Update XVIII: 15 Miles From Lunch

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This is the problem of Bushie's entire life... 'God's grace' why have a sense of personal responsibility when either Ma or Pa Bushie will save him and once he asks for God's forgiveness... the slate is clean. Sounds like a good deal for the emotionally juvenile.

Yea... Christianity does kinda "make ya an offa ya can't refuse".

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What does it any of it matter anyway?  The world is going to end before he turns 40, when he gets handed a brand new perfect body and anything he could ever want.  (Undeniable fact.)  He certainly deserves such a fantastic reward!

I remember on an episode of Real Time With Bill Maher he was busting out some PPP poll numbers he actually commissioned for the show, and found that an absurdly high number of Americans thought the Rapture would be in their lifetime.  I always thought it was so kooky because I had met not one person who says that.  Low and behold, we have one right here in our Forum.  Worse is that it's such an unbelievably selfish and, yes, prideful thing to say, because it has everything to do with that fact that you feel you are so, so special that the end of days will literally be happening for you.  

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Bushie, do you have a clear idea of what the Rapture is going to be like?  I remember in Bill Maher's movie some lady said that she will literally be riding to heaven on a white horse.  I mean... to even know the color of the horse...

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There he is.  The man himself, slayin' another CAD(D) hottie.  Probably sent that congratulatory email mid-coitis.

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I think it is very possible that Vladimir Putin could be the Antichrist.  That is nothing more than an educated guess on my part.

The "educated guess" bit is priceless.

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Is it appropriate to post a photo of someone without their permission?

It's on Google you insufferable tattletale.



How's that fit ya, fancy pants?

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Our Dear Friend is quite sore over tonight's goings-on at the Dallas football stadium. 

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Memphis, I wasn't feeling real well and wasn't real hungry so I let Dad clean up the meat.  I only had 3 sandwiches instead of my normal 4.  The malt I had at lunch kind of upset my stomach a bit.

Back in the diet days, Bushie had FOUR sloppy joes one time to clean up the meat rather than his usual three.  We all jumped on him about having more than three for dinner.  This was the origin of "clean up the meat".  Now he admits four sloppy joes is the new norm?  How big are these sandwiches where he's eating four?!  I had 4 White Castle sliders a week or so ago when I was really hungry and that was pretty filling, and those things are tiny. 

There's no chance he's south of 300.  None.  

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Yea, I hardly feel like a wife can be "leeching" off her husband, especially not in this situation.  I would certainly never feel like my wife was leeching off me in any manner unless I came into a ton of money and all the sudden dozens of girls from my past came out of the woodwork trying to [Inks] me (which I would gladly accept but never marry them, but I digress...).  

I just can't get over this Granny's house thing.  Bushie seems to have the most close knit bunch of distant relatives I've ever seen.  I've never thought to do more than a day trip with my dad to my uncle's house in North Jersey, and we've never stayed over more than one night (usually when I was younger and my dad just didn't feel like driving back), much less stay at the grandmother's of a 2nd cousin for HALF A MONTH!  

That, and the "several family dinners".  Bushie claims to go to several family dinners over the course of a single weekend.  How does one have several dinners in a weekend, and how does it seem like this family can't get out of it's own way?  You would all be so much more productive if you weren't constantly beholding yourselves to meet up for dinner time and time again.  I don't think my family ever gets together for dinner outside of Christmas.

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The Braum's cheeseburger and extras were probably 2,000 total and I didn't put gobs of meat on the sloppy joes.  I just put enough to cover the bun, but not spill over.  I did have a couple regular cokes yesterday, so I may have had 2,500-3,000 calories.

You believe several sloppy joes and a couple of regular cokes are only 500-1000 calories?

The Braum's site lists their bacon cheeseburger at 730.  Plus fries and a couple cokes?  I'll ballpark that at 1400-1500.  Then 3 sloppy joes?  That's a lot, but probably no more than 400 each.  Hell, I'll give him 500 and then he still is at 2500-3000 for the day, so I don't think Our Dear Friend is lying with this one. 

But still... 2 points

1. All you ate was meat on bread and washed it down with Coke yesterday?  Jesus Bushie I hope you are still taking your multivitamin.

2. You mentioned you weren't feeling that well.  What the hell are you eating on a day when you are feeling spry?  I can only assume with all this focus on work and getting ready for CADD Round Two that any attempt at dieting has gone by the wayside. 

