Do Your Part to Save the Scene: Reflections on Marxism as a Secular Religion

[fezzyfestoon]

I too have always felt extremely self-aware. Almost to a fault in my case. I created a dizzying world that made it impossible to tell who I wanted to be, who I thought I was, and who I really was. The more I thought about it and the deeper I tried to understand myself and cultivate that, the more mentally cracked out I became. I came to conclusion that it's impossible to tell who you are at any particular moment and even if you come close, you become to mentally active about it. Being too aware and in control of who you are makes you lose control in a sense. At least that's what happened to me. Yes, I am still very conscious of who I am, but I don't try to choose who I am. The second you start defining yourself is the second you cease being yourself. If you believe yourself to fit snugly into a particular personality or style or ideology, you lose what got you there in the first place. Nobody can sit down in front of the proverbial mirror and list traits they definitively are and are not at all times. We are constantly changing as people and so are the categories we find ourselves in. The more we try to pin ourselves down and dedicate our personalities and mental activity to consistency with a fabricated existence the less likely we are to make something of ourselves as a whole. I think we ought to stop trying so damn hard to be something that already exists and just let ourselves fall into our historical place naturally. If not, we won't be hailed as being an innovative, powerful generation of thinkers. We'll be remembered as contrived, unoriginal, and essentially a pointless generation.