Update Season VI - "A New Day Dawning"

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Let me ask a few questions and I request a straight answer.

Is anyone really trying to discourage me from moving to Kenya?

Is anyone really questioning my faith in God?

Is anyone really thinking I am inferior?

Does anyone really think I live in an inferior state?

Does anyone really want me to leave the forum?

Is everyone having a good day?

Yes, I'm trying to discourage you from moving to Kenya.

No, I don't question your faith to God, although I think you use God as a crutch to do some really stupid, illogical things.  I think you put too much faith in a God that doesn't exist as you believe he exists.

You are not inferior in terms of value as a person.  Are you less intelligent than some on the forum?  Of course.  But so am I.  Is it likely that you have mental conditions that impair and inhibit your ability to make good decisions?  Probably.

Do you live in an inferior state?  No - the hate against Oklahoma is stupid.

Do I want you to leave?  No.  I want you to walk out your house and then for a mile.  That's the only leaving I want you to do.

Am I having a good day? Meh, I woke up a little later than I should've, so I'm a bit crunched for time on my property exam.  I should probably study a bit harder, but the first one went better than I expected, so I'm not as worried about this one as the others.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

You said that yesterday about today...

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

You said that yesterday about today...

I know.

So why not do 2 miles tomorrow?

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Jeez Inks. Stop trying to kill the guy. He'll get up to two miles eventually.

It's a hell of a lot better to walk two miles in the comfort of his Oklahoma community with a hospital than have him go to Kenya and die of dehydration because he's unprepared.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Hopefully, I can make it to Monkey Business.

Reach for the sky Bushie.  If you can't control your diet or walk a mile without having a heart attack, you can at least demonstrate your determination with another high priority goal: Staying awake until 1am so you can watch a movie.

Well, we know where his priorities lie... This deserves another one of these:

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

3.  The Update is a candid piece of work.  Some could say it's been a vanity project, and they have a valid point, but to be honest when the writers were first starting to think about the Update Series, long before Season I, it was never meant to be a serious thread.  It has turned into such, much of it my own doing, and the advice given is no less valid and no less potentially productive, but I have never meant this as a serious series.

4.  As I mentioned in Point 1, I am working on more honesty and more courtesy toward the viewers.  The writers do not need to consistently pull the viewer's leg.  That's bad for the press and bad for PR.

You know, every time you refer to "the writers", it just reminds the forum how fictionalized and attention-whorey this thread is.  Life doesn't have "writers".  Calling it that is annoying and makes you sound like you think you're more important than you actually are.  You are not a "writer".  Sure, you're a great liar, but that's more of a disorder than something positive.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

A little programming note:  On Sunday, 28 April 2013 at 23:45 CDT, Update VI will close.  On Monday, 29 April 2013 at 00:15 CDT, Update VII will open.  It will be the beginning of a new year in the main character's life.

What's with the arbitrary new starting time for Update VII?  And why is the update thread taking a 30 minute break?

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Bushie, as long as you're open to answering questions now, let me ask something I think I asked a while back but never got an answer on: You had mentioned your dad mowing the lawn.  Since your dad works, and you're living off of your parents rent free, are you doing any chores around the house to pitch in?  Why don't you mow the lawn rather than your dad for example?

I am doing the dishes after most meals.  I am taking out the trash, checking the mail, doing my own laundry, and keeping the house straightened up.  I also am helping Dad in the yard when needed.  He has still been mowing, but I will be taking care of that the next time it needs to be done.  I am also going to get out there and finish picking up the leaves that the recent flood left behind.  Granted, I'm not doing as much as I should, but I am trying to do something.

Yet you've left rotting fruit around for a day, acknowledging that you have nothing important to do, and you still don't throw it out.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

new plot twist:  bushie found some way to manipulate the walking app.

Not today, boss...

but youve no doubt thought about it.

I've thought about it, and I tested the app, by setting it to running and then getting in my car.  It started going as fast as the car was moving.

Ahh, so that's what that .08 miles was.

I figured you'd try that at some point, but I thought that you'd be too stupid to pay attention to the time and would just look at the distance that it logged.

