Fake as in non-alcoholic? If so, who cares?
If fake as in "Brut" or "sparkling wine", but still booze: crucify the bastard!
Or you could just drink it, flat or not.
I think your first two lines sort of answer themselves (fake as in not being from Champagne, that is). I'm not personally a big fan of that sort of drink, so I'm not going to down a liter of it in my present state...that's life I guess. So it goes.
What annoys me is that out of all the things that I have to deal with today this was the one I actually foresaw on the night itself and tried to prevent. To which he said that I shouldn't be a cheap bastard, which annoyed me, both because that wasn't the reason (I had bought it to give to people at the party, I just didn't like wasting it) and because I fricking paid for everyone's food and was offering fine whisky and port.
Anyway, that was my rant. I have to do more cleaning now...