Update Thread and Other Ramblings by BushOklahoma

[Joe Biden 2020]

Just thought I would let everyone here know that I have a Valentine!!  The Valentine is of the female gender!!  I'm going to be a whole lot more careful with this one, so I probably won't post about her a whole lot.  Her name is Susan, 25 years old, from good ole' Choctaw, Oklahoma.  She has no children, and never even has had a boyfriend before.  We're just starting out as friends and we're going to let the Lord lead it from there!!

[Joe Biden 2020]

So there was a chance of it being from the "male gender"?

Haha. Not a chance!!

[Joe Biden 2020]

No worries, Flyers!!  This is not going to be another episode of "speed dating", LOL!!  For one, she's never had a boyfriend before, so it will all be new to her.  Two, I learned my lesson with Tiffanye, "speed dating" doesn't work.  Being an Associate Pastor now, I have to really watch myself closely and really uphold the integrity of the Bible and the integrity of the Pulpit in our relationship.  I can't afford to be "careless" with this relationship as I was with Tiffanye, for it could not only cost me my relationship, but it could cause me to have my ordination revoked, something that would be very embarrasing.

This will be a great test for me and since we're just starting out as friends, not even technically BF/GF, we won't be tempted to go too fast.

We will be having our first double date either this Tuesday night or Friday night, depending on her and the other couple's schedule.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I'm going to see Susan either tomorrow, Friday, or Saturday night, and I'm really looking forward to it.  I'm waiting for our mutual friend who hooked us up to call me and let me know what day is best for her.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Is anyone else nervous that Jeff's date has never had a boyfriend? 

Considering the fact that such girls frequently have too high expectations, yes.

Be careful, Jeff, really careful.

If she's semi-attractive, I'd be VERY afraid.  She could be one of many things:

1. Psycho
2. REALLY picky

Or just not that attractive.

If she's 25 and semi-attractive, some guy has poked her unless she's REALLY Christian or closed off. 

As my Dad and I like to say, she's still on the showroom floor, if you know what I mean.  She has absolutely no baggage with her, no skeletons in her closet.  I'm not worried about this one, because we've been friends for the past two years, already, so that will make it easier to get to know each other well enough to proceed further.  Plus, the friend that put us together is not going to let anything bad happen to us to the best of her ability.  Plus, she's a lot more trustworthy than the friend that put Tiffanye and I together.  I knew I shouldn't have trusted that friend considering her past.  The friend that put Susan and I together has a squeaky clean past as does her husband.  This friend is also not going to let us go too fast!!

[Joe Biden 2020]

Here we go again.

I know.  I'd post that Captain Picard facepalm pic but it would upset Joe Republic too much.

Don't worry, this won't be anything like last time.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Here we go again.

I know.  I'd post that Captain Picard facepalm pic but it would upset Joe Republic too much.

Don't worry, this won't be anything like last time.

What was last time?

Dig through the Forum Community pages and find the thread entitled "Update", its only about 500 posts long or so.  It was way back in June 2009, so it may take you a few minutes to find the thread.  It was one of the epic threads of 2009.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I'll try and not hijack this thread. Hopefully you won't let it become inactive like last time, BushOK.

To steal a quote from the late Senator Edward Kennedy, "the [thread] will never die"!!

[Joe Biden 2020]

Double Date Night tonight!!  Stay tuned!!

[Joe Biden 2020]

The Double Date Night is in the books and can I just say, WOW!!!  Mexican food and games were the agenda for the evening, so nothing too fancy.  She told me tonight that she really enjoyed the entire evening and she wants to meet again one evening this week.  There was some talk of future plans, mostly by her, but don't you worry, there is no threat of a pre-Valentine's Day proposal this time.  The main talk of our future plans were focused on Valentine's Day here in 3 weeks.  She talked a little farther down the road, as well, so I may have to reel her in just a little bit, but we are going to go slow, though.

It was a great night all the way around!!

[Joe Biden 2020]

I've got another dinner with Susan this Tuesday night.

My mother pretty much threatened me within an inch of my life tonight to go S-L-O-W and be careful!!

