratified that one was noticed. I think humor based on our own community - and our special and intimate knowledge of our own bad eggs is particularly rich and heartwarming.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Simfan34 on November 19, 2012, 11:25:39 AM
Perhaps Ian will ban us all. It was a crisis when jmfcst was banned. If this was AH.com we'd be without opebo, Lief, BRTD, Torie, Al, and a slew of old-timers... though we do need a Thande figure.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: opebo on November 19, 2012, 11:54:04 AM
Perhaps Ian will ban us all. It was a crisis when jmfcst was banned. If this was AH.com we'd be without opebo, Lief, BRTD, Torie, Al, and a slew of old-timers... though we do need a Thande figure.
How could Torie be banned? He's total affirmation of the system. Never heard of AH or Thande.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: SUSAN CRUSHBONE on November 19, 2012, 01:10:08 PM
Perhaps Ian will ban us all. It was a crisis when jmfcst was banned. If this was AH.com we'd be without opebo, Lief, BRTD, Torie, Al, and a slew of old-timers... though we do need a Thande figure.
How could Torie be banned? He's total affirmation of the system.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: morgieb on November 19, 2012, 04:52:12 PM
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: SPC on November 19, 2012, 09:54:30 PM
:) I'll be taking his class next semester.
Mr. Sabato! Do you recognize me? I'm Ben from the Atlas Forum!
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on November 20, 2012, 03:57:40 PM
Both the defense of McCarthy and citing that as the "main reason" to never vote for the Democrats are mind-boggingly stupid.
Lay off him; I wouldn't vote for the Republicans because of the Spanish-American War.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on November 20, 2012, 04:05:19 PM
The civil rights activists senator Strom Thurmond, disturbed by the racism of people like Hubert Humphrey and Robert F. Kennedy, joined the Republican Party of racial equality.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: morgieb on November 20, 2012, 07:11:37 PM
1. Who is the current Prime Minister? - Barry O'Callaghan
2. What is the formal title of the Queen's representative in Australia? - Sheila
3. What is Australia's oldest continually inhabited city? - Wallabarramarataballgoolahoolama
4. What two animals are on the Australian Coat of Arms? - A koala and a pterodactyl
5. Sir Robert Menzies was Australia's longest serving Prime Minister, who is next on that list? - Menzies Campbell
6. What is the name of Australia's capital city? - Under Construction
7. Who is the current Federal Opposition Leader? - Bob Wrench
8. Australia is made of how many states and how many territories? - 612
9. In what year did European settlement begin in Australia? - 1962
10. If I said GABBA, WACCA and Subiaco - what would I be talking about? 'Go away you bitch' while drunk
11. What is Australia's longest river? - The water slide at Big Sid's WaterLand Park.
12. Approximately what proportion of Australia's population reside in an area that is defined as 'urban' (I'll give points for 8% either side of the correct answer)? - 0.00000001% - Geoffrey Took, of Melbourne currently describes his residence as 'urban' due to brick effect walls in his lounge.
13. In what year was the Commonwealth of Australia formed? 1963
14. Who was the first sitting Australian/British Monarch to visit Australia? - King Arthur of Pendragon
15. What year did this occur? - 1964, while on a promotional tour
16. Who is the coach of the Queensland State of Origin rugby league team? - Sharon Strzelecki
17. What was the name of the event that is believed to have created the Labor movement in Australia? - Petty criminality in London
18. In Question 4, I asked what two animals are on the Coat of Arms... there is a very specific reason for these animals being chosen, what is it? - To create a bridge between the future and the past stopping a temporal flux in the fabric of space and time
19. Name the Prime Minister who disappeared off Cheviot Beach in December 1967? - Julia Gillard
20. What other country could join the Commonwealth of Australia if they passed a national referendum to do so... with very little Australia could do to stop it? - Mirror-World Australia
21. There has only been one serious attempt on the life of a Federal politician, who? - the stabbing of Kevin Rudd
22. Who was leader of the Federal Labor Party from December 1977 to February 1983? - Harold Bishop
23. Name the large irrigation program that was built in North-West Western Australia? - Big Sid's WaterLand Park.
24. Name the seminal Australian novel, written in the early 1870s about life in a penal colony in Tasmania? - Tootsie.
2. What is the formal title of the Queen's representative in Australia? - Sheila
3. What is Australia's oldest continually inhabited city? - Wallabarramarataballgoolahoolama
4. What two animals are on the Australian Coat of Arms? - A koala and a pterodactyl
5. Sir Robert Menzies was Australia's longest serving Prime Minister, who is next on that list? - Menzies Campbell
6. What is the name of Australia's capital city? - Under Construction
7. Who is the current Federal Opposition Leader? - Bob Wrench
8. Australia is made of how many states and how many territories? - 612
9. In what year did European settlement begin in Australia? - 1962
10. If I said GABBA, WACCA and Subiaco - what would I be talking about? 'Go away you bitch' while drunk
11. What is Australia's longest river? - The water slide at Big Sid's WaterLand Park.
12. Approximately what proportion of Australia's population reside in an area that is defined as 'urban' (I'll give points for 8% either side of the correct answer)? - 0.00000001% - Geoffrey Took, of Melbourne currently describes his residence as 'urban' due to brick effect walls in his lounge.
13. In what year was the Commonwealth of Australia formed? 1963
14. Who was the first sitting Australian/British Monarch to visit Australia? - King Arthur of Pendragon
15. What year did this occur? - 1964, while on a promotional tour
16. Who is the coach of the Queensland State of Origin rugby league team? - Sharon Strzelecki
17. What was the name of the event that is believed to have created the Labor movement in Australia? - Petty criminality in London
18. In Question 4, I asked what two animals are on the Coat of Arms... there is a very specific reason for these animals being chosen, what is it? - To create a bridge between the future and the past stopping a temporal flux in the fabric of space and time
19. Name the Prime Minister who disappeared off Cheviot Beach in December 1967? - Julia Gillard
20. What other country could join the Commonwealth of Australia if they passed a national referendum to do so... with very little Australia could do to stop it? - Mirror-World Australia
21. There has only been one serious attempt on the life of a Federal politician, who? - the stabbing of Kevin Rudd
22. Who was leader of the Federal Labor Party from December 1977 to February 1983? - Harold Bishop
23. Name the large irrigation program that was built in North-West Western Australia? - Big Sid's WaterLand Park.
24. Name the seminal Australian novel, written in the early 1870s about life in a penal colony in Tasmania? - Tootsie.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Joe Republic on November 20, 2012, 10:24:09 PM
Exceptional work.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Paul Kemp on November 20, 2012, 11:00:57 PM
Click for context:
A true man of the people.
This proves it.
This proves it.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Sound + Vision on November 20, 2012, 11:32:38 PM
Thanks! I feel pretty good about it, despite initially thinking my birthday was in February and that I'm only 28, but that's probably just the senility.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on November 21, 2012, 12:23:42 AM
Cut him some slack; the guy's been unemployed for nearly six years. A true victim of the recession.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on November 21, 2012, 06:14:54 AM
Context:
For his sake, I hope he's not the one who came up with the idea for "Tickle Me Elmo".
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: SUSAN CRUSHBONE on November 21, 2012, 09:56:38 AM
Where's Ohio?
Between Indiana and Pennsylvania.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on November 21, 2012, 12:58:32 PM
Well, one thing's for sure, America sure does hate flip-flopping rich guys from Massachusetts with nice hair.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: minionofmidas on November 21, 2012, 02:10:21 PM
We'll make sure to wake you up in about 4 years.
Let's not, and say we did.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: opebo on November 21, 2012, 03:49:04 PM
He's living the SoCal life, pumping gas, watching Twilight, going to Disneyland, maybe a little surfing, tickets to Leno, hiking Yosemite, or growing some medicinal marijuana next.
Really subtle, not a thigh-slapper, but I liked it.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: tmthforu94 on November 22, 2012, 01:44:14 AM
I'd post real pictures but no one would believe me anymore
I'll just say I'm somehow even more beautiful than Senator Shelley Berkley ;)
I'll just say I'm somehow even more beautiful than Senator Shelley Berkley ;)
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Phony Moderate on November 22, 2012, 08:01:14 PM
Context needed:
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Simfan34 on November 23, 2012, 10:51:02 PM
If Iran can emit solar flares, I believe that means Iran has been absorbed into the Sun, which could prove to be a problem.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on November 24, 2012, 01:44:02 PM
It is believed he is attempting to win favor amongst hispanics.
This is absolutely fantastic news.
I am following this breaking news story closely, and will bring you updates as they become available.
Stay tuned for any further dramatic developments in this ground breaking story which is truly of historical significance.
This is absolutely fantastic news.
I am following this breaking news story closely, and will bring you updates as they become available.
Stay tuned for any further dramatic developments in this ground breaking story which is truly of historical significance.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on November 24, 2012, 03:05:35 PM
The ten most terrifying words in the English language: "I'm from the Republican Party and I'm here to help."
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: King on November 24, 2012, 05:03:58 PM
Mitt Romney is a regular person. Everyone else just happens to be poor.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on November 26, 2012, 01:39:53 AM
Context:
I would have been too young to vote.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oakvale on November 27, 2012, 08:44:07 AM
Ah, Hannah Ahrendt.
She crops up everywhere. Unwritten rule of the universe.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Lief 🗽 on November 27, 2012, 06:43:27 PM
The denouement in this (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=102867.75) thread is hilarious:
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
I told my family about this thread
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Landslide Lyndon on November 28, 2012, 05:46:02 AM
I'm the only one (I think) on this forum that has actually met Kalwejt.
Did it go like this?
()
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Donerail on November 28, 2012, 08:23:50 PM
Speaker of the House Mewt Hingrich.
()
Full name: Mewton Leroy "Mewt" Hingrich.
Born: June 17, 1943, in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.
Resides: McLean, Virginia.
Religion: Roman Catholic.
Ancestry: German, English, Irish, Scottish.
Education: Baker High School, Georgia, Emory University (BA), Tulane University (MA, PhD).
Languages: English, smugness.
Occupation: Author, professor, political consultant.
Political party: Republican
Current office: Speaker of the House of Representatives (1995- present), Representative for Georgia's 6th Congressional District (1979- present).
Caucus: Speaker Hingrich considers himself a member of all caucuses yet also none.
Previous offices: None.
Military Service: None, but Speaker Hingrich firmly believes that we must have a strong and large military, capable of, when necessary, expanding our civilization beyond the farthest stars through the might of our laser weapons.
()
Full name: Mewton Leroy "Mewt" Hingrich.
Born: June 17, 1943, in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.
Resides: McLean, Virginia.
Religion: Roman Catholic.
Ancestry: German, English, Irish, Scottish.
Education: Baker High School, Georgia, Emory University (BA), Tulane University (MA, PhD).
Languages: English, smugness.
Occupation: Author, professor, political consultant.
Political party: Republican
Current office: Speaker of the House of Representatives (1995- present), Representative for Georgia's 6th Congressional District (1979- present).
Caucus: Speaker Hingrich considers himself a member of all caucuses yet also none.
Previous offices: None.
Military Service: None, but Speaker Hingrich firmly believes that we must have a strong and large military, capable of, when necessary, expanding our civilization beyond the farthest stars through the might of our laser weapons.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on November 29, 2012, 07:33:56 AM
()()()()()
3/5 Warren G. Hardings.
3/5 Warren G. Hardings.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: SUSAN CRUSHBONE on November 29, 2012, 04:19:33 PM
Romney has any supporters left?
maybe in west virgina
You misspelled 'Rhode Island'.
You are a good person thanks for catching that.
Romney has any supporters left?
maybe in west virginia
-_-
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Paul Kemp on November 29, 2012, 05:00:44 PM
I honestly don't know what to do with this post so I'll just put it here...
Better yet. With Patrick retiring in 2014, Romney will run as a liberal Democrat.
Well, Mitt has been, by all accounts, a liberal Republican, a moderate Republican, somewhat of an independent, a conservative Republican, a severe conservative, so why not a liberal Democrat as his newest embodiment?
It'd be hilarious if Mitt Romney became Secretary of something.
Better yet. With Patrick retiring in 2014, Romney will run as a liberal Democrat.
Well, Mitt has been, by all accounts, a liberal Republican, a moderate Republican, somewhat of an independent, a conservative Republican, a severe conservative, so why not a liberal Democrat as his newest embodiment?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on November 29, 2012, 08:45:05 PM
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on November 30, 2012, 07:58:41 AM
Wait, did I miss something here? Does Bushie actually eat 3 meals a day at McDonald's?
No, I think he goes to Golden Corral and Pizza Hut alternatively. Or to be very healthy, I think frozen burritos at home have been mentioned.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on November 30, 2012, 07:54:43 PM
Still.. $83? Jesus.
In San Francisco that's only about twice the cost of a cup of coffee...
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Simfan34 on November 30, 2012, 08:49:02 PM
He could also pick Victoria II. He'd be honoring his great-great-great-grandmother, and it would shake things up a bit. Brits like surprises, I'm told.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on November 30, 2012, 10:14:11 PM
For the record I am nonwhite and gay. So I am a twofer here and will criticize their lack of diversity.
How many Forum Moderators are women?
What do our forum moderators have to do with the House committee chairs? That makes little sense.
They don't think the poor should have food and words.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on December 01, 2012, 04:39:14 AM
The only response we're likely to see from Winfield here is something along the lines of:
"Well isn't it masterful to see you all discussing me at such lengths.
No, no, I'm truly unworthy.
You're all simply too kind.
It's simply wonderful to know that I am so beloved by you all.
Harrumph harrumph gosh monocle."
We won't get a straight answer. Nor should we expect one, and much less should we care.
"Well isn't it masterful to see you all discussing me at such lengths.
No, no, I'm truly unworthy.
You're all simply too kind.
It's simply wonderful to know that I am so beloved by you all.
Harrumph harrumph gosh monocle."
We won't get a straight answer. Nor should we expect one, and much less should we care.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: opebo on December 01, 2012, 01:31:08 PM
Actually the size of sandwich that BushOK described sounded very small - the kind of little wimpy sandwich one normally makes at home. One of those by itself would be nothing. I used to eat one like that for lunch in the US, but would always have a few chips or potato salad with it, and/or a bowl of soup.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: SPC on December 01, 2012, 07:18:46 PM
Wildcard bet: Elena Kagan came out of the closet to her colleagues at that meeting on Thursday and made a strong case that people in her position shouldn't be denied the right to marry someone they love. The court is swayed by her personal appeal, and decides to use the Prop 8 case (and specifically, upholding the facts and decision of the district court trial) to unanimously legalize same-sex marriage nationwide as a basic human right. It'll be like Brown v. Board, with the unanimity of the court playing a huge role in the decision's acceptance throughout most of the nation. Kagan publicly comes out of the closet in the decision of the court itself, which all eight of the other justices join in a show of support.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Simfan34 on December 01, 2012, 07:51:18 PM
You can't win the text war, twelve pounds-gainer!
[size=125pt]Oh yeah?[/size]
Crap. Fail....
