Update

[Joe Biden 2020]

Hey, folks,

Its been a month!!  One month ago yesterday (June 7), I met my fiancee'.  We are currently doing well.  She's quite stressed right now and we will take this weekend to let her do some major venting.  I'm not going to say a whole lot, but I'll probably do a little venting myself, but she will have the floor most of the time.  We could use some prayers, but I'm not worried.  I know we're meant to be together, and I have no doubt that we'll be together until one of us is called home to heaven.

I'm committed to her every step of the way with every ounce of my being and I know she's committed to me, as well.

I did take it upon myself to order her some flowers today on my lunch break to be delivered to her tomorrow afternoon.

[Joe Biden 2020]

As requested, here is another update.

Things are still going okay, I'm just giving her some space.  Right now, she is stressing that I'm not listening very well and I am countering that she is not communicating very well.  I agree with her that I may not listen as well as I should.  The friend that put us together told her not to worry and to be patient since Tiff is really only the second real relationship I've known.  This friend told her that she may even have to teach me a few things.  I haven't talked to her or seen her since last Saturday, but I hope to be able to see her sometime later this afternoon or this evening.  I've given her 2 weeks worth of space save for one day (the 4th), so she shouldn't need too much more of that.  There is no doubt in my mind that she loves me.  When we see each other again, whether that's tonight or this coming week sometime, we're going to sit down and have a good talk.  We'll probably laugh, we may cry together, but we're going to have a good talk.  I don't think things are as bad as they seem.  I could be naive about that, too, but I tend to think not.  I'm choosing to remain very positive that we'll work things out and that we'll end up stronger and closer together than we were in June before this happened.  But, as for right now, I'm still contending that I am 8 months 30 days from being a husband and a step-father!!

[Joe Biden 2020]

Here is another late-afternoon quick update.

She is, apparently, willing to talk to me about what's bugging her.  She has a pounding headache right now (or as of 3 hours ago), so she's resting, but supposedly when she wakes up and gets over her headache she'll call me and I'll go over to her house and we'll talk.  I'm taking this in stride with a bunch of optimism.  I have a lot of faith that things will be just fine and in fact things will start to mend between us.  I'm very confident in that.  What ever is bugging her, and I have some ideas, we can work that out between us and move on with our relationship.  As I stated this morning, I firmly believe that we are 8 months, 29 days from being husband and wife.  I'll probably roll the dice and give her a call about 5:00 my time, about an hour and a half from now if I haven't heard from her, yet.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I called her this afternoon about 4:45 and she is suffering from a nasty migraine headache right now.  She said she would call me when she gets to feeling better and we would talk then.  She was not mad, rather she was just in a bunch of pain.

I'm expecting to be able to talk to her either tomorrow or Monday, most likely, once her headache alleviates enough.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Wait.  You guys met a month ago and you are already engaged?

Where have you been?  Yes, today we are officially starting our 6th week and we are in our 4th week of engagement.

We're going through a little rough patch for most of July so far, but I believe things will back on the mend here pretty quick, hopefully within the next 48 hours.  She indeed does have a migraine.  When I called her yesterday afternoon to see how she was doing, I could tell she was in a lot of pain, so we only talked about 3-4 minutes.  I know how she feels.  As you may know, I'm being monitored right now by the doctor to determine whether or not I actually have migraine headaches myself and I know they are no fun.  In fact, I started getting one again yesterday evening and had to take one of my Relpax and go to bed by 8:00 pm, but it worked.

All we need to do to get things back on the mend is just talk.  We need to get out whats bothering us and then promise to each other to do our best to improve.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I did get verbal confirmation this afternoon.  I called her today about 3:15 or so and asked her where her heart was in this relationship.  Her response was that her heart is still in this relationship, her heart is still with me, but that if I don't give her her space, it could end.  She said she will call me, but didn't give me a day or a time when she will, so its up to me to have my phone handy, charged up, and ready for her call, whether that's Monday, Tuesday, Friday, or someother day.  She's just been extremely stressed the past month and is very, very tired, so I can understand where she's coming from.

I'm not going to give her forever, though, to call me as I have a life to live myself.  If she hasn't called me by August 1 then I'll probably call her and arrange a time to get my ring back.  August 1, though, is still 19 days away, so I'm not too worried that it will come to that.