Congratulations, though... apparently you're just deceitful, not stupid.  Had you have been able to pull off rigging the app without it logging your time, I have no doubt you would take the lazy route and just drive a mile to fake walking.  In fact, I could even see you just taking time out of your day to drive slowly down the road, because you really are that fat and lazy.

Jeff... just freaking walk every day.  Quit trying to scheme your way out of this...

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Even though she's kind of crazy, and I don't agree with many things she does, she has not lost my trust.

Only you would say something as stupid as this... why exactly is it that you can't mow your own lawn?

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Jeff, you're paying some woman to mow your lawn, yet you're taking money from someone to take a trip to Kenya?  You truly are one of the most selfish disgusting people I've ever heard of.  You should be ashamed of yourself.  You claim you're doing God's work, but you're really taking a trip simply because you want to.  You're being selfish and using God as an excuse... not only is it disgusting, but you're using and abusing God and your Christianity.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Even though she's kind of crazy, and I don't agree with many things she does, she has not lost my trust.

Only you would say something as stupid as this... why exactly is it that you can't mow your own lawn?

This is not stupid.  I've already explained my reasons.  It was too much of a hassle to drag my mower all the way out there, and I didn't have my neighbor's phone number.  How is that stupid?

Drag your mower all the way out from where?  Where is your parents' mower?

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Jeff, you're paying some woman to mow your lawn, yet you're taking money from someone to take a trip to Kenya?  You truly are one of the most selfish disgusting people I've ever heard of.  You should be ashamed of yourself.  You claim you're doing God's work, but you're really taking a trip simply because you want to.  You're being selfish and using God as an excuse... not only is it disgusting, but you're using and abusing God and your Christianity.

Take a chill pill already.  There is no need to insult me with lies upon lies.  There is nothing true in this post.  Seriously, calm down or get off my thread tonight.  You do not dare insult my good name.

Nothing true?  Bullsh**t.

Answer these questions:

1. Did you pay your ex to mow your lawn?
2. Did someone give you money to take a trip to Kenya?

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Even though she's kind of crazy, and I don't agree with many things she does, she has not lost my trust.

Only you would say something as stupid as this... why exactly is it that you can't mow your own lawn?

This is not stupid.  I've already explained my reasons.  It was too much of a hassle to drag my mower all the way out there, and I didn't have my neighbor's phone number.  How is that stupid?

Drag your mower all the way out from where?  Where is your parents' mower?

My mower is at my parents.  Have you heard of my vandalism earlier this year.  We're trying to protect our property.

Yet instead of having you move in there, you drive by once or twice a week.  Yeah... some real protection of property there!

Why didn't you just move the mower in your vehicle?

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Even though she's kind of crazy, and I don't agree with many things she does, she has not lost my trust.

Only you would say something as stupid as this... why exactly is it that you can't mow your own lawn?

This is not stupid.  I've already explained my reasons.  It was too much of a hassle to drag my mower all the way out there, and I didn't have my neighbor's phone number.  How is that stupid?

Drag your mower all the way out from where?  Where is your parents' mower?

My mower is at my parents.  Have you heard of my vandalism earlier this year.  We're trying to protect our property.

Yet instead of having you move in there, you drive by once or twice a week.  Yeah... some real protection of property there!

Why didn't you just move the mower in your vehicle?

Car is too small.

Let me guess, you eyeballed this without actually trying to put the mower in the car?  What kind of car is it?

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Even though she's kind of crazy, and I don't agree with many things she does, she has not lost my trust.

Only you would say something as stupid as this... why exactly is it that you can't mow your own lawn?

This is not stupid.  I've already explained my reasons.  It was too much of a hassle to drag my mower all the way out there, and I didn't have my neighbor's phone number.  How is that stupid?

Drag your mower all the way out from where?  Where is your parents' mower?

My mower is at my parents.  Have you heard of my vandalism earlier this year.  We're trying to protect our property.

Yet instead of having you move in there, you drive by once or twice a week.  Yeah... some real protection of property there!