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Joe Biden 2020 on December 01, 2012, 07:57:25 PM
You can't win the text war, twelve pounds-gainer!
[size=125pt]Oh yeah?[/size]
Crap. Fail....
I knew this was goldmined immediately when I posted it....
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Paul Kemp on December 01, 2012, 08:37:38 PM
Not sure if these great shots ever made it in here...
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Kitteh on December 01, 2012, 09:10:15 PM
Your picture reminds me that until the scandal, I thought DSK was a woman.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on December 02, 2012, 12:53:25 AM
I hate to quote Mint but...
in all seriousness, yes. in our house we have something that makes foot steps around 3-4 in the hallway outside of my room. nobody is ever up at that time and nobody has a history of sleep walking or anything like that. sometimes i can hear those sounds in my room. it also has a tendency to open my closet door and turn on my light late at night while i'm away at school. or at least that's what my parents and my sister's boyfriend have told me.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Paul Kemp on December 02, 2012, 01:11:38 AM
I hate to quote Mint but...
in all seriousness, yes. in our house we have something that makes foot steps around 3-4 in the hallway outside of my room. nobody is ever up at that time and nobody has a history of sleep walking or anything like that. sometimes i can hear those sounds in my room. it also has a tendency to open my closet door and turn on my light late at night while i'm away at school. or at least that's what my parents and my sister's boyfriend have told me.
Am I missing something?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: minionofmidas on December 02, 2012, 05:50:38 AM
Wildcard bet: Elena Kagan came out of the closet to her colleagues at that meeting on Thursday and made a strong case that people in her position shouldn't be denied the right to marry someone they love. The court is swayed by her personal appeal, and decides to use the Prop 8 case (and specifically, upholding the facts and decision of the district court trial) to unanimously legalize same-sex marriage nationwide as a basic human right. It'll be like Brown v. Board, with the unanimity of the court playing a huge role in the decision's acceptance throughout most of the nation. Kagan publicly comes out of the closet in the decision of the court itself, which all eight of the other justices join in a show of support.
It will of course be Scalia doing that.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: opebo on December 02, 2012, 06:55:19 AM
Basically correct, but BK fingered the wrong Justice.
It will of course be Scalia doing that.
It will of course be Scalia doing that.
()
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Simfan34 on December 02, 2012, 11:05:00 PM
Electing J.C. Watts the new RNC chairman should easily win the GOP at least 30-40% of the black vote. The black community is taking this very seriously, and if the Republicans decide to elect a token black ultra-conservative from Oklahoma to be their head fundraiser, it's fair to say that blacks will almost instantly become one of the foremost "swing" demographics.
Source: I live only a fifteen minute walk from the Apollo Theater.
Source: I live only a fifteen minute walk from the Apollo Theater.
It's perhaps funnier for me because I can attest to that last bit.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on December 03, 2012, 02:19:54 AM
Oh, so she's finally come to terms with her lesbianism?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Kitteh on December 03, 2012, 03:02:24 PM
Context:
Don't worry Miles, I don't think she's a staunch liberal. I heard she loves Bush.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Paul Kemp on December 03, 2012, 03:05:35 PM
Oh, so she's finally come to terms with her lesbianism?
I think you put that in the wrong thread; this isn't the "Unfunny Cliched Jokes from the 90s Resurrection Goldmine."
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on December 03, 2012, 03:12:58 PM
Context:
Don't worry Miles, I don't think she's a staunch liberal. I heard she loves Bush.
LOL
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Filuwaúrdjan on December 03, 2012, 04:32:34 PM
Basically correct, but BK fingered the wrong Justice.
kinky
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: minionofmidas on December 03, 2012, 04:33:13 PM
Basically correct, but BK fingered the wrong Justice.
kinky
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on December 03, 2012, 04:54:07 PM
Oh, so she's finally come to terms with her lesbianism?
Go away (I'd love to use a stronger expression, but this is Inks' board so I'm trying to be polite).
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Filuwaúrdjan on December 03, 2012, 04:55:37 PM
I think we could do without the 'haha, homosexuality' jokes. If the word 'joke' is accurate, which I doubt.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on December 03, 2012, 04:59:11 PM
I think we could do without the 'haha, homosexuality' jokes. If the word 'joke' is accurate, which I doubt.
I think understanding jokes of an actual quality is way beyond The Obamanation's intellectual capability.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oakvale on December 03, 2012, 05:04:41 PM
The anti-royal family comments in this thread are disgusting and have all been reported.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Paul Kemp on December 03, 2012, 06:06:43 PM
Beards can work.
()
()
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on December 03, 2012, 09:53:56 PM
Because Britain has spent almost 125 of the past 200 years (and counting) under the rule of women.
1979-1990 = rather less than 125 years.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Chancellor Tanterterg on December 04, 2012, 06:10:48 PM
Of course we do, that's half the fun. We also talk about how to make someones life miserable via internet forum since most of us are dead inside.
We also have measured to see whos junk is the biggest, but this giant length or width debate started between Badger and Inks. There are areas in there that are still burning and in shambles because of this. We've started to move on for the sake the forum and Dave.. but we know it's not over.
We also have measured to see whos junk is the biggest, but this giant length or width debate started between Badger and Inks. There are areas in there that are still burning and in shambles because of this. We've started to move on for the sake the forum and Dave.. but we know it's not over.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Bacon King on December 05, 2012, 01:09:14 AM
SECRETARY OF STATE BREWER?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Simfan34 on December 05, 2012, 03:22:54 PM
Who else gets irritated when someone (presumably accidentally) substitutes 'succession' for 'secession'? :P
So what you're saying is that you support democratic succession but not Democratic secession?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: SPC on December 05, 2012, 09:49:32 PM
Two words popped into my head when I first saw this: Appalachian Trail.
Same here. Though I really don't want to know about the details if Brewer has that kind of scandal.
What scandal are you talking about? I assumed Keystone Phil meant she was walking the Appalachian Trail, but to be honest I think it takes like 2 months to walk that, not a week.
It might take you two months, others less than five minutes.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Chancellor Tanterterg on December 06, 2012, 05:39:10 PM
Context
Thanks, Seatown. Did you know that the Austin citizens like to play funny fantasy politics games? They seem to be very enthusiastic with a certain Obama, from a mythic land called USA. Who's that guy? Probably such hobbies are part of our venerable southern customs. In spite of the fact that I got a little time living here, I find them very interesting.
() (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/545/flickrobamaaustin01.jpg/)
I'll give more details on my platform in following speeches, but feel free to ask anything ;)
() (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/545/flickrobamaaustin01.jpg/)
I'll give more details on my platform in following speeches, but feel free to ask anything ;)
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Hatman 🍁 on December 06, 2012, 11:51:34 PM
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Donerail on December 07, 2012, 11:04:09 AM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?action=profile;u=9236;sa=showPosts (https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?action=profile;u=9236;sa=showPosts)
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Paul Kemp on December 07, 2012, 01:00:08 PM
http://blogs.wsj.com/metropolis/2012/08/23/whos-the-boss-star-tony-danza-weighs-run-for-mayor/
Not sure if this has any legitimacy to it, but if Tony Danza runs I'll probably support him. Or Kelsey Grammar, if he runs.
Not sure if this has any legitimacy to it, but if Tony Danza runs I'll probably support him. Or Kelsey Grammar, if he runs.
crossposted.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: morgieb on December 07, 2012, 06:51:59 PM
Who would be some possibilities for those 16 votes?
Amash, Huelskamp, Schweikert, Jones and Gohmert are the five most likely suspects... I guess the next tier after that would be people like Jim Jordan, Mick Mulvaney, Tom McClintock and other rebellious members of the RSC: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Republican_Study_Committee
Good God! That's like the cast of a cheap horror movie that takes place inside a Deep South insane asylum.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on December 08, 2012, 02:24:44 AM
You mean when all of us are chicks? I wonder if Grumpy Gramms is just as much of a pervert.
more I wonder who the Clarence-equivalent would be
....and if she'd be posting pictures of Chris Christie in every thread.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: SUSAN CRUSHBONE on December 08, 2012, 02:26:01 AM
How are they sure?
They are Marxists and thus believe in the eternity of matter.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Queen Mum Inks.LWC on December 08, 2012, 03:38:58 AM
You mean when all of us are chicks? I wonder if Grumpy Gramms is just as much of a pervert.
more I wonder who the Clarence-equivalent would be
....and if she'd be posting pictures of Chris Christie in every thread.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Simfan34 on December 08, 2012, 09:54:39 PM
Hey Roker. Go out and get some exercise.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on December 09, 2012, 01:13:58 AM
Who did you say?
Since it was an automated poll, I said BEEP!
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Paul Kemp on December 09, 2012, 01:37:28 AM
And of course the worst part about Cuomo is that he hasn't made a really good album since Pinkerton.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on December 09, 2012, 12:21:37 PM
And of course the worst part about Cuomo is that he hasn't made a really good album since Pinkerton.
LOL
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Mechaman on December 09, 2012, 04:22:10 PM
I wonder who Pacquiao would have voted for. Romney or Obama
Manny got knocked so far into the past his choices are Kennedy or Nixon.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: k-onmmunist on December 09, 2012, 04:26:50 PM
And of course the worst part about Cuomo is that he hasn't made a really good album since Pinkerton.
LOL
gotta admit, this is one of the few posts that made me laugh out loud.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian. on December 09, 2012, 06:41:23 PM
Michael Anthony Naso Mountbatten-Windsor.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: © tweed on December 09, 2012, 09:20:59 PM
We're definitely a 100 win team next season.
Napoli is a good signing, but I'm not sure about Victorino, and they're marginal moves at best. I can't see more than 85 wins, let alone 100.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Kaine for Senate '18 on December 09, 2012, 09:22:26 PM
We're definitely a 100 win team next season.
Napoli is a good signing, but I'm not sure about Victorino, and they're marginal moves at best. I can't see more than 85 wins, let alone 100.
That's not a funny quote - it's a case of him mixing up which team I support.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: © tweed on December 09, 2012, 09:25:55 PM
We're definitely a 100 win team next season.
Napoli is a good signing, but I'm not sure about Victorino, and they're marginal moves at best. I can't see more than 85 wins, let alone 100.
That's not a funny quote - it's a case of him mixing up which team I support.
it's a joke you're not in on.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: politicus on December 09, 2012, 09:31:44 PM
We're definitely a 100 win team next season.
Napoli is a good signing, but I'm not sure about Victorino, and they're marginal moves at best. I can't see more than 85 wins, let alone 100.
That's not a funny quote - it's a case of him mixing up which team I support.
it's a joke you're not in on.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: © tweed on December 09, 2012, 09:32:34 PM
We're definitely a 100 win team next season.
Napoli is a good signing, but I'm not sure about Victorino, and they're marginal moves at best. I can't see more than 85 wins, let alone 100.
That's not a funny quote - it's a case of him mixing up which team I support.
it's a joke you're not in on.
it's not, if someone wants to pore through the public messages available on this board, they could puzzle it together. also, false premise -- what's wrong with posting inside jokes here?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Paul Kemp on December 09, 2012, 10:02:46 PM
Ah, someone else following the ancient and noble tradition of 'posting directly into the Deluge.'
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Paul Kemp on December 09, 2012, 10:07:43 PM
9-7 NYJ @ 12-4 New England wild card would bore you?
It would have me wondering what the highest playoff point spread has ever been.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: politicus on December 09, 2012, 10:09:57 PM
We're definitely a 100 win team next season.
Napoli is a good signing, but I'm not sure about Victorino, and they're marginal moves at best. I can't see more than 85 wins, let alone 100.
That's not a funny quote - it's a case of him mixing up which team I support.
it's a joke you're not in on.
it's not, if someone wants to pore through the public messages available on this board, they could puzzle it together. also, false premise -- what's wrong with posting inside jokes here?
This should be a thread for all to enjoy where you can get a good laugh, not some school boy club.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Joe Republic on December 09, 2012, 10:30:44 PM
It's even worse for the fact it was a sports joke. Few people here would get those, even if it wasn't an in-joke.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Kitteh on December 10, 2012, 12:46:02 PM
You forgot to include a category for opebo: "Buy-sexual".
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Adam Griffin on December 10, 2012, 06:17:23 PM
Women don't tend to obsess over specific fields of minutaie the way men do.
Sure they do - themselves.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oakvale on December 10, 2012, 06:26:35 PM
I don't agree with everything on that page, but it makes great points about cannabis in the Bible, and that Jesus healed using it. Jesus was a medical marijuana practioner.
I heard he fronted a pretty sick screamo band and made it rain at da club too.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian. on December 10, 2012, 06:28:04 PM
I don't find opebo's usual schtick particularly funny, but...
Context
Two questions - why is the little boy in pastel blue wai-ing, and why is there a kind of lanky hipster character molesting the little gay boys?
Context
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oakvale on December 10, 2012, 07:12:44 PM
Welcome to The Atlas Forum, one of the few places in the world where it's harder to come out as a woman than to come out as a gay.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on December 11, 2012, 12:13:01 AM
Significantly lower than Angus King's opinion of Angus King.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Smid on December 11, 2012, 12:55:27 AM
That would be a LOT more than could ever be said about The Two Towers.
I maintain that Faramir should consider consulting his lawyers with the aim of suing Jackson for libel. The case is overwhelming.
I'm representing the Ents in a similar case, actually. However, the case moves very slowly, since it's in an Entish court. I presumably won't live to see its resolution, but it should result in the violent dismemberment of all the earthly remains of Jackson's oeuvre.
Al's comment, and Lewis's response are both worthwhile entries, I would suggest, although Lewis's is undoubtably the more humourous.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on December 11, 2012, 11:55:49 AM
you always contribute so much to discussion.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Filuwaúrdjan on December 11, 2012, 12:25:41 PM
That would be a LOT more than could ever be said about The Two Towers.
I maintain that Faramir should consider consulting his lawyers with the aim of suing Jackson for libel. The case is overwhelming.
I'm representing the Ents in a similar case, actually. However, the case moves very slowly, since it's in an Entish court. I presumably won't live to see its resolution, but it should result in the violent dismemberment of all the earthly remains of Jackson's oeuvre.
Al's comment, and Lewis's response are both worthwhile entries, I would suggest, although Lewis's is undoubtably the more humourous.
Absolutely. I laughed for... slightly too long... after reading it...
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Filuwaúrdjan on December 11, 2012, 12:29:23 PM
Jack E. Robinson is almost certainly one of the worst candidates to ever seek election to the U.S. Senate. He'd have struggled to get 30% in any state, but since he was running in Massachusetts, he was lucky to just break the 10% mark.
What made him a terrible candidate? Well, his electoral strategy included releasing and making public every possible piece of negative information about himself. His self-made website detailed his arrest for failing to pay a ticket, the restraining order his ex took out on him, and a drunk driving charge. As a bonus, he also got into a car accident while doing a live radio interview. Robinson was bad enough to get disowned publicly by the state GOP in a year where the party had little to gain by doing so (2000).
