Update Season VIII - "Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!"

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The worst thing about Inks's insane jail warden act is that it's impossible to put him on ignore.

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Bushie needs to get drunk and bang a bridesmaid and tell us about it. We need more entertainment here.

I have this feeling it'll be a dry wedding tonight that he's attending. I couldn't imagine anything worse.

This being a church, there will be no alcohol at the reception.

Most churches have alcohol in the service.

Not this one.  We are a very conservative and very traditional church, so no alcohol allowed on church grounds at any time.

That's neither 'very conservative' nor 'very traditional'.

It's certainly not traditional in any respect, but I would associate it with being very politically conservative.

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This post about "God's will" is essential reading, I think.

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Ketchup is far too sweet to use in almost any circumstance. It's basically tomato-flavored candy.

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I see the story is veering into magical realism now.

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That morning, I will go to bed at 00:15, wake up at 03:30, pray and meditate until 05:00, eat a normal breakfast at 05:20, leave for the airport at 06:00, arrive at Will Rogers World Airport at 06:30, meet with the group at 07:30, go through security about 08:30, board at 10:10, and depart for Washington, Dulles International Airport at 10:40.

Why would you stay up until after midnight that night, and end up with just 3 hours sleep before your travels?  Why not go to bed early so you can get more sleep?

I always get less sleep before I travel. The more time I spend sleeping on the plane, the better.

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Texas Rangers fan, eh? What is your opinion of THE ball clubs? The Boys from the Bay, and The Bronx Bombers.

Overrated.  Especially, the Skankees.  The Giants are good, but they're still evil.  They are the West Coast Yankees for me.

love it

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Morden, Wolfram Alpha is your friend:

http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=BMI+29+years+old+male+5%278%22+277+lb

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I find it very hard to believe than only 1 or 2 percent of adult American males have a 'BMI' over 40.  I remember about half of the population looked obese when I was there last.

Anything over 30 is obese. Over 40 is just obese class III, which is the most obese class of all.

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Un-shun.

Re-shun.

Posting this doesn't excuse the fact that you clearly lack the self-control to not post in this thread.

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This has been a really dark season. Between Bushie's poor father, who seems at odds with Bushie and his mother when it comes to everything including the enchilada casserole, and the poor little puppy that's left outdoors in the Oklahoma heat, this is a mess.

The main character is really an unlikeable guy, sort of like Walter White's transformation. Bushie is morphing into a real Heisenberg. Before, I thought Bushie was a good guy who's heart was in the right place, but now, I am not so sure about that.

Oh, wow, excellent analogy.

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You can buy those kind of cokes here too. There's fondly known as "mexican coke." When I do drink a regular soda, and that's rare, it's a mexican coke.

Is it really that common? I know you can get it here in California, but even here you have to go out of your way to find it. I assumed ethnic food items of that nature would be harder to find in Oklahoma.

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He calls him their daddy because he sends them money, but obviously he has no source of income, so it's not his money. I assume it's his parents who are funding his fatherhood fetish?

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This is the orphanage, isn't it?

http://www.maishainternational.org

Has anyone done any internet detective work on them?

Google provides no relevant results for "maisha international scam", so at least that's something.

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God helps those who help themselves.

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NBC or CBS would have canceled the update already. The quality has declined to an ABC level show. We need Bushie: The Movie to finish things off.

I am very confused by your ranking of network quality.

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Relax, Inks. Nobody cares.

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All cats are girls and all dogs are boys, duh.

Have you ever seen a cat penis?

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The overtime is over, so he's back to a normal 9/80 schedule.

80 hours of work a week, spread out over 9 days?

That confused me too.

My dad used to have that sort of schedule. It looks like this, with the numbers representing hours worked each day:

	M	T	W	T	F
Week 1	9	9	9	9	8
Week 2	9	9	9	9	0

It amounts to 80 hours every two weeks.

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Nobody's saying Bushie can't improve himself. We Update fans would just like to see him tell us about it.

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Bushie what made you apply to jcp rather than other dept. Stores.?  Just curious.

I chose Jcp because of its proximity to where I'm living (only 12 miles, no interstate).  Plus, its the first one I thought of when I started applying last Tuesday.  It's not the closest job I've ever had, but its the one that makes the most sense economically.

This is interesting to me. Obviously Santa Clara County isn't at all dense, but I certainly wouldn't consider a department store 12 miles away to be close by. Is everything in suburban Oklahoma really that far apart?

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Africa is back to 2015 now? Interesting.

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I want to go through Update and graph every weight Bushie has ever reported (putting the imaginary weights in a different color, of course).

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This is why Bushie doesn't care about all the awful things that he does; it doesn't matter to him because he's saved no matter what he does. It's not important that he be a good person.