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The Braum's site lists their bacon cheeseburger at 730.  Plus fries and a couple cokes?  I'll ballpark that at 1400-1500.  Then 3 sloppy joes?  That's a lot, but probably no more than 400 each.  Hell, I'll give him 500 and then he still is at 2500-3000 for the day, so I don't think Our Dear Friend is lying with this one.  

Wait he said that what he stuffed himself with at Braum's was worth 2.000 alone, no? Then add the 1200 for the sloppy joes, and then another 500 or so for the sodas he just had to drink, and we're getting closer to 4000.

But more importantly, even if his calorie estimates were correct, they're utterly useless calories. Is it that difficult to eat real food?

Even if he said that, he's wrong unless he threw on a few more sides, or he went "off menu" to get something more calorific than the bacon cheeseburger, which I certainly don't put past him, but his past Braum's habits have been to get the basic meal (w/fries) and a refill of Coke. 

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what if everybody pitched in to buy BushOklahoma liposuction??

Like where your head is at Panda.  If I'm going to advocate for social democracy, I'd better put my money where my mouth is.  What percentage of liposuction would CheroKare cover, Bushie?  I'd donate to a kickstarter to cover the rest. 

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Have you napped? Had Braum's?

Yes and Yes and add sloppy jos for supper.

autocad?

No, unfortunately.  The AutoCAD computer is not set up, yet and even when it is later this week, we have company coming through for the first half of November, so I won't be able to use the computer with the AutoCAD until they all leave on November 15.

My sentiments exactly...

Why exactly does the presence of company make it impossible for you to prepare for the job for which you've claimed multiple times that you're going to actually work?

Because the computer will be at my grandmother's and that's where the company will be, too.  They will be using the bedroom that my computer is in.  I don't want to set it up here and then take it down two weeks later and move it.  First off, there's no room at my parents' for the computer.

And you can't set it up in your room because??

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

He's too lazy to.  That's why he's not answering.  Moving along to the lipo idea...

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Memphis, I wasn't feeling real well and wasn't real hungry so I let Dad clean up the meat.  I only had 3 sandwiches instead of my normal 4.  The malt I had at lunch kind of upset my stomach a bit.

RIP Diet.

RIP PANTS.

Yea, he didn't share that tidbit here.  Papa Bushie was probably so happy that Bushie had the requisite 4 pants instead of needing to buy him a pair... and then he finds out that Bushie needs TWO pairs because Bushie's been using HIS money to gorge on Braum's rather than hit the supermarket and actually buy something. 

The whole situation is just ridiculous.  I know it's business as usual, and this is the norm for their family, but I can't imagine what my dad would do to me if I can to him and said "Dad, can I get money for TWO pairs of khakis because

1. I NEED four, because (absurd reasons)

and

2. Two don't fit because I spend your money on fast food every day.

Bushie... this all has to do with your attitude and your diet.  I don't see how YOU don't see how these things don't affect your family.

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we have company coming through for the first half of November, so I won't be able to use the computer with the AutoCAD until they all leave on November 15.

RIP Granny.  Now I see why Our Dear Friend doesn't feel he's overwhelming Granny.  His whole family takes advantage of her so it's just normal everyday living.  Ugh.

Yeah poor granny, and I mean that seriously. Whenever my family gets together we never have it at my 84 year old grandmother's house. Instead we have it at my aunt and uncle's where generally me and my uncle will do all the grilling, while Nana sits and relaxes. And seriously, what kind of assholes feel entitled to come through for the entire first half of November to impose on granny? I've honestly never even heard of the way Bushie's family does things, with the exception of some of the radical evangelical beliefs, only me and a couple of my uncles dare question that.

It's not one set of company.  It happens to be three different families.  We have it over at Grandma's because 1) Mom and Dad live in a trailer so we don't have the space and 2) Her house is big enough so we don't step on each other, and 3) We are the only family in Oklahoma and we're central to everybody else.  Also, they don't impose on Grandma.  They come mainly to check on her and make sure she's doing okay.  I get offended when people think we're imposing on her especially after I've explained it several times.  We are not leeches or moochers.

Well, whenever you come to "check in on her", it's invariably to mooch, so I don't see why it's any different for them. There are these things called phones; they're used to call people. Also, automobiles, which can quickly take someone to and fro once they've obviously overstayed what is a reasonable amount of time to be in one person's house without living there and paying the bills.

