Update Season VIII - "Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!"

[Lief 🗽]

Bushie throwing out the CAD thing as soon as he gets back from Kenya would be a great callback to one of the season 4 (maybe 3?) storylines. Before his very first Kenya trip, he had just started at a Dell call center, and he made a big deal before his first day of work that he wasn't beginning "a job, but a career." And then he comes back from Kenya, forgets all about his new life-long career and is fired/quits a few weeks later.

[Lief 🗽]

RIP the jfsmtc.

[Lief 🗽]

So you'll have at least 10-12 hours to schedule in an hour of physical activity!

[Lief 🗽]

Do they even have Chinese food in Oklahoma?

Bushie being an adult man in his 30s and still approaching vegetables with a five-year-old's attitude of "yucky gross" is one of my favorite update saga tropes.

[Lief 🗽]

They have Chinese in Oklahoma.  I don't touch the stuff, but they do have Chinese food.

[Lief 🗽]

Ketchup is far too sweet to use in almost any circumstance. It's basically tomato-flavored candy.

Which is why you mix it with salty fried food. A delicious juxtaposition.

Eating ketchup with pasta is also very common in the Czech Republic, for what it's worth. I thought it was disgusting, but it's actually not horrible, especially if you're drunk at the time.

[Lief 🗽]

Coming this Fall, from the people that brought you The Update!, comes an exciting new weight loss solution: "The Walking Around in Airports and Eating A Fourth Sloppy Joe Exercise and Diet Plan!"

[Lief 🗽]

Guys, Bushie is obviously never going to the dietician again. This is just a convenient and exaggerated excuse.

[Lief 🗽]

I've never been to a dietician. Why would one need regular visits?

So that he can tell her he hasn't changed his diet at all, she can tut-tut him, and he can reward himself for being concerned about his health with a nice McDonalds meal on his drive back home.

[Lief 🗽]

What would you have told your dietician if you had had the appointment with her today, Bushie?

[Lief 🗽]

Bushie, you missed my question. What would you have told the dietician if you had met with her today? Would you have been honest about the lack of change in your diet? What advice that she gave you at the last appointment have you tried to implement?

[Lief 🗽]

Bushie, you missed my question. What would you have told the dietician if you had met with her today? Would you have been honest about the lack of change in your diet? What advice that she gave you at the last appointment have you tried to implement?

I have mostly cut down the number of calories I'm eating (the past three days notwithstanding).  That was one of the goals.  Another goal was eat breakfast and I've done that most mornings.  A third goal was to implement water into the diet.  I haven't done that.  So, I have implemented 2 of the 3 dietary goals.  The exercise goal hasn't been started.

So, two out of four. And one of those two is basically just adding bacon and eggs to your diet. And the first one seems to be out the window, as you admit, at least for the last few days.

[Lief 🗽]

COUCHKID'S AFRAID TO LEAVE HIS COUCH
COUCHKID'S AFRAID TO LEAVE HIS COUCH
COUCHKID'S AFRAID TO LEAVE HIS COUCH

Nah, unfortunately McDondalds does NOT deliver, so he is forced to leave it occasionally.

[Lief 🗽]

I had a similar lunch to Bushie today! I made myself a smoothie (with frozen strawberries, mangoes and blueberries, plus a cup of greek yogurt and probably about half a tablespoon of honey) and then drank that along with a peanut butter (the natural stuff; the only ingredient on the label was peanuts) and jelly sandwich (on whole wheat bread).

[Lief 🗽]

It sure sounds like Bushie is not making a good faith effort to find out who the dog's real owner is and actually return it to them.

[Lief 🗽]

Bushie should take the dog to Kenya with him!

[Lief 🗽]

Scumbag Bushie's parents:

Tells him he can get what he wants and diet at home.

Cooks him unhealthy garbage at home.

[Lief 🗽]

According to Wikipedia, 2% of American men have a BMI of 40 or more. So Bushie may very well be in the top 1%.

[Lief 🗽]

Yeah, BMI >40 is morbidly obese.

[Lief 🗽]

Maybe it's time for Bushie to start one of those fad diets. Isn't there one where you're supposed to eat tons of red meat? He'd love that.

[Lief 🗽]

I met a fat guy once who was on atkins years ago at a bar, and he was eating a ribeye with cheese, onions and bacon on top, but he explained to me he was going to lose weight because he was having a salad instead of potatoes with it.

That sounds literally perfect for Bushie.

[Lief 🗽]

My eyes are starting to fade, but there is still something I need to do before I go to bed.  

Say no more friend, I get ya.

[Lief 🗽]

I guess he just types in "sex.com" and hopes for the best, since apparently they don't have google search in Oklahoma yet.

[Lief 🗽]

Yes Bushie, you can stop posting about the diet. If/when you start eating healthy food, please inform us, but until then we don't really care that you're only drinking a diet soda with your cheeseburger and fries.

The suggestion to learn to cook Kenyan food while you're in Kenya is also a very good one.

[Lief 🗽]

Another link Bushie should read but probably won't:

http://www.paw-rescue.org/PAW/PETTIPS/DogTip_BackyardDogs.php

Just like Bushie knows more about nutrition than literally everyone else, including professionals, he knows more about dog care than literally everyone else (including professionals), after being a proud dog owner for like a week.