Update XX: A Darn Good Judge of My Financial Situation

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I just took a Bushiesque 3 hour nap. Refreshing.

No waaaaaaay!  I just ate a Bushiesque dinner.  5 chicken strips.  Three in bowl smothered in mashed taters and BBQ sauce.  Two on a roll with buffalo sauce, pepper jack cheese, bacon, roasted red peppers, baby spinach, and oil.  Washed that down with a tall glass of Sprite. 

Yummy as balls!

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

You know, I keep hearing that being as fat as Bushie is common in Oklahoma but...



That's from Oklahoma City. So I guess Ingress players just never are as fat as Bushie?

Why would Okie fats be interested in a game that forces them out their Rascal?

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

BushOklahoma, how many seats do you take up on the plane when you fly to Kenya?

Right now, I only take up one seat with a normal seat belt.  I definitely need to watch it, though, before that changes.  The thing with my weight is it's all gone to my stomach and not my sides.  So, looking at me from straight back of me, I look almost normal, but looking at me from the side and it looks like I'm 9-months pregnant...

Bushie!  Could you be the vessel for the return of our Lord and Savior!?

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Between Ragu and the Brown family idea of good pizza, I wonder if Keystone Phil's heart can take it.

Let's see if he can complete the trifecta.

Bushie, what are your thoughts on Mama Lucia meatballs?

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Wait, is it not normal to have ground beef in spaghetti sauce? That's how I almost always have had it.

No, its perfectly normal, it just how Bushie initially put it. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Now, guys, you can't automatically dismiss it as a scam because they called me within an hour.

The website of this company looks legit and Google raises no red flags.  I'll have J-Mann and Smash investigate it this afternoon.

Minions!!!  Come forth and do my bidding!  King Bushie needs naps and burgers!

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

bushie which do you regret more:  the e-commerce degree or the cadd nonsense?

also you mentioned you had hot dogs for supper.  did you heat the hot dogs in anyway?  did you boil them in water?  you have mentioned you have difficulty boiling water for pasta.

That's a pointed question if I ever saw one.  I don't regret either, and I have no reason to.  Neither of them are failed opportunities.

I microwaved the hot dogs.  They were almost too much for my stomach to handle last night and may be why I'm still feeling nauseous even now nearly 21 hours later.  I doubt I'll eat much tonight, if anything.  I may just sip on the Sprite.

This is a good, albeit rough, way for me to lose weight.  Since I don't have an appetite, I haven't eaten a whole lot in the past 42 hours and I've been to the bathroom quite a bit (I would not want to be a fly in my bathroom right now.)  I already lost a half pound as of this morning, and I expect to lose quite a bit more by tomorrow morning.

Why not?  Flies love [Inks].

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Bushie, why do you feel that your religion can not ever be criticized, but then show vitriol through words like "idiotic Big Bang theory" (the theory that your readers mostly subscribe to).  So you can call us all idiots but it's never okay for us to call Christianity ridiculous?

Note; this has nothing to do with creation theory but your attitude towards irreligiouses.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I have not had any appetite whatsoever today.  I had some crackers and cheese around 1345, but I've had nothing else all day.  I'm just not hungry and I'm still too afraid about putting food in my body right now.

Damn, this sure is a tragic twist in the "Race to 300" storyline.

Lief, do you think this "flu" is simply a desperate attempt to stave off the big 3-0-0?  You know how big Bushie is with "milestone numbers" and other OCD-type things.  Maybe seeing 300 on the scale would drive even our favorite fat to utter annoyance and dismay at his massive weight.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I am home from the interview.  I think I did pretty well.   They gave me a little test to see where my skills are at.  I think I did pretty well on the test.  I should know by the middle of next week about this job.  Apparently, there are two positions open.  I also found out that the interview I had last Friday fell through.  I think my Tourette's did me in.  They said I was looking down too much.  Sometimes, my Tourette's causes me to clutch my head into my chest, which causes me to look down, but they took that as being insecure and anti-social.  My recruiter sent them an email today, as well as today's company, addressing that so they know.  For the company from last Friday it was probably too little too late.  Apparently, from the feedback I got, if I had not cocked my head like that or if they had known why it happens, then I probably would have been looking at a start date...  It is what it is, but I hate that my Tourette's, something that is out of my control, would cost me a job, but life is not fair, so I've got to move on.  Hopefully this doesn't happen tomorrow, because I applied directly with them and thus I have no recruiter or no middleman to vouch for me.