Even the Republicans I know in Massachusetts (who worked on the Romney campaign) say they voted Libertarian as a protest against the worst candidate to ever seek the office of U.S. Senate in the history of the Commonwealth.
What made him a terrible candidate? Well, his electoral strategy included releasing and making public every possible piece of negative information about himself. His self-made website detailed his arrest for failing to pay a ticket, the restraining order his ex took out on him, and a drunk driving charge. As a bonus, he also got into a car accident while doing a live radio interview. Robinson was bad enough to get disowned publicly by the state GOP in a year where the party had little to gain by doing so (2000).
Even the Republicans I know in Massachusetts (who worked on the Romney campaign) say they voted Libertarian as a protest against the worst candidate to ever seek the office of U.S. Senate in the history of the Commonwealth.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자) on December 11, 2012, 03:28:20 PM
While it's not intentional comedy, it did make me laugh.
Imagine the disappointment when you open up the present and its clothes.
By the way, I would have put that in the Update thread.
I saw the truncated title of this thread "So there's a rash..." and the poster who'd made it and I thought Bushie was going to regale us with a tale of some new rash he had found on his body!
Imagine the disappointment when you open up the present and its clothes.
By the way, I would have put that in the Update thread.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: opebo on December 11, 2012, 03:42:29 PM
That would be a LOT more than could ever be said about The Two Towers.
I maintain that Faramir should consider consulting his lawyers with the aim of suing Jackson for libel. The case is overwhelming.
I'm representing the Ents in a similar case, actually. However, the case moves very slowly, since it's in an Entish court. I presumably won't live to see its resolution, but it should result in the violent dismemberment of all the earthly remains of Jackson's oeuvre.
Al's comment, and Lewis's response are both worthwhile entries, I would suggest, although Lewis's is undoubtably the more humourous.
Absolutely. I laughed for... slightly too long... after reading it...
Aside from the admittedly very funny nerd-humor about Ents, the juxtaposition of the word oeuvre and 'violent dismemberment' is beautifully done. There's nothing like finding the base next to the pretentious to bring out a titter.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Alcon on December 11, 2012, 03:58:58 PM
Hetero
Why are there about 3-5x the amount of gays/bi's on this Forum than in the population ?
Why are there about 3-5x the amount of gays/bi's on this Forum than in the population ?
Fluoridation.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on December 11, 2012, 05:31:59 PM
Jack E. Robinson is almost certainly one of the worst candidates to ever seek election to the U.S. Senate. He'd have struggled to get 30% in any state, but since he was running in Massachusetts, he was lucky to just break the 10% mark.
What made him a terrible candidate? Well, his electoral strategy included releasing and making public every possible piece of negative information about himself. His self-made website detailed his arrest for failing to pay a ticket, the restraining order his ex took out on him, and a drunk driving charge. As a bonus, he also got into a car accident while doing a live radio interview. Robinson was bad enough to get disowned publicly by the state GOP in a year where the party had little to gain by doing so (2000).
Even the Republicans I know in Massachusetts (who worked on the Romney campaign) say they voted Libertarian as a protest against the worst candidate to ever seek the office of U.S. Senate in the history of the Commonwealth.
What made him a terrible candidate? Well, his electoral strategy included releasing and making public every possible piece of negative information about himself. His self-made website detailed his arrest for failing to pay a ticket, the restraining order his ex took out on him, and a drunk driving charge. As a bonus, he also got into a car accident while doing a live radio interview. Robinson was bad enough to get disowned publicly by the state GOP in a year where the party had little to gain by doing so (2000).
Even the Republicans I know in Massachusetts (who worked on the Romney campaign) say they voted Libertarian as a protest against the worst candidate to ever seek the office of U.S. Senate in the history of the Commonwealth.
ROFL
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on December 11, 2012, 10:40:45 PM
Well, we all say stuff we regret man. I mean, I really really don't like Jews, but I don't say that kind of stuff on the forum now! I mean, who knows how ignorant that might make me come off, even if the perception is that Jews are greedy money grabbing big nosed motherf***ers who hate Christmas?
Don't worry man, you're going through a phase. Eventually you'll come to realize that black isn't always black and white isn't always white and that there's a "grey" dimension to everything. For instance, I have no idea what the hell to call your views.
Don't worry man, you're going through a phase. Eventually you'll come to realize that black isn't always black and white isn't always white and that there's a "grey" dimension to everything. For instance, I have no idea what the hell to call your views.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian. on December 12, 2012, 01:16:04 AM
Context:
Yeah, Native Americans do tend to lean Democratic.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Uncle Joe on December 12, 2012, 04:49:02 PM
i feel like my eyes are on fire.
This made me laugh for some reason.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on December 12, 2012, 06:09:25 PM
Just checking the posting averages, looks like he'll stay no. 2 until eventually overtaken by Kalwejt ages from now (a fate that awaits us all, even BRTD).
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on December 12, 2012, 11:15:10 PM
on John Major:
It was revealed, courtesy of Edwina Currie, that he wasn't even particularly good at being straitlaced and boring.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian. on December 13, 2012, 01:01:09 AM
I have an android phone. Was the Apple Maps app that bad?
You're asking this question of posters on this website? Seriously, unless it shows presidential election results and swings by county for all elections since 1100BC, it's a sub-par mapping tool...
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Paul Kemp on December 13, 2012, 07:05:49 PM
FYI, It's not gay if you don't make eye contact
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on December 13, 2012, 07:39:37 PM
FF. He's trying to save public employees from losing their jobs due to layoffs, not "bust unions".
I have some beachfront property in Iowa. Would you be interested?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: SPC on December 15, 2012, 03:52:42 AM
Pacific Islanders in New Zealand vote pretty heavily for the Labour Party, so unless they're vastly different demographically I'd guess they voted Democratic.
That's not even comparing apples and oranges; more like apples and ostriches.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Paul Kemp on December 15, 2012, 04:25:51 PM
The other tabs you have open provide a truly terrifying insight.
Couldn't decide if this should be in the Gallery or the Goldmine, but I love this post!
hahahahaha excellent!
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on December 16, 2012, 03:07:11 AM
An anti-war evangelical who now supports marijuana legalization. Will he be listening to emoviolence soon? :P
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: SUSAN CRUSHBONE on December 16, 2012, 05:43:36 AM
Is that Rick Perry's daughter?
No, it's him.
Context
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Chancellor Tanterterg on December 16, 2012, 10:22:04 PM
Works both with and without context
Correction at 11: "Paris Hilton is actually transgender, will begin taking testosterone and living as a man"
Next at 10, "Paris Hilton is a woman".
Correction at 11: "Paris Hilton is actually transgender, will begin taking testosterone and living as a man"
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on December 17, 2012, 05:23:57 AM
Sounds impressive, but I think Lindsey Graham still has a slight advantage.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Lief 🗽 on December 17, 2012, 03:56:49 PM
The youth are like that - stupidly don't realize that they too will soon get old and need all the same things their elders need, such as prostitutes, bedpans, toupees etc.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on December 17, 2012, 05:20:02 PM
See my sig.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on December 19, 2012, 09:46:42 AM
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on December 19, 2012, 01:35:44 PM
What part of "partial" do you not understand?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Uncle Joe on December 19, 2012, 04:10:32 PM
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: minionofmidas on December 19, 2012, 04:26:28 PM
All that's wrong with both images is the dough.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on December 20, 2012, 11:25:11 PM
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-do
I have a perfect puzzle for you
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-dee
If you are wise, you'll listen to me
What do you get when a Speaker can't count?
A huge train wreck and loss of clout
All your enemies chortle with glee
While down goes the economy
I don't like the sound of it
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da
If you were a leader, you could go far
You would live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do
I have a perfect puzzle for you
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-dee
If you are wise, you'll listen to me
What do you get when a Speaker can't count?
A huge train wreck and loss of clout
All your enemies chortle with glee
While down goes the economy
I don't like the sound of it
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da
If you were a leader, you could go far
You would live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on December 22, 2012, 03:54:02 PM
Antonio V's playlist 2012 religion census:
Christian 6.4%
Jewish 2.7%
Muslim 1.4%
Buddhist 1.5%
Hindu 0.3%
Other religions 2.8%
Agnostic+Atheist 84.9%
Christian 6.4%
- Catholic 5.2%
- Protestant 1.2%
- Baptist 0.1%
- Methodist 0.2%
- Lutheran 0.2%
- Presbyterian 0.1%
- Episcopalian/Anglican 0.3%
- United Church of Christ 0%
- Pentecostal/Charismatic 0%
- Evangelical/Born Again 0.3%
- Other Protestant 0%
- Jehovah's Witness 0%
- Churches of Christ 0%
- Mormon/Latter-Day Saints 0%
- Other Christian 0%
Jewish 2.7%
Muslim 1.4%
Buddhist 1.5%
Hindu 0.3%
Other religions 2.8%
Agnostic+Atheist 84.9%
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Kaine for Senate '18 on December 22, 2012, 04:45:56 PM
Krazen: The Early Years:
"Mom, check that there aren't any teachers hiding in the closet" Little Krazen did shout/
Just before the lights went out.
There were no teachers hiding in the closet that night/
Or even any other night
But little Krazen still couldn't sleep/
He was too scared to make even a peep.
Tomorrow was his first day of school and if there was school there were sure to be teachers/
Truly the most vile of all God's creatures.
Little Krazen was a clever lad/
He knew the truth about the evil that all teachers do and society's ignorance of it made him quite sad. They don't hit kids nor do they scream and shout/
But they didn't fool little Krazen, no, he knew what they were all about.
Teachers live the high life in apartments with $50,000 per-year pay instead of in a box by a gutter/
Thought Little Krazen with a shudder.
Little Krazen was smart as a tack/
Much too smart for any union thugs that the teachers might send to attack.
Day after day in the classroom he would sit silently and despair/
While the teachers got paid, isn't life most unfair?
Years later Pre-Teen Krazen would find/
An internet forum on which to vent and unwind.
"The union thug wouldn't think of checking my posts, cause he's just a dumb jerk"/
Thought Pre-Teen Krazen with a smirk.
And that is how Krazen1211 came to be/
Attempts to reason with him about teachers are futile, don't you see?
"Mom, check that there aren't any teachers hiding in the closet" Little Krazen did shout/
Just before the lights went out.
There were no teachers hiding in the closet that night/
Or even any other night
But little Krazen still couldn't sleep/
He was too scared to make even a peep.
Tomorrow was his first day of school and if there was school there were sure to be teachers/
Truly the most vile of all God's creatures.
Little Krazen was a clever lad/
He knew the truth about the evil that all teachers do and society's ignorance of it made him quite sad. They don't hit kids nor do they scream and shout/
But they didn't fool little Krazen, no, he knew what they were all about.
Teachers live the high life in apartments with $50,000 per-year pay instead of in a box by a gutter/
Thought Little Krazen with a shudder.
Little Krazen was smart as a tack/
Much too smart for any union thugs that the teachers might send to attack.
Day after day in the classroom he would sit silently and despair/
While the teachers got paid, isn't life most unfair?
Years later Pre-Teen Krazen would find/
An internet forum on which to vent and unwind.
"The union thug wouldn't think of checking my posts, cause he's just a dumb jerk"/
Thought Pre-Teen Krazen with a smirk.
And that is how Krazen1211 came to be/
Attempts to reason with him about teachers are futile, don't you see?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on December 22, 2012, 10:41:07 PM
I just came here to post that Mr. X post.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Keystone Phil on December 23, 2012, 09:01:10 AM
Tender was just asking for this bitch slap...
Thinking about Tender Branson...
do you mostly have the guy pictured below in your mind ?
Since they are from Austria...
()
do you mostly have the guy pictured below in your mind ?
Since they are from Austria...
()
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on December 23, 2012, 04:37:15 PM
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oldiesfreak1854 on December 23, 2012, 04:45:19 PM
Context:
()
Simfan=Simban=Simba=Sambo
Simfan=Simban=Simba=Sambo
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Uncle Joe on December 23, 2012, 09:06:03 PM
Tender was just asking for this bitch slap...
Thinking about Tender Branson...
do you mostly have the guy pictured below in your mind ?
Since they are from Austria...
()
do you mostly have the guy pictured below in your mind ?
Since they are from Austria...
()
His troling lately has been over the top.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Marokai Backbeat on December 24, 2012, 06:54:23 AM
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Donerail on December 24, 2012, 08:42:14 AM
I'm confused; are you having sex with this person? Or just taking her to ridiculously expensive dinners?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Lief 🗽 on December 26, 2012, 04:53:55 AM
Mr & Mrs Republic?
I thought you are gay ?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Foucaulf on December 26, 2012, 05:04:53 AM
Mr & Mrs Republic?
I thought you are gay ?
Deserves to be posted in the Sulfur Mine.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Joe Republic on December 26, 2012, 06:09:55 AM
Deserves to be posted in the Sulfur Mine.
Sure, if you think being considered gay is insulting. Perhaps you're still in middle school, I don't know.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Tender Branson on December 26, 2012, 06:18:55 AM
Deserves to be posted in the Sulfur Mine.
Sure, if you think being considered gay is insulting. Perhaps you're still in middle school, I don't know.
It was of course not meant as an insult.
It was just that I thought Joe was gay, because I think I once clicked on the picture thread and saw him on a picture with his dad who was holding a sign on which it said: "I'm proud of my GAY son". Or something like that. Or it was a dream ... And now he has a hot wife ? That's really strange ...
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Joe Republic on December 26, 2012, 05:53:16 PM
I think I once clicked on the picture thread and saw him on a picture with his dad who was holding a sign on which it said: "I'm proud of my GAY son". Or something like that.
WTF
Anyway it's all okay bro.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on December 26, 2012, 06:00:41 PM
Deserves to be posted in the Sulfur Mine.
Sure, if you think being considered gay is insulting. Perhaps you're still in middle school, I don't know.
Considering average age of this forum...
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Holmes on December 26, 2012, 11:03:19 PM
Oh yes, that was me. A long time ago, actually. I had found a picture of a man who looked like Joe being picked up at the airport by his dad who was holding a "proud of my gay son!" sign or something. And so I posted it. Mystery solved.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Lief 🗽 on December 28, 2012, 01:57:32 AM
Yes, even though I don't for any of the British posters (which is just as well, since I doubt any of them talk that way anyway.)
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian. on December 28, 2012, 03:45:11 PM
National Enquirer?
For your own sake, Tender, please go back to posting polls.
For your own sake, Tender, please go back to posting polls.
mmmm salt
A bit of salt? More like the entire Danakil Depression.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: morgieb on December 28, 2012, 10:36:29 PM
"Heinrich-Schweitzer? We're selling a Presidency, for Christ's sake, not an imported lager."
