Which candidate would you have voted for ? - French version

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I often tend to change my mind in these thingees. And I like to vote for joke candidates.

With hindsight:

1965: Marcilhacy / de Gaulle: de Gaulle is de Gaulle, but I'm not a fan of his Euroscepticism and most importantly his very centralizing tendencies. Still, I would obviously vote for him over Mitterrand, who I hate.
1969: Defferre / Poher: I know Defferre had an alliance with the mafia and the local crooks, but aside from that, I have the impression that he would have been a good President. Plus, I like his decentralization laws he did under Mitterrand. Poher is a very good guy.
1974: Royer / Giscard: I can't resist not voting for my favourite joke politician.
1981: Marchais / Giscard: Everybody should vote for Marchais, obviously. C'est pt'etre pas vot' question, mais c'est ma reponse I would have held my nose and voted for Bokassa's friend in the runoff, though I might as well abstain. I would rather eat sh**t then vote for Mitterrand.
1988: Waechter [or Barre] / Chirac: Waechter was one of the decent Greenies, though I might have voted for Barre too. I would have held my nose and voted for Bongo's friend in the runoff for the same reason as above, though I might as well abstain.
1995: Balladur / Chirac: Either these two horrors or abstain. All candidates sucked. I considered a joke vote for de Villiers.
2002: Saint-Josse / Chirac: Joke vote for the Hunters and voting for Chirac just to vote against Herr Le Pen.
2007: Nihous / Sarközy: Joke vote for the Hunters and voting for Sarkozy because Royal is, well, uhm... a retarded douchebag.

Without hindsight

1965: de Gaulle / de Gaulle
1969: Poher / Poher
1974: Chaban-Delmas / Giscard
1981: Crépeau (or Lalonde) / Mitterrand
1988: Mitterrand (or Barre) / Mitterrand
1995: Balladur / Chirac
2002: Chirac (or Madelin) / Chirac
2007: Sarközy / Sarközy

Unless anything changes, I'm still planning on (actually) voting CPNT in the first round and Sarközy in the runoff unless Strauss-Kahn or some other sane person is the Socialist candidate.

I would rather eat sh**t than vote for Mitterrand, Besancenot, Trots, Voynet, Bayrou, Tixier-Vignancour. Would rather blow myself up than vote Le Pen, Royal, Megret, Debré.

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Marcel Barbu in 1965 ("Votez Barbu, Barbu n'est pas un traître") ?

Marcel Barbu, le candidat des chiens battus?

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2007 : Sarkozy.

Mainly because I like the guy and because IDK anyone else lol

Go troll elsewhere, retard. Retards are not allowed in this thread.

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When will people realize that Bayrou is not a centrist but instead an opportunistic flip-flopping power-hungry attention whore? His only consistent ideology is complaining about the events of the day and blaming the left and right for his failure. You know folks, there's a reason why his party holds all of 10 seats in all 26 regional councils which have like 1800 seats to themselves. France has finally realized what Bayrou really is, now foreigners must also realize who he is, but Wikipedia's nice little article of bullsh**t won't help.

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Apparently I last did this exercise in 2009, so it is amusing to see how my votes have changed since then. I'm doing this, again, with hindsight, and I'm trying to be serious (no Royer votes )

1965: Pierre Marcilhacy / Charles de Gaulle
1969: Michel Rocard / Alain Poher
1974: Guy Héraud¹ / Valéry Giscard d'Estaing
1981: Michel Crépeau / Valéry Giscard d'Estaing²
1988: Raymond Barre / François Mitterrand³
1995: Dominique Voynet⁴ / Lionel Jospin⁵
2002: Corinne Lepage⁶ / Jacques Chirac
2007: Dominique Voynet⁷ / Nicolas Sarkozy⁸
2012 (actual vote): Eva Joly / François Hollande

1 I maintain that Héraud is probably the best candidate out of all of those who ever ran for the French presidency, and this is probably the only vote I feel enthusiastic about.
2 sh**t vs. sh**tte, round one. I'll go with sh**t this time, if only because a Giscard reelection would probably have been less of a trainwreck that Mitterrand's first term. In the first round, Crépeau is the serious option, Georges Marchais is the better, more hilarious option.
3 sh**t vs. sh**tte, round two. I'll go with sh**tte this time, because Chirac is worse than Mitterrand
4 Yeah, even the first round field in 1995 sucked balls. I guess Voynet is the only palatable option, given that I wouldn't be keen on a first round vote for Jospin nor would I be too enamoured by Balladur.
5 Pretty easy, in retrospect. Chirac's first term was as much of a success as the Titanic's maiden voyage, and pretty much anything would have been better (besides, I quite like Jospin now)
6 Hesitated between Jospin and Lepage, all the candidates were pretty awful.
7 It speaks volumes about how horrible the 2007 field was that a moron like Voynet is, in retrospect, the least objectionable candidate.
8 sh**t vs. sh**tte, round three. Sarkozy is an asshole and was a terrible President, but I'm pretty confident that a Royal presidency would have been one of the worst presidencies on record.

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What do you have against Mitterrand between 1965 and 1981?

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Big fan of the Stalinist drone?

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There's also the matter that old Jacques was a... uh... Stalinist?

And yeah, if he had made the runoff, he wouldn't have gotten over 30% of the vote.