Update Thread and Other Ramblings by BushOklahoma

[Joe Biden 2020]

Double Date Night tonight!!  Stay tuned!!

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Double Date Night tonight!!  Stay tuned!!

The fact that I probably will stay tuned just shows how pathetic I am.

[Joe Biden 2020]

The Double Date Night is in the books and can I just say, WOW!!!  Mexican food and games were the agenda for the evening, so nothing too fancy.  She told me tonight that she really enjoyed the entire evening and she wants to meet again one evening this week.  There was some talk of future plans, mostly by her, but don't you worry, there is no threat of a pre-Valentine's Day proposal this time.  The main talk of our future plans were focused on Valentine's Day here in 3 weeks.  She talked a little farther down the road, as well, so I may have to reel her in just a little bit, but we are going to go slow, though.

It was a great night all the way around!!

[Holmes]

I love how clergy issues bring the catholic side out of me in that I find a reverend double dating to be scandalous.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I've got another dinner with Susan this Tuesday night.

My mother pretty much threatened me within an inch of my life tonight to go S-L-O-W and be careful!!

[TeePee4Prez]

The Double Date Night is in the books and can I just say, WOW!!!  Mexican food and games were the agenda for the evening, so nothing too fancy.  She told me tonight that she really enjoyed the entire evening and she wants to meet again one evening this week.  There was some talk of future plans, mostly by her, but don't you worry, there is no threat of a pre-Valentine's Day proposal this time.  The main talk of our future plans were focused on Valentine's Day here in 3 weeks.  She talked a little farther down the road, as well, so I may have to reel her in just a little bit, but we are going to go slow, though.

It was a great night all the way around!!

You better be thinking after Labor Day to even think of proposal man.  Your mother is right.  Put the brakes on this.  If you're the one doing it, you have the advantage and us men need it.  Do not give it to them or they will eat you for breakfast like Tiffanye (HAHAHA, Breakfast at Tiffanye's).

[Joe Biden 2020]

The Double Date Night is in the books and can I just say, WOW!!!  Mexican food and games were the agenda for the evening, so nothing too fancy.  She told me tonight that she really enjoyed the entire evening and she wants to meet again one evening this week.  There was some talk of future plans, mostly by her, but don't you worry, there is no threat of a pre-Valentine's Day proposal this time.  The main talk of our future plans were focused on Valentine's Day here in 3 weeks.  She talked a little farther down the road, as well, so I may have to reel her in just a little bit, but we are going to go slow, though.

It was a great night all the way around!!

You better be thinking after Labor Day to even think of proposal man.  Your mother is right.  Put the brakes on this.  If you're the one doing it, you have the advantage and us men need it.  Do not give it to them or they will eat you for breakfast like Tiffanye (HAHAHA, Breakfast at Tiffanye's).

I'm definitely thinking no earlier than October.  That gives us roughly 8 1/2 months to get to know each other better and make sure this is definitely what we want to do.  I want to make sure that we're sure that we're sure.  Our main focus right now is Valentine's Day 2010.  We've got a few options that we can do, and we still have two full weekends between now and then to think about it.  To be honest, while I am thinking of this fall, its not a major thought right now.  I just want to get to know her better right now and then if things develop between us, then we can head in that direction.  That's why I am saying no earlier than October to give us the entire Spring and Summer to just date without having any hardcore planning.

[TeePee4Prez]

The Double Date Night is in the books and can I just say, WOW!!!  Mexican food and games were the agenda for the evening, so nothing too fancy.  She told me tonight that she really enjoyed the entire evening and she wants to meet again one evening this week.  There was some talk of future plans, mostly by her, but don't you worry, there is no threat of a pre-Valentine's Day proposal this time.  The main talk of our future plans were focused on Valentine's Day here in 3 weeks.  She talked a little farther down the road, as well, so I may have to reel her in just a little bit, but we are going to go slow, though.

It was a great night all the way around!!

You better be thinking after Labor Day to even think of proposal man.  Your mother is right.  Put the brakes on this.  If you're the one doing it, you have the advantage and us men need it.  Do not give it to them or they will eat you for breakfast like Tiffanye (HAHAHA, Breakfast at Tiffanye's).

I'm definitely thinking no earlier than October.  That gives us roughly 8 1/2 months to get to know each other better and make sure this is definitely what we want to do.  I want to make sure that we're sure that we're sure.  Our main focus right now is Valentine's Day 2010.  We've got a few options that we can do, and we still have two full weekends between now and then to think about it.  To be honest, while I am thinking of this fall, its not a major thought right now.  I just want to get to know her better right now and then if things develop between us, then we can head in that direction.  That's why I am saying no earlier than October to give us the entire Spring and Summer to just date without having any hardcore planning.