Old people like to have company - that means people visiting for "a spell" - and not have half the damn "family" (which sounds like a bunch of people who aren't even blood) rotating through the poor lady's bedrooms for weeks and weeks on end like a pay-by-the-hour motel. Except this is one where people make up excuses for free lodging. Didn't she just have a caravan of McPoyles roam through a couple of months ago for the better part of a month?

LMAO.

And yes, it is so strange how much of Granny's time/energy/space is taken up by these people.  Like so much of the Update saga, it's simply unheard of with me.  She's 88 for [Inks] sake and her house is used up like a damn hostel.

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hahah the bushie family/mcpoyle comparison is terrific

I bet some of them are soooooo strange, but I'm not going to sit here and make incest jokes.  That's messed up.

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I am just loving this mental picture of Bushie, Mama Bushie, and Granny moseying along in Wal-Mart to buy slacks. 

And how did mom make this easier?  Did she come into the fitting room with you? 

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I am just loving this mental picture of Bushie, Mama Bushie, and Granny moseying along in Wal-Mart to buy slacks. 

And how did mom make this easier?  Did she come into the fitting room with you? 

We went to JC Penney's for the record and she is not THAT invasive.  She does respect my privacy.  I chose which pants to buy on my own.  They were mainly there to swipe the credit card.  Grandma bought one pair and Mom bought one pair plus the jacket.  We went into Kohl's to see if they had anything, but they don't like big people.

Great to know you're a big boy, Jeff.  Good show.

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I am just loving this mental picture of Bushie, Mama Bushie, and Granny moseying along in Wal-Mart to buy slacks. 

And how did mom make this easier?  Did she come into the fitting room with you? 

We went to JC Penney's for the record and she is not THAT invasive.  She does respect my privacy.  I chose which pants to buy on my own.  They were mainly there to swipe the credit card.  Grandma bought one pair and Mom bought one pair plus the jacket.  We went into Kohl's to see if they had anything, but they don't like big people.

Great to know you're a big boy, Jeff.  Good show.

I'm a big boy in more than one way!

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Bushie is either lying or simply too lazy to bother checking. Anyone can download a copy of AutoCAD. You do not need a .edu e-mail address to create an account.

WHAT A TWIST

RIP practicing, guys.  It's not happening.

Bushie, you really need to own your flaws.  Just say you're not going to do it because you don't want to.

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I'm trying to download and install AutoCAD 2015 now.

and metrotech wanted you to think you were getting autocad for free because of them!

Wait a second... so this whole time, MetroTech was... wait for it... a scam?

Nah... I think we have enough material with Jeff's daily conundrums that we don't have to be conjuring things up.  CAD(D) certainly seems like a legitimate skill, I just very much doubt Bushie's heart is in it.  Like I've said before, I think Bushie's dream is this...



...and not so much the career it takes to achieve it.  (Luckily, the dad in the photo looks to be pushing 50, so he's got time)

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Good thing I don't have to enter my user name or password when I open the program.

Any Tulsa to OKC or OKC to Tulsa runs planned today? 

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Kohl's isn't for fats? I thought that's what they catered to?

No, they cater to cheap.  We used to buy stuff at Kohl's because it's so inexpensive, thinking we were getting a really good deal, but their stuff falls apart too easily.  Even Walmart stuff is better made than Kohl's.  We don't shop at Kohl's anymore.

Kohl's is good for name-brand shoes at a great price.  And, ironically considering our current arch, khakis.  For jeans or shirts, never.

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Yeah, I bought a pair of black boots from Kohl's last year, they had a zipper on the side, and one day when I zipped them up the zipper just popped off. I thought it was just me being a dumbass, but sure enough I returned them for another pair and the same thing happened, even as I was being extra gentle the second time. Kohl's is fine for buying a couple of flannel shirts or whatever, but unless it's Nike or another similarly trusted brand I would not buy shoes there.

I bought DC's there for $39.99, and they are holding up, so it looks like they at least don't bootleg them.

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Good Thursday evening!  I went up to Tulsa this morning and voted and got my printer from my apartment.  I'm at Grandma's now.  The first set of company is unpacking right now.  They just arrived at 1345.  We'll eat dinner at 1730.

LMAO!!!  Poor Granny...