The Deluge of Absurdity, Ignorance, and Bad Posts

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

His base will simply freeload like they always do. Miss 32 year old power lawyer working 80 hours a week will pay for it.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I'm trying to figure out why ~30% of the forum is bronies now.

Man, you know I'm not exactly a "brony", but you realize the alternative is BushOklahoma?

Well at least we are in his target audience, unlike My Little Pony.

MLP's target audience is kids.

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Yeah, sure, whatever.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

You need to be Simfan. You need to, in practice and theory, emulate the forms and manners of speech and habit, of myself. You just have to, my dear fellow Atlas forumers. You know what is coming up? The 10th Anniversary of the foundation of Simfan34. Of course, I myself, that being my corporate person, have existed since 29 March 1994, which is long over ten years. But one June 10, 2003, I first registered under the name of "Simfan34" on a website, SimcityCentral, now long defunct after a civil war bifurcated the website- Simphoni (Rexerite) and SimcityCentral (Martinite). It would be as if our Dave went into conflict with our Nym and resulted in the site breaking into two factions. This is essential to the history of online fora, such as our beloved one here.

Now, as to becoming like me, or becoming like me, like "Like Mike"-do you know that Michael Jordan is actually considering another comeback at the age of 50!- except "Like Simfan", or more properly, the necessity or rather the beneficial nature thereof, I shall explain to you. Shall I explain to you, or shall I first endeavour as to how to go about doing such things?

Of course, the point is moot. I am writing a static commentary. I am not as of yet engaging in a conversation with you, a fluid living series of quips and parries, but rather a singular rant, a solitary musing, a parting of knowledge. "But wait!" you say! "I needn't have anything to learn from you!" But I am an Ivy Leaguer, an elite , whether you like it or not, and you will have to listen to me one day when you truly have no say in the matter.

I shall first tell you the method, I have resolved. I am in a rather good mood, as a result of the benefits, which occurred less than three hours ago, and the kind belated Christmas gift of the thing I would trade all my bow ties for, and the associated accouterments (of the gift, not the ties- thankfully such a Faustian bargain was unnecessary).

The bow ties are the method, in part. There is the detached, self-consciously refined air, which takes a certain je ne sais quoi (as I am taking lessons in French nowadays, I can spell this correctly) to you, but if you try, you can achieve it! The point is not one of pretension, but rather of satisfaction, of a certain element of "I have done much and the world has done much for me, so I shall sit, drink, and enjoy life, and in the process strike up a conversation with you for it is the activity most immediately achievable at this moment, not out of any urge of the loins". Bow ties, pressed pants, tales of stories set in faraway lands like Ethiopia or "Tianjin", such is best accompanied with a certain world-weariness. Perhaps slightly affected, maybe, but it should from a sincere feeling of having seen the world in its entirety, or a great portion thereof. One should not be fazed by any tale- not even a personal meeting with Kim Jong Un. Sex with the North Korean president, probably, but not a meeting. Of course, such a lackadaisical approach must be learnt through meeting other "dictators". Other things, here pertinently a tobacco pipe, also add to this air.

Now I shall tell you the beneficial nature of this air. It is a short story. I had walked up Amsterdam Avenue to get an egg roll, and having carried my pipe in my pocked after eating said egg roll took out the pipe and began to pack the pipe. I was ready to light the pipe, but alas! I left my lighter at home. Oh bummer. But wait! Out of nowhere, which of course is a lie as they were sitting there, comes a person smoking a cigarette, on a stoop of an apartment building.

"Hello," I say. Of course, I am sure not to sound like a madman, as I am aware I would if I were to speak to you what I have written above. "Would you have a light?"

"Sure," says the person, who pulls out a lighter. It is a fluid one, which is a shame, but beggars, as they say, cannot be choosers.

"Thank you," I respond, lighting the pipe. This is a rather complex process, the details of which I shan't bore you with.

"It isn't often you see a person with a pipe," says the person. It is at this point I become acutely- or maybe "just" aware said person is a woman. Brown hair, maybe thirty something? She is vaguely reminiscent of my sister in law, now that I think of it. Perhaps you know what comes next. Perhaps you don't. For those who don't, conversation ensues. I say something along the lines of "[pipe smoking] is good for keeping warm a little, when it is so cold". Where did our warm streak go? It was lovely. Anyway, the woman responds "oh, you should come inside." If you don't know what ensues, to quote the detestable Al, "go boil your head".

So, what is the point of this rambling? The work is at the same time a defense of "personal-Simfanism" and a work advising the reader to, perhaps, adopt elements of "personal-Simfanism", as a way to further one's personal life in this "trying season", as my fellow light blue (are we really called that? how awful!) once said. Now, thank you for listening, and am honoured to have helped.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

What causes them is simple. Whites live there.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

This guy should've stopped after the first sentence:

Donald Trump is a damn Yankee fool & a corporate elitist fat cat scumbag. He is like Abraham Lincoln in the sense they are both stupid fat cats who hate the workers & great people of the south & want to kill the south with there damn Tarrifs.