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on December 29, 2012, 01:16:22 AM
I found the first three most funny:
1. Bushie will lose his job.
2. Bushie will get another call center job.
3. Bushie will not lose weight.
4. There will be myriad threads about the trends of random counties.
5. The majority of "women" on here will continue to have penises.
6. People will be dissatisfied with the results of the Oscars.
7. Old people will be confused by simple technology.
8. North and South Korea won't care much for each other.
9. Jews and Arabs won't care much for each other.
10. Northern states and Southern states won't care much for each other.
11. The rich will get richer.
12. The poor will procreate.
Same as it ever was....
2. Bushie will get another call center job.
3. Bushie will not lose weight.
4. There will be myriad threads about the trends of random counties.
5. The majority of "women" on here will continue to have penises.
6. People will be dissatisfied with the results of the Oscars.
7. Old people will be confused by simple technology.
8. North and South Korea won't care much for each other.
9. Jews and Arabs won't care much for each other.
10. Northern states and Southern states won't care much for each other.
11. The rich will get richer.
12. The poor will procreate.
Same as it ever was....
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Kitteh on December 30, 2012, 12:40:51 PM
I don't know if Germany has a political satire show like Private Eye or SNL
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: tmthforu94 on December 30, 2012, 09:44:49 PM
Hello... this isclarence. I am on my fiancees Iphone...I am traveling for christnas and Nye. ..my laptop comp is busted. Sorry for unannounced absence...vice chairman please hold votes in ny absence Happy new years everyone. Clarence
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Uncle Joe on December 31, 2012, 12:36:32 PM
Context needed:
My uncle jerks his own beef in his basement.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Lief 🗽 on December 31, 2012, 03:43:18 PM
AMERICA VOTES FOR FREEDOM
Rev. Cain carries 45 states, 58% of the popular vote
Rev. Cain carries 45 states, 58% of the popular vote
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: minionofmidas on January 01, 2013, 12:51:27 PM
Is there a Catholic Unionist Party?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Simfan34 on January 01, 2013, 01:14:23 PM
How is that funny? Because it's called CUP? That's lame.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Joe Republic on January 01, 2013, 07:44:48 PM
Uh no, because its naïveté was unintentionally comical.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Tetro Kornbluth on January 01, 2013, 09:08:04 PM
How is that funny? Because it's called CUP? That's lame.
No, because... well that's not how NI works. Actually the funniest bit was not what Lewis quoted, it was asking whether the UUP was a Catholic unionist party which to say the least, is a bit odd (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ulster_Unionist_Party#History).
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Simfan34 on January 01, 2013, 09:50:23 PM
No, I was asking if Unionist Catholics, today, voted UUP.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian. on January 01, 2013, 10:13:13 PM
No, I was asking if Unionist Catholics, today, voted UUP.
Don't Catholics who aren't explicitly Nationalist tend to vote Alliance?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: TJ in Oregon on January 01, 2013, 10:17:34 PM
Maybe some, but I think Alliance tends to do best in Protestant areas while very few Catholics vote for them (at least first preferences). Yet a decent portion of the Catholic population isn't explicitly nationalist (though Catholic unionists virtually don't exist). Are they just moderate SDLP voters for the most part?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Paul Kemp on January 01, 2013, 10:52:31 PM
()
I used some fancy photo editing app
I used some fancy photo editing app
To do what, add the hat?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: minionofmidas on January 02, 2013, 06:56:09 AM
How is that funny? Because it's called CUP? That's lame.
No, because... well that's not how NI works. Actually the funniest bit was not what Lewis quoted, it was asking whether the UUP was a Catholic unionist party which to say the least, is a bit odd (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ulster_Unionist_Party#History).
I put it here because we don't have a douse-yourself-in-sulphur-and-light-it mine yet.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Tetro Kornbluth on January 02, 2013, 10:25:51 AM
No, I was asking if Unionist Catholics, today, voted UUP.
Don't Catholics who aren't explicitly Nationalist tend to vote Alliance?
No. Nowadays they vote SDLP.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on January 02, 2013, 11:35:10 AM
That guy who did that stupid Hoover in 1932 was probably born in the 2000s. Polo-Iriqui Federation!
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Filuwaúrdjan on January 02, 2013, 01:00:09 PM
Context is not exactly required, but helps:
I read a Social Democratic editorial that said this makes the party look like a bunch of drunken villiage idiots, and I'm not even sure I disagree.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on January 03, 2013, 06:47:23 PM
You've got about twice as much as I have.
It's probably because you're a brown.
It's probably because you're a brown.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on January 05, 2013, 12:07:50 AM
It's not a presidential election forum almost 4 years in advance without some really stupid proposals.
LOL.
LOL.
Too bad WalterMitty doesn't post much anymore.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on January 06, 2013, 09:51:11 AM
Quayle does have experience on his side.
As much experience in the Congress as Jack Kennedy did when he sought the presidency.
And as much intelligence as Jack Kennedy after he "left" Presidency.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on January 06, 2013, 09:59:29 AM
Dammit it Kal, I was just coming here to post that...
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on January 06, 2013, 12:52:50 PM
This man is a hero and a patriot, and I applaud his selfless crusade against the libertarian menace.
It's a woman.
Not if the libertarians get their way.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Mechaman on January 06, 2013, 02:27:09 PM
Quayle does have experience on his side.
As much experience in the Congress as Jack Kennedy did when he sought the presidency.
And as much intelligence as Jack Kennedy after he "left" Presidency.
Mr. Kennedy's intelligence after he "left" the Presidency was at least very wide, being spreaded across Dallas.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian. on January 07, 2013, 06:21:37 PM
Opebo has never allowed the dictionary to box him in. Quite the opposite, prude :P
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Tender Branson on January 08, 2013, 01:04:31 AM
Man shoots depraved naked intruder who was found choking the family dog.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on January 08, 2013, 05:51:05 PM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=167509.0
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian. on January 08, 2013, 06:41:09 PM
Man shoots depraved naked intruder who was found choking the family dog.
Nix's response to this was also glorious.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on January 08, 2013, 07:12:07 PM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=167509.0
Just came here to post this :|
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on January 09, 2013, 08:30:07 AM
Just... what...
Plus, I quit playing those games for religious reasons.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on January 09, 2013, 08:43:40 AM
Just... what...
Plus, I quit playing those games for religious reasons.
Now he's just trolling for the sake of trolling.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Simfan34 on January 09, 2013, 12:25:00 PM
Man shoots depraved naked intruder who was found choking the family dog.
How many nude dog-chokers aren't depraved?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on January 09, 2013, 11:11:06 PM
The disadvantage, however, is that you are wearing a bow tie.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on January 10, 2013, 01:11:21 PM
didn't vote, no frogs.
We don't give a sh**t about your frogs.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian. on January 10, 2013, 01:40:32 PM
I see.
Trotskyism is a deranged and perverse corruption and perversion of the true doctrine of Marxism-Leninism-Sibbolethism and actually counts as a medical condition. The only known cure is trepanning via an ice axe.
Trotskyism is a deranged and perverse corruption and perversion of the true doctrine of Marxism-Leninism-Sibbolethism and actually counts as a medical condition. The only known cure is trepanning via an ice axe.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Badger on January 10, 2013, 09:51:36 PM
An old meme, but it made me laugh.
Pun intended?
I am not even going to jump into this juicy Santorum-Paul fight.
Pun intended?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Mr. Morden on January 11, 2013, 12:57:34 AM
It would be sad if our first female President was one who got their on the coattails of her husband.
But maybe she will reform education so that your children will learn the difference between "their" and "there."
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on January 11, 2013, 02:50:34 AM
I have a few questions to ask about the history of the forum.
1. How long has it been around?
1. How long has it been around?
The Forum was established in 1975 by Dave Leip in his mom's basement, where Mr. Leip was spending time discussing elections with his imaginary friends and family's cat, Peter. He was also pretty busy sticking his colorful election maps to the wall. The Forum went down after a fire accidentally started by Daniel, a bipolar family's dog. Deeply traumatized by this experience, Mr. Leip decided to put his map in safe place, which is the internet.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on January 11, 2013, 03:06:50 PM
I miss him. I want him back for good. (And it's utterly unmistakable that that's him. Hardly took an IP check.)
It was his choice, Lewis.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Marokai Backbeat on January 11, 2013, 06:39:26 PM
Is it just me, or does this thread reek of semen?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Goldwater on January 12, 2013, 10:28:53 PM
(
)
2016
The year is 2016. Nine armed terrorists affiliated with white supremacist groups have taken control of the DNC, threatening to hold the entire convention hostage until their demands are met. Their demands, including a return to the Southern Democratic platform of 1860 and the appointment of State Sen. Hillbilly32 and State Rep. David Duke as the party's ticket in November, are met. They are to keep the party officials hostage to ensure that the ticket receives serious funding. Democratic Senator Brian Schweitzer manages to escape from the convention when Bill Clinton creates a diversion and Mayor Rahm Emanuel cusses em out while Sen. Cory Booker overpowers one of them to escape out a back exit.
At the RNC, meanwhile, similar shenanigans are occurring. Rep. Peter King has stood up to nominate Sen. Marco Rubio as the party's nominee, with House Majority Leader Darrell Issa as his running mate. However, former Vermont Governor Jim Douglas enters another name into nomination: Rep. Oldiesfreak1854 of Michigan, noted historical revisionist. Rep. Oldiesfreak had previously run an unsuccessful presidential campaign, carrying only his home state of Michigan and Northern New England. Despite being crushed in the popular vote, it appears that (through rather undemocratic means) Oldiesfreak's followers (known as 'the freaks') have succeeded in controlling a majority of state delegations. Oldiesfreak is duly nominated, and chooses his fellow historical revisionist President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran, attempting to draw a sharp contrast with the current administration due to Gallup polling suggesting that President Ahmadinejad was overwhelmingly preferred by rural voters over incumbent President Obama.
Gov. Brian Sandoval, alongside Gov. Susana Martinez and Gov. Mitch Daniels for the Republicans and Sen. Brian Schweitzer, Sen. Cory Booker, and other minor Democrats who did not attend the convention, announce the formation of the National Union Party, which has as its main two planks non-racism and acceptance of history (the party would later add several more policy planks that allow it to remain cohesive, tending towards centrist/center-right fiscal views and centrist-to-left social views). National Union, while it has great popular support, is lacking in fundraising due to a takeover of the RNC apparatus by the freaks and the aforementioned situation with the Democrats.
On election day, early results are not favorable for the National Union. Oldiesfreak had unexpectedly pulled out victories in New Jersey (despite the vigorous campaigning of Gov. Chris Christie for the National Union ticket), Connecticut, and ME-02, while results from the South suggested that Hillbilly32 had an unprecedented 80% of the Southern vote, because he was popular amongst all southerners, including an inconceivable 98% of the black vote because black like him. Going through the night, the only state in the Midwest the National Union ticket wins is Illinois (due to splitting between downstate and the black vote in Chicago). However, NU dominates in the West.
FINAL ELECTORAL TOTALS
State Sen. Hillbilly32 (D-FL)/State Rep. David Duke (R-LA): 206 EVs, 31% of the PV
Sen. Brian Schweitzer (NU-MT)/Gov. Brian Sandoval (NU-NV): 198 EVs, 54% of the PV
Rep. Oldiesfreak1854 (R-MI)/former Pres. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad(A-IR): 134 EVs, 15% of the PV
2016
The year is 2016. Nine armed terrorists affiliated with white supremacist groups have taken control of the DNC, threatening to hold the entire convention hostage until their demands are met. Their demands, including a return to the Southern Democratic platform of 1860 and the appointment of State Sen. Hillbilly32 and State Rep. David Duke as the party's ticket in November, are met. They are to keep the party officials hostage to ensure that the ticket receives serious funding. Democratic Senator Brian Schweitzer manages to escape from the convention when Bill Clinton creates a diversion and Mayor Rahm Emanuel cusses em out while Sen. Cory Booker overpowers one of them to escape out a back exit.
At the RNC, meanwhile, similar shenanigans are occurring. Rep. Peter King has stood up to nominate Sen. Marco Rubio as the party's nominee, with House Majority Leader Darrell Issa as his running mate. However, former Vermont Governor Jim Douglas enters another name into nomination: Rep. Oldiesfreak1854 of Michigan, noted historical revisionist. Rep. Oldiesfreak had previously run an unsuccessful presidential campaign, carrying only his home state of Michigan and Northern New England. Despite being crushed in the popular vote, it appears that (through rather undemocratic means) Oldiesfreak's followers (known as 'the freaks') have succeeded in controlling a majority of state delegations. Oldiesfreak is duly nominated, and chooses his fellow historical revisionist President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran, attempting to draw a sharp contrast with the current administration due to Gallup polling suggesting that President Ahmadinejad was overwhelmingly preferred by rural voters over incumbent President Obama.
Gov. Brian Sandoval, alongside Gov. Susana Martinez and Gov. Mitch Daniels for the Republicans and Sen. Brian Schweitzer, Sen. Cory Booker, and other minor Democrats who did not attend the convention, announce the formation of the National Union Party, which has as its main two planks non-racism and acceptance of history (the party would later add several more policy planks that allow it to remain cohesive, tending towards centrist/center-right fiscal views and centrist-to-left social views). National Union, while it has great popular support, is lacking in fundraising due to a takeover of the RNC apparatus by the freaks and the aforementioned situation with the Democrats.
On election day, early results are not favorable for the National Union. Oldiesfreak had unexpectedly pulled out victories in New Jersey (despite the vigorous campaigning of Gov. Chris Christie for the National Union ticket), Connecticut, and ME-02, while results from the South suggested that Hillbilly32 had an unprecedented 80% of the Southern vote, because he was popular amongst all southerners, including an inconceivable 98% of the black vote because black like him. Going through the night, the only state in the Midwest the National Union ticket wins is Illinois (due to splitting between downstate and the black vote in Chicago). However, NU dominates in the West.
FINAL ELECTORAL TOTALS
State Sen. Hillbilly32 (D-FL)/State Rep. David Duke (R-LA): 206 EVs, 31% of the PV
Sen. Brian Schweitzer (NU-MT)/Gov. Brian Sandoval (NU-NV): 198 EVs, 54% of the PV
Rep. Oldiesfreak1854 (R-MI)/former Pres. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad(A-IR): 134 EVs, 15% of the PV
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on January 13, 2013, 08:14:10 AM
(
)
2016
The year is 2016. Nine armed terrorists affiliated with white supremacist groups have taken control of the DNC, threatening to hold the entire convention hostage until their demands are met. Their demands, including a return to the Southern Democratic platform of 1860 and the appointment of State Sen. Hillbilly32 and State Rep. David Duke as the party's ticket in November, are met. They are to keep the party officials hostage to ensure that the ticket receives serious funding. Democratic Senator Brian Schweitzer manages to escape from the convention when Bill Clinton creates a diversion and Mayor Rahm Emanuel cusses em out while Sen. Cory Booker overpowers one of them to escape out a back exit.