Don't even think that far ahead.  Think about the 2nd date and what your plans are.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Damn, man, how much did you tell Mommy about Tiffanye?

[TeePee4Prez]

Damn, man, how much did you tell Mommy about Tiffanye?

And Mom probably wants to kill her I'm guessing.  Hey, my sister who's 5-3 120 at best went after a girl after I bought her a drink at a bar.  Then again my sister was probably right.  She was just using me for drinks.  As I was driving my mom and sister to a family party, my sister also proceeds to tell my mom about it on the ride.  At one point I was about to throw them both out.  My point is word will get back no matter what.  Just try to keep it on the DL as much as possible.

Now for the online thing, I tell a sibling of mine before a date and leave it at that.  Of course word will spread, but I'd rather it spread without me.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Damn, man, how much did you tell Mommy about Tiffanye?

And Mom probably wants to kill her I'm guessing.  Hey, my sister who's 5-3 120 at best went after a girl after I bought her a drink at a bar.  Then again my sister was probably right.  She was just using me for drinks.  As I was driving my mom and sister to a family party, my sister also proceeds to tell my mom about it on the ride.  At one point I was about to throw them both out.  My point is word will get back no matter what.  Just try to keep it on the DL as much as possible.

Now for the online thing, I tell a sibling of mine before a date and leave it at that.  Of course word will spread, but I'd rather it spread without me.

Mom isn't exactly thrilled with her at the moment, that's for sure.  Although, she isn't too happy with me either for "speed dating" Tiffanye and nearly giving my poor ole' mother a heart attack.  That's why she threatened me to take it SSSSSSSLLLLLLLOOOOOOOWWWWWWW, because she can't bear for her youngest son to be rejected in the same manner twice.

In all honesty, I haven't even thought about proposing, yet, save for the thought if things did progress that far, then later this fall might be more appropriate.  There are no plans in the works, save for date #2 Tuesday night and Valentine's Day in 3 weeks.

[Lunar]

In all honesty, I haven't even thought about proposing, yet,

That's good, considering you aren't even calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend yet.

Many, many, normal people, especially for us young folks, date for years without debating about proposing...to be with someone for a few years first minimizes the chance of divorce.  Quick marriages don't often end well sir.

[J-Mann]

I'm definitely thinking no earlier than October.  That gives us roughly 8 1/2 months to get to know each other better and make sure this is definitely what we want to do.  I want to make sure that we're sure that we're sure.  Our main focus right now is Valentine's Day 2010.  We've got a few options that we can do, and we still have two full weekends between now and then to think about it.  To be honest, while I am thinking of this fall, its not a major thought right now.  I just want to get to know her better right now and then if things develop between us, then we can head in that direction.  That's why I am saying no earlier than October to give us the entire Spring and Summer to just date without having any hardcore planning.

Jeff! Don't even think about thinking about proposing! Good grief, man ... there's no reason to put timelines on things like this. It only leads to letdowns. I'm just repeating what others have said, but your next date is your focus. Not Valentine's Day, not after Labor Day ... just the next time you see each other.

And be yourself -- no scripting the date beyond deciding on a place to go. Let her get to know you for you, and you get to know the real her. And girls who have never dated before may have really high expectations -- at this point, if any talk of "the future" comes out of her mouth (unless it's in reference to career goals), shut it down immediately.

[Joe Biden 2020]

In all honesty, I haven't even thought about proposing, yet,

That's good, considering you aren't even calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend yet.

Many, many, normal people, especially for us young folks, date for years without debating about proposing...to be with someone for a few years first minimizes the chance of divorce.  Quick marriages don't often end well sir.

Trust me, I learned my lesson with Tiffanye.

We're basically boyfriend/girlfriend, but not officially.  In fact, Saturday evening my Dad asked me "so, how's your girlfriend."  I chuckled and responded, but officially we are just friends who are dating.

My problem with Tiffanye started immediately.  We met on a Friday night, then I took her and her son out to dinner and then we were BF/GF that same night.  That was a bad omen.  My mother says that I was "in love with being in love" that I couldn't see or think clearly.  She started the initial rush, and I tried to resist, but then I lost my will to resist and the snowball started rolling down hill and then it got so big and so fast it ran me over just 7 weeks later.

So, based on the lesson with Tiffanye, I am not even calling Susan my girlfriend, just yet, even though that's basically what we are to the outside world.

[TeePee4Prez]

In all honesty, I haven't even thought about proposing, yet,

That's good, considering you aren't even calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend yet.

