A lot of gay people don't think gay related issues are the most important ones with which America needs to deal right now.
They're still voting against their own (and other people's, let's not forget) rights for utilitarian reasons, which in my view is both morally and mentally questionable.
I'm not sure their understanding of utility is necessarily so distinct from their sense of morality. Although it's hard for me to imagine how they can feel especially comfortable in a party so overtly committed to assuring their relationships are codified as inferior. I think it's totally defensible, but yikes.
Oh, I totally understand how someone with a utilitarian viewpoint could end up making those decisions, but I am by nature very much a deontologist so it's somewhat off-putting to me, to say the least.
Most people are utilitarians for other people and deontologists for themselves. It's one of the most common, one could almost say near-universal human character flaws. People who are utilitarians for themselves, while I can intellectually admire their consistency, give me the willies.
I'm sure there are people who hold deontological justifications for conservative positions. Surely you've met super-libertarian types.
Why do utilitarian people give you the willies? Both are accepting first principles in the same way.