Ron Paul does not pee-he liberates urine.
Every time Ron Paul farts, the Liberty Bell rings.
Jesus wears a wristband that says "what would Ron Paul do?"
Ron Paul reproduces asexually.
A Ron Paul action figure can't sell-it does not change positions.
Ron Paul knows the muffin man.
Ron Paul could make soccer interesting.
Ron Paul is so fast he could steal a homeplate, but his conscious wont let him do it.
When Ron Paul cuts an onion, the onion cries.
On July 4th, there is a constellation of Ron Paul's face in the night sky.
Ron Paul put the sword IN the stone.
Ron Paul does not cut taxes-he kills them with his bear hands.
Ron Paul taught Yoda to use the force.
The rest of them, while unlikely are at least believable. But a sport that tries to steal the name of football from our beloved American sport will never be interesting to real Americans.
