The Michael A. Naso Institute of Comedy

[Paul Kemp]

Yes no talking in the institute unless you are Naso.

Has he ever showed up in this thread other than in quotes ?

Has Abe ever been to the Lincoln Monument?

[Paul Kemp]

The closest thing I had to a feud was with Flyers years ago.

I'd hate to bring this up here than elsewhere but Marokai and px more recently would certainly qualify. Maybe even Badger today.

And Joe Republic.......but who is counting

That's just a lover's quarrel.

[Paul Kemp]

Well, technically yes, though we were wanking our own, not the next fellows, so it wasn't really gay.

Perfect.

[Paul Kemp]

Gold at 1827.36.

[Paul Kemp]

Super Tuesday 2012, the home of Bill and Hillary Clinton, Chappaqua, New York.

This is CNN.  This has been an incredible night.  For the first time in the history of the United States, a female candidate has secured the nomination of one of the major parties.  With the results of Super Tuesday now in, we can confirm that Minnesota Congresswoman Michelle Bachman has secured enough delegates to make her the Republican Presidential nominee.

We now take you live to the Michelle Bachman headquarters where she is about to address the nation.

MB:  My friends, my fellow Americans, tonight, we have seen history made in America.  Not only because a female candidate is the nominee of one of our major parties, but because Americans have made it clear they want new direction and new opportunities.  I pledge tonight, a new day for America..........

Hillary (at the top of her voice):  I can't take it Bill, I can't take it anymore.  Michelle Bachman, Michelle Bachman of all people, has succeded where I failed.  She's running for President Bill, as a major candidate.

Hillary hurls a crystal glass across the room, smashing it into a stone wall, shattering into hundreds of pieces.

Hillary (still in a loud voice):  Where's the justice Bill, where's the justice?  I have more ability in my little finger to be President than Bachman has in her entire body.  Why Bill, why, why?

Bill (quietly, calmly):  Hillary, calm down, calm down.  Tymes are different now than they were four years ago.  We just have ta accept this as the way things are now.

Hillary:  Accept it?  Accept it?  How can I accept it Bill, how?  Bachman will go down in history regardless of what happens in the election.  There will be the inevitable comparison with me Bill, with me.  The comparison will be that she won where I lost.  I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS BILL, I CAN'T, I CAN'T!

Bill:  Hillary, yer makin' too much out uh this.  Ya have ta move past this and look ta the future.  Ya can't let this ruin the rest uh yer life.

Hillary (again at the top of her voice):  HOW COULD SHE WIN, HOW, AND HOW COULD I LOSE, HOW, HOW?  IF YOU KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT HER YOU COULDN'T POSSIBLY BELIEVE SHE WAS A BETTER CANDIDATE THAN ME!

Hillary at this point is storming out of the room.

Bill (by now losing his temper with Hillary, raising his voice):  Oh, for goodness sake Hillary.  Just shut up about Michelle, just shut up!  It just so happens that Michelle and I.....uh, I mean.....

Hillary stops dead in her tracks, turns around, glaring at Bill with an icy look that could freeze a steam engine in its' tracks.

Hillary (speaking in a quiet voice):  What did you say?  Michelle and I?  What do you mean..... Michelle and I?

Bill (clearly flustered, face turning red):  Well, I, uh, nuthin' Hillary, nuthin'.

Hillary is now in a rage.  She runs over to the fireplace mantle, grabs a bronze statue of Thomas Jefferson, charging at Bill with it with a wild look in her eyes.

Hillary:  YOU AND MICHELLE BACHMAN?  HOW COULD YOU?  HOW COULD YOU?  YOU DISGUSTING EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING!  THIS IS THE LAST TIME, THE LAST TIME YOU HEAR ME, THE LAST TIME!  

Bill:  HILLARY, NO, NO, AAAHHH!          

[Paul Kemp]

Naso is playing us now

The thing is that as ridiculous as it gets, there's still a great dose of reality in what he writes.

[Paul Kemp]

A lot of Gays have always liked Hillary, for some bizarre reason.

[Paul Kemp]

lol @ above hackery assuming AIDS, crack, violent crime, and teenage pregnancy has anything to do with the President.

In fairness, Naso was referring to what currently goes on inside the White House, not society at large.

[Paul Kemp]

Whats Stormfront?

[Paul Kemp]

It has become pretty clear that only a Paul or a Kucinich will fix our dangerous foreign policy mistakes here in the US of A.

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=140191.0

[Paul Kemp]

Humorous for style more than substance.

MITT  ROMNEY  WILL BE THE NOMINEE 2012  I'M WILLING TO PUT $10,000 CASH ON IT  THIS IS HIS TIME HE KNOWS IT.  THE  BAD ECONOMY IS GOING TO GIVE HIM THE NOMINATION. NOW FOR THE GENERAL STAY TUNED.....

[Paul Kemp]

Ag,

 Get a grip on reality.

[Paul Kemp]

1955:  Marty accidentally interrupts the moment when his parents were supposed to meet each other for the first time.  His mother develops a crush on Marty, and later attempts to seduce him with alcohol.  His nerdy father punches the school bully in the face.

2015:  There are hover boards and flying cars and sh**t, and people dress like it's the '80s.  Marty's wife is a MILF.

[Paul Kemp]

Do you still have erectile dysfunction?

[Paul Kemp]

Beat ya on that one.

Do you still have erectile dysfunction?

[Paul Kemp]

I doubt he'll be running this year.

He should start off with walking and build his endurance  from there. If he's ready, jogging in summer 2012.  Then maybe by 2016 he'll be in good shape to make a serious run.

[Paul Kemp]

Now, after I saw this, my life is complete.

So you're going to leave now?

[Paul Kemp]

The Blubb is back in action:

Good evening, my name is Jeff Boss.  Thank you for taking an interest in my campaign.  I will be running as a Democrat in the New Hampshire primary.  Given my state's proximity to New Hampshire, I will be making many visits to New Hampshire over the coming months.  My platform includes legalization of bestiality and decriminalization of all drugs. 

This campaign started almost ten years ago today, when I witnessed a family member my sister in law, high up in the NSA planning the 911 attack. She was talking about helping Ramsi Yousef (responsible for the 93 bombing at the World Trade Center) call his uncle Khalid Sheikh Mohammed (considered the mastermind of the 911 attack) from the NSA secret prison in  Alexandria, VA,  and they were talking about  flying planes  into buildings.  I never heard the dates or the names of the buildings and I never thought anything would ever happen. But on September 10, 2001, I was told to go the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. My first day in a new office, I was told not to be late. I was late.  The NSA wanted the oil in Iraq, which has the second largest oil reserve in the world. As long as there is civil war and mayhem in Iraq, the US controls the oil. If the Iraq government gets their act together, it will want control of its oil. Certain powerful people in the NSA told me that the electronic voting machines can be hacked into and the vote changed within seconds. If we do not have our vote, then we are not a democracy. By creating a culture of Fear, the NSA has helped to pass the Patriot Act, which trashes our constitution. Now, the government is bailing out the automakers, banks, insurance Companies, etc. When they bail out these companies, they in fact, own and control them. When the government controls these companies, it is like Russian style communism. Our civil liberties are rapidly disappearing. I will not let them hijack my country.

For more information, including my comprehensive platform, please visit my website:

 http://www.jeffbossforpresident.org/



Yours very truly,

Jeff Boss

[Paul Kemp]

Hi there, Speaking of death prediction, I find it really odd that one of the on-line death prediction services showed me the same death date that I was foretold in my dream about a year ago. www yourdeathdate.info/1/index.html - I can’t explain this coincidence in any other way except that there must be some kind of magic involved here.

[Paul Kemp]

We get this one in here yet?

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=140737.0

[Paul Kemp]

Why do you all refer to George W Bush as "dubya?"

[Paul Kemp]

introduced my son to Top Gun last night

Was this his first encounter with homosexuality?

only if you assume it was his first Tom Cruise movie....but it was the cut version of Top Gun, so he was spared most of the sword fighting scenes

[Paul Kemp]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

He's certainly wise to do it very carefully.  Definitely consult a doctor first, at least.

[Paul Kemp]

Her best feature is her massive mammaries, if you're into that sort of thing.

[Paul Kemp]

This is to scary. Please stop! Or please revise it to have Obama wear a bulletproof vest.