Update Season VIII - "Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!"

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

There are no tigers in Kenya.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Does anybody know why Bushie uses military time?

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Bushie needs to get drunk and bang a bridesmaid and tell us about it. We need more entertainment here.

I have this feeling it'll be a dry wedding tonight that he's attending. I couldn't imagine anything worse.

This being a church, there will be no alcohol at the reception.

Most churches have alcohol in the service.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Bushie needs to get drunk and bang a bridesmaid and tell us about it. We need more entertainment here.

I have this feeling it'll be a dry wedding tonight that he's attending. I couldn't imagine anything worse.

This being a church, there will be no alcohol at the reception.

Most churches have alcohol in the service.

Not this one.  We are a very conservative and very traditional church, so no alcohol allowed on church grounds at any time.

That's neither 'very conservative' nor 'very traditional'.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Bushie needs to get drunk and bang a bridesmaid and tell us about it. We need more entertainment here.

I have this feeling it'll be a dry wedding tonight that he's attending. I couldn't imagine anything worse.

This being a church, there will be no alcohol at the reception.

Most churches have alcohol in the service.

Not this one.  We are a very conservative and very traditional church, so no alcohol allowed on church grounds at any time.

That's neither 'very conservative' nor 'very traditional'.

It's certainly not traditional in any respect, but I would associate it with being very politically conservative.

Touché.

Anyway, the wedding is over and the bride and groom are off on their weekend honeymoon.  They're just staying at a hotel in Oklahoma City, I think for the weekend and taking a trip later.

Do you know where they're going for their trip?

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If three things ranked in descending order matter, why is the first of them 'all that matters'?

Does it matter whether or not the bride's mother or the groom's parents were happy? If not, why not?

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Plus, have you heard the saying "if Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy?"  In this instance the bride is Momma.  If the boss isn't happy, nobody else matters!

Well, yeah, if the bride is unhappy, it doesn't matter if everybody else is over the moon; I entirely agree with that. But saying that if the bride is happy that's all that matters is...

Never mind. I knew more or less what you meant. What I'm more concerned with is the emphasis you're placing on the bride's father, which I think is a lot more questionable than that which you're placing on the bride. The other family members at any wedding are giving their little girl and/or boy away as well. (If you construct the wedding as the formation of a new family. If you construct it as the fusion of two existing families, nobody's giving anybody away in the same sense, although obviously there are still reasons for mixed emotions.)

I've never heard that saying before, actually. I like it. I won't adopt it because it doesn't fit into my speech patterns, but I like it.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Ketchup is far too sweet to use in almost any circumstance. It's basically tomato-flavored candy.

Which is why you mix it with salty fried food. A delicious juxtaposition.

You can also use it as an ingredient in certain sauces and roux, usually as a substitute for something more expensive or difficult to find.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Bushie, why don't you just say 'something hit my windshield'? I haven't seen a single person here who thinks your working theory holds up as well as you think it does, unless your driveway goes through some hitherto uncharted range of mountains.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Bushie, why don't you just say 'something hit my windshield'? I haven't seen a single person here who thinks your working theory holds up as well as you think it does, unless your driveway goes through some hitherto uncharted range of mountains.

Ever wonder if he exaggerates about his supposed weight loss the same way?

I don't wonder about that; I'm resigned to it as probable fact.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Is there actually a hole in the windshield, or are there just cracks? Even if there is a hole, does your family not own a tarpaulin?

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Japanese 18th Century literature might be better, that way at least Nathan will post in it.

More like tenth through fifteenth and late nineteenth through early twentieth, unless we're talking poetry or kaidan.

I dunno 19th sentury French literature is quite a broad topic, might be interesting for a secondary story-line. Maybe Bushie could start reading a lot of Huysmans and post his reflections on A Rebours or Là-bas? That would be rather interesting.

That would be interesting.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Japanese 18th Century literature might be better, that way at least Nathan will post in it.

More like tenth through fifteenth and late nineteenth through early twentieth, unless we're talking poetry or kaidan.

Does this include that I am a Cat book?

(Sorry, ignorant of Japanese literature to an extremely high extent. Really the only names I know are Kwabata, Oe, Mishima, and Basho. Oh, and Murakami.)

Sōseki's writing period is 1903 through 1916 and 吾輩は猫である is towards the beginning of that, so yes.

Two questions: First, which Murakami? Haruki is the more famous in the West, but I maintain that Ryū is the better writer. Second, do you like psychological tragedies, philosophical war stories, or family melodramas? If so, then we have much to discuss.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Why don't you drink water, Bushie?

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Why don't you drink water, Bushie?

Laziness; preferring the taste of carbonated syrup over the fresh taste of water.

You're not on a diet by any even remote stretch of the imagination, I hope you realize. In fact, you eat and drink worse than most people who aren't on diets. In fact, you eat and drink worse than anybody I know.

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Good.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Bushie, let the dog in the house. It's the Oklahoma summer, for Christ's sake.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

If you weren't neglecting the puppy you would bring him inside like a normal pet owner.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

I obviously trust the SPCA more than the guy who can't string two sentences together coherently. Leaving a puppy outside all day is abusive. Dogs are social animals, and they depend on close attention from and interaction with their family, particularly at an early age.

So, your opinion is since I don't bring the dog inside is that I should lose the dog and be thrown in jail for animal cruelty?

http://www.aspca.org/fight-animal-cruelty/reporting-cruelty-faq.aspx#crueltyincomm

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Bushie, you're not going to go to jail even if somebody actually did report you. The police don't have time to deal with that (they're too busy beating up black people and drug users). The most drastic thing that would happen is that you'd have the dog taken away from you.

