Update Thread and Other Ramblings by BushOklahoma

[Joe Biden 2020]

She met my parents tonight and it was a HUGE success!!  They love her and she loves them.  They told me that they could tell that she needs me and I needed her and that she really likes me.  They didn't think Tiffanye even liked me and definitely didn't need me.  So, it was a great first encounter with her and my parents.  Friday night, we'll either have another game night with our friends, or we might have a movie night with my parents.  Saturday is a Valentine's Banquet and she will be going to church with me Sunday morning.  So, it will be a great weekend up ahead!!

You're in violation of point number one of Fast Time's Five Point Plan: First of all 'Dat, you never let on how much you like a girl.

Hey, I'm just repeating what my mother told me.

Anyway, Friday night went great!!  We went over to my parents and ate dinner and watched the Marx Brothers movie Duck Soup which she loved.  Then, I took her to my grandmother's and introduced them to each other before taking her home.  Tonight is the Valentine's BBQ and tomorrow morning she's going to church with me, so we still have a good weekend together!!

And in the interim???

I'm sleeping in my bed at my house and she's sleeping in her bed at her house 11 miles away.

[King]

This relationship is actually kinda cute compared to the debate over and eventual disaster of the Update thread one.   Sounds like you met a female very similar to you, BushOK.  Good luck.

[Joe Biden 2020]

This relationship is actually kinda cute compared to the debate over and eventual disaster of the Update thread one.   Sounds like you met a female very similar to you, BushOK.  Good luck.

Everything about this relationship is miles better than my previous relationship.  For one, we are going much slower which gives us time to get to know each other and she actually likes me which is more than I can say about the last one.

[J-Mann]

It does seem like this relationship is going well. But I'd still be careful about throwing around "I love her" and "she loves me" or "we need each other" at this stage. You're infatuated with each other, and that's great -- that's how a lot of relationships get started, after all. But you don't love each other yet. Love happens when the infatuation dies down and you care for each other more, not less; when you're more interested in each other, not less. Love happens after your first fight, your first genuine disagreement -- love happens when you can get over those times and be closer for them. Unless you're holding out on us, neither the infatuation has worn off yet nor have you had your first knock-down, drag-out fight ... you're too early in this thing to be throwing around words like "love" and "need."

That being said, I'm genuinely happy that you've found someone that you're interested in. You're undoubtedly having a great Valentine's Day with someone you feel is special!

[Joe Biden 2020]

Valentine's Weekend 2010 is over and it was indeed a wonderful day!!  Starting off with an inch of snow this morning to make for a postcard like scene outside, and then a wonderful morning service at church with my girlfriend by my side.  Went home and took a nap and then went to church this evening and then back to her house for some of her mother's spaghetti (a wonderful delicacy, I must say!!).  Susan and her mother made me some cookies for Valentine's Day and Susan got me a stuffed tiger and not one, but TWO, Valentine's Day cards.  I got her a teddy bear and a card.  Nothing too fancy, but she really enjoyed it, I think!!  We're now ready to move on from Valentine's Day and work our way toward St Patrick's Day and Easter.  She does have some Irish heritage in her, so March 17 should mean a little more than in previous years.  We are looking forward, though, to going through this Easter preparation season called Lent together which starts this Wednesday, February 17.  I will say that we have started talking about the future more and more and where and when do we go from here.  We both agree that any advancement won't happen until late this summer at the earliest or more likely mid-fall.  No wedding would happen until the summer of 2011.  We need time to get to know each other more, so that's why the tentative dates are so far in the future, but we have talked about where does this go from here and when.  I respect her too much, though, to propose to her any earlier than August or September.

