I think I need some personal advice

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Are you friends with the girl's significant other?

That's really the important question here.

One of them, certainly.

If so, talk to him/her (the significant other). Maybe find a disinterested third party to discuss what to say (but then again, that's kind of what you're doing here, isn't it?).

If not, talk to the girl's aforementioned best female friend.

Don't do nothing, but try to handle this within a circle of involved people.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

I don't hold to this currently fashionable idea that a friend who enables or legitimizes through omission the terrible decisions of others is any sort of friend. Be complicit or tell somebody, don't half-ass it like a vagina lacking in gorm.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Bushie, just so we're clear, uh...you do understand why this situation is so delicate, right?

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Bushie, just so we're clear, uh...you do understand why this situation is so delicate, right?

Yes, I do, but I also know that delicacy changes very little.  The girl would appreciate it more if he went straight to her and be courteous and honest with her.

EDIT:  Just so we're clear, I've been in his shoes, not once but twice.  The first time I went behind her back and asked her friends and I felt like the worst person in the world.  My self esteem was shot for a long time, not to mention that damaged my relationship with the girl.

The second time, I learned from my mistake the first time and went straight to the girl and I felt a lot better about it and our friendship is still strong to this day.  I wasn't mean, but I was honest.

Put yourself in the girl's shoes.  Wouldn't you appreciate it if the person who was hurt came directly to you instead of broadcasting it all over the place and asking your entire circle of friends about it.   This is a very delicate situation, that's why even more crucial to go straight to the offender.

You have to remember, I'm 30 years old here and I have a little bit of wisdom, I've been in his shoes and I'm just looking out for my brother.

You have more experience with this than I do, then.

I'm just interested in Old Europe saying or doing something. I do believe that not doing so would be a disservice to his friends.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Bushie, just so we're clear, uh...you do understand why this situation is so delicate, right?

Yes, I do, but I also know that delicacy changes very little.  The girl would appreciate it more if he went straight to her and be courteous and honest with her.

EDIT:  Just so we're clear, I've been in his shoes, not once but twice.  The first time I went behind her back and asked her friends and I felt like the worst person in the world.  My self esteem was shot for a long time, not to mention that damaged my relationship with the girl.

The second time, I learned from my mistake the first time and went straight to the girl and I felt a lot better about it and our friendship is still strong to this day.  I wasn't mean, but I was honest.

Put yourself in the girl's shoes.  Wouldn't you appreciate it if the person who was hurt came directly to you instead of broadcasting it all over the place and asking your entire circle of friends about it.   This is a very delicate situation, that's why even more crucial to go straight to the offender.

You have to remember, I'm 30 years old here and I have a little bit of wisdom, I've been in his shoes and I'm just looking out for my brother.

You have more experience with this than I do, then.

I'm just interested in Old Europe saying or doing something. I do believe that not doing so would be a disservice to his friends.

I am too, I just want him to do it the right way.  As Simfan said, going around the circle will cause a massive explosion and that's actually worse than not saying anything.  Nobody wants to see a friendship or several friendships thrown away at this juncture, he needs to be a man about this and at least go to the guy.

I tend to be cautious in situations like this (perhaps overly so), so I'd go to maybe one other person first, just to work out what to say, but it would definitely be a bad idea to actually scout around for advice from multiple people in whatever social circles Old Europe and these friends of his run in, or to treat it as a way to avoid talking to the people principally concerned.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Bushie, just so we're clear, uh...you do understand why this situation is so delicate, right?

Yes, I do, but I also know that delicacy changes very little.  The girl would appreciate it more if he went straight to her and be courteous and honest with her.

EDIT:  Just so we're clear, I've been in his shoes, not once but twice.  The first time I went behind her back and asked her friends and I felt like the worst person in the world.  My self esteem was shot for a long time, not to mention that damaged my relationship with the girl.

The second time, I learned from my mistake the first time and went straight to the girl and I felt a lot better about it and our friendship is still strong to this day.  I wasn't mean, but I was honest.

Put yourself in the girl's shoes.  Wouldn't you appreciate it if the person who was hurt came directly to you instead of broadcasting it all over the place and asking your entire circle of friends about it.   This is a very delicate situation, that's why even more crucial to go straight to the offender.

You have to remember, I'm 30 years old here and I have a little bit of wisdom, I've been in his shoes and I'm just looking out for my brother.

You have more experience with this than I do, then.

I'm just interested in Old Europe saying or doing something. I do believe that not doing so would be a disservice to his friends.

I am too, I just want him to do it the right way.  As Simfan said, going around the circle will cause a massive explosion and that's actually worse than not saying anything.  Nobody wants to see a friendship or several friendships thrown away at this juncture, he needs to be a man about this and at least go to the guy.

I tend to be cautious in situations like this (perhaps overly so), so I'd go to maybe one other person first, just to work out what to say, but it would definitely be a bad idea to actually scout around for advice from multiple people in whatever social circles Old Europe and these friends of his run in, or to treat it as a way to avoid talking to the people principally concerned.

I believe that's what he's doing by asking the forum.  People who will never see or talk to the couple.  (Just don't let them read the forum or you're dead!!)

Point taken. I meant one other person who has some conception of who the people involved are and what they're like. Then again, that's just what I personally would do, and I have a track record that's both sparse and decidedly mixed when it comes to dealing with things like this.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Nathan, if Bushie thinks its a good idea...it's not a good idea...

I know that that's usually the case, hence I'm still far from convinced that going immediately to the people involved is the best way to address this.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

You speak as if I'm some random somebody, but I'm coming from the position of a close friend. Old Europe speaks as if he is really, really close to the woman in question, at least, and I think from there it wouldn't be seen as "busybodying". I wouldn't. If my friends came to me and said "Simfan- what you are doing is wrong", I might be upset, but it wouldn't be as if it was some random stranger.

I speak from personal experience of having the emotional/ethical sh**t verbally kicked out of me by close friends on quite a few occasions, all of which I think were perfectly justified given the character of close friendship. I don't think sexual decisions are unique in this. They're still decisions that come from certain places in one's personality and character and affect one's life.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Not nearly enough information was presented to give any sort of intelligent advice. Depending on the friendship, you might ask if her relationship is winding down or whatever, it does depend on the relationship with her boyfriend, or former boyfriend, and so forth. 

This is a possibility I hadn't considered. It seems like it would be worthwhile trying to ascertain whether this is the case.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Are you friends with her boyfriend - then see bros before hoes. If not stay out. That should be the only person you would have have to consider talking to if you are a male.

In a better world these distinctions would be entirely irrelevant to questions like this.