There is no reason for the dog to be taken.  We are not mistreating him.  Everybody is just trying to frame me and blackmail me.  Opie is right, this is a pure witch hunt.

Ooh, that's a new one. I like it. What are we demanding from you as part of this blackmailing deal?

Bushie letting his dog inside in the Oklahoma summer so he can cool off and be socialized properly would be a nice demand.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

I'm going to bed.  You don't understand anything.  Jeff 1, Forum 0.  Besides why are you purposely trying to ruin my vacation?

If you're as serious about this as you're making yourself out to be why are you calling it a vacation?

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

I couldn't figure out how to make the tilde over the e.  I did the next best thing.

That's not what a tilde is.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Another benefit from the trip is I lost 7.5 pounds while I was gone.  I had resurfaced to 268.5 before I left, but now I'm down to 261.0.  I'm going to start today to keep that weight off and try to lose even more.  I'm going to start by not going hog wild on the grilled hamburgers for dinner.  Instead of having my usual three hamburgers, I will try to hold to just two.  I can eat the "third" hamburger for lunch tomorrow.  They're good for leftovers.  Also, my mother bought me a nice Dallas Cowboy glass to drink water.  I am going to continue my water intake from the trip where I was doing 6-8 glasses a day, easily.  When I'm not drinking water, I am sticking with Diet Dr Pepper.  I may even get out there and walk with J.J. a bit.  I'm not entirely decided on the walking, yet, as I pulled a muscle in my lower back two weeks ago and it is still really hurting.  It made the 5 plane rides between Kisumu and Oklahoma City real fun.  It hurts to even stand with no extra weight in my hands.  It also hurts to walk, so I'm not 100% sure on the walking, yet.  I may be spending most of the day on the heating pad.  I had my mom apply some Aspercreme to my lower back last night, and I'll do that again tonight.  It kind of feels like it's extending down into my hip.  I may call the doctor Monday and make sure it's just a pulled muscle, not a ruptured disc or anything more severe.

While we're on this subject, 'cleaning up the meat' was also pretty great, although I'm not sure it was as memorable as either 'loving on kids' or 'briefly relaxing'.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Bushie. Does the dog or does the dog not have a penis? Does the dog or does the dog not have rows of nipples along the underbelly? There is no reason why you or anybody should need a vet to figure this out unless there is something very odd indeed about this dog.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Bushie. Does the dog or does the dog not have a penis? Does the dog or does the dog not have rows of nipples along the underbelly? There is no reason why you or anybody should need a vet to figure this out unless there is something very odd indeed about this dog.

I have nipples, Nathan.  Could you milk me?

I was under the impression that the nipples were significantly less prominent in male dogs. That might be by false analogy to my cat, though, since it's been a few months since I've actually been around a dog.

In any case the point stands. Bushie, this is not that difficult, and it is not unimportant.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Okay, I asked several dog owners of my acquaintance, and generally speaking the nipples are significantly less prominent on male dogs, even though they're obviously still present. I thought this was the case but I was less sure than with cats.

I promise I'll drop this subject now.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Jesus Christ.. literally. I used to subscribe to the same theological thinking as Bushie (to me, what he said is Christianity, period, if the Bible is your guide.) You guys are missing the point.

- Everyone has sinned, therefore no one is acceptable to a perfect God
- Jesus, who didn't sin, took the punishment for us
- If you accept this you are free from sin
- Now that you are free from sin, live as holy a life as you can

The Bible says we should not sin freely like there are no consequences because duh, that makes the whole thing look retarded, and furthermore it means you must not seriously believe. If you are saved, it will show outwardly by your works.

This is one of the best things to people about Christianity. You can always come back.

The problem is that what Bushie believes isn't quite this, or rather, it is but only in the most disgusting, self-serving way possible. I've bolded the parts that he doesn't seem to care about.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Jesus Christ.. literally. I used to subscribe to the same theological thinking as Bushie (to me, what he said is Christianity, period, if the Bible is your guide.) You guys are missing the point.

- Everyone has sinned, therefore no one is acceptable to a perfect God
- Jesus, who didn't sin, took the punishment for us
- If you accept this you are free from sin
- Now that you are free from sin, live as holy a life as you can

The Bible says we should not sin freely like there are no consequences because duh, that makes the whole thing look retarded, and furthermore it means you must not seriously believe. If you are saved, it will show outwardly by your works.

This is one of the best things to people about Christianity. You can always come back.

The problem is that what Bushie believes isn't quite this, or rather, it is but only in the most disgusting, self-serving way possible. I've bolded the parts that he doesn't seem to care about.

Actually, Tik hit the nail on the head.  Just because you have been saved does not give you a "license to sin" as it were.  Salvation will show through your works.  The Apostle James says "Faith without works is dead."  Works does not affect your salvation, but you can judge a tree by its fruit.  If someone's life doesn't exhibit good works, then one has the right to question if they've ever believed in the first place.  In my own life, I've made tons of mistakes, but there is a clear trail of wanting to get into His Word, spend time in prayer, assist my fellow man, etc.  Yes, I have a lot of lies and porn on my record, but when I repent of those sins, God throws those sins as far as the east is from the west and remembers them no more.  They will not be brought up when I get home.

I get that, but you don't seem to think this requires any quotidian effort on your part at all. Then again my soteriology is more or less that of Rahner.

Basically what this last page or two has taught me is that Catholicism is the only branch of Christianity that makes a lick of sense.

The one with the guy in the cape and big pointy hat?

You realize that's not actually an argument except in the most facile and uninteresting sense.