Do you claim Tourette's as a disability on job apps?  And if not, why not? 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I am home from the interview.  I think I did pretty well.   They gave me a little test to see where my skills are at.  I think I did pretty well on the test.  I should know by the middle of next week about this job.  Apparently, there are two positions open.  I also found out that the interview I had last Friday fell through.  I think my Tourette's did me in.  They said I was looking down too much.  Sometimes, my Tourette's causes me to clutch my head into my chest, which causes me to look down, but they took that as being insecure and anti-social.  My recruiter sent them an email today, as well as today's company, addressing that so they know.  For the company from last Friday it was probably too little too late.  Apparently, from the feedback I got, if I had not cocked my head like that or if they had known why it happens, then I probably would have been looking at a start date...  It is what it is, but I hate that my Tourette's, something that is out of my control, would cost me a job, but life is not fair, so I've got to move on.  Hopefully this doesn't happen tomorrow, because I applied directly with them and thus I have no recruiter or no middleman to vouch for me.

Do you claim Tourette's as a disability on job apps?  And if not, why not? 

I haven't thought about it, to be quite honest, because it's not a debilitating condition anymore.  I guess it would help, though.

Yea, it would explain some of your mannerisms.  Don't let your pride get in the way of that one.  Disabling doesn't always mean "not walking" or "pooing one's pants". 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I am home from the interview.  I think I did pretty well.   They gave me a little test to see where my skills are at.  I think I did pretty well on the test.  I should know by the middle of next week about this job.  Apparently, there are two positions open.  I also found out that the interview I had last Friday fell through.  I think my Tourette's did me in.  They said I was looking down too much.  Sometimes, my Tourette's causes me to clutch my head into my chest, which causes me to look down, but they took that as being insecure and anti-social.  My recruiter sent them an email today, as well as today's company, addressing that so they know.  For the company from last Friday it was probably too little too late.  Apparently, from the feedback I got, if I had not cocked my head like that or if they had known why it happens, then I probably would have been looking at a start date...  It is what it is, but I hate that my Tourette's, something that is out of my control, would cost me a job, but life is not fair, so I've got to move on.  Hopefully this doesn't happen tomorrow, because I applied directly with them and thus I have no recruiter or no middleman to vouch for me.

Do you claim Tourette's as a disability on job apps?  And if not, why not? 

I haven't thought about it, to be quite honest, because it's not a debilitating condition anymore.  I guess it would help, though.

Yea, it would explain some of your mannerisms.  Don't let your pride get in the way of that one.  Disabling doesn't always mean "not walking" or "pooing one's pants". 

That's a good point.  I will start doing that on future job applications.  Should I put it on my resume?  If so, where?

No you don't put that on your resume!  But you absolutely tell employers if you suffer from a condition that might make you come off as socially awkward.  If you aren't going to get rid of that disasta-stache then at least put down your condition on the application. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Bushie, you would be sown to 275 in a week if you walked for a half hour and didnt eat A LOT.  Walking is way more of a workout for you due to your weight.  Don't think of it as work.  Just go to the park and watch all the little critters scurry about.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Bushie, in order to lose four pounds in one day, you would have had to have burned 14,000 more calories than you consumed.  You did not exercise or move much at all so your calories burned was probably closer to the BMR of 2200 calories, 2600 max. . Plus, you didn't even fast, you ate hotdogs, cheese, and crackers.  You definitely came in at a net loss in calories these past two days, but it was no way more than 1000 calories net under, again, the most you could have lost was 2200-2600 calories since you did zero exercise.

Scientific fact isn't yielding here. You did not lose 4 pounds. You might have lost 0.2 lbs at best. Perhaps you stepped on the scale wrong or weighed yourself 290 on a full stomach, full bowels, full hydration and 286 on empty stomach, empty bowels, dehydration.

I weighed at the exact same time both mornings with the same clothes on and both on an empty stomach.  The scale showed 290 on Tuesday, 289.5 on Wednesday and 285.5 on Thursday.  The scale does not lie especially when all the other variables are the same.  That's algebra for you.

Is algebra legal in Oklahoma?

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I did some calculation and on Tuesday, I only had about 600 calories (1 3/4 hot dogs with just mustard was only 480 calories according to the nutrition labels on the packages.  On Wednesday, I had about 1,400 calories with 400 of that being the crackers and cheese and the rest being the Sprite.  Today, I had about 1,900 calories with 1,100 of that being from McDonald's and the rest being Sprite and 1 can of Mountain Dew.  Both Wednesday and today I have had a lot of BMs.  I had about 6 BMs yesterday and 3 so far today.

And because you didn't exercise at all it's literally impossible that you've lost 7-8 pounds. See King's post.

So, you are saying the numbers lied to me?

Yes.

