Girl sexts; classmates bully girl; godly parents punish girl; girl kills self

[Хahar 🤔]

Am I the only one who thinks it's more disturbing that a 13 year old thinks suicide is the best option when faced with this kind of situation?  Or even that an entire town worth of children think it's totally appropriate to abuse a girl with words like slut and whore?

13 year olds are jerks. That's the worst age for bullying. Hardly makes it excusable but I could easily see that happening in my middle school if we had text messaging back then. At my high school a few jerks would've done that but most people would've stood by the girl. But in middle school everyone was a jerk basically.

Yeah, that's exactly my point.  It leads back to one of my only truly conservative social viewpoints which is that respect is severely lacking in our society.  And now that's being passed onto children who take joy in torturing their classmates.

Respect's always been lacking. This is nothing new.

[fezzyfestoon]

Am I the only one who thinks it's more disturbing that a 13 year old thinks suicide is the best option when faced with this kind of situation?  Or even that an entire town worth of children think it's totally appropriate to abuse a girl with words like slut and whore?

13 year olds are jerks. That's the worst age for bullying. Hardly makes it excusable but I could easily see that happening in my middle school if we had text messaging back then. At my high school a few jerks would've done that but most people would've stood by the girl. But in middle school everyone was a jerk basically.

Yeah, that's exactly my point.  It leads back to one of my only truly conservative social viewpoints which is that respect is severely lacking in our society.  And now that's being passed onto children who take joy in torturing their classmates.

Respect's always been lacking. This is nothing new.

I definitely disagree.  Obviously I don't know for sure, but at least the picture I've gotten through my life is of a much more disrespectful culture now than in the past.  Ignorance and bigotry maybe not, but general common decency is not what it used to be.

[Vepres]

Am I the only one who thinks it's more disturbing that a 13 year old thinks suicide is the best option when faced with this kind of situation?  Or even that an entire town worth of children think it's totally appropriate to abuse a girl with words like slut and whore?

13 year olds are jerks. That's the worst age for bullying. Hardly makes it excusable but I could easily see that happening in my middle school if we had text messaging back then. At my high school a few jerks would've done that but most people would've stood by the girl. But in middle school everyone was a jerk basically.

Yeah, that's exactly my point.  It leads back to one of my only truly conservative social viewpoints which is that respect is severely lacking in our society.  And now that's being passed onto children who take joy in torturing their classmates.

Respect's always been lacking. This is nothing new.

I definitely disagree.  Obviously I don't know for sure, but at least the picture I've gotten through my life is of a much more disrespectful culture now than in the past.  Ignorance and bigotry maybe not, but general common decency is not what it used to be.

In my experience, respect is non-existent among middle-schoolers, but they quickly develop it in high school (provided it's at least an okay high school).

[Хahar 🤔]

Am I the only one who thinks it's more disturbing that a 13 year old thinks suicide is the best option when faced with this kind of situation?  Or even that an entire town worth of children think it's totally appropriate to abuse a girl with words like slut and whore?

13 year olds are jerks. That's the worst age for bullying. Hardly makes it excusable but I could easily see that happening in my middle school if we had text messaging back then. At my high school a few jerks would've done that but most people would've stood by the girl. But in middle school everyone was a jerk basically.

Yeah, that's exactly my point.  It leads back to one of my only truly conservative social viewpoints which is that respect is severely lacking in our society.  And now that's being passed onto children who take joy in torturing their classmates.

Respect's always been lacking. This is nothing new.

I definitely disagree.  Obviously I don't know for sure, but at least the picture I've gotten through my life is of a much more disrespectful culture now than in the past.  Ignorance and bigotry maybe not, but general common decency is not what it used to be.

The Ancient Greeks complained about this. It's all about perception.

[fezzyfestoon]

It's all relative of course and impossible to measure, but it's just something I personally see as lacking.  And I also definitely disagree that respect develops in high school.

[Хahar 🤔]

It's all relative of course and impossible to measure, but it's just something I personally see as lacking.  And I also definitely disagree that respect develops in high school.

From my experience, everyone's a dick in middle school. That's not the case in high school.

[Mechaman]

Jesus Christ, why is a 13 year old taking, let alone sending, nude pictures of herself? And to a guy she wasn't dating! Girls shouldn't be allowed to date or own cell phones at that early an age.

Well, now you know it happens.

Yeah no sh-t it happens, the fact is that it shouldn't happen...