That's from a now banned sock/troll, so not really the type of post that belongs here.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I feel like we aren't going to have another Italian pope for centuries.

I wouldn't mind another Italian pope, but you're probably right.  Of course, my church would not be pleased with me discussing this, especially since it views the pope and the Catholic Church as the Antichrist.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Anyway, lets change the subject.  Enough of the attacks.  I will be fine.  I've been fine for many years.  My life is not screwed up like has been previously mentioned.  I am a little impulsive on the decision making, but it doesn't mean I have bad judgement, nor do my parents.  God has seen me through many mistakes in the past and I have no doubt He will see me through this one, which I still don't think its a mistake.  Its not the choice I would have made on my own.  If it were all up to me, which it shouild be, but is not then I would be heading to work in about 6 hours and would have extended my apartment lease another six months.  Anyway, I've got a busy weekend ahead, but I do plan on getting started looking on Sunday.  I've got several places to call tomorrow and we're going to Shawnee as a family for lunch at Cracker Barrel and a trip to Walmart.  Saturday is a lot of rearranging and getting my room ready to go.  I will be looking online as well the next two evenings.  I do plan on looking really heavy next week.

Let's be clear.  I did not want to come back to Oklahoma and I was prepared to suspend the job search for the next 12-18 months and continue on with the status quo.  I enjoyed my job in Utah and I worked for the best boss anybody could ever ask for.  Since my parents are helping me out, I could not turn my Dad down.  Mom thinks I should have given it another 6-9 months, at minimum, but Dad overpowered both of us.  Oh well, what's done is done and two wrongs don't make a right, so I am going to find a job as fast as I can, and try to be into an apartment of my own by Christmas if not the Autumn.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Haha no, it's funny. Then again, my 12-year-old sense of humor makes me think any and all uses of the C-bomb are gold. Calling a little girl one makes it all the more funny for the juxtaposition as well as her obviously not being one. It is satire, after all...

I'm actually a little surprised you didn't post directly in that thread, since I was thinking of how upset you were likely getting at a lot of what was being said...

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I always thought it was pretty interesting how Pussy Riot have a clearly Scandinavian-influenced sound, especially song. This one, the one that got them in trouble in particularly is VERY Finnish-sounding: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALS92big4TY

I wonder if Finnish bands tour in Russia.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I may also take a little nap in a bit.  I've got nothing else to do today, so I can pretty much just relax.

I found his counter-response even funnier:

However, I have my computer in front of me and www.careerbuilder.com on another open tab.  I'm not just sitting here doing nothing. 

The best part is that Career Builder is what stuck him with that original scam to cause him to quit Oklahoma Natural Gas.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Who?

Click for context.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Who?

Click for context.

I've met Americans who are unclear on who Taylor Swift is. Granted, most of them were olds.

I have no idea who that is.

Yeah but you're in a place mostly insulated and protected from the pop culture of The Bad Place.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Beat me to it. Good lord.

Yeah I too came here to post that.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Abe Lincoln was not a nice guy and is widely known as a jerk.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I was watching TV and saw a commercial and began getting angry. I was sick and tired of these types of commercials. Fast paced, futuristic bulls*it. One touch of a finger, the whole universe, blah blah blah. You know the type:



It makes me scared. I'm afraid America is not going to be unique anymore. I'm afraid that the future will be a one-world melting pot with liberal United Nations laws.

I mean, think about it.

America 1770s:


America 100 years or so later, the industrial revolution:


America 100 years or so later:


Now just 25 years later:





Mega futuristic technology, a complete melting pot, it just seems like America isn't unique anymore and it scares me.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

It's really interesting. As long as the church could 1) write history, 2) define knowledge in the absence of technology (and that's the big one, and on which everything else hinged), and 3) wield secular power through kings and magistrates, it could enforce whatever ideology it chose. This is the Church's problem: it is now an artifact, in and of itself. It's going to struggle to make itself relevant and meaningful in societies that are not developing, that are already developed - because those developed societies derive their knowledge from other sources at this point. It's evolutionary, and it's to be expected. Ultimately, the fate of religion is to be an obscure, kind of esoteric sense of personal spirituality. Not a set of dogmatic instructions, insights, and decrees handed down from On High.

And that is what makes people horrible today: their uppity aversion to authority.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Republicans: Large sodas are unhealthy, so I choose not to drink them.
Democrats: Large sodas are unhealthy, I want them banned for everyone.