For now, though, based on the verbal confirmation I received this afternoon, I am 8 months 28 days from marriage.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Do we get an update today?

Well he's not going to call her till August, and I have a feeling she won't be calling him anytime before that, so I suspect there's nothing to be updated about.

No, no real news today, still waiting.  To be honest, I'm comfortable either way it goes.  If the relationship stays intact, which I still hope, I'll be just fine.  If the relationship ends, then I will still be comfortable and will work on my weight loss program, so that when the right one finally does come along, I'll be a slimmer version of my current self and thus hopefully more attractive.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I had another very interesting dream this morning right before I woke up.  The dream was we were still talking to each other and starting to go places and do things together again, to put it in a nutshell.  This is the 4th in a series of related dreams that I've had all month of July so far.  The first one was the wedding itself was still happening.  The second one was the reception.  The third one she was giving birth to our baby.  The fourth one, we were starting to talk again about what's been bothering us and going places and doing things as a couple, again.  We were basically back to where we were in June.  As long as these dreams keep happening, I still have unwavering faith in this:  8 months 26 days.  Say nay all you want, but I'm still very confident that things will work out and that it won't take too long.  I have faith that we are nearing the end of this phase.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I just got back from my cousin's this evening and he gave me a new perspective on why she's not saying a whole lot.  He said that we went so fast in June to get started that she may be just trying to process everything.  She was just able to settle down and catch her breath this past Sunday, so she may still be trying to relax.  She's had a very busy last 5 weeks with trying to plan our best friend's wedding in less than 3 weeks, then working 14 hours a day for 5 days two weeks ago and then Vacation Bible School all last week.  She's been a busy bee lately and she's just now able to sit down and relax and process everything.  I don't blame her for needing space.  I just process it in a different way, by consulting with trusted friends and Christian brothers.  She, evidently, processes things through isolation.  There's nothing wrong with that.  She even mentioned that to me when I talked to her on Sunday.  She said she's been going through a lot lately and needs time to process everything.  She said she would call me when the time is right for her.  She also told me not to call her until she calls me.  So, based on what I heard tonight and from what she said Saturday and Sunday, I'm tempted to give her as long as she needs, within reason of course, though it may be later than August 1.  I don't think it will take that long, though.

He also said that until and unless I hear it from her lips, that I have no reason to consider the wedding off, yet.

All in all, I am still very encouraged and I still have mountains of faith.  I'm not going to let anyone take away the faith that I have or try to discourage me.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Good Morning,

This will be a quick update.

I had the 5th dream in this series of dreams last night.  We were listening to a preacher or somebody and she was grabbing my hand to hold it.  Very simple, but very profound.

I'm expecting something to happen this weekend, though.  I'm expecting I will be able to see her for a little bit this weekend, or at least talk to her.  I don't know if it will happen tonight, tomorrow, or Sunday, but I have a hunch something will happen.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I'm going to give her until August 1.  I'm committed to that date.  She has given no reason to believe she WON'T call me back.  It is true, it has been 6 days since I last talked to her, but being the patient guy that I am, I'm going to give her two weeks which will be August 1, 2009.  At that point, if she hasn't called, then I'll call her and deliver the ultimatum, either we set a date to talk or arrange a time to get my ring back.

I hear what everybody is saying, I'm still holding on to the last bit of hope that I can.  I'm still hanging on to what she told me last Sunday, that her heart is still in it and that she will call me when the time is right.  Coupled with the fact that I will not wait forever, I will give her until August 1.  If she sets a date then to talk on August 8, fine, I'll talk to her on August 8, but I at least will have to have a date established by the evening of August 1.

My cousin gave me some really good advice earlier this week.  He said not to give up and consider it over until I hear it from her lips.  He said that she is probably still trying to process things and is doing it in a way different than the way I am doing it.  She's doing it in isolation, I'm doing it amongst friends and family.  Plus, I have no idea what her family and friends are telling her.

I can assure you she and my ex are not ganging up on me.  In fact, my ex is becoming more ticked at her than I am.  She even told me that if she continues to refuse to talk to me, that she probably will no longer talk to her.