At the RNC, meanwhile, similar shenanigans are occurring. Rep. Peter King has stood up to nominate Sen. Marco Rubio as the party's nominee, with House Majority Leader Darrell Issa as his running mate. However, former Vermont Governor Jim Douglas enters another name into nomination: Rep. Oldiesfreak1854 of Michigan, noted historical revisionist. Rep. Oldiesfreak had previously run an unsuccessful presidential campaign, carrying only his home state of Michigan and Northern New England. Despite being crushed in the popular vote, it appears that (through rather undemocratic means) Oldiesfreak's followers (known as 'the freaks') have succeeded in controlling a majority of state delegations. Oldiesfreak is duly nominated, and as his running mate he selects the only other man on the world stage with such a blatant disregard for historical fact, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran, attempting to draw a sharp contrast with the current administration due to Gallup polling suggesting that President Ahmadinejad was overwhelmingly preferred by rural voters over incumbent President Obama.
Gov. Brian Sandoval, alongside Gov. Susana Martinez and Gov. Mitch Daniels for the Republicans and Sen. Brian Schweitzer, Sen. Cory Booker, and other minor Democrats who did not attend the convention, announce the formation of the National Union Party, which has as its main two planks non-racism and acceptance of history (the party would later add several more policy planks that allow it to remain cohesive, tending towards centrist/center-right fiscal views and centrist-to-left social views). National Union, while it has great popular support, is lacking in fundraising due to a takeover of the RNC apparatus by the freaks and the aforementioned situation with the Democrats.
On election day, early results are not favorable for the National Union. Oldiesfreak had unexpectedly pulled out victories in New Jersey (despite the vigorous campaigning of Gov. Chris Christie for the National Union ticket), Connecticut, and ME-02, while results from the South suggested that Hillbilly32 had an unprecedented 80% of the Southern vote, because he was popular amongst all southerners, including an inconceivable 98% of the black vote because black like him. Going through the night, the only state in the Midwest the National Union ticket wins is Illinois (due to splitting between downstate and the black vote in Chicago). However, NU dominates in the West and ends up with a majority of the popular vote.
State Sen. Hillbilly32 (D-FL)/State Rep. David Duke (R-LA): 206 EVs, 31% of the PV
Sen. Brian Schweitzer (NU-MT)/Gov. Brian Sandoval (NU-NV): 198 EVs, 54% of the PV
Rep. Oldiesfreak1854 (R-MI)/former Pres. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Abadgaran-IR): 134 EVs, 15% of the PV
2016
The year is 2016. Nine armed terrorists affiliated with white supremacist groups have taken control of the DNC, threatening to hold the entire convention hostage until their demands are met. Their demands, including a return to the Southern Democratic platform of 1860 and the appointment of State Sen. Hillbilly32 and State Rep. David Duke as the party's ticket in November, are met. They are to keep the party officials hostage to ensure that the ticket receives serious funding. Democratic Senator Brian Schweitzer manages to escape from the convention when Bill Clinton creates a diversion and Mayor Rahm Emanuel cusses em out while Sen. Cory Booker overpowers one of them to escape out a back exit.
At the RNC, meanwhile, similar shenanigans are occurring. Rep. Peter King has stood up to nominate Sen. Marco Rubio as the party's nominee, with House Majority Leader Darrell Issa as his running mate. However, former Vermont Governor Jim Douglas enters another name into nomination: Rep. Oldiesfreak1854 of Michigan, noted historical revisionist. Rep. Oldiesfreak had previously run an unsuccessful presidential campaign, carrying only his home state of Michigan and Northern New England. Despite being crushed in the popular vote, it appears that (through rather undemocratic means) Oldiesfreak's followers (known as 'the freaks') have succeeded in controlling a majority of state delegations. Oldiesfreak is duly nominated, and as his running mate he selects the only other man on the world stage with such a blatant disregard for historical fact, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran, attempting to draw a sharp contrast with the current administration due to Gallup polling suggesting that President Ahmadinejad was overwhelmingly preferred by rural voters over incumbent President Obama.
Gov. Brian Sandoval, alongside Gov. Susana Martinez and Gov. Mitch Daniels for the Republicans and Sen. Brian Schweitzer, Sen. Cory Booker, and other minor Democrats who did not attend the convention, announce the formation of the National Union Party, which has as its main two planks non-racism and acceptance of history (the party would later add several more policy planks that allow it to remain cohesive, tending towards centrist/center-right fiscal views and centrist-to-left social views). National Union, while it has great popular support, is lacking in fundraising due to a takeover of the RNC apparatus by the freaks and the aforementioned situation with the Democrats.
On election day, early results are not favorable for the National Union. Oldiesfreak had unexpectedly pulled out victories in New Jersey (despite the vigorous campaigning of Gov. Chris Christie for the National Union ticket), Connecticut, and ME-02, while results from the South suggested that Hillbilly32 had an unprecedented 80% of the Southern vote, because he was popular amongst all southerners, including an inconceivable 98% of the black vote because black like him. Going through the night, the only state in the Midwest the National Union ticket wins is Illinois (due to splitting between downstate and the black vote in Chicago). However, NU dominates in the West and ends up with a majority of the popular vote.
FINAL ELECTORAL TOTALS
State Sen. Hillbilly32 (D-FL)/State Rep. David Duke (R-LA): 206 EVs, 31% of the PV
Sen. Brian Schweitzer (NU-MT)/Gov. Brian Sandoval (NU-NV): 198 EVs, 54% of the PV
Rep. Oldiesfreak1854 (R-MI)/former Pres. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Abadgaran-IR): 134 EVs, 15% of the PV
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Kitteh on January 13, 2013, 01:09:21 PM
SJoyce is on a role here:
(context)
He could talk about the Native Americans could self-deport.
(context)
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Keystone Phil on January 13, 2013, 04:29:14 PM
Julio Jones with that interception made me cuss in front of my grandparents.
If your grandparents are anything like mine, I would be a former member of Planet Earth!!
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on January 14, 2013, 06:48:38 AM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=167720.msg3589337#msg3589337
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Uncle Joe on January 14, 2013, 12:16:19 PM
Julio Jones with that interception made me cuss in front of my grandparents.
If your grandparents are anything like mine, I would be a former member of Planet Earth!!
That's more absurd than funny.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Warren 4 Secretary of Everything on January 15, 2013, 09:39:28 PM
So... do we ban blacks?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Mr. Morden on January 15, 2013, 11:08:09 PM
BushOK cites Kenyan Law. First time this has been done since Specter's vote during the Clinton Impeachment trial.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on January 15, 2013, 11:21:53 PM
Maybe you could try earning a bit of money by selling sweets to children: you certainly look the part.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: 🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸 on January 16, 2013, 02:33:49 AM
Maybe you could try earning a bit of money by selling sweets to children: you certainly look the part.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on January 16, 2013, 07:23:05 AM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=167877.0
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on January 16, 2013, 11:04:21 AM
Context:
I was hoping for 7 years of silence, like Clarence Thomas.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Paul Kemp on January 16, 2013, 12:05:34 PM
Two hits in the Update:
It's possible that Bushie thinks Sports Illustrated's suimsuit edition qualifies as porn.
I believe all the "girls" here have penises, no?
We need to really strike at the root of this "porn addiction" thing? How often do you watch it, Bushie?
It's possible that Bushie thinks Sports Illustrated's suimsuit edition qualifies as porn.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on January 16, 2013, 09:02:48 PM
King's signature is ironic; he's not even a Republican.
Not ironic in the least. I hold a very moderate hero position. I believe that Obama is a closet Muslim socialist who wishes to destroy traditional America and make us follow Sharia, but I support this cause completely.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on January 17, 2013, 01:35:41 AM
"An openly gay woman will be elected to the senate in Wisconsin."
Beating a former Governor, to boot.
Considering that Wilma was not only the most sensible person on The Flintstones, but one of the most sensible characters on TV in the 1960s, why wouldn't the voters choose someone who knows how to have a gay old time?
Yabba Dabba Doo!
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on January 17, 2013, 08:44:14 AM
"An openly gay woman will be elected to the senate in Wisconsin."
Beating a former Governor, to boot.
Considering that Wilma was not only the most sensible person on The Flintstones, but one of the most sensible characters on TV in the 1960s, why wouldn't the voters choose someone who knows how to have a gay old time?
Yabba Dabba Doo!
I don't get it.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Paul Kemp on January 17, 2013, 08:09:09 PM
Last time I checked my name is not Monte Te'o.
MONTE!!!!
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: CatoMinor on January 17, 2013, 10:43:39 PM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=167938.0
The entire thread.
The entire thread.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자) on January 18, 2013, 12:06:14 AM
"An openly gay woman will be elected to the senate in Wisconsin."
Beating a former Governor, to boot.
Considering that Wilma was not only the most sensible person on The Flintstones, but one of the most sensible characters on TV in the 1960s, why wouldn't the voters choose someone who knows how to have a gay old time?
Yabba Dabba Doo!
I don't get it.
The opening and closing lyrics for the animated TV show The Flintstones were written in a time before the first thing people thought of when they heard "gay" was "homosexual".
[At start of show]
Flintstones, meet the Flintstones,
They're a modern stone age family.
From the town of Bedrock,
They're a page right out of history.
Let's ride with the family down the street.
Thru the courtesy of Fred's two feet.
When you're with the Flintstones,
have a yabba dabba doo time,
a dabba doo time,
we'll have a gay old time.
[At close of show]
Flintstones, meet the Flintstones,
They're a modern stone age family.
Come on, down to Bedrock,
It's a place right out of history.
Someday, maybe Fred will win the fight
And the cat will stay out for the night.
When you're with the Flintstones,
Have a yabba dabba doo time,
A dabba doo time.
We'll have a gay old time.
(The differences between the opening and closing verses were due to what was being shown on the screen as they were sung.)
The point I was making was that if you went back to the early 1960s or earlier and told them a gay woman would win an election, they'd wonder why you were making a fuss over her being cheerful.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Lief 🗽 on January 18, 2013, 12:11:10 AM
Ban Lief for trolling. Now.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자) on January 18, 2013, 12:17:45 AM
I once invested a lot of time reading this online life blog of some guy from Oklahoma who had about 20 jobs in the span of 2 years, as well as 5 broken engagements. I felt emotionally cheated when I realized how many holes there were in the narrative, and how it couldn't possibly be true.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on January 18, 2013, 07:21:55 AM
"An openly gay woman will be elected to the senate in Wisconsin."
Beating a former Governor, to boot.
Considering that Wilma was not only the most sensible person on The Flintstones, but one of the most sensible characters on TV in the 1960s, why wouldn't the voters choose someone who knows how to have a gay old time?
Yabba Dabba Doo!
I don't get it.
The opening and closing lyrics for the animated TV show The Flintstones were written in a time before the first thing people thought of when they heard "gay" was "homosexual".
[At start of show]
Flintstones, meet the Flintstones,
They're a modern stone age family.
From the town of Bedrock,
They're a page right out of history.
Let's ride with the family down the street.
Thru the courtesy of Fred's two feet.
When you're with the Flintstones,
have a yabba dabba doo time,
a dabba doo time,
we'll have a gay old time.
[At close of show]
Flintstones, meet the Flintstones,
They're a modern stone age family.
Come on, down to Bedrock,
It's a place right out of history.
Someday, maybe Fred will win the fight
And the cat will stay out for the night.
When you're with the Flintstones,
Have a yabba dabba doo time,
A dabba doo time.
We'll have a gay old time.
(The differences between the opening and closing verses were due to what was being shown on the screen as they were sung.)
The point I was making was that if you went back to the early 1960s or earlier and told them a gay woman would win an election, they'd wonder why you were making a fuss over her being cheerful.
It's that old?!? :o
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY on January 18, 2013, 09:50:51 AM
"An openly gay woman will be elected to the senate in Wisconsin."
Beating a former Governor, to boot.
Considering that Wilma was not only the most sensible person on The Flintstones, but one of the most sensible characters on TV in the 1960s, why wouldn't the voters choose someone who knows how to have a gay old time?
Yabba Dabba Doo!
I don't get it.
The opening and closing lyrics for the animated TV show The Flintstones were written in a time before the first thing people thought of when they heard "gay" was "homosexual".
[At start of show]
Flintstones, meet the Flintstones,
They're a modern stone age family.
From the town of Bedrock,
They're a page right out of history.
Let's ride with the family down the street.
Thru the courtesy of Fred's two feet.
When you're with the Flintstones,
have a yabba dabba doo time,
a dabba doo time,
we'll have a gay old time.
[At close of show]
Flintstones, meet the Flintstones,
They're a modern stone age family.
Come on, down to Bedrock,
It's a place right out of history.
Someday, maybe Fred will win the fight
And the cat will stay out for the night.
When you're with the Flintstones,
Have a yabba dabba doo time,
A dabba doo time.
We'll have a gay old time.
(The differences between the opening and closing verses were due to what was being shown on the screen as they were sung.)
The point I was making was that if you went back to the early 1960s or earlier and told them a gay woman would win an election, they'd wonder why you were making a fuss over her being cheerful.
It's that old?!? :o
It plays on JetBlue TV, so...
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Keystone Phil on January 18, 2013, 10:27:36 AM
Antonio is my boy but the young bull is really showing his age here, not knowing The Flintstone's are several decades old.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on January 18, 2013, 11:45:18 AM
Actually I've gotten the vibe most people in the age range here think the Flintstones is from the 80s rather than 60s. Though the theme song is indeed a tip off.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on January 18, 2013, 12:45:32 PM
Happy 11th birthday!
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Beet on January 18, 2013, 05:31:43 PM
15 rounds for the elites but 7 for the people. Interesting.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Kitteh on January 18, 2013, 06:37:30 PM
Bugger their baby sisters, just like they always have done. It gets dark and lonesome in those mountain valleys.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자) on January 19, 2013, 02:37:26 AM
It's that old?!? :o
It premiered in 1960. It's old enough that before they were being used to sell vitamins, they were selling Winston cigarettes.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: courts on January 19, 2013, 07:22:38 AM
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on January 19, 2013, 11:44:47 AM
Of course, in the united states, that money isn't used on capital expense but rather to provide lavish welfare schemes to the chosen unproductives.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: courts on January 19, 2013, 12:41:57 PM
Of course, in the united states, that money isn't used on capital expense but rather to provide lavish welfare schemes to the chosen unproductives.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on January 19, 2013, 12:45:39 PM
FTR, I am not black.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: courts on January 19, 2013, 12:47:26 PM
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Goldwater on January 19, 2013, 09:15:29 PM
I'm a postmoderate. We pomos are different from traditional moderates. We place everything on a political matrix in the shape of a sphere. We place any sentence that can be identified as a "political stance" on the surface of said sphere as an extremist position. We then fill the rest of the sphere with empty space and place our position at the center.
The centered position is formed by collecting all the statements of the sphere surface, breaking them down as words, and finding the ten most common words spoken. These ten words the form the ten word sentence of our belief on any said issue.
The centered position is formed by collecting all the statements of the sphere surface, breaking them down as words, and finding the ten most common words spoken. These ten words the form the ten word sentence of our belief on any said issue.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on January 19, 2013, 10:04:36 PM
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on January 20, 2013, 03:37:24 PM
It's that old?!? :o
It premiered in 1960. It's old enough that before they were being used to sell vitamins, they were selling Winston cigarettes.
