The decline of fraternities in the US

[MurrayBannerman]

I wonder if the long term reason might be the end of gender segregated colleges and the increasing class diversity on campuses.

My college had no frats or sororities, so I'm no expert.  But, it seems dumb to create a friend group that's entirely men or women.  Women are really healthy for any group because they moderate the tendency of men to be loud and obnoxious.  It also seems dumb to have a social group that has a president and a treasurer and greek letters and all that jazz.  I've also seen greek life on other campuses that was very snobby, exclusive and hyper-masculine in way that feels icky and not fun.

But, having had a really tight knit group of friends at college myself, I see the value of social clubs.  My compromise would be that we should have residential campus groups, but they should be co-ed, egalitarian and supportive/inclusive of non-sportsy agro bro d-bag types.

It's not all men and women. You're forced to interact with sororities from the get go.

(Also, not in a frat since I'm an athlete, but most of my friends are. Also I got a few bids. Not bitter.)

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I find this thread comic, but it is only slightly so. It is the usual thing- BRTD making broad, universal conclusions based off of his own experience, here one data point, a decade-old one at that.

Mmmm, no. Those numbers are the current ones at my alma matter. They weren't much different when I went there though.

[Person Man]

I joined a fraternity as a way of getting involved easily while attending a 90% commuter campus.  I had many, many friends before I joined, too.  It's not always about the worst of the stereotype, and honestly, even some aspects stereotype don't always have to be bad.  On many campuses, you are confronted with hundreds of people who literally don't know anyone else.  Sometimes, a group of 18-24 year old dudes just want to find another large group of 18-24 year old dudes who bring girls around and prioritize partying more than the average person.  Guess what?  Frats do that whether you like it or not.  Do I like EVERYBODY in my fraternity?  No!  Of course not.  Did I make several lifelong friends?  Hell yea, and I've had times with them that I'll never forget.  And the culture of "degrading" women hardly ever went beyond offensive jokes behind closed doors, and we always treated the ladies we had over with respect.  The only time **** got weird was between bros and the girls they were dating.   

I can sympathize with that motivation. I think one of the biggest frustrations I had with college and in general was my inability to form any really lasting friendships. Involved as I tried to be on campus, those relationships never went any deeper than weekly meetings. And now I'm in that post-college phase of life where people would rather do their best to keep the friends they have than make new ones (and who had the time, anyway?) Last Friday was my 26th birthday and what did I do? Sit at home alone with a bottle of Pinot Grigio. I don't know how much of that is my fault or if there are things I could have done differently, but all I can really say is that there is a big gap in my life where something is missing.

Have you considered online dating or going to a hobby group? Maybe you can even find a night club in your price range that fits your "scene", if you live in a big enough town. Being in your late 20s( hell that begins when you turn 21, and have no time for smoking dope with the bros at the house and really begins with your first 30 or 40something a year professional job) sometimes means very little life beyond netflix binges, the gym and work. At least if you had a gf/by, you would have someone to be boring with. But I digress..

All of this being said, the entire Greek thing is fun, if you find a group of guys that share your virtues and vices but you can't be doing it with serious studies, unless you are gunning for a 2.7 in the "six year program", then again, if you are going to an ivy-league or at least a T14/50 school, you probably don't need a high GPA to land a good job.

Then again, some of the attitudes of some of those kids in the Greek program are going to send them to prison one day.

[Indy Texas]

Have you considered online dating or going to a hobby group? Maybe you can even find a night club in your price range that fits your "scene", if you live in a big enough town. Being in your late 20s( hell that begins when you turn 21, and have no time for smoking dope with the bros at the house and really begins with your first 30 or 40something a year professional job) sometimes means very little life beyond netflix binges, the gym and work. At least if you had a gf/by, you would have someone to be boring with. But I digress..

All of this being said, the entire Greek thing is fun, if you find a group of guys that share your virtues and vices but you can't be doing it with serious studies, unless you are gunning for a 2.7 in the "six year program", then again, if you are going to an ivy-league or at least a T14/50 school, you probably don't need a high GPA to land a good job.

Then again, some of the attitudes of some of those kids in the Greek program are going to send them to prison one day.

I was never really into the club scene. It would be nice if I had someone/anyone to, say, go to this with.

The general perception I had of a lot of the IFC guys at my school was along the lines of what you described. I was a liberal arts major who wanted to go to law school and figured I wouldn't have a lot to talk about with people who were going to sleep through four years of marketing classes and then go work for their dad's company. But later, particularly as a senior, I came across a lot of guys who I probably would have gotten along quite well with - one had studied abroad in multiple Asian countries and wanted to work for the State Department, another should be finishing up his PhD about now. And I was thinking to myself WHY WERE WE NOT FRIENDS IN COLLEGE?!

Since I somehow couldn't manage to forge a respectable social life even during four years of being surrounded by more than 10,000 people my own age who have copious amounts of time on their hands, it obviously doesn't get any easier when you spend 40+ hours a week working with middle-aged people and then go back to the suburbs where everyone is either my parents' age or 10 years old.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Franternities is one of those rare issues where I agree with BRTD 100%.

[Person Man]

Have you considered online dating or going to a hobby group? Maybe you can even find a night club in your price range that fits your "scene", if you live in a big enough town. Being in your late 20s( hell that begins when you turn 21, and have no time for smoking dope with the bros at the house and really begins with your first 30 or 40something a year professional job) sometimes means very little life beyond netflix binges, the gym and work. At least if you had a gf/by, you would have someone to be boring with. But I digress..

All of this being said, the entire Greek thing is fun, if you find a group of guys that share your virtues and vices but you can't be doing it with serious studies, unless you are gunning for a 2.7 in the "six year program", then again, if you are going to an ivy-league or at least a T14/50 school, you probably don't need a high GPA to land a good job.

Then again, some of the attitudes of some of those kids in the Greek program are going to send them to prison one day.

I was never really into the club scene. It would be nice if I had someone/anyone to, say, go to this with.

The general perception I had of a lot of the IFC guys at my school was along the lines of what you described. I was a liberal arts major who wanted to go to law school and figured I wouldn't have a lot to talk about with people who were going to sleep through four years of marketing classes and then go work for their dad's company. But later, particularly as a senior, I came across a lot of guys who I probably would have gotten along quite well with - one had studied abroad in multiple Asian countries and wanted to work for the State Department, another should be finishing up his PhD about now. And I was thinking to myself WHY WERE WE NOT FRIENDS IN COLLEGE?!

Since I somehow couldn't manage to forge a respectable social life even during four years of being surrounded by more than 10,000 people my own age who have copious amounts of time on their hands, it obviously doesn't get any easier when you spend 40+ hours a week working with middle-aged people and then go back to the suburbs where everyone is either my parents' age or 10 years old.

What is it that you do for a living? Its probably very lonely if you are relatively successful and are the youngest one amongst your co-workers or even charges.