Many, many, normal people, especially for us young folks, date for years without debating about proposing...to be with someone for a few years first minimizes the chance of divorce.  Quick marriages don't often end well sir.

Trust me, I learned my lesson with Tiffanye.

We're basically boyfriend/girlfriend, but not officially.  In fact, Saturday evening my Dad asked me "so, how's your girlfriend."  I chuckled and responded, but officially we are just friends who are dating.

My problem with Tiffanye started immediately.  We met on a Friday night, then I took her and her son out to dinner and then we were BF/GF that same night.  That was a bad omen.  My mother says that I was "in love with being in love" that I couldn't see or think clearly.  She started the initial rush, and I tried to resist, but then I lost my will to resist and the snowball started rolling down hill and then it got so big and so fast it ran me over just 7 weeks later.

So, based on the lesson with Tiffanye, I am not even calling Susan my girlfriend, just yet, even though that's basically what we are to the outside world.

You and her are just dating if that.  No MySpace/Facebook updates.  It's just that.  Focus on date #2.  Not Valentines' Day.  Not October.  Not Christmas.  Just Date #2.

On that note, I'm back on match.com talking to 2 women right now so I'm kinda with you here.  One just initiated with me yesterday and I'm actually feeling her more than the other one, but I'll go for dates with both to see which one I'm feeling after meeting.  I am not even mentioning relationships or marriage with either of them.  Stay tuned...

[Lunar]

Marriage should just stay out of all thoughts of a relationship in the 1st year.  You shouldn't even be marveling about how you haven't thought about proposing yet.

[phk]

I've got another dinner with Susan this Tuesday night.

I don't care.

Than why are you here?

[Joe Biden 2020]

I'm definitely thinking no earlier than October.  That gives us roughly 8 1/2 months to get to know each other better and make sure this is definitely what we want to do.  I want to make sure that we're sure that we're sure.  Our main focus right now is Valentine's Day 2010.  We've got a few options that we can do, and we still have two full weekends between now and then to think about it.  To be honest, while I am thinking of this fall, its not a major thought right now.  I just want to get to know her better right now and then if things develop between us, then we can head in that direction.  That's why I am saying no earlier than October to give us the entire Spring and Summer to just date without having any hardcore planning.

Jeff! Don't even think about thinking about proposing! Good grief, man ... there's no reason to put timelines on things like this. It only leads to letdowns. I'm just repeating what others have said, but your next date is your focus. Not Valentine's Day, not after Labor Day ... just the next time you see each other.

And be yourself -- no scripting the date beyond deciding on a place to go. Let her get to know you for you, and you get to know the real her. And girls who have never dated before may have really high expectations -- at this point, if any talk of "the future" comes out of her mouth (unless it's in reference to career goals), shut it down immediately.

You have nothing to worry about.  I am not thinking of proposing and the October date is just hypothetical.  I'm going to let it happen as it happens.  We're still in the getting to know each other stage and will be there for quite a while, I'd imagine.  She said two things about the "future" last night, at different times, but both times I just chuckled and changed the subject right away.  She's a "rookie" at dating, so she might bring it up more, but I'm going to do my best to squash that kind of talk for a while.  I'll be honest, I can see I may have to slow her down just a bit.  Although, I wouldn't expect a "rookie" to have a great handle on timing when it comes to this sort of stuff.  I've been through two engagements in the past five years and I've learned a thing or two from both of them.  The first engagement wasn't an issue of speed, it was a career-path issue and the second engagement was clearly a speed issue.  I respect Susan way too much to even think about the "future" right now.  While it may cross my mind from time to time, I won't dwell on it and I definitely won't let it get me in trouble.  See, the thing is, I am a year away from being ordained as a Southern Baptist Pastor.  I do not want anything to derail that.  I told my mother that I have not lost sight of any of my goals I had made out and will still pursue the goals at the same intensity.  So, baby steps.

[TeePee4Prez]

Marriage should just stay out of all thoughts of a relationship in the 1st year.  You shouldn't even be marveling about how you haven't thought about proposing yet.

If you're closer to our age- 27/28 in BushOK's case, almost 30 in mine, the time frame can feasibly be shorter, but not the Tiffanye craziness.  I'd say if all goes REALLY well 4 months at the earliest, preferably at least 6 months.  My parents were only 3 months from meeting to engagement and they have a 30+ year marriage.

[Lunar]

Yeah but our parents were a different generation.

The AVERAGE age for marriage for guys, in the U.S., is about 28 years old, and that's not a statistic that adjusts particularly well to trends of marrying later.  If you meet someone when you're 27, marrying when you're 29 would be completely reasonable and place you well in the mainstream.    