I guess that makes them even more prehistoric. :P
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on January 20, 2013, 03:39:45 PM
Anyhow...
Gubernatorial Election:
[ 2 ] Tmthforu94
[ 1 ] drj101
Assembly Election:
[ 1 ] drj10
[ 2 ] Gass3268
[ 3 ] TexasDemocrat
[ 4 ] Clinton1996
[ 5 ] Write-In: someone who isn't a goddamn pony fycking creeper
[ 6 ] Write-In: a nosepeg, a pair of disposable rubber gloves and a shower
[ 7 ] Write-In: Dear God, what did I ever do to deserve this?
[ 8 ] Write-In: I mean, other than that, obviously...
[ 9 ] Write-In: Very well. Point taken...
[ 10 ] a Person
[ 11 ] Write-In: I feel dirty now
[ 12 ] Write-In: so, so, so dirty...
[ 2 ] Tmthforu94
[ 1 ] drj101
Assembly Election:
[ 1 ] drj10
[ 2 ] Gass3268
[ 3 ] TexasDemocrat
[ 4 ] Clinton1996
[ 5 ] Write-In: someone who isn't a goddamn pony fycking creeper
[ 6 ] Write-In: a nosepeg, a pair of disposable rubber gloves and a shower
[ 7 ] Write-In: Dear God, what did I ever do to deserve this?
[ 8 ] Write-In: I mean, other than that, obviously...
[ 9 ] Write-In: Very well. Point taken...
[ 10 ] a Person
[ 11 ] Write-In: I feel dirty now
[ 12 ] Write-In: so, so, so dirty...
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on January 20, 2013, 03:41:14 PM
Attacking adult males for liking My Little Pony is very reactionary and is a defense of traditional gender roles.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on January 20, 2013, 03:52:45 PM
This is why I almost always go to Saturday evening mass: I never know when a crazy game of computer Monopoly can go until 3 AM Sunday morning!
Bushie isn't playing computer Monopoly, Phil.
()
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Napoleon on January 20, 2013, 03:55:05 PM
Depends. Are you still confused about your sexuality? Having lady troubles? Things we could actual comment on? Just don't make it like Memphis's :P
Well, I just got dumped a couple weeks ago and now have a girlfriend who lives in Texas if that counts for anything
Uh oh, you're Manti Te'O, Jr. now?
Are you calling me a brown?
If you have a girlfriend in TX and you have never met her, I'm calling you a dumb.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on January 20, 2013, 04:02:21 PM
Attacking adult males for liking My Little Pony is very reactionary and is a defense of traditional gender roles.
It's not a gender issue. A 29-year old woman liking a pony cartoon would be just as ridiculous as you are.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on January 20, 2013, 04:05:23 PM
Attacking adult males for liking My Little Pony is very reactionary and is a defense of traditional gender roles.
It's not a gender issue. A 29-year old woman liking a pony cartoon would be just as ridiculous as you are.
I'm sure my 32-year old female co-worker who I frequently chat about with the show and share pony .gifs/photoshops through IM at work all day would disagree with that.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Kitteh on January 20, 2013, 04:20:20 PM
Attacking adult males for liking My Little Pony is very reactionary and is a defense of traditional gender roles.
It's not a gender issue. A 29-year old woman liking a pony cartoon would be just as ridiculous as you are.
I'm sure my 32-year old female co-worker who I frequently chat about with the show and share pony .gifs/photoshops through IM at work all day would disagree with that.
There's only one possible answer to such kind of post:
Shut up.
()
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on January 20, 2013, 04:22:15 PM
Attacking adult males for liking My Little Pony is very reactionary and is a defense of traditional gender roles.
It's not a gender issue. A 29-year old woman liking a pony cartoon would be just as ridiculous as you are.
I'm sure my 32-year old female co-worker who I frequently chat about with the show and share pony .gifs/photoshops through IM at work all day would disagree with that.
There's only one possible answer to such kind of post:
Shut up.
()
Incredibly witty response exactly on Zack's level. Good show, sir.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Uncle Joe on January 20, 2013, 04:23:31 PM
Context
because Californian Tony is on his period
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Simfan34 on January 20, 2013, 06:37:39 PM
Attacking adult males for liking My Little Pony is very reactionary and is a defense of traditional gender roles.
And age roles, as well.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on January 20, 2013, 07:16:03 PM
Attacking adult males for liking My Little Pony is very reactionary and is a defense of traditional gender roles.
Agreed, what kind of man wouldn't like a show about six hot lesbians learning to love each other more?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oakvale on January 20, 2013, 07:33:58 PM
cc: Deluge
Attacking adult males for liking My Little Pony is very reactionary and is a defense of traditional gender roles.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: King on January 20, 2013, 07:50:24 PM
Adults who like the for boys Adventure Time are just as lame as the bronies. There's nothingIn these shows that an adult with no children can find useful. Read a book. Expand your knowledge.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: AndrewTX on January 20, 2013, 08:05:17 PM
I was with my niece yesterday, and My Little Pony was on, and I really can't see how any adults are watching this. At no point, did this look like it was meant for anyone over the age of 10. No adult humor, no nothing.. it was just creepy
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자) on January 20, 2013, 08:48:42 PM
Attacking adult males for liking My Little Pony is very reactionary and is a defense of traditional gender roles.
Agreed, what kind of man wouldn't like a show about six hot lesbians learning to love each other more?
Gay, not that there's anything wrong with that.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oakvale on January 20, 2013, 10:18:44 PM
Here's something that I think might result in some extreme Values Dissonance: in my whole subculture and scene, things like your native culture and traditions are not supposed to matter. Because one you get involved with the subculture, THAT becomes your culture. Where you came from is washed away. Even if you were born into some specialized ethnic community, that is not what you "belong" to anymore. Race, ethnicity and background no longer matter. You know my whole neutral hoodie/band shirt/jeans outfit? People wear that EVERYWHERE. You can go to a show in Europe or even South Africa and people will be dressed the exact same way. And it helps that it's neutral and not tied to any type of region or culture and also doesn't carry any racial or class connotations, etc. You know my dislike of cliques and fraternities? It's pretty much based on the same type of thinking. Now that's not to say all sorts of categories within that culture develop (as this (http://www.dobi.nu/yourscenesucks/scenesters.htm) makes clear), but it does mean that one doesn't attach themselves to an ethnic identity anymore, and that makes any type of purely nominal denominational affiliation meaningless. It's part of a greater stream of acceptability and equality, similar to Galatians 3:28, just change "Christ Jesus" to "punk/hardcore/indie/emo".
What this does mean is that if someone is a Christian (and mind you, atheism/agnosticism is closer to the norm), they'll probably identify as just "Christian" (or something like "Christ follower") and if they have a church it'll be something neutral in terms of race and ethnic connotations. So essentially that means no Catholics, at least for that reason mentioned above. And to actually be a Catholic, this means basically accepting things like patriarchism and this:
which run COMPLETELY afoul to the acceptable cultural mores. The result? If you're involved you won't be Catholic, and if you're really in deep in the scene it's not likely you'll know someone in it whose Catholic, and thus will not be familiar with someone clinging to denominational affiliation based on culture and tradition alone. Such a premise becomes very alien and difficult to comprehend because the fact is, you just don't think that way. And people who are Christian are going to want a similar style and attitude, race, gender and ethnicity are meaningless, Christ is open to EVERYONE, and that means no type of "ethnic" practices. There are some other factors involved, including the basic fact that your typical Catholic church is going to be full of mostly just olds on any given Sunday, but that's the jist of the whole thing.
Now before someone points out that this is rather hypocritical for something that appeals pretty much only to middle to upper class white people, well yes, that's true. But it should at least give some insight into the mindset involved. So when PR is saying I have no respect for history, tradition and culture, well perhaps, but one must realize that's because I'm from somewhere where the rule is to NOT do that.
What this does mean is that if someone is a Christian (and mind you, atheism/agnosticism is closer to the norm), they'll probably identify as just "Christian" (or something like "Christ follower") and if they have a church it'll be something neutral in terms of race and ethnic connotations. So essentially that means no Catholics, at least for that reason mentioned above. And to actually be a Catholic, this means basically accepting things like patriarchism and this:
It also means there is zero tradition of accepted schism where you go off and do your own thing, while that right is central to the Protestant tradition.
which run COMPLETELY afoul to the acceptable cultural mores. The result? If you're involved you won't be Catholic, and if you're really in deep in the scene it's not likely you'll know someone in it whose Catholic, and thus will not be familiar with someone clinging to denominational affiliation based on culture and tradition alone. Such a premise becomes very alien and difficult to comprehend because the fact is, you just don't think that way. And people who are Christian are going to want a similar style and attitude, race, gender and ethnicity are meaningless, Christ is open to EVERYONE, and that means no type of "ethnic" practices. There are some other factors involved, including the basic fact that your typical Catholic church is going to be full of mostly just olds on any given Sunday, but that's the jist of the whole thing.
Now before someone points out that this is rather hypocritical for something that appeals pretty much only to middle to upper class white people, well yes, that's true. But it should at least give some insight into the mindset involved. So when PR is saying I have no respect for history, tradition and culture, well perhaps, but one must realize that's because I'm from somewhere where the rule is to NOT do that.
Hahahaha, are you quite sure you want to use this as an argument against the Catholic Church?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Swedish Rainbow Capitalist Cheese on January 21, 2013, 10:06:57 AM
Also, I'm straight, if any of you were wondering.
I don't think we ever would've figured that out had you not stated it.
Never would have taken 20RP12 for a good snarker before.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian. on January 21, 2013, 01:50:59 PM
Adults who like the for boys Adventure Time are just as lame as the bronies. There's nothingIn these shows that an adult with no children can find useful. Read a book. Expand your knowledge.
I'm not really interested in the ponies and I still don't know what Adventure Time actually is, but I find the idea that 'proper adults' should be able to divine some kind of utility-value (however defined) out of things they read or watch, and that the extent to which they admit of doing so has a direct correlation to the ostensible target audience age, a little questionable.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oakvale on January 21, 2013, 03:55:56 PM
The United Methodist Church uses liturgical colors, BRTD.
And the one I linked to has their own app available for iPhones and Androids.
Which is, of course, a more important indicator.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on January 21, 2013, 04:55:28 PM
I have a picture of Fluttershy on my cubicle wall.
Stop giving North Dakota a bad name. Rick Berg was enough.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Small Business Owner of Any Repute on January 21, 2013, 07:26:47 PM
Adults who like the for boys Adventure Time are just as lame as the bronies. There's nothingIn these shows that an adult with no children can find useful. Read a book. Expand your knowledge.
Adventure Time is actually quite good if you've blocked off an afternoon of quality time with your water pipe. Kids shows are typically made with the intent of entertaining grownups, since its grownups that often make the viewing decisions for kids, especially young kids.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on January 22, 2013, 08:21:45 AM
(
)
Franken: 480
Oldies: 58
Franken pulls out victories in much of the Midwest due to illegal felons voting, and wins the racist vote in the South due to being a white Democrat (the racist party!) running against a black Republican.
Franken: 480
Oldies: 58
Franken pulls out victories in much of the Midwest due to illegal felons voting, and wins the racist vote in the South due to being a white Democrat (the racist party!) running against a black Republican.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on January 22, 2013, 09:31:32 AM
Why do Europeans have such difficulty with guns?
Yup, everybody deals with anger as they can. Europeans with sarcasm, Americans by shooting someone. ;)
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Paul Kemp on January 22, 2013, 11:34:47 AM
()
Franken: 480
Oldies: 58
Franken pulls out victories in much of the Midwest due to illegal felons voting, and wins the racist vote in the South due to being a white Democrat (the racist party!) running against a black Republican.
Franken: 480
Oldies: 58
Franken pulls out victories in much of the Midwest due to illegal felons voting, and wins the racist vote in the South due to being a white Democrat (the racist party!) running against a black Republican.
Oldies is a black?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on January 22, 2013, 12:36:53 PM
()
Franken: 480
Oldies: 58
Franken pulls out victories in much of the Midwest due to illegal felons voting, and wins the racist vote in the South due to being a white Democrat (the racist party!) running against a black Republican.
Franken: 480
Oldies: 58
Franken pulls out victories in much of the Midwest due to illegal felons voting, and wins the racist vote in the South due to being a white Democrat (the racist party!) running against a black Republican.
Oldies is a black?
No, but he incorrectly believed we think so.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Хahar 🤔 on January 22, 2013, 12:47:32 PM
Adults who like the for boys Adventure Time are just as lame as the bronies. There's nothingIn these shows that an adult with no children can find useful. Read a book. Expand your knowledge.
http://www.avclub.com/articles/i-remember-you,86397/
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Donerail on January 22, 2013, 03:39:19 PM
()
Franken: 480
Oldies: 58
Franken pulls out victories in much of the Midwest due to illegal felons voting, and wins the racist vote in the South due to being a white Democrat (the racist party!) running against a black Republican.
Franken: 480
Oldies: 58
Franken pulls out victories in much of the Midwest due to illegal felons voting, and wins the racist vote in the South due to being a white Democrat (the racist party!) running against a black Republican.
Oldies is a black?
But contrary to popular misconception, I am indeed white, not black.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on January 22, 2013, 03:40:02 PM
The thing is, I'm the one who started the 'Oldies is a black' meme
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Napoleon on January 23, 2013, 02:48:54 AM
This is kind of a weird correlation.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Bacon King on January 23, 2013, 05:29:21 PM
Ramsey has some strange ideas, like advising people to pay off their smallest debt first, regardless of interest rate. WTF? You have to take every mathematical advantage possible to get ahead today.
I've heard him say that he recommends it because it makes it psychologically easier to stay on track paying off debt. Personally I say just suck it up and keep the debt repayments automatic.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on January 24, 2013, 02:10:06 AM
Context needed:
February 27, 2005, 02:02:35 pm
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on January 24, 2013, 07:32:41 AM
from great atlas forum i learn that there are no gays in the countryside
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Napoleon on January 25, 2013, 02:01:11 AM
out of all of them, which would you say is your best?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Simfan34 on January 25, 2013, 04:26:03 PM
EDIT: I just realized that this might have been what you meant, i.e. worth it for her even if she gets burnt up afterwards. :P But, yeah, that wouldn't happen either.
Yes, I was formulating a pick-up line before I travel to the sub-continent - 'hey sweet stuff, my manly allurements are so prodigious and overwhelming you won't mind the inevitable subsequent immolation'. (don't worry, I would keep it lighthearted by working my eyebrows up and down or winking broadly - perhaps both if she looks like a 'go-er')
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Lief 🗽 on January 25, 2013, 04:51:22 PM
and people seriously argue that opebo isn't our best poster.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Small Business Owner of Any Repute on January 25, 2013, 11:30:45 PM
A new SUSA poll shows these awful numbers for Christie:
Do you approve or disapprove of the job Chris Christie is doing as Governor?