[Joe Biden 2020]

The Double Date Night is in the books and can I just say, WOW!!!  Mexican food and games were the agenda for the evening, so nothing too fancy.  She told me tonight that she really enjoyed the entire evening and she wants to meet again one evening this week.  There was some talk of future plans, mostly by her, but don't you worry, there is no threat of a pre-Valentine's Day proposal this time.  The main talk of our future plans were focused on Valentine's Day here in 3 weeks.  She talked a little farther down the road, as well, so I may have to reel her in just a little bit, but we are going to go slow, though.

It was a great night all the way around!!

You better be thinking after Labor Day to even think of proposal man.  Your mother is right.  Put the brakes on this.  If you're the one doing it, you have the advantage and us men need it.  Do not give it to them or they will eat you for breakfast like Tiffanye (HAHAHA, Breakfast at Tiffanye's).

I'm definitely thinking no earlier than October.  That gives us roughly 8 1/2 months to get to know each other better and make sure this is definitely what we want to do.  I want to make sure that we're sure that we're sure.  Our main focus right now is Valentine's Day 2010.  We've got a few options that we can do, and we still have two full weekends between now and then to think about it.  To be honest, while I am thinking of this fall, its not a major thought right now.  I just want to get to know her better right now and then if things develop between us, then we can head in that direction.  That's why I am saying no earlier than October to give us the entire Spring and Summer to just date without having any hardcore planning.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Damn, man, how much did you tell Mommy about Tiffanye?

And Mom probably wants to kill her I'm guessing.  Hey, my sister who's 5-3 120 at best went after a girl after I bought her a drink at a bar.  Then again my sister was probably right.  She was just using me for drinks.  As I was driving my mom and sister to a family party, my sister also proceeds to tell my mom about it on the ride.  At one point I was about to throw them both out.  My point is word will get back no matter what.  Just try to keep it on the DL as much as possible.

Now for the online thing, I tell a sibling of mine before a date and leave it at that.  Of course word will spread, but I'd rather it spread without me.

Mom isn't exactly thrilled with her at the moment, that's for sure.  Although, she isn't too happy with me either for "speed dating" Tiffanye and nearly giving my poor ole' mother a heart attack.  That's why she threatened me to take it SSSSSSSLLLLLLLOOOOOOOWWWWWWW, because she can't bear for her youngest son to be rejected in the same manner twice.

In all honesty, I haven't even thought about proposing, yet, save for the thought if things did progress that far, then later this fall might be more appropriate.  There are no plans in the works, save for date #2 Tuesday night and Valentine's Day in 3 weeks.

[Joe Biden 2020]

In all honesty, I haven't even thought about proposing, yet,

That's good, considering you aren't even calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend yet.

Many, many, normal people, especially for us young folks, date for years without debating about proposing...to be with someone for a few years first minimizes the chance of divorce.  Quick marriages don't often end well sir.

Trust me, I learned my lesson with Tiffanye.

We're basically boyfriend/girlfriend, but not officially.  In fact, Saturday evening my Dad asked me "so, how's your girlfriend."  I chuckled and responded, but officially we are just friends who are dating.

My problem with Tiffanye started immediately.  We met on a Friday night, then I took her and her son out to dinner and then we were BF/GF that same night.  That was a bad omen.  My mother says that I was "in love with being in love" that I couldn't see or think clearly.  She started the initial rush, and I tried to resist, but then I lost my will to resist and the snowball started rolling down hill and then it got so big and so fast it ran me over just 7 weeks later.

So, based on the lesson with Tiffanye, I am not even calling Susan my girlfriend, just yet, even though that's basically what we are to the outside world.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I'm definitely thinking no earlier than October.  That gives us roughly 8 1/2 months to get to know each other better and make sure this is definitely what we want to do.  I want to make sure that we're sure that we're sure.  Our main focus right now is Valentine's Day 2010.  We've got a few options that we can do, and we still have two full weekends between now and then to think about it.  To be honest, while I am thinking of this fall, its not a major thought right now.  I just want to get to know her better right now and then if things develop between us, then we can head in that direction.  That's why I am saying no earlier than October to give us the entire Spring and Summer to just date without having any hardcore planning.

Jeff! Don't even think about thinking about proposing! Good grief, man ... there's no reason to put timelