Update Season VIII - "Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!"

[Adam Griffin]

Okay here's my theory: there's a hobo that lives in the abandoned building a couple of miles down Bushie's driveway

he spends most of his free time having brief relaxations in sheds and throwing rocks at passersby

[Adam Griffin]

Jesus, you can find out in like 5 seconds by clicking here or here . Obviously, they have internet in OK.

[Adam Griffin]

Bushie. Does the dog or does the dog not have a penis? Does the dog or does the dog not have rows of nipples along the underbelly? There is no reason why you or anybody should need a vet to figure this out unless there is something very odd indeed about this dog.

I have nipples, Nathan.  Could you milk me?

I was under the impression that the nipples were significantly less prominent in male dogs. That might be by false analogy to my cat, though, since it's been a few months since I've actually been around a dog.

In any case the point stands. Bushie, this is not that difficult, and it is not unimportant.

The fact that you didn't get that joke made me very very sad...

Fun fact: I had a cat named Jinx, whose name was derived solely from this movie.

[Adam Griffin]

Dude just get a job

seriously if money is a problem why aren't you out jobhunting right now

you're not even trying and you don't even care, do you?

A quick Google search shows over 600 part time jobs in Bushie's area, so no.  Maybe memphis can apply for Bushie again.

I am looking.  It is absolutely, 100% mandatory though that I get Sunday's off.  There is no way around that.

Wait, God won't let you work a 3-11 shift Sunday?

I could do a Sunday evening shift, reluctantly, but I would prefer to have the entire day Sunday off.  I like to go to church twice on Sunday's.  If I could choose, I would prefer to have Wednesday nights off as well for the same reason.  Since I know beggars can't be choosers, I'm not going to make Wednesday a deal breaker.  What would be a deal breaker is Sundays before 1400.

Seriously, Bushie, start applying.  There won't be any deals to break without applying.  You owe it to yourself, your parents and your kids to start working right away.

Ridiculous! You're looking for a part-time job and you think you can ask for Sundays off automatically? LOL! People who hold steady jobs and have solid work histories get to be off on Sunday - the rest get to praise The Lord from the drive-thru window or the end of the checkout lane. How many people are just as religious as you? Furthermore, what's the percentage of them that hold down stable employment? That's with whom you'll be competing, even if it's for part-time.

Bushie: "I'd like a job!"
Employer: "Wow, it looks like you've quite a quite a few of them! Maybe more than anyone else I've ever interviewed!"
Bushie: "I'll also need every Sunday ever off for the next two months that I'll bother showing up to this job."
Employer: "Fantastic! You're hired!"

...

Said no employer ever.

[Adam Griffin]

Guys, keeping a dog outside isn't going to kill it. Do you think dogs didn't exist before air conditioning? As long as she has shade and plenty of water, she will survive 105 degrees let alone 95 degrees. Hate to burst your upper middle class bubble, but there are plenty of people who survive in those sorts of temperatures.

Indeed. I was shocked at the amount of butt-hurt expressed about that situation prior and really wanted to weigh in, but the levels of smug were just too great. I didn't follow it very closely, but Bushie was not abusing an animal by refusing to allow it to stay in his mobile home all day long. There are plenty of things in Update about which anyone can get upset, but those of us who didn't grow up in concrete jungles or lavish settings know that dogs being outside during the summer =/= cruelty, so long as it has access to food, water, shade and at least some type of shelter (covered porch, crawlspace under the steps, a cool garage, etc). What I consider abuse is the purchase of those horribly-mutated "yapyap" dogs that die prematurely and whose throats periodically collapse upon themselves because they're so inbred due to kitschy human demand.

What burns my biscuits is how many of the same people are now telling Bushie that it's OK for him to request a particular day of the week off (a weekend day, no less) when applying for a part-time job with a less-than-sterling employment history. Sure, we'd all like working conditions to be better and more flexible, but he should work within the confines of what is and not what should be. If you are working for a multi-national corporation that most likely will be paying you less than $10/hour for less than 30 hours/week of work, then you need to be prepared to work whenever you are needed - the reason these jobs are flexible in their scheduling is because those with "seniority" get more flexibility in their schedules (and because of high turnover rates that lead to a constant need for "the help" to fill in the gaps).

[Adam Griffin]

I've already been to heaven
I've already been to heaven
I've already been to heaven
After 5 minutes I was like "let's go"

[Adam Griffin]

There's not enough rain in Oklahoma
To wash the sins out of that house
There's not enough wind in Oklahoma
To rip the nails out of the past