Approve 38%
Disapprove 56%
Should Governor Chris Christie run for President of the United States in 2012? Not run for President? Or do you not know enough to say?
Should Run 15%
Should Not 73%
Compared to Barack Obama, would Christie be a better President? A worse President? Or would he be about the same?
Better 29%
Worse 53%
About The Same 14%
Compared to George W. Bush, would Christie be a better President? A worse President? Or would he be about the same?
Better 25%
Worse 30%
About The Same 32%
http://www.surveyusa.com/client/PollReport.aspx?g=5ef5275c-3166-493d-aecb-3d856c8705a5 (http://www.surveyusa.com/client/PollReport.aspx?g=5ef5275c-3166-493d-aecb-3d856c8705a5)
Do you approve or disapprove of the job Chris Christie is doing as Governor?
Approve 38%
Disapprove 56%
Should Governor Chris Christie run for President of the United States in 2012? Not run for President? Or do you not know enough to say?
Should Run 15%
Should Not 73%
Compared to Barack Obama, would Christie be a better President? A worse President? Or would he be about the same?
Better 29%
Worse 53%
About The Same 14%
Compared to George W. Bush, would Christie be a better President? A worse President? Or would he be about the same?
Better 25%
Worse 30%
About The Same 32%
http://www.surveyusa.com/client/PollReport.aspx?g=5ef5275c-3166-493d-aecb-3d856c8705a5 (http://www.surveyusa.com/client/PollReport.aspx?g=5ef5275c-3166-493d-aecb-3d856c8705a5)
I have a map in progress showing the ability of state governors to get good results for themselves. This looks like an outlier, and it is hard to see how Christie could suddenly become as unpopular as Scott, Kasich, Walker, or Snyder.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Paul Kemp on January 26, 2013, 12:30:16 AM
I enjoyed this exchange . . .
And is this Utah "Bushie" poster serious?
Why wouldn't I be serious?
And is this Utah "Bushie" poster serious?
Why wouldn't I be serious?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on January 26, 2013, 01:07:46 AM
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Mr. Morden on January 26, 2013, 05:59:58 AM
What I love about this story is every single player lived up to their stereo type. Gun nut conservative dad. Disrespectful liberal daughter. Busy body neighborhood gossip. Intrusive liberal social worker. I was rolling laughing.
That's because stereotypes are real
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on January 26, 2013, 09:16:01 AM
What I love about this story is every single player lived up to their stereo type. Gun nut conservative dad. Disrespectful liberal daughter. Busy body neighborhood gossip. Intrusive liberal social worker. I was rolling laughing.
That's because stereotypes are real
You should know. You worked your ass off to become one.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Bacon King on January 26, 2013, 11:55:37 AM
He doesn't take well to criticism does he?
Bqhatevwr
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Paul Kemp on January 26, 2013, 12:30:17 PM
He doesn't take well to criticism does he?
Bqhatevwr
Very well played by the gentleman from the Keystone state.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on January 26, 2013, 05:47:48 PM
()
Franken: 480
Oldies: 58
Franken pulls out victories in much of the Midwest due to illegal felons voting, and wins the racist vote in the South due to being a white Democrat (the racist party!) running against a black Republican.
Franken: 480
Oldies: 58
Franken pulls out victories in much of the Midwest due to illegal felons voting, and wins the racist vote in the South due to being a white Democrat (the racist party!) running against a black Republican.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on January 26, 2013, 08:35:55 PM
Mr. President, I believe you legally changed your residency to the Pacific, if I'm not mistaken, so I can't count your vote.
I had a blonde moment... Considering how dark my hair is, that means a big cock up
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Kitteh on January 26, 2013, 09:12:45 PM
I'm sure he would have voted Republican in the 1991 Louisiana gubernatorial election so he could vote against the racist Democrats.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Uncle Joe on January 27, 2013, 11:07:17 AM
Clarence probably just came.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook on January 27, 2013, 06:07:42 PM
If evolution is real, then how was The Flintstones made?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Napoleon on January 27, 2013, 06:37:11 PM
"Somebody is going to eat my p*ssy or I’m going to cut your ing throat."
Really more apropos than E pluribus Unum or In God We Trust, n'est-ce pas?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on January 27, 2013, 06:43:26 PM
BBW and BDSM together...I don't know if my heart or my Cialis can keep up!
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Simfan34 on January 27, 2013, 08:16:30 PM
Oh, definitely, freedom is horrible. Have you ever been to Subway? Christ, just give me the best sandwich you got, don't ask me to pick literally thousands of combinations of sandwich ingredients. Freedom is a blight on society, we'd all be a lot better off with significantly less of it.
Its been a pretty good day. I went grocery shopping this morning and got some fresh food, such as fruits and vegetables and lean meats, etc. I'm looking forward to fixing those this week.
Thanks for the grocery shopping update. I do that a lot myself! What was in the etcetera pile? Potato chips? Cheetos (damn those are good, and I get a pang when I walk by them, and I have not grab one of my hands that is reaching out for them with the other to stop myself). But I have been Cheetos free for about 6 months. Oh, the willpower!
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian. on January 28, 2013, 02:11:41 PM
The Hipster church has been hyped way too much on this forum to be hipster anymore. It's just a mainstream church that has a liberal worship practices.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oldiesfreak1854 on January 28, 2013, 02:27:39 PM
A new SUSA poll shows these awful numbers for Christie:
Do you approve or disapprove of the job Chris Christie is doing as Governor?
Approve 38%
Disapprove 56%
Should Governor Chris Christie run for President of the United States in 2012? Not run for President? Or do you not know enough to say?
Should Run 15%
Should Not 73%
Compared to Barack Obama, would Christie be a better President? A worse President? Or would he be about the same?
Better 29%
Worse 53%
About The Same 14%
Compared to George W. Bush, would Christie be a better President? A worse President? Or would he be about the same?
Better 25%
Worse 30%
About The Same 32%
http://www.surveyusa.com/client/PollReport.aspx?g=5ef5275c-3166-493d-aecb-3d856c8705a5 (http://www.surveyusa.com/client/PollReport.aspx?g=5ef5275c-3166-493d-aecb-3d856c8705a5)
Do you approve or disapprove of the job Chris Christie is doing as Governor?
Approve 38%
Disapprove 56%
Should Governor Chris Christie run for President of the United States in 2012? Not run for President? Or do you not know enough to say?
Should Run 15%
Should Not 73%
Compared to Barack Obama, would Christie be a better President? A worse President? Or would he be about the same?
Better 29%
Worse 53%
About The Same 14%
Compared to George W. Bush, would Christie be a better President? A worse President? Or would he be about the same?
Better 25%
Worse 30%
About The Same 32%
http://www.surveyusa.com/client/PollReport.aspx?g=5ef5275c-3166-493d-aecb-3d856c8705a5 (http://www.surveyusa.com/client/PollReport.aspx?g=5ef5275c-3166-493d-aecb-3d856c8705a5)
I have a map in progress showing the ability of state governors to get good results for themselves. This looks like an outlier, and it is hard to see how Christie could suddenly become as unpopular as Scott, Kasich, Walker, or Snyder.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Swedish Rainbow Capitalist Cheese on January 28, 2013, 04:29:57 PM
Silvio's moral lapses are allowed because they represent the core of our italian values. But I can see some of you jealous by his love and CONSENSUAL affairs with young laydies, being the majority of you nerds whose idea of sex is talking about the gerrymandering in Maryland.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Napoleon on January 28, 2013, 05:39:08 PM
Was conveniently posted directly into the goldmine, but I will make it official.
I have a map in progress showing the ability of state governors to get good results for themselves. This looks like an outlier, and it is hard to see how Christie could suddenly become as unpopular as Scott, Kasich, Walker, or Snyder.
Exactly. This is why I don't trust SurveyUSA polls in the first place. Their first poll of Christie's approval had him underwater by 33-63% margin, if I remember correctly.
A new SUSA poll shows these awful numbers for Christie:
Do you approve or disapprove of the job Chris Christie is doing as Governor?
Approve 38%
Disapprove 56%
Should Governor Chris Christie run for President of the United States in 2012? Not run for President? Or do you not know enough to say?
Should Run 15%
Should Not 73%
Compared to Barack Obama, would Christie be a better President? A worse President? Or would he be about the same?
Better 29%
Worse 53%
About The Same 14%
Compared to George W. Bush, would Christie be a better President? A worse President? Or would he be about the same?
Better 25%
Worse 30%
About The Same 32%
http://www.surveyusa.com/client/PollReport.aspx?g=5ef5275c-3166-493d-aecb-3d856c8705a5 (http://www.surveyusa.com/client/PollReport.aspx?g=5ef5275c-3166-493d-aecb-3d856c8705a5)
Do you approve or disapprove of the job Chris Christie is doing as Governor?
Approve 38%
Disapprove 56%
Should Governor Chris Christie run for President of the United States in 2012? Not run for President? Or do you not know enough to say?
Should Run 15%
Should Not 73%
Compared to Barack Obama, would Christie be a better President? A worse President? Or would he be about the same?
Better 29%
Worse 53%
About The Same 14%
Compared to George W. Bush, would Christie be a better President? A worse President? Or would he be about the same?
Better 25%
Worse 30%
About The Same 32%
http://www.surveyusa.com/client/PollReport.aspx?g=5ef5275c-3166-493d-aecb-3d856c8705a5 (http://www.surveyusa.com/client/PollReport.aspx?g=5ef5275c-3166-493d-aecb-3d856c8705a5)
I have a map in progress showing the ability of state governors to get good results for themselves. This looks like an outlier, and it is hard to see how Christie could suddenly become as unpopular as Scott, Kasich, Walker, or Snyder.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on January 28, 2013, 05:59:04 PM
Silvio's moral lapses are allowed because they represent the core of our italian values. But I can see some of you jealous by his love and CONSENSUAL affairs with young laydies, being the majority of you nerds whose idea of sex is talking about the gerrymandering in Maryland.
Was it deleted? ??? Shame, it was a pretty great post honestly. ;D
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Paul Kemp on January 29, 2013, 12:17:28 AM
I still very much consider myself an "American-African" and a "Kenyan".
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on January 29, 2013, 01:56:04 AM
This or the Deluge, I'm not sure.
Quote from: Simfan
A damn shame.
I don't I do not understand the accusations leveled against me. It seems that certain people believe they can tell me what what and what not to believe, never mind the fact these were the very same people who insisted quite strongly that my earlier beliefs were untrue. It should be obvious I am no leftist. This whole charade, indeed, was an attempt to prove the ludicrousness of such thought, and indeed, the fact that I believed in what I have said. Not a single thing I have said past 5:30 on the 21st is sincere, as it should be clear. Conversely, everything I have said prior to that point, I truly believe. I had hoped to continue with this experiment. But that is clearly impossible now.
What is also clear, however, is that there is a large number of people here who cannot, for some reason, accept any opinion issued by myself. Another person might make accusations of racism. But I of course make no such claim. But I continue to be perplexed by these people, who, after exhibiting views similar to their own, proved no more receptive. Under no circumstances shall they ever accept my views as being authentic, much less of merit.
I am insulted, furthermore, at the implication of putting on some sort of show, or contriving some kind of persona. I am sorry if my personality does not neatly fit into your beliefs of what certain people should and should be like, and what they should and should not believe. If you want to believe it is impossible of a person of my background, or my age, or whatever, to take an interest in the traditional ways of the world, in its art, in its music, in its culture, or to be pessimistic about the capacity of the average person to be a responsible stakeholder in a democracy, or to have a fondness for bow ties and tweed jackets, feel free to do so. But know that I do.
I had first hoped to stem of what I discerned was a rising wave of antipathy by the whole "Simfan 2.0" idea, where I would keep my mouth shut on the beliefs I thought were particularly out of the mainstream. This of course was an abject failure, mostly because of my own distaste for self-censorship. This whole volte-face was meant to provide a counter point, to see of those critics would change their tune, and I see they have not.
Thus there is no point in tailoring my message of curtailing perceived excesses, for those who are opposed will remain opposed. I apologise to those who shall accept it, for my bad faith and my two-facedness. I sincerely hope I can regain your trust. In turn, I hope, you shall be able to accept me for who I am and what I believe.
Javid Shah, support the family, fund the arts, etc, etc.
I don't I do not understand the accusations leveled against me. It seems that certain people believe they can tell me what what and what not to believe, never mind the fact these were the very same people who insisted quite strongly that my earlier beliefs were untrue. It should be obvious I am no leftist. This whole charade, indeed, was an attempt to prove the ludicrousness of such thought, and indeed, the fact that I believed in what I have said. Not a single thing I have said past 5:30 on the 21st is sincere, as it should be clear. Conversely, everything I have said prior to that point, I truly believe. I had hoped to continue with this experiment. But that is clearly impossible now.
What is also clear, however, is that there is a large number of people here who cannot, for some reason, accept any opinion issued by myself. Another person might make accusations of racism. But I of course make no such claim. But I continue to be perplexed by these people, who, after exhibiting views similar to their own, proved no more receptive. Under no circumstances shall they ever accept my views as being authentic, much less of merit.
I am insulted, furthermore, at the implication of putting on some sort of show, or contriving some kind of persona. I am sorry if my personality does not neatly fit into your beliefs of what certain people should and should be like, and what they should and should not believe. If you want to believe it is impossible of a person of my background, or my age, or whatever, to take an interest in the traditional ways of the world, in its art, in its music, in its culture, or to be pessimistic about the capacity of the average person to be a responsible stakeholder in a democracy, or to have a fondness for bow ties and tweed jackets, feel free to do so. But know that I do.
I had first hoped to stem of what I discerned was a rising wave of antipathy by the whole "Simfan 2.0" idea, where I would keep my mouth shut on the beliefs I thought were particularly out of the mainstream. This of course was an abject failure, mostly because of my own distaste for self-censorship. This whole volte-face was meant to provide a counter point, to see of those critics would change their tune, and I see they have not.
Thus there is no point in tailoring my message of curtailing perceived excesses, for those who are opposed will remain opposed. I apologise to those who shall accept it, for my bad faith and my two-facedness. I sincerely hope I can regain your trust. In turn, I hope, you shall be able to accept me for who I am and what I believe.
Javid Shah, support the family, fund the arts, etc, etc.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Lief 🗽 on January 29, 2013, 03:49:24 AM
Actually for the record I kind of did observe Lent last year, I went through an activity packet my church gave out. They just called it "Leap of Faith 2012" instead of "Lent", because Lent is too mainstream.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Uncle Joe on January 29, 2013, 12:31:44 PM
Context
Well, we know what clarence won't be giving up.
Well, we know what clarence won't be giving up.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Insula Dei on January 29, 2013, 01:55:21 PM
Actually for the record I kind of did observe Lent last year, I went through an activity packet my church gave out. They just called it "Leap of Faith 2012" instead of "Lent", because Lent is too mainstream.
Okay, I just couldn't control my laughing spasms reading that.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Oldiesfreak1854 on January 29, 2013, 03:49:32 PM
Was conveniently posted directly into the goldmine, but I will make it official.