It depends. If you're fine with taking away someone's right to privacy and expression, sure.

What the hell are you talking about? She's a minor living under her parent's roof. She has no "right to privacy and expression".

What the hell are you talking about? Children aren't vessels that their parents or guardians can just control, and I hope you know that. If you're implying "my house, my rules", then I'm sorry, that's ridiculous. Even though the United States didn't ratify the United Nations' Convention on the Rights of the Child, they still signed it. Maybe you should read it instead of thinking that parents can do whatever they want to their children, or that they have no rights to privacy or expression because they don't happen to be lucky enough to be 18 years old.

Actually, children are vessels that their parents can control.  There's this little thing calle the family, which is actually the primary human institution.  And there's no such thing as positive rights, and even if there were, is sending naked pictures of 13 year-old boob entailed in those rights?

My favorite part of the article:

You must be logged in to read this quote.

She sent the damn picture again! 

When the "bullies" called her a slut, they were simply calling a spade a spade.  This girl wasn't worried about being a whore, she was worried about being perceived as a whore.  She couldn't take the heat and snapped.

Calling a "spade" a "spade" would've been calling the girl a very sweet girl with a heart of gold. Sending pictures of one's 13 year old boob to a guy is one of the sweetest things a girl can do. Hell, if it weren't for our ageist laws I would hit it.

[ilikeverin]

BTW I actually agree that the parents' response was not that unreasonable. The kids' behavior of course was totally unacceptable, as was the school's.

I find myself agreeing with BRTD on all he's said so far...?

I mean, really, the parents' reaction was kind of bad, but the thought that the girl killed herself because of anything her parents did was kind of absurd.  As is the thought that the parents would've known better than her peers her mental state.

[Vepres]

It's all relative of course and impossible to measure, but it's just something I personally see as lacking.  And I also definitely disagree that respect develops in high school.

Well, maybe not in New Jersey!

[patrick1]

This is just really sad. 

Many people are just bastards.  I think many are only singling out middle school because this is the age when said people are first forming and testing the limits of their "bastardhood".  Go to any nursing home in America and you will likely find a gossip circle talking about about someone.

[Sewer]

"If there was any race other than the human race, I'd go join it."

[minionofmidas]

What about the bulliers' right to freedom of expression?

what

Read the second sentence.
Bullying happens. (shrug) Most people don't take it that badly. The way it sounds like it was pretty much the entire school, that's sort of beyond what I can comprehend, except I suppose that's more the impression it left on the poor kid than the actual reality, but besides that, that much is sort of a "nothing to see here" kind of story. Kids have a right to be stupid, to a degree - that's pretty much what's meant by the "freedom of expression" line in this context, or at least what I took it as. That covers being so dumb as to send such a pic to someone who obviously couldn't be trusted with it, that covers a certain amount of bullying in that situation, too.
It'd have been the adults' job to step in here and show some support of her. Clearly she didn't get the sort of support she needed. It's sort of hard to judge the parents' reaction - at what point was that? How aware were they of the ongoing bullying, exactly? How aware should they have been? - but it's definitely very bad judgement. It's just unclear whether it's so insanely bad judgement that I'd want to damn them to their face. Because right now it's obviously them as need some support...
She was punished more than enough by what was going on at the school, obviously, without her parents putting on a little extra as well. Which must have sent the unintended message of "you're totally alone in this world". I'd expect a bright parent to figure that out. If they're given half a chance - presumably the parents didn't have a clue how bad the bullying got. Kids won't tell their parents everything.

School messed up too, of course, but, you know, a school has hundreds, sometimes thousands of kids to look after. Easier to miss a biggie like that than it is for a parent. Even if a school's personnel is trained and a parent is not.

(Someone remarked about the "sent the picture again" part. Yeah. That was strange. Some detail missing to understand what exactly happened there, or how that story got out, anyways. It seems at this point the school, too, piled on the punishment pile. Disgusting.)

What a waste.

[Zarn]

It's all relative of course and impossible to measure, but it's just something I personally see as lacking.  And I also definitely disagree that respect develops in high school.

Well, maybe not in New Jersey!

Students seem respectful in high school in this part of New Jersey.... not middle school, though. They aren't any less respectful than adults anyway.

I also do not believe that the parents did anything wrong. I may lean libertarian, but a minor is a minor.

[minionofmidas]

I also do not believe that the parents did anything wrong. I may lean libertarian, but a minor is a minor.

