The Comedy Goldmine

[politicus]

We're definitely a 100 win team next season.

Napoli is a good signing, but I'm not sure about Victorino, and they're marginal moves at best. I can't see more than 85 wins, let alone 100.

That's not a funny quote - it's a case of him mixing up which team I support.

it's a joke you're not in on.

You shouldnt post it here if its an internal joke.

[politicus]

We're definitely a 100 win team next season.

Napoli is a good signing, but I'm not sure about Victorino, and they're marginal moves at best. I can't see more than 85 wins, let alone 100.

That's not a funny quote - it's a case of him mixing up which team I support.

it's a joke you're not in on.

You shouldnt post it here if its an internal joke.

it's not, if someone wants to pore through the public messages available on this board, they could puzzle it together.  also, false premise -- what's wrong with posting inside jokes here?

Its just annoying and not really comedy. Comedians dont tell jokes only they and their friends can understand.
This should be a thread for all to enjoy where you can get a good laugh, not some school boy club.

[politicus]

Out of all the Presidents who could be called Liberal historically, who are the ones who were truly Liberal in their own personal ideology and not just Liberal for political pragmatism? Basically, Presidents who were "true believers" and not just Liberal because it was politically expedient to be.

Presidents who IMO could be called Liberal in today's politcal climate:
-Theodore Roosevelt
-William H. Taft
-Woodrow Wilson
-Franklin D. Roosevelt
-Harry S. Truman
-Dwight D. Eisenhower
-John F. Kennedy
-Lyndon B. Johnson
-Richard M. Nixon
-Gerald Ford
-Jimmy Carter
-Barack Obama

LOL. Yes, Taft was a true Librul.

[politicus]

Because he says "He wasn't a good President" and then says "but Clinton is the best in the past quarter century"

If you think that all US Presidents since Reagan have been pretty bad (like Jeff apparently does) its not absurd to say Clinton was the best of them, even though "he wasn't a good President". In that case he was the best of a bad lot.  

[politicus]

From the "How many countries have you been to?" thread:

1: The greatest country in the world.

So what parts of China did you visit?

Gotta give credit when Hoosier's right

[politicus]

We better have the whole quote then:

Nice guys don't finish last....they finish in the shower. (Two and a Half Men)

In reality, it depends on the person themselves. It's very easy to generalize and in many cases books can be judged by their covers. But other times it's about perception. Take me for instance.

I never did so much as go on a date until I was 20 years old. I still live at home. Yet I have dated more girls than I can count. What's funniest of all? My biggest time period of dating the most girls occurred when I was without money and unemployed. In fact, my date life has gone sour since I've been making steady money. Perhaps less time focused on getting girls and more focus on getting money. Whatever the case, you would assume working and being around more people and having money would make you more attractive than being unemployed and without money.

There was a girl I dated a year and a half ago, with whom I'm still friends with today. We talk all the time but we just didn't remain in a relationship longer than a few months. This girl is close to my age, and gorgeous. She's hot. She liked that I played guitar and she liked my red hair.

We were a hot item together. I remember one day we spent the whole day and night together during which time we took this picture.



That night I went to my work. A girl I worked with who was 19 years old came up to me with an awkward smile. She asked if she could ask me a personal question. I said, "Sure."

She asked, "Are you a virgin?" I was slightly offended. Here I am, just a few hours after doing the naughty with my hot 19 year old girlfriend and another hot 19 year old girl thinks I am a virgin. Later that same night, me and another worker were talking about guitars. Another girl I work with said, "Mike...you play guitar??" I said, "Yeah, why?" She said, "You don't look like you'd play guitar, you look like you'd play the tuba."

Again, I was insulted. These girls look at me and see a redheaded Tuba-playing virgin. When in reality, I'm a redheaded guitar-playing womanizer.
It's the way I am perceived. I do often feel out of the times. One step behind. The best example of that is a picture from after my sister's wedding. All the guys from the wedding party were walking "Reservoir Dogs" style down the sidewalk and suddenly everyone decided to grab each other's hands and jump in the air for a picture. I tried, but as you can see from the photo, I was the only one who didn't think, "Let's all be youthful goofballs and jump in the air holding hands."



I was one step behind.

[politicus]

If politicus didn't do her Inks impression and lock the thread we could have quoted it earlier. 

Thread closers suck.

Okay, Ill reopen it. I just thought it had run its course.

[politicus]

I guess if Lief took a lot of Adderall he'd post like Link.

Who would I post like if I took a lot of Adderall?

Nathan.

[politicus]

I don't dislike Inks, I just think he has a condition

[politicus]

My flesh wants her.

Sorry Jeff, but given your amount of flesh that is funny.