However, if this relationship does not work out, then probably after the first of the year, I'll sign up for one of those dating websites either match.com or eHarmony.com.  I say after the first of the year, because I'll probably start focusing on Christmas here very soon, like in August and that will take most of my thoughts.  In fact, I am already starting to focus on Christmas even now in July, but that's an entirely different thread and subject.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I will give her until August 1.  If she sets a date then to talk on August 8, fine, I'll talk to her on August 8, but I at least will have to have a date established by the evening of August 1.

YOU DON'T SET A DATE TO TALK TO YOU FIANCE!!!!  

If you have a wound on your foot that's bleeding......you better take care of it before you lose your foot.   Sounds like you heart is bleeding.......deal with it right phucking now......or lose it.

Not one person here is against you......we're just being blunt and objective.

Better from a married man than my mouth.  Hate to say it, but he'll learn the hard way.. like I did meaning well.... STOP ACTING NEEDY!  There's a true "nice guy" and then there's the nice guy who thinks he is and is really being needy.  If we, as mostly men can pickup on it, I'm sure women do even sooner.  Not to be sexist, but most women suck at directions, but they can pinpoint in less than a second whether you're interested or over-interested in someone in the same room.  Men suck at that.  Interested is great.  Over-interested is suffocating.  You have to inflict a little emotional pain on a woman.  When they say "he's a jerk", that's a good thing or "when is he gonna call me?" That's a great thing as well.  Put them on their toes for once. 

As for fezzy's comment about online dating, well sometimes you're better off dating outside your circle of friends.  He's not in college anymore so his options aren't as great and you kinda want to avoid workplaces.  I think serial online dating is great practice.  Sure, he like I will get a lot of psychos, but practice makes perfect.  His needy tendencies will wane over time, like mine did.  He will learn why acting the way he currently does is not worth it.


God, I wish Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew were back on the air.  Think I should take their places?  I hate Accounting!  

Oh, trust me, I'm not going to let things linger forever.  That's why I'm going to give her until August 1.  That's more than enough time to "process" everything.  If she wants to talk, awesome, we'll talk.  If she doesn't, then I'll take my ring back.  Its that simple.  My mother says give her until August 1, and I'll go with her advice.

I think she'll turn around and call me, but if not, oh well.  There's someone out there for me.  I will continue to lose weight no matter what happens.  I will start working on my abs and lower legs no matter what happens.  I will not let the end of the relationship dampen my high spirits and my excitement that has been created in me since we met on June 7.  My friends and family have noticed a big change in me over the past 6 weeks.  I have more energy, my Tourette's has basically subsided, I'm not stuttering as much.  I am much more active in church, in life, and not home near as much (hence why my posting level has dropped off significantly the past two months save for this thread and the occasional political/off-topic post).  Plus, if she does end up officially dumping me, then I am free to get started listening to Christmas music and focus more time on football this year and get the preparations for 2009 Holiday Season underway.  If we do work out together, which is still my expectation and hope, then we'll have the awesome privilege of planning for a good wedding in April.

There's plusses to both routes and I am very comfortable either way.  Naturally, I still hope and expect the engagement to continue.  If not, oh well, I'll cut my losses and move on.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Let me throw another monkey wrench into the fire.  Another reason I know we're going to make it through this together and stronger than ever. 

Here it is:  In 8 months from now, putting it in the late March time frame, if all goes well, I will be a father.  I'm not talking about a step-father, I'm talking about a REAL, biological father.  We went all the way while we were in Arkansas in late June, so that's why I put 8 months, instead of 9, because its already been nearly one month.

I may seem like a goody-two-shoes pious Christian man, but I am definitely not one of those, and I do have my faults.

Plus, every hint I keep getting from her; and I am getting small, subtle hints; are all positive.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I can tell you that I am no troll and I'm not pulling a Yates here, and there is a 99% chance that she does have my baby.  (It could be 100%, I just haven't heard the official word, yet.)

However, there is a chance we may move our wedding up a couple of months to about February or so, so we can be husband and wife before she gives birth.  That remains to be seen, though.

GM3 is right, this is a lot of the reason I'm being so very patient with her.

I'll post more tonight after work.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I'll humbly admit I am a hypocrite for the things I have said versus the things I have done.  God, naturally, did not approve of the pre-marital sex, but I have already asked for and been forgiven for that sin, I just have to live with the consequences.  In terms of sin, God doesn't look at it any better or worse than a little white lie.  The reason I'm not distraught about it is I know I can't change the past, I just have to learn from it and move on.  One of the previous posters here said it right, the most important thing is what happens next.  The past is in the past and there's no need to "cry over spilled milk" as the old adage goes.

