So...Ole finds a bottle along the lakeshore one day and wondering if there's any beer in the bottle, he takes the cap off. Surprisingly a genie pops out.
"Oh thank you Ole for letting me out of that bottle! Because you did this, I will grant you one wish."
Ole: vell, I vant to go back to Norway to see my family but I took the boat over and swore never to do it again...and I don't fly so could you build me a bridge so I could drive over?"
Genie: oh boy...that's asking a lot. I mean, that's nearly impossible...even for a genie. Is there something else you might want?
Ole: vell, Sven (the Svede) alvays said da norvegians were just svedes with their brains knocked out...so could you make the Norvegians da smartest people on earth?"
Genie: "do you want 2 lanes or 4 lanes?"
So...Sven died. But while alive, Sven and Ole promised they would keep in contact so the other would know if heaven was worth it.
Well, both Sven and Ole had two favorite hobbies: Gardening and baseball.
Anyway, Ole is out in his garden weeding one day, mad at Sven for breaking his promise until he hears Sven's voice from the corner of his ear.
"Hello Ole."
"Sven you son of a gun, I thought you'd never come back! What is heaven like anyway, Sven?"
Sven: "vell, it's actually quite nice. But I have some good news and bad news."
Ole: "Gimme the good news first"
Sven: "Da good news is ve play baseball every day."
Ole: "and da bad news?"
Sven: "you're up to bat"
One last one:
Ole is on his death bed. Barely clinging to life, alone in his bedroom...the delicious aroma of rhubarb pie fresh out of the oven wafts into the room.
Rhubarb pie is Ole's favorite.
So, Ole gathers all the strength he can muster and hobbles down to the kitchen. On the counter is the pie with a tub of whipped cream. He takes the knife and just as he's ready to cut into it, Lena walks in...
"Ole! Get your hands off da rhubarb pie! Dats for da funeral"