[J-Mann]

Yeah but our parents were a different generation.

The AVERAGE age for marriage for guys, in the U.S., is about 28 years old, and that's not a statistic that adjusts particularly well to trends of marrying later.  If you meet someone when you're 27, marrying when you're 29 would be completely reasonable and place you well in the mainstream.    

It IS a very different culture in the Plains states, so if BushOK happens to feel any pressure to be married off by now, stewing over it is understandable, if not warranted. There are a lot of people in Kansas ... and in other surrounding states ... that are married in their very early-20s. On average, even the ones that wait until 27-28 to get married have been in a solid relationship for five years or so. It's awfully rare to find someone in their 30s that hasn't been married in the Great Plains.

So for guys like me and BushOK who are both in their late-20s and seem to have no definite prospects, there's a certain underlying pressure to "git 'r dun," so to speak. It's most likely in our heads, but when everyone around your age has been married for years and aunts constantly ask about "why you're not married yet" at family reunions, it gets a little grating.

It's perfectly reasonable if he feels like he has to move fast, but it's HIGHLY recommended that he doesn't act on those feelings. I got out of a "I HAVE to get married ASAP" funk a little over a year ago and realized that I don't have things all that bad. I keep everything I earn (or only pay my own bills) and I do what I want when I want. There are a lot of those poor suckers who rushed into it at 22 or 23-years-old who get lead around by their wives now.

If you haven't found the right one, it's not worth giving anyone else a try ... just wait and be happy in the meantime.

[TeePee4Prez]

Yeah but our parents were a different generation.

The AVERAGE age for marriage for guys, in the U.S., is about 28 years old, and that's not a statistic that adjusts particularly well to trends of marrying later.  If you meet someone when you're 27, marrying when you're 29 would be completely reasonable and place you well in the mainstream.    

It IS a very different culture in the Plains states, so if BushOK happens to feel any pressure to be married off by now, stewing over it is understandable, if not warranted. There are a lot of people in Kansas ... and in other surrounding states ... that are married in their very early-20s. On average, even the ones that wait until 27-28 to get married have been in a solid relationship for five years or so. It's awfully rare to find someone in their 30s that hasn't been married in the Great Plains.

So for guys like me and BushOK who are both in their late-20s and seem to have no definite prospects, there's a certain underlying pressure to "git 'r dun," so to speak. It's most likely in our heads, but when everyone around your age has been married for years and aunts constantly ask about "why you're not married yet" at family reunions, it gets a little grating.

It's perfectly reasonable if he feels like he has to move fast, but it's HIGHLY recommended that he doesn't act on those feelings. I got out of a "I HAVE to get married ASAP" funk a little over a year ago and realized that I don't have things all that bad. I keep everything I earn (or only pay my own bills) and I do what I want when I want. There are a lot of those poor suckers who rushed into it at 22 or 23-years-old who get lead around by their wives now.

If you haven't found the right one, it's not worth giving anyone else a try ... just wait and be happy in the meantime.

I feel a little bit of pressure even in my neck of the woods.  Most here late 20s-early 30s, BUT South Philly I notice it's a lot earlier.  I'm almost 30 and never had a steady relationship so I'm getting pressure there and a few of my peers are married.  Problem here is cost of living is much higher than the Great Plains and starting salaries of $40-50,000 don't cover sh**t.  I'm thinking that could be a factor in the delay.   

[Joe Biden 2020]

The reason I felt so much pressure, especially with Tiffanye, is she was 30 (now 31) years old and I didn't want her to be too old to safely have children.  This time its different, because Susan is 25 years old, so she still has plenty of time.  I know that's kind of a selfish reason, but that is the truth.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I feel yah. My family is already pressuring me into finding a mate, and I'm only 21.

As for me, I'm currently talking to this blond girl, which, hopefully, will end up better than things did with my ex-asian mistress. It's better that I didn't sleep with her first, as this is more of a traditional courting than anything else. I don't think I like her that much though, because she's more of a tomboy type that likes sports and such. I prefer the ditzy types.

[Joe Biden 2020]

The plan is to go out to a quick dinner Tuesday night.  I think I'm going to give her the option of a fast-food restaurant or a diner.  Either way, we'll have time to chat together and get ideas for our third date, which will probably be Friday night, but we'll cross that bridge in two nights.  I'll have to get home Tuesday night at a decent time as I need to take my car into the shop to get it looked at Wednesday morning and still get to work by 8:00 am.  It will just be Susan and me, not a double date, which will give us a chance to be alone.