Then liberals claim they're for individual rights. Hypocrites.

And your position on marijuana...

One's illegal, the other's not, "King".

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

When I get home from church this afternoon, I will be getting into the Sunday paper and map out my strategy this week.  I am going to search for three weeks, because that's the earliest date that the plane tickets will be purchased for Kenya in June.  If I have not started a job or if I have not received a guaranteed offer by 6:00 pm on Friday, April 5, 2013, I will suspend the job search until I get back from Africa and resume my job search on Monday, July 1, 2013.  I am not about to throw away a $2,000 plane ticket and I'm not about to waste the money of that generous donor.  I will look as hard as I can for the next three weeks, but starting on Monday, April 8, 2013 it is all about Kenya for the entire second quarter of 2013 until Monday, July 1, 2013

Jeff, you are running cover for your own excuses here. You are passive aggressively, half a$sing the job search. You know that you could get yourself out of this. As I mentioned you could try to auction this up or something.  You could pay your benefactor off that way and maybe even raise some money for the charity. And the plane tickets aren't in your bleeding name.  Come on man. You know you are in no position to be charitable here. This is a vanity project that someone is footing the bill for.

So, you are saying I should not even go to Africa period in 2013 or 2014 and auction this benevolence to the highest bidder?  Are you out of your mind?

patrick has a job and pays his bills.  He just wants you to do the same.

And not fulfill what I was called to do?  I'm sorry, but I take my faith seriously, it is not a laughing matter.  I never said I was going to do the job search haphazardly, I was brought up to not spit in the face of someone who gives you something.  If this plane ticket it bought and I, personally, don't use it, I will be spitting in the face of that benefactor.  I'm better than that.

Oh, by the way, I will be moving to Kenya in 4 years.  I have been mocked for wanting to do what GOD has told me to do.  I do not own my life.  God owns my life and He will do with it what He pleases.  I will have a job soon, but I refuse to spit in His face and I refuse to spit in the face of my benefactor.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Anyone who wasn't here in 2008 doesn't even know the half of it in regards to how much of a vicious zealot I was back then.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

For admitting I was over the top in 2008?

Not that I'm particularly bugged by that, after it's similar to what Seth MacFarlane would do. Family Guy has had jokes about dead Vietnam veterans and torturing McCain before after all.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I'll just say I've laughed far more times at an opebo post than a Shakespeare work. The Professor was another example of a poster that was a better writer.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

My example was with about the bare minimum hours that you could possibly get.  Why are you set on going to Kenya instead of making money?  Some money is better than no money.

If you were working 5 8-hour days at $11, that's taking home $350 per week minus $70 in gas if the job is FORTY miles away.  So that's still $280 in income.  And did you even apply to a job that was 40 miles away?

Probably not.  You said none were closer than 15 miles, so if you only drove 118 miles yesterday, I can't see how any of the jobs would be 40 miles away, as that alone would be 80 miles of your 118 miles yesterday, meaning that all of the other driving you did was only 38 miles.

Inks, I've got a plan.  The plan is working.  That's all that needs to be said.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Ernest had a good point, but for this I could not resist:

Jeff, you didn't address my main point.... how is applying for a job and refusing an offer not spitting in your potential employer's face?

Maybe things change between application and offer?

If any of the places I applied to were to call me, I would consider it.  It doesn't mean I have to accept it as long as I seriously consider it.  For all they know, I may have gotten offers from different places at the same time and had to choose just one.

Maybe things change between the offer to send you to Kenya and now.

For all your donor knows, you may have gotten an offer for a job and had to choose that to support yourself instead of deceiving people into giving you money.

Please stop acting like I'm the villain in all this.  I'm not the victim, but I'm not the villain, either.

You've changed the subject.  How are the two situations any different?  You're applying opposite standards in each case so that you can get to go to Kenya... your standards are patently illogical.

What do you think your donor would say if you asked his advice: "I've received a job offer that would supply me with much-needed money, but I think I'm going to turn it down because I would not want to offend you."  If your donor has half a brain, he'd tell you, "Take the job!  You can go to Kenya when you're able."

The fact is I am able to go now.  I won't be able to in March 2014.  The next time I can go is late 2014.  I hope you're not suggesting I should wait another 18-24 months to see my children?  Nearly 3 years is too long for this father not to see his kids.  Nobody can argue with the fact that I am their daddy or that my love for them is like a father.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

My respect for opebo has become even higher.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Ben the right-winger.  Why is your avatar red, Ben?

You of all people should know that the Democratic Party ranges from moderately leftist to center-right, right?

The post though is about what he expects the Republicans to do to try to retain power, so for any partisan Democrat to attack it is kind of absurd. It's basically Ben trying to score Moderate Hero points, similar to his defense of the results of the 2000 election.