[J-Mann]

Valentine's Weekend 2010 is over and it was indeed a wonderful day!!  Starting off with an inch of snow this morning to make for a postcard like scene outside, and then a wonderful morning service at church with my girlfriend by my side.  Went home and took a nap and then went to church this evening and then back to her house for some of her mother's spaghetti (a wonderful delicacy, I must say!!).  Susan and her mother made me some cookies for Valentine's Day and Susan got me a stuffed tiger and not one, but TWO, Valentine's Day cards.  I got her a teddy bear and a card.  Nothing too fancy, but she really enjoyed it, I think!!  We're now ready to move on from Valentine's Day and work our way toward St Patrick's Day and Easter.  She does have some Irish heritage in her, so March 17 should mean a little more than in previous years.  We are looking forward, though, to going through this Easter preparation season called Lent together which starts this Wednesday, February 17.  I will say that we have started talking about the future more and more and where and when do we go from here.  We both agree that any advancement won't happen until late this summer at the earliest or more likely mid-fall.  No wedding would happen until the summer of 2011.  We need time to get to know each other more, so that's why the tentative dates are so far in the future, but we have talked about where does this go from here and when.  I respect her too much, though, to propose to her any earlier than August or September.

Goddamnit, BushOK, stop talking about proposing and putting timelines on it! Trust me ... you could have a disagreement next week and end up hating her guts! Even tentative dates at this point are ridiculously stupid.

I'm glad you had a good Valentine's Day, though

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Valentine's Weekend 2010 is over and it was indeed a wonderful day!!  Starting off with an inch of snow this morning to make for a postcard like scene outside, and then a wonderful morning service at church with my girlfriend by my side.  Went home and took a nap and then went to church this evening and then back to her house for some of her mother's spaghetti (a wonderful delicacy, I must say!!).  Susan and her mother made me some cookies for Valentine's Day and Susan got me a stuffed tiger and not one, but TWO, Valentine's Day cards.  I got her a teddy bear and a card.  Nothing too fancy, but she really enjoyed it, I think!!  We're now ready to move on from Valentine's Day and work our way toward St Patrick's Day and Easter.  She does have some Irish heritage in her, so March 17 should mean a little more than in previous years.  We are looking forward, though, to going through this Easter preparation season called Lent together which starts this Wednesday, February 17.  I will say that we have started talking about the future more and more and where and when do we go from here.  We both agree that any advancement won't happen until late this summer at the earliest or more likely mid-fall.  No wedding would happen until the summer of 2011.  We need time to get to know each other more, so that's why the tentative dates are so far in the future, but we have talked about where does this go from here and when.  I respect her too much, though, to propose to her any earlier than August or September.

Goddamnit, BushOK, stop talking about proposing and putting timelines on it! Trust me ... you could have a disagreement next week and end up hating her guts! Even tentative dates at this point are ridiculously stupid.

I'm glad you had a good Valentine's Day, though

Amen, Jmann

[Joe Biden 2020]

Another awesome date this evening!!  We have now been with each other 9 times over the past month and our fondness for each other is growing by leaps and bounds every time we meet.  I know it's still a bit early to say this, and you can disagree until you are blue in the face, but this is true and genuine love now.  We still need quite a bit more time before things start happening, but we are rapidly approaching the true love stage if we're not there already.  Depending on the weather, I will probably spend most of the day with her and her family this Saturday.

[fezzyfestoon]

I know you think of your current pace as slow, but you're jumping way too far ahead with this.  Think of love as being the average 6+ month occurrence and marriage talk a bit premature before several years.

[Torie]

Another awesome date this evening!!  We have now been with each other 9 times over the past month and our fondness for each other is growing by leaps and bounds every time we meet.  I know it's still a bit early to say this, and you can disagree until you are blue in the face, but this is true and genuine love now.  We still need quite a bit more time before things start happening, but we are rapidly approaching the true love stage if we're not there already.  Depending on the weather, I will probably spend most of the day with her and her family this Saturday.

To get a tad serious here, what does "true and genuine love" mean to you BushOK?  Feel free to ignore this question, since it is rather personal and intrusive. But I think it is something to ponder that might be worthwhile.

[Хahar 🤔]

I know you think of your current pace as slow, but you're jumping way too far ahead with this.  Think of love as being the average 6+ month occurrence and marriage talk a bit premature before several years.

Ah, but love isn't a prerequisite for marriage, now, is it?