Why didn't you just move the mower in your vehicle?

Car is too small.

Let me guess, you eyeballed this without actually trying to put the mower in the car?  What kind of car is it?

I've tried it before.  Nissan Sentra.

What kind of mower do you have?  I find it hard to believe you couldn't get a mower to fit in the trunk and at least be able to bungee close it.  And even if you couldn't, why not keep the mower in the house?  There are plenty of other ways to do this other than to be a lazy oaf and have your ex mow the lawn.  Why not ask to borrow the mower and you mow the lawn?

It's amazing that your willing to take money from people to finance your feel-good trip to "help" the orphans, yet you're so lazy that you're willing to throw money away so that you can avoid doing any activity that would make you perspire.

Get off your lazy bum and go mow the lawn for once.  Have you even thrown away the rotting fridge in your house yet?

It's amazing... you're morbidly obese, and you go to lengths to try to cheat your way out of having to walk a mile a day, yet you all of a sudden become stupid when you have to think of a way to mow the lawn, yet you think that you'll be able to go to Kenya and work in the heat?  Hah!  Jeff, I see straight through your lies... I've tried being nice, but you continue to LIE LIE LIE!  I've given you an opportunity to come clean, so don't get pissed at me now that I'm using harsh language.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Even though she's kind of crazy, and I don't agree with many things she does, she has not lost my trust.

Only you would say something as stupid as this... why exactly is it that you can't mow your own lawn?

This is not stupid.  I've already explained my reasons.  It was too much of a hassle to drag my mower all the way out there, and I didn't have my neighbor's phone number.  How is that stupid?

Drag your mower all the way out from where?  Where is your parents' mower?

My mower is at my parents.  Have you heard of my vandalism earlier this year.  We're trying to protect our property.

Yet instead of having you move in there, you drive by once or twice a week.  Yeah... some real protection of property there!

Why didn't you just move the mower in your vehicle?

Car is too small.

Let me guess, you eyeballed this without actually trying to put the mower in the car?  What kind of car is it?

I've tried it before.  Nissan Sentra.

You and your parents share a single car?

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Even though she's kind of crazy, and I don't agree with many things she does, she has not lost my trust.

Only you would say something as stupid as this... why exactly is it that you can't mow your own lawn?

This is not stupid.  I've already explained my reasons.  It was too much of a hassle to drag my mower all the way out there, and I didn't have my neighbor's phone number.  How is that stupid?

Drag your mower all the way out from where?  Where is your parents' mower?

My mower is at my parents.  Have you heard of my vandalism earlier this year.  We're trying to protect our property.

Yet instead of having you move in there, you drive by once or twice a week.  Yeah... some real protection of property there!

Why didn't you just move the mower in your vehicle?

Car is too small.

Let me guess, you eyeballed this without actually trying to put the mower in the car?  What kind of car is it?

I've tried it before.  Nissan Sentra.

You and your parents share a single car?

We have three cars.  Dad drove the GMC Jimmy to work, and the other two cars are Nissan Sentras.

So tell him you want to borrow the GMC Jimmy to take the mower to the other house.  Problem solved, and all of a sudden you're not paying $50 to get your lawn mowed.

So my original post was correct... you're too lazy to mow your own lawn that you're willing to pay $50 to have someone mow your lawn, yet you're willing to take money from someone to take a trip to Kenya. You claim that you're doing "God's" work, but what you're actually doing amounts to stealing, because you make yourself out to be this poor, needy person who needs to be subsidized to go to Kenya, yet you're wealthy enough to throw money away because you're too lazy to mow your own lawn.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

No, had you have bought a bungee cord, I wouldn't have criticized that (although I'm shocked that you don't have a single bungee cord in your house or cars).

But it's absolutely ridiculous that you think that you should be able to take others' money to go to Kenya or that you think that you need a short sale to sell your house when you're willing to throw $50 down the drain to have someone mow your lawn just because you're too lazy to do it.

That's not hilarious - it's sad... it's sad that you are willing to cheat other people out of money so easily just so that you can sit back and relax without having to do a little exercise.