Update Season X - "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas Vol. I."

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

This honestly sounds like a match made in heaven.

I don't know why she'd want to leave Stillwater though. The OSU girls are smoking hot.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

One interesting gem from our conversation the other day, I asked her if things were to develop between us would she have any qualms about moving out of state.  She answered with an emphatic "not at all!".

What about moving to another continent....like Africa?

I haven't discussed that with her, yet.  Honestly, the Nairobi Airport bombing and the Westgate Mall terrorist attack have me a little worried...

Just let God lead the way. Sometimes you have to go out on a leap of faith. Surely The Lord wouldn't send you into Kenya with plans to blow you two up into a million pieces of flesh and bone.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

We're getting closer to the big date. How are you feeling?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Odds Bushie smashes Ally on their first date?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

As in, Bushie beds her and makes her a woman?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I derived smashing from the Jersey Shore. Judge me.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Bushie, are you physically attracted to this girl? Just curious.

By looking at her pictures?  You betcha!

You've been sexting. Awesome. BTW, I will be attending your wedding, and my boo Andrew will be my +1

I cannot wait for the two of us to represent the forum at this wedding! Surely the Lord will provide us a lot of bourbon considering Jeffison will not dare touch the stuff.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I derived smashing from the Jersey Shore. Judge me.

That's "smushing," bozo.

I have heard "smashing" before. Pretty common. None of this matters though. Naso is back, updating us on his love life. This thread can end now.

Yes, I know. Smush room, smash, they're derived from the same thing. Either way, I'm just hoping this happens after the first date, but the odds are fairly low.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Yeah, Jeffison should get sex out of the way ASAP, so they're not just rushing into marriage so they can bump uglies (like with Bushie's last two marriages).

Perhaps if they both have a sip of wine, they will be so hammered they will not want to anything else but go at it. One can hope... I'm not sure which I am anticipating, the Breaking Bad series finale or Bushie's date.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Getting a little too risque' boys, let's settle it down, please.

Nothing risqué about love, Bushie. It's what two people do when they love each other.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

All of this is wonderful. The Update is back.

I am worried this girl seems to be less into this than Bushie, but we all know we can't stop this train. It sounds like she's fresh out of a relationship and doesn't want anything, but Bushie is ready for marriage.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I am worried this girl seems to be less into this than Bushie, but we all know we can't stop this train. It sounds like she's fresh out of a relationship and doesn't want anything, but Bushie is ready for marriage.

Yet she apparently has repeatedly said that she loves him (even before the first date), and said that they're in a relationship (before the first date).  She seems to be going too fast, but Bushie is going even faster.  However eager she is, Bushie will most likely one up her in eagerness, no matter what she does.  So there's nothing really unexpected here, is there?

No. This is all going to plan. I love every bit of it.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

This seems like a match made in heaven. Bravo to all who are involved in this courtship. The ring will surely go on the finger by the end of October barring some massive breakdown in their relationship, and then we will hear about the plans for the wedding!

After all, it only makes sense that he gets married immediately after he gets his CAD.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

If bushie keeps dropping the weight, he may start pulling some thinner girls. I smell an affair in future seasons. This is brilliant.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Eh, there's certainly some amount of laziness in Bushie's obesity (refusing to walk, for example), but a lot of it is having no understanding of nutrition and a palate that has been nuked with fats and sugars.

Yes, this is correct. His palette is the problem.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

If Bushie is a liberal then I must be a socialist. I love how I get to suspend my sense of disbelief in the update thread!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I have a bad feeling Bushie will screw this up with the weight talk. You don't exactly tell your girlfriend she needs to lose weight, especially one you've been dating for a week.

She may like being a fat.

But can you all imagine watching Bushie telling Allison she needs to slim down? One morbidly obese person to another? I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I have a bad feeling Bushie will screw this up with the weight talk. You don't exactly tell your girlfriend she needs to lose weight, especially one you've been dating for a week.

She may like being a fat.

But can you all imagine watching Bushie telling Allison she needs to slim down? One morbidly obese person to another? I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that!

He's not silly enough to talk about her weight at this point........right?

He seems to be considering it. Hell, I'd never say that to a girl I was dating for a year, much less a week. A better way to do it would be to say you are on a diet and go that route, but she'd never believe Bushie was on a diet with all the crap he still eats. And no one believes he's lost 20 pounds.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

What did you all eat on your first date, Bushie? I was out of town so I'm sorry if I missed it.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I'm afraid he may do it! Don't! Wait until you're married!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Bushie needs to shove his oklahoma dick inside allison and stop treating her like a rare china doll or something. They've been dating for a week now. Time to christian the sheets.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

We need something to happen to Our Dear Friend to allow Dukey to continue his bourbon induced postings. 

Last night was not a lot of bourbon. I went with a friend, who's a big reds fan, to watch the pirates game. He ended up buying two buckets of beer and 4 shots of bourbon for each of us.

But yes, my misspellings last were no indication of my education level.

I'm worried Bushie's headaches will endanger this weeks date. He didn't make it to school today.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Don't make Bushie feel guilty. I'd much rather see him spend his parents money on finding love than on porn/fastfood/useless overnight stays at a hotel.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

What's a praise team?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Doesn't sound good at all