I have a map in progress showing the ability of state governors to get good results for themselves. This looks like an outlier, and it is hard to see how Christie could suddenly become as unpopular as Scott, Kasich, Walker, or Snyder.
Exactly. This is why I don't trust SurveyUSA polls in the first place. Their first poll of Christie's approval had him underwater by 33-63% margin, if I remember correctly.
A new SUSA poll shows these awful numbers for Christie:
Do you approve or disapprove of the job Chris Christie is doing as Governor?
Approve 38%
Disapprove 56%
Should Governor Chris Christie run for President of the United States in 2012? Not run for President? Or do you not know enough to say?
Should Run 15%
Should Not 73%
Compared to Barack Obama, would Christie be a better President? A worse President? Or would he be about the same?
Better 29%
Worse 53%
About The Same 14%
Compared to George W. Bush, would Christie be a better President? A worse President? Or would he be about the same?
Better 25%
Worse 30%
About The Same 32%
http://www.surveyusa.com/client/PollReport.aspx?g=5ef5275c-3166-493d-aecb-3d856c8705a5 (http://www.surveyusa.com/client/PollReport.aspx?g=5ef5275c-3166-493d-aecb-3d856c8705a5)
Do you approve or disapprove of the job Chris Christie is doing as Governor?
Approve 38%
Disapprove 56%
Should Governor Chris Christie run for President of the United States in 2012? Not run for President? Or do you not know enough to say?
Should Run 15%
Should Not 73%
Compared to Barack Obama, would Christie be a better President? A worse President? Or would he be about the same?
Better 29%
Worse 53%
About The Same 14%
Compared to George W. Bush, would Christie be a better President? A worse President? Or would he be about the same?
Better 25%
Worse 30%
About The Same 32%
http://www.surveyusa.com/client/PollReport.aspx?g=5ef5275c-3166-493d-aecb-3d856c8705a5 (http://www.surveyusa.com/client/PollReport.aspx?g=5ef5275c-3166-493d-aecb-3d856c8705a5)
I have a map in progress showing the ability of state governors to get good results for themselves. This looks like an outlier, and it is hard to see how Christie could suddenly become as unpopular as Scott, Kasich, Walker, or Snyder.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Snowstalker Mk. II on January 29, 2013, 06:16:11 PM
The poll is from early 2011, and people are talking about it like it's new.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Small Business Owner of Any Repute on January 29, 2013, 06:26:21 PM
The poll is from early 2011, and people are talking about it like it's new.
The joke is much better if you don't explain it. :)
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Paul Kemp on January 29, 2013, 08:16:43 PM
Bunning did not vote.
Only mildly surprising considering the fact that he hasn't been a senator for more than two years now.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Simfan34 on January 30, 2013, 01:03:10 AM
All you moderators and those of you who complain about the moderators ought to copulate as soon as possible- pay for it if need be...
This is an internet forum... the Constitution doesn't apply here, and if getting a post reported is the worst thing to happen to you all day-consider yourself lucky by God!
To the moderators and those who report all the posts- no picture of a dead horse or of a big beautiful woman is more vile then the 30 year old "men" who watch a cartoon about ponies...
Peace out
clarence
This is an internet forum... the Constitution doesn't apply here, and if getting a post reported is the worst thing to happen to you all day-consider yourself lucky by God!
To the moderators and those who report all the posts- no picture of a dead horse or of a big beautiful woman is more vile then the 30 year old "men" who watch a cartoon about ponies...
Peace out
clarence
Clarence channeling opebo? ()
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Simfan34 on January 30, 2013, 01:16:42 AM
Also, capitalising the first o in "opebo" ruins the rather charming reflective symmetry in the name. opebo opəbo. just realised this.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on January 30, 2013, 01:30:32 AM
Also, capitalising the first o in "opebo" ruins the rather charming reflective symmetry in the name. opebo opəbo. just realised this.
Except that would actually read oqedo. Try reviewing your geometry classes.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Simfan34 on January 30, 2013, 01:33:07 AM
Also, capitalising the first o in "opebo" ruins the rather charming reflective symmetry in the name. opebo opəbo. just realised this.
Except that would actually read oqedo. Try reviewing your geometry classes.
()
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on January 30, 2013, 01:44:51 AM
Well at least Simfan agrees with me that "opebo" should never be capitalized.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Franzl on January 30, 2013, 01:49:21 AM
Well at least Simfan agrees with me that "opebo" should never be capitalized.
I doubt most people give the matter much thought.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Simfan34 on January 30, 2013, 01:49:53 AM
Well at least Simfan agrees with me that "opebo" should never be capitalized.
I think... I need to take a shower.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on January 30, 2013, 02:17:10 AM
BTW I don't see what's so funny about that quote Lief put in and Belgian said he started laughing at (it's just a statement of fact really), but I'm honored regardless.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: opebo on January 30, 2013, 07:30:47 AM
Also, capitalising the first o in "opebo" ruins the rather charming reflective symmetry in the name. opebo opəbo. just realised this.
Except that would actually read oqedo. Try reviewing your geometry classes.
()
That's right! Its just - 'something'. Some approximation of a thing. That's all. Its the best, I think, that we can do - but good enough.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자) on January 30, 2013, 04:07:16 PM
If you want symmetry, try oȹɵȸo.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Uncle Joe on January 31, 2013, 03:25:51 PM
I take offense to being excluded from this.
Different type of highest poster.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on January 31, 2013, 03:35:51 PM
I take offense to being excluded from this.
Different type of highest poster.
Dammit I was just gonna post this :(
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Velasco on January 31, 2013, 11:37:01 PM
Silvio's moral lapses are allowed because they represent the core of our italian values. But I can see some of you jealous by his love and CONSENSUAL affairs with young laydies, being the majority of you nerds whose idea of sex is talking about the gerrymandering in Maryland.
I'd say this belongs to deluge. However, I can appreciate the peculiar sense of humour (oh Silvio, Genio y Figura) but I feel a bit ashamed about the Italians. For sure the core values of the Italian people are not necessarily 'consensual' paid relationships of quasi-paedophilic nature. Oh, the Horror!... Conrad said.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on February 01, 2013, 12:05:20 AM
Silvio's moral lapses are allowed because they represent the core of our italian values. But I can see some of you jealous by his love and CONSENSUAL affairs with young laydies, being the majority of you nerds whose idea of sex is talking about the gerrymandering in Maryland.
I'd say this belongs to deluge. However, I can appreciate the peculiar sense of humour (oh Silvio, Genio y Figura) but I feel a bit ashamed about the Italians. For sure the core values of the Italian people are not necessarily 'consensual' paid relationships of quasi-paedophilic nature. Oh, the Horror!... Conrad said.
As an Italian, I can tell you I don't exactly think Berlusconi represents the core of my values.
...I can still take a joke, though.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on February 01, 2013, 02:12:18 PM
I hoped this was 'Opinion of Oliver St John Gogarty'.
I should have known better.
I should have known better.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on February 01, 2013, 03:31:12 PM
Keyes (normal)
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on February 01, 2013, 04:08:40 PM
He's black y'all!
Are you sure?
He's black y'all!
Why denial? You must be a self-hating black & white racist Southern Democrat who wants to lynch himself.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on February 01, 2013, 06:20:19 PM
He's black y'all!
We know, we know. It's "African American."
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on February 01, 2013, 07:27:12 PM
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=168803.0
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Simfan34 on February 02, 2013, 01:52:06 PM
Oldies but goodies
()
That gentleman is so silly. He forgot the coma after "brain."
Why would he slip into a coma after writing "brain"?
:D I guess I am the "moran" here! I meant "comma."
()
That gentleman is so silly. He forgot the coma after "brain."
Why would he slip into a coma after writing "brain"?
:D I guess I am the "moran" here! I meant "comma."
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Kaine for Senate '18 on February 02, 2013, 10:44:43 PM
Jeff, you forgot your disclaimer in the first post...
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination, or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination, or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: SUSAN CRUSHBONE on February 03, 2013, 02:23:50 PM
I'd be angry if I kept getting mixed up with Ben too. :P
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: MASHED POTATOES. VOTE! on February 04, 2013, 12:39:08 PM
Sorry, Inks
Because "Opinion of Julius Streicher" would give me 10 points.
Inks isn't in the habit of changing his screen name. ;)
Why did Kal create this thread?
Because "Opinion of Julius Streicher" would give me 10 points.
Inks isn't in the habit of changing his screen name. ;)
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: I spent the winter writing songs about getting better on February 04, 2013, 07:56:06 PM
What do you know, SPC actually got a good one:
Given his employment record, he probably would have been impeached after two months.
Can you imagine the havoc that would be wrought with Bushie at the helm?
Given his employment record, he probably would have been impeached after two months.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Paul Kemp on February 04, 2013, 11:01:16 PM
Am I the only one who was looking for another option other than Hillary in 2008, but am now supporting her for 2012.
You are certainly not alone.
So there are others who are now supporting her for an election which took place last year, when she wasn't on the ballot?
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: opebo on February 05, 2013, 03:36:14 PM
Will be going to see Warm Bodies this afternoon with a friend.
First it was vampires that women of all ages swooned over. Now it is zombies. Hopefully political nerds is soon to follow.
First it was vampires that women of all ages swooned over. Now it is zombies. Hopefully political nerds is soon to follow.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on February 05, 2013, 03:53:45 PM
If this really bothered you would (and should) report us all.
This ^
Guys, don't give him that kind of ideas... he's capable of actually doing it.
Post deleted for Calling a white person black with 10 (out of 10) infraction points
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on February 05, 2013, 03:55:03 PM
One of the best worst we've had
One of us was alive to prosper in the 80s, punk. :P
And I'm alive today to suffer from the consequences of Reagonomics, old man :)
Yes yes, he tanked the German economy. ::) :P
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Paul Kemp on February 05, 2013, 07:09:04 PM
From an alternate history I considered writing
American Conservative Union Party:A party from the pre-war era it was the party of government through the war. It heavily stressed a socially libertarian rightest view of politik. Outlawing abortion under the Ronald Reagan/Rev. Martin Luther King administration. Where it shows it's libertarian flair is in the states handling drug and marriage laws. Other famous figures in the party include Current President Ron Paul(ACU-PA) Congressmen Mike Pence(ACU-IN), Chris Daughtry(ACU-NC), Jack Kemp (ACU-NY) the Party of Jefferson, Madison, Coolidge, JFK, and Reagan Also the party of Evangelical, Pentacostal, and other conservative Christian sects as well as many minorities.
Libertarian Party:Also a pre-war party but has seen massive growth since the war. More socially liberal but very conservative regarding economic and foreign policy. Figures include Senator Gary Johnson (L-NM), Brian Schwicker (L-MT)
Republican Party:Blamed for the cause of the Liberty War it has shrunk considerably but still has considerable clout. Many Northeastern rightists still keep to the party of Lincolin. Most High Church Christians and Mormans tend with their moderate stances.Figures include Willard "Mitt Romney (R-MA), Richard Lugar (R-IN), Hillary Clinton (R-IL)
Progressive Party:The standard bearer of the center-left. After the Democrats dissolved in 1985 the Progressives have been trying to court the Republicans to merge with them and leave the right. They are trying to get abortion and gay marriage legalized throughout the country though with little success. Figures include Nancy Pelosi (P-CA), Rudy Guliani (P-NY), Michael Bloomburg (P-NY). The party of FDR and LBJ
Democratic Socialist Party:Further to the Left of the Progressives you have this party. The youngest of the major parties include many (around 25 percent of minorities) that believe in Socialism and liberal social policies. Bernie Sanders, Barney Frank, and Andre Carson lead this new wave of the radical left. The Occupy Movemnet leans heavily in their direction.
American Conservative Union Party:A party from the pre-war era it was the party of government through the war. It heavily stressed a socially libertarian rightest view of politik. Outlawing abortion under the Ronald Reagan/Rev. Martin Luther King administration. Where it shows it's libertarian flair is in the states handling drug and marriage laws. Other famous figures in the party include Current President Ron Paul(ACU-PA) Congressmen Mike Pence(ACU-IN), Chris Daughtry(ACU-NC), Jack Kemp (ACU-NY) the Party of Jefferson, Madison, Coolidge, JFK, and Reagan Also the party of Evangelical, Pentacostal, and other conservative Christian sects as well as many minorities.
Libertarian Party:Also a pre-war party but has seen massive growth since the war. More socially liberal but very conservative regarding economic and foreign policy. Figures include Senator Gary Johnson (L-NM), Brian Schwicker (L-MT)
Republican Party:Blamed for the cause of the Liberty War it has shrunk considerably but still has considerable clout. Many Northeastern rightists still keep to the party of Lincolin. Most High Church Christians and Mormans tend with their moderate stances.Figures include Willard "Mitt Romney (R-MA), Richard Lugar (R-IN), Hillary Clinton (R-IL)
Progressive Party:The standard bearer of the center-left. After the Democrats dissolved in 1985 the Progressives have been trying to court the Republicans to merge with them and leave the right. They are trying to get abortion and gay marriage legalized throughout the country though with little success. Figures include Nancy Pelosi (P-CA), Rudy Guliani (P-NY), Michael Bloomburg (P-NY). The party of FDR and LBJ
Democratic Socialist Party:Further to the Left of the Progressives you have this party. The youngest of the major parties include many (around 25 percent of minorities) that believe in Socialism and liberal social policies. Bernie Sanders, Barney Frank, and Andre Carson lead this new wave of the radical left. The Occupy Movemnet leans heavily in their direction.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on February 05, 2013, 07:25:52 PM
Hillary Clinton (R-IL)
There are a multiplicity of things wrong with this fragment
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: The world will shine with light in our nightmare on February 05, 2013, 07:26:55 PM
Hillary Clinton (R-IL)
There are a multiplicity of things wrong with this fragment
Actually, Hillary Clinton is a former Republican.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Paul Kemp on February 05, 2013, 07:50:47 PM
Hillary Clinton (R-IL)
There are a multiplicity of things wrong with this fragment
That's the least of the post's problems.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Napoleon on February 05, 2013, 07:51:24 PM
Hillary Clinton (R-IL)
There are a multiplicity of things wrong with this fragment
That's the least of the poster's problems.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Donerail on February 05, 2013, 08:03:41 PM
Hillary Clinton (R-IL)
There are a multiplicity of things wrong with this fragment
That's the least of the poster's problems.
I think his followup on a major left-facist party is worse.
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Grumpier Than Thou on February 05, 2013, 09:05:48 PM
Gov. Tim McGraw (D-TN)/Rep. Jim Matheson (D-UT)
Gov. Will McKenna (R-WA)/the reanimated corpse of Delegate Norton P. Chipman (R-DC)
Gov. Will McKenna (R-WA)/the reanimated corpse of Delegate Norton P. Chipman (R-DC)
Title: Re: The Comedy Goldmine
Post by: Antonio the Sixth on February 06, 2013, 01:46:47 AM