Like I said last night, I have received several positive subtle hints on the whole relationship during the past two-three weeks.

Even though I sinned greatly, and I'm not trying to trivialize or diminish the severity of my sin at all, I have come to rely on one verse in the Bible that has gotten me through July which, I'll admit, has been rather difficult.  That verse is Romans 8:28, which says "For we know that God will work everything out for the good of those who love the Lord and who are called according to His purpose."

[Joe Biden 2020]

You seem to have reason to believe this woman is carrying your child, you both apparently care for each other a great deal, but you're apparently allowing her to avoid you for as long as she wants rather than getting in touch to have what will probably be quite an important conversation. Why are you doing this again?

The way things transpired the last weekend in June, I would be shocked if she WEREN'T pregnant.

The main reason we haven't been talking to each other this month is because she's been EXTREMELY busy, she's worked 14 hours a day, 5 days a week out on the tarmac of Tinker AFB for two different weeks now (June 29 and July 20), then she had Vacation Bible School two weeks ago.  It is true she did have the week off last week, but she was trying to get caught up on her sleep so I didn't bother her.  She promised me back in late June, when she said she would be VERY busy in July and our time together would be very few and far between, she did say that things should settle down in August as she transitions from overtime at work 5 nights a week to Nursing School maybe 2 evenings a week.

[Joe Biden 2020]

The past is in the past and there's no need to "cry over spilled milk" as the old adage goes.

Dear God...

Good one, eh??!!??  I thought about how that sounded when I posted it and didn't bother changing it.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Here's a little update:

First of all, I wasn't feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home from work, thus I'm posting at an odd time on a weekday.

It looks very likely that I will be able to see and talk to my fiancee' tomorrow.  I'm going to take it upon myself to call her around 9:00 or 9:30 am and get myself over there to see her, so we can talk.  At that time, I'll explain my side of the story and then I'll give the floor to her so she can get out whatever is bothering her.  I still have faith that our relationship will continue, so I'm not worried.  However, though, if it ends, it ends, and I'll collect my belongings and move on.  One of the things I'm going to tell her is that I am still 110% committed to this and that every ounce of my being is committed to making things work.  Even if that means moving the date of the wedding either forward or backward.  I don't know what will transpire tomorrow morning.  I do ask for your prayers.

I will also get official confirmation whether she's pregnant or not.  If she is, I will start preparing to be a father.  If she is not, then we will probably wait until we've actually tied the knot to try it again, even though she will be 31 years old when we're married.

I know I said I would wait one more week until August 1, but I've got to do something.  Its been 3 weeks since I've seen her and I'm getting lonely.  There is a chance I might be able to at least talk to her tonight around 8 or 9.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Here's a little update:

First of all, I wasn't feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home from work, thus I'm posting at an odd time on a weekday.

It looks very likely that I will be able to see and talk to my fiancee' tomorrow.  I'm going to take it upon myself to call her around 9:00 or 9:30 am and get myself over there to see her, so we can talk.  At that time, I'll explain my side of the story and then I'll give the floor to her so she can get out whatever is bothering her.  I still have faith that our relationship will continue, so I'm not worried.  However, though, if it ends, it ends, and I'll collect my belongings and move on.  One of the things I'm going to tell her is that I am still 110% committed to this and that every ounce of my being is committed to making things work.  Even if that means moving the date of the wedding either forward or backward.  I don't know what will transpire tomorrow morning.  I do ask for your prayers.

I will also get official confirmation whether she's pregnant or not.  If she is, I will start preparing to be a father.  If she is not, then we will probably wait until we've actually tied the knot to try it again, even though she will be 31 years old when we're married.

I know I said I would wait one more week until August 1, but I've got to do something.  Its been 3 weeks since I've seen her and I'm getting lonely.  There is a chance I might be able to at least talk to her tonight around 8 or 9.

Taking the initiative.  Good for you man!

I think it will workout for you whatever the case.