That's just saying they did nothing illegal, or that should be illegal. Which is true, of course.

[Vepres]

It's all relative of course and impossible to measure, but it's just something I personally see as lacking.  And I also definitely disagree that respect develops in high school.

Well, maybe not in New Jersey!

Students seem respectful in high school in this part of New Jersey.... not middle school, though. They aren't any less respectful than adults anyway.

I also do not believe that the parents did anything wrong. I may lean libertarian, but a minor is a minor.

I agree with you, but Fezzy disagrees that High Schoolers are respectful.

[fezzyfestoon]

I'm not trying to single anyone out, my whole point is that respect is lacking in our society as a whole.

[Ban my account ffs!]

The thing that pisses me off.. and makes me thinks the schools should be held somewhat responsible..

Is that they were so f**king hell bent on punishment that they ignored the signs and let her slip away.  How many people just turned the other way because she was "the whore that sent the topless pic to that guy"  Who cares if she looks sad and depressed, right?  She's a ho.

Unfortunately in the age of "we can't afford it" and "I WANT MY HARD EARNED TAX DOLLARS BACK", school counsellors, those best to recognize these signs, are the first to go.

We need to throw out the zero tolerance policies and completely rethink the way we do our schools.  As much as we'd like to think that our schools today are just bigger versions of the one teacher reading, writing, and arithmetic.. they're not.

Our middle school has 1300 students aged 11-14 and the kids are packed into classes 30-35 at a time.  And the school has 2 counsellors.

How do you think teachers are going to be able to recognize suicidal signs among one particular student?  Especially if the students don't even have the chance to build up trust with their teachers so that they might actually approach them about it?

In this day of "I WANT MY HARD EARNED TAX DOLLARS BACK IN MY POCKET.  SCREW THAT BITCH IT'S ALL ABOUT ME", we simply will let more kids slip through the cracks.

And our natural response will be "oh, there's not enough discipline in the schools.. or good old fashioned Christian values."

No.  There is too much stupid, unnecessary discpiline and old fashioned and outdated Christian values in our schools.  These are the very things that led this girl to suicide...

Schools can't deal with things on a case-by-case basis because there are too many students.  So in trying to be fair, it's one size fits all and zero tolerance.  You do something wrong, you are punished.  There is no inquiry or counseling that teaches the students WHY it might be wrong (and it's not because God said so, it's because it won't get the response the people think and will more than likely lead to your own humiliation).

I know of these problems because Minnesota is horribly deficient when it comes to support staff in schools.  We put all of our money into classroom teachers and we have good results because of it.. but we also have very high suicide rates among our youth because we don't have the proper staff to try and help these kids.

So yeah.. that's my mumbling view on the matter.  Let God punish the person for the sin if he must... but how about we just learn how to be reasonable again and maybe fewer kids will die.

[minionofmidas]

The thing that pisses me off.. and makes me thinks the schools should be held somewhat responsible..

Is that they were so f**king hell bent on punishment that they ignored the signs and let her slip away.  How many people just turned the other way because she was "the whore that sent the topless pic to that guy"  Who cares if she looks sad and depressed, right?  She's a ho.

There's another aspect to it from a school's pov and that's that what she did is actually illegal. Depending what jurisdiction you ask, it's producing child porn. You can (theoretically) go to jail for that.
They probably felt they had to inflict punishment.

What an idiot world we live in.

[Bunwahaha [still dunno why, but well, so be it]]

When humans experiment new technologies...

Unluckily there is always some 'casse' in French, would mean some 'waste'. Humans experiment all possibilities before figuring out that some are dangerous, before being more careful.

Yes, nothing new in the fact that people in mid-school are assholes, the new thing is the fact that the girl can do that, and that the guy could too.

Let's hope it makes a lesson, in the sens that people have to be more careful before sharing such stuffs, that parents may be more aware of what their kids can do today, and will teach them to be more cautious in their relationships with others and concerning the impact that such practices can have, and maybe, who knows, that people figure out that being assholes can be nasty.

As said before then, what a waste, the waste that novation can cause, unluckily. These things seem so stupid.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

I see nothing wrong with punishing the girl.  And them being "godly" has nothing to do with this - I know from personal experience that you can have parents who never go to church and aren't Christians who would punish their kid worse for doing something similar to this.

It's sad that she committed suicide, but ultimately, she sent the texts and she's the one who killed herself.

Now, if any of the bullies broke the law in what they did, I'd like to see them punished to the full extent of the law.