It's physically impossible for you to lose that much body fat in 48 hours unless you ran a marathon, consuming nothing but water the entire day, and then fasting again with nothing but water for another day, running another marathon, and slept the entirety of the time in between both marathons.

If all takes is just eating hotdogs and sitting around and pounds fly off, nobody would be fat. Nobody would exercise.

So, I should NEVER believe my scale?  If it lied to me this time, when every other variable was the exact same, how can I ever believe it?

Gonna have to go with fluctuations in lunar gravity on this one, Bushie.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I was trying to be honest and sincere earlier when I posted my realizations after this stomach bug, but instead of being greeted with encouragement, I was criticized and talked to like I was an idiot.  Is that your definition of a friend?

It's amazing how different our worlds are, Bushie.  My friends and I DO NOTHING but rip on each other for everything and especially when one of us would do something so stupifying as eat McDonald's while dealing with a stomach bug.  Part of your problem is what you consider friendship to be.  My friends and I might be tough on each other, but we care.  Your definition of friends is a vapid church circle who greet every little thing you do with lordly praise and encouragement.  I understand this has been instilled into you over decades of Okie country livin', but the sooner you recognize you is looking out for you and who is just being polite, the better.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

The prevelancy of "...,yet"s in the last several Bushie posts is suggesting to me that not one thing productive is getting done in weeks.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Just walked by a man on the train wearing a button that read: "LOSE WEIGHT NOW! ASK ME HOW!"

Odds that his suggestion would have been "Drink Sprite. It does wonders for your family." ?

Greetings, Phil.

Yes, the diet stuff is done to death, but the hot dog/hamburgers/Sprite stomach flu diet is just gold.  You have to admit that.  These Okies... All old-fashioned when it comes to EVERYTHING, but can't even do the down-home old-timey flu/cold remedies.  Processed chain crap is like, all he'll eat.  And if Monday's spaghetti isn't crapped from a C.B. can and nuked to oblivion I'll be shocked.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Oh, don't misunderstand me here: his comments in defense of his lack of dieting are great. "Sprite does wonders for my family regardless of scientific facts." You can't ask for a more dewildering statement! But I don't care to see seven posts in a row from people giving detailed diet advice when they really don't care to see him doing better anyway. The clogging of the thread doesn't make those one or two comedy nuggets worth it. He provides plenty of comedy on his own with his updates.

I want more about his social interactions.

I agree.  Less with the endless string of family dinners at Cracker Barrel where the amount of hours stayed equals the tipping percentage and more about bowling night with his corporate worship gang.  Could you imagine a sitcom about this bunch?  It'd be like a well-intentioned It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Ah, the sight of Our Dear Friend, strolling through the aisles of Walmart, basket tucked under his arm, picking out only the freshest of fruits, vegetables and meats. Sounds like something right out of a Disney movie.

Strolling?  I have to assume Bushie uses the Wal-Karts.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I just walked down to the apartment laundry facility which is 1/4 mile from my door, put my clothes in the dryer, then walked back.  This is 1/2 mile in about 9-10 minutes.  I'll do another half mile in a couple or three hours.

You didn't drive?!

I just... I mean.... PROGRESS!!! 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Wait Bushie was in a bachelor party?  What the heck does a group of Christians do for a bachelor party?  They're Not allowed to do anything!

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I was able to bump it from 15 to 20 minutes tonight and put in 0.8 miles.

The calculator shows you burned 150 calories.  You need to do more. 

http://www.shapesense.com/fitness-exercise/calculators/walking-calorie-burn-calculator.aspx

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I was able to bump it from 15 to 20 minutes tonight and put in 0.8 miles.

How do you have to stop??  Do your legs get tired, you get out of breath??

Oh and do not skip meals, your metabolism is already a cluster****, it doesn't need to be made worse

 

Bushie literally said his heart would give out after a few miles, alarming as that is.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Guys, you have to crawl before you can walk. Go too much too fast and his joints could take hit and blisters etc. I did mix of walking and recumbent exercise bike. Strap on an 80lb backpack and many of you would not make it very far either.
At his weight, he could also skip a meal without that much ill effect. There are slightly different rules than normal dieters when you get up to certain levels of girth.

I realize that.  I'm not suggesting Bushie do anything that I do, go out running or anything like that.  However, it is amazing how out of shape he really is.  The fact he can't walk a mile, and thinks if he walks a couple miles his heart will give out is an extremely dangerous and serious situation. 

Indeed.  It is amazing how cavalier he is about how he thinks that too long a walk will put him six feet under.  Why and how could you live so debilitated? 

Bushie is a fat, but also a complete attention whore by his own admission.  We've said it before, but why can't we get him on one of those weight loss reality shows?  Bushie would probably be a national sensation.