[TeePee4Prez]

Valentine's Weekend 2010 is over and it was indeed a wonderful day!!  Starting off with an inch of snow this morning to make for a postcard like scene outside, and then a wonderful morning service at church with my girlfriend by my side.  Went home and took a nap and then went to church this evening and then back to her house for some of her mother's spaghetti (a wonderful delicacy, I must say!!).  Susan and her mother made me some cookies for Valentine's Day and Susan got me a stuffed tiger and not one, but TWO, Valentine's Day cards.  I got her a teddy bear and a card.  Nothing too fancy, but she really enjoyed it, I think!!  We're now ready to move on from Valentine's Day and work our way toward St Patrick's Day and Easter.  She does have some Irish heritage in her, so March 17 should mean a little more than in previous years.  We are looking forward, though, to going through this Easter preparation season called Lent together which starts this Wednesday, February 17.  I will say that we have started talking about the future more and more and where and when do we go from here.  We both agree that any advancement won't happen until late this summer at the earliest or more likely mid-fall.  No wedding would happen until the summer of 2011.  We need time to get to know each other more, so that's why the tentative dates are so far in the future, but we have talked about where does this go from here and when.  I respect her too much, though, to propose to her any earlier than August or September.

Goddamnit, BushOK, stop talking about proposing and putting timelines on it! Trust me ... you could have a disagreement next week and end up hating her guts! Even tentative dates at this point are ridiculously stupid.

I'm glad you had a good Valentine's Day, though

Amen, Jmann

Other than the timelines, I'd say he's doing mighty well though!  Keep it up BushOK.  Just skip the deadlines.

[phk]

I know you think of your current pace as slow, but you're jumping way too far ahead with this.  Think of love as being the average 6+ month occurrence and marriage talk a bit premature before several years.

Ah, but love isn't a prerequisite for marriage, now, is it?

My parents first met at their wedding. But that was a different world in Punjab.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Wedding in 2010, mark my word.

[TeePee4Prez]

Wedding in 2010, mark my word.

If it happens, it probably won't be the worst thing in the world.  I just hope the ring comes out at a minimum in 4 months though.  My parents were 3 mos. btw.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Wedding in 2010, mark my word.

If it happens, it probably won't be the worst thing in the world.  I just hope the ring comes out at a minimum in 4 months though.  My parents were 3 mos. btw.

I was married 4 months to the day after our first date and we're close to 30 years........but I'm not Bushie.....

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I hope we're all invited to the celebration. Can I slip a flask for myself and the olds?

[TeePee4Prez]

I hope we're all invited to the celebration. Can I slip a flask for myself and the olds?

I filled mine with Tullamore Dew on my brother's wedding.  I slipped very small ice cubes in to keep it cold.  I actually like it on the rocks.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Wedding in 2010, mark my word.

If it happens, it probably won't be the worst thing in the world.  I just hope the ring comes out at a minimum in 4 months though.  My parents were 3 mos. btw.

I'm still thinking probably 2011, but we'll see.  For now, we're just enjoying each other's company and getting to know each other.

[J-Mann]

Wedding in 2010, mark my word.

If it happens, it probably won't be the worst thing in the world.  I just hope the ring comes out at a minimum in 4 months though.  My parents were 3 mos. btw.

I'm still thinking probably 2011, but we'll see.  For now, we're just enjoying each other's company and getting to know each other.

And that's the way you should keep it, for the time being! I'm certainly not saying that love can't blossom quickly, but based on your last experience, I've gathered that you fall both fast and hard for women that you're dating. Infatuation can be blinding ... take it from someone who knows!

I thought of you as I was going through some old documents on my computer the other night. I found a letter that I'd written to someone I "loved" after only a few weeks. I told him about how great it was to meet someone like him, how much our first date and our first night together meant and that all I wanted was to get to know him better and spend more time with him, even though he lived halfway across the country. The first night we were together, he told me (in his heavily accented broken English) that I might fall in love with him, and I told him that I thought he was right.

