The Good Post Gallery

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Monosexuality is so weird.

But seriously, I just can't understand the mindset of someone who wouldn't even kiss someone of a gender they aren't attracted to if a person they really liked wanted them to. Seriously-we're not talking about having sex here, just kissing. Why is that even an issue? I guess because of homophobic masculinity complexes, which are all too common even among men who fully support political equality for gay people.

Are you serious?  I have no problem with kissing a 'male' (that is a ladyboy) privately and purely of my own volition, but I would have a problem with doing it because someone asked me too for some kind of weird or controlling thrill.  My objection has nothing to do with homophobia and everything to do with a desire to be in relationships where mutual respect is observed and one isn't treated as a plaything.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

And people say opebo doesn't have healthy attitudes towards sex and relationships.

Yeah, that's why I posted it.  A rare glimpse inside the rascal's brain.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Inks, I promise that nobody's Forum experience is being enhanced by your posts in this thread.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

As his plane landed in Nairobi, a small tear trickled down Bushie's eye. Finally he could live his dream, to take care of his new children. God had rewarded him for his faith with a change in Kenyan policy regarding adoption; a single man could live with them, under the condition that he live with them in the bush for one year.

Taking a Jeep, he drove away from the capital for several hours until he reached the central village of the Baraka tribe. As his engine revved in the center of the village, several members of the tribe, including his two new children, came out to greet them.

"Would you like to buy some insurance?", Bushie asked.

The tribe stared at him puzzlingly. Suddenly, Bushie heard the beating of drums. From his rudimentary knowledge of the Baraka tribe, it meant that it was time for the hunt. Bushie took an extra spear and followed the men of the tribe onto the path through the grasses. While the strong, experienced hunters quickly noticed signs of a herd of antelope up ahead, Bushie lagged behind, huffing and puffing after the first two minutes of walking. But from somewhere in the bushes to his left, he heard what sounded like the squeals of a small animal. Bushie, despite his exhaustion, walked off the path to see what it was. Brushing away the leaves with his spear, he came across the animal; a single lion cub. It appeared to be distressed.

"There, there", cooed Bushie, picking up and stroking the cub. "Calm down, there's no need to be scared." But the lion cub only became more frightened, and its calls loudened. Bushie continued petting the cub, hoping it would calm down. Suddenly, the cub turned its head and jumped out of Bushie's arms. Bushie looked over his shoulder, and in a flash, he was bowled over by a lioness. Despite his struggles, the mother easily pinned him down, and clamped her jaws down on his throat. But this first bite only stabbed into some neck fat. The second bite directly severed the windpipe, and the lioness held until Bushie's struggles ended. She roared, signaling to the rest of her pride that prey had been killed.

The pride would eat well tonight.

(Note: I had to. I pre-emptively apologize and encourage you all to obtain a copy of the story before the mods take it down)

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

This needs memorialized -

I find you repulsive because nearly all the things you do, you do to glorify yourself. The african kids, the dog, etc, are all about you. You sin over and over, scam people, lie, steal and mistreat yourself and others to make yourself feel better, yet you think it's all okay because you pray to god for forgiveness and you think he will forgive.

You have African orphans call you daddy, because your grandma sends them money every month, knowing full and well you will never adopt them, which will only lead to the kids growing up confused and ultimately hurt. You steal money from your parents all the time for frivolous things like porn, trips out to eat, hotel stays, etc.

You refuse to work while living the comfortable lifestyle you wish to have off the backs of your parents, because working seems to be beneath you. You have your poor father do everything while you nap all afternoon every day and seem to be unashamed of it. In addition to that, you are morbidly obese, yet you go to McDonalds nearly every day (that seems to be the only thing you can do on your own), and refuse, despite all the technology at your fingertips, to educate yourself on proper diet that would benefit you and your sick mother, because, well, it wouldn't be about you anymore, and that's not about to happen. 

A dog was abandoned on your property, and instead of trying to find it a home, you keep it because you want a dog to call you daddy, knowing full and well you intend to leave it behind in a year, like you left your cat before it. Not only that, the dog lives outdoors in the Oklahoma heat and you only go out to see it once in a while. Oh, and it took you weeks to figure out what sex it was. Sorry, I also don't care about what dogs and humans did in the old days. This isn't the stone ages.

Finally, you claim to be a Christian and a follower of Jesus, yet you only follow the parts of the Bible that suit you while ignoring all the other parts you don't agree with, like treating your body well, working honestly, loving your neighbors, etc. But you think it's all okay because you will be forgiven despite the fact you embody nearly all of the seven deadly sins.

The honest truth is, I have never come across a bigger hypocrite than you, Bushie, and I hate to say that because I used to think you had your heart in the right place. I used to want to see you succeed, but it's difficult to want that anymore because you yourself have no interest in succeeding. You only wish to glorify yourself in your own mind and stroke that sense of sense importance that we can all feel in your words.

I don't mean to come across as harsh, but that is the honest truth. You've become a monster, and I know I'm not the only one that feels this way, and I don't like feeling this way either.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Beet is a girl?

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Translation:

At a gathering of music enthusiasts and performers, I happened upon a lovely couple from Winnipeg who informed me that it is, in fact, a particularly dangerous city. Indeed, my friends, they insisted that it was the most dangerous out of all the cities in our northerly neighbor, citing homicide statistics. Needless to say I was overcome with shock and nearly had a dreadful spell. Now I humbly seek confirmation or refutation. What say you?

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

I agree with this 100% but he stated very well, as usual.

Best of the best.  The problem with the death penalty today is not the punishment per se, but that the process takes too long and is applied so rarely as to lose its deterrent effect.  I'm pro death penalty, but given a choice between the existing system and no death penalty at all, I'd favor abolition.