I know it will.  If we do continue, which I am still confident of, then awesome.  If we don't continue, which I don't think will happen, then I know the Lord has someone out there for me and I will not let that dampen the enthusiasm and the joy that I have had in my life the past two months.  If we do split, then I've got plenty of friends and family that I can fall back on as well as have more time for my annual fall activities, such as football and Christmas preparation.

Again, I am still very confident that we can work things out between us, but am prepared if we can't.

I appreciate all your posts in this mega-thread.  I have laughed right along with you while reading the posts.  Everybody made good points and I know you were just trying to give me your two cents.  I opened my life up on the Internet and I expected to have it scrutinized.  I wasn't too thrilled when someone looked her up on myspace.  That wasn't cool.  I didn't realize that this thread would grow to nearly 300 posts.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Another update:

I did talk to her this evening and it is official:  The relationship is over and she is NOT pregnant.  This means I am a free man without the worries of a child looming on the horizon.  She basically said she doesn't have time for anybody right now.  Oh well.  Time to move on.  I kind of expected this would happen and I am not all that disappointed.  I probably would have been on pins and needles my entire relationship not knowing how she is feeling.  I'm actually kind of relieved now.  However, I think the Lord did have us together for a reason these last 7 weeks.  I am losing weight, I have more energy, I am less tired of an evening, and I'm not home as much.  Overall, I am just happier.  Now, I can move on without her.

I will get the ring back within 2 weeks, by Saturday, August 8, 2009.

Now, I have signed up for e-harmony.com and currently searching for matches.

My major plans for the rest of the year or so will be to close on a house in Midwest City or Choctaw by October 1.  In fact, I'm going to meet again with a realtor Saturday morning, because there's a house I'm interested in in western Midwest City.  I want to claim that $8,000 tax credit.  The reason for October 1 is so I can put up my Christmas Tree in early November, which is my normal time each year.  I will probably break my apartment lease by October 31.

BTW, nice photo

[Joe Biden 2020]

Why do you have to wait two weeks to get your ring back?  Couldn't she give it back right away?

She's using the "busy" excuse again, and I wasn't in the mood to argue with her.  Don't worry, though, because on that Saturday, if I don't have the ring back, I will force her to either cough it up or give me the $1000 it cost to get the ring.  I'll send my first ex after her to get the ring back and other belongings.  She will straighten her out big time and will probably drop her off her list of friends.  My first ex was getting very upset at the way she was treating me.  Her blood was boiling.

I'm not worried anymore.  Its just a relief right now to be out from under that burden.  She was really starting to become a burden and would have dragged me down in a hurry.  I couldn't wait another week, I had to take action.  In the phone call this evening, I was courteous and gave her one last chance to reconcile everything and put everything behind us, which she refused so that's all she wrote.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Well everyone, what did we all learn from this topic?

BushOklahoma, I hope you learned that unprotected sex does not necessarily mean she is pregnant.

I just hope he's not left with a different long lasting legacy from it. 

I doubt I will be.  For one, no one in my family knows about it save two cousins and an aunt who will never blabber it.  Plus, my church family doesn't even know save a couple individuals who, again, will not blabber it.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I will have my ring back within the next 90 minutes.  My best friend is on her way right now to collect them and will bring them by my apartment on her way home.  It is 11:30 now, and I should have the ring in hand by 1:00.

[Joe Biden 2020]

How can you absolve yourself of sin if you don't confess it? I'm guessing you're not a Catholic so there'd be no 'formal' need to confess, but it's still something that may hang heavy on you over time.

Protestants dispense with the priest and just pray directly to God, asking for forgiveness.

Precisely.  We don't have to go through a confessional.  We can communicate directly with God and he communicates directly with us through the Bible and through other human beings.  I've already confessed the sin so I know I'm forgiven.  The Bible says he removes my sin as far as the east is from the west and He does not remember it.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I officially got the ring and the laptop that I let her borrow back at 12:15 this afternoon.  Its now nearly 3:00, so its been almost 3 hours.  Everything is in tact.  She wasn't exactly thrilled that she had to give it back so soon, but I and my best friend told her - TOUGH!!

So, that chapter of my life is closed.

However, I think when I go see the doctor in September, I'm going to have myself checked just incase I picked something up.  I'm not going to rush it, but I am definitely going to have it checked in September.

Oh, and I've also blocked her numbers off my cell phone and my home phone so she can't call me either.