Reading that with the benefit of hindsight is, if not embarrassing, at least a wake-up call that initial infatuation can make things seem so much better than they are. In the following months, we got bored with each other; our conversations grew stale and there was no new ground to cover; I'd travel 1,500 miles to see him and he'd act like it was an inconvenience; I'd ignore his calls; we got physically violent with each other at least once and fought about the stupidest things. The relationship ended after about five months.

The point is, if you hit it off with someone on the first few dates, you can fool yourself into thinking that things are so much better than they may actually be in the long run. And if you start making yourself believe that "We're totally in love and meant for each other, and I need her and she needs me, and I'm going to propose on this date, and we'll be married by this date," you put so much thought into planning for a hypothetical future that you ignore matters that need tending to in the present. Additionally, the higher you build up the relationship, the longer -- and more devastating -- the fall when it doesn't work out. Best to get yourselves to the summit gradually.

I'm not saying that relationships can't materialize into something much more in a short time frame; I am saying that they usually don't. Given your history with your ex-fiancé and general inexperience with the whole dating game, I would advise you to keep it slow, make sure that the two of you can get through the tough / boring / angry times together and care for each other more, and make surprises a part of the relationship. Spontaneity and fun will strengthen and keep your relationship interesting far more than hypothetical marriage plans ever will.

[TeePee4Prez]

Wedding in 2010, mark my word.

If it happens, it probably won't be the worst thing in the world.  I just hope the ring comes out at a minimum in 4 months though.  My parents were 3 mos. btw.

I'm still thinking probably 2011, but we'll see.  For now, we're just enjoying each other's company and getting to know each other.

You'll know better than anyone on this Forum when the moment is right.  So far, I think you are doing well and your Bill Dauterive-esque persona is fading away.  Don't rush or be rushed into a ring again.  Another thing I could see with Tiffanye is she has a kid and in all honesty I think you were probably screwed from the start.  As of now her kid is her world and you have to really fit in there.  Susan's inexperience is a HUGE advantage for you.  HUGE.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Wedding in 2010, mark my word.

If it happens, it probably won't be the worst thing in the world.  I just hope the ring comes out at a minimum in 4 months though.  My parents were 3 mos. btw.

I'm still thinking probably 2011, but we'll see.  For now, we're just enjoying each other's company and getting to know each other.

You'll know better than anyone on this Forum when the moment is right.  So far, I think you are doing well and your Bill Dauterive-esque persona is fading away.  Don't rush or be rushed into a ring again.  Another thing I could see with Tiffanye is she has a kid and in all honesty I think you were probably screwed from the start.  As of now her kid is her world and you have to really fit in there.  Susan's inexperience is a HUGE advantage for you.  HUGE.

I just talked to my brother and he said to not go too fast, but don't go too slow, either.  He says going too slow is just as dangerous as going too fast.  Although, there won't be any date this weekend as I have acquired a bacterial infection in my stomach that chased me out of work at 10:30 Wednesday and will keep me from work until Monday.  Since her mother and grandmother aren't in very good health, I don't want to give them anything.  So, the next date will probably have to be Tuesday night.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

I just talked to my brother and he said to not go too fast, but don't go too slow, either.  He says going too slow is just as dangerous as going too fast.  Although, there won't be any date this weekend as I have acquired a bacterial infection in my stomach that chased me out of work at 10:30 Wednesday and will keep me from work until Monday.  Since her mother and grandmother aren't in very good health, I don't want to give them anything.  So, the next date will probably have to be Tuesday night.

I'm serious about giving up fast food for lent (and forever, but let's start slow).

[Joe Biden 2020]

Tomorrow, February 21, will wrap up my first month of dating the most wonderful woman in the world.  We will start month #2 on Monday!!  We started dating on Friday, January 22, 2010. 

This relationship is now officially longer than the one with Tiffanye.  That lasted all of 4 weeks from Sunday, June 6 - Saturday, July 4, 2009 (the 3 weeks she put me on hold doesn't count as she likely had made up her mind immediately after I dropped her off.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

TIffany only lasted 4 weeks? What a rollercoaster that was! It seemed like it lasted forever!