The Michael A. Naso Institute of Comedy

[Bacon King]

There's a place here that lets you do all three at the same time.  Pretty decently priced, as I recall.

Hang on a sec.  Edit: Ok, it's 702-878-7776.  Ask for Brian.

[Bacon King]

Yes, actually I have.

But did you tell them about the Update thread?  Have you considering printing it all out, and making a bound copy to give to them for Christmas?

[Bacon King]

I told you like a year ago making maps will NOT help you get girls.

Please, this is nonsense. If making maps doesn't help you get girls you're doing it wrong.

I do hope you're not referring to this creepy iPhone map app that I learned about today:

[Bacon King]

Here's what you do. Open your phone, find her number, text her the following:

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Then block her number, delete her from Facebook, and avoid her for the rest of your life.

Then, for girl #2, invite her over or go somewhere private, hang out like you usually do, and when the moment feels right, go for the kiss. If she kisses you back, congratulations! If she doesn't, do one of the following:

1) Run away, block her phone number, delete her from Facebook, and avoid her for the rest of your life.
2) Laugh confidently, change the subject, never talk about it again.

Follow my advice, TO THE T, and you will achieve your goals and find happiness.

[Bacon King]

After 5 years here I don't understand how y'all tell each other apart to compile these lists. I still think every Dem poster from Washington State is the same person who I view fondly.

[Bacon King]

I dont know what is going on here but ok

You and I are going to engage in a battle of wits. For you, the steaks could not possibly be higher.

Well yeah, because you nailed them to my roof.  I didn't think it would be such a big deal (if just a little odd), but then a falcon or some type of bird like that came and pecked away at them for like an hour which I also wouldn't really have minded except that before it eventually took off it crapped on my wife's car and apparently that stuff does NOT come off and she had to pay $40 to get the car washed properly.  Not cool, bro.

[Bacon King]

If Romney ends up closing the gap and winning, this forum after election day is going to be wildly entertaining. Literally the only Romney supporters we have here are like a gay atheist lawyer who smokes pot, a couple of fifteen years olds, and a few trolls. Versus literally everyone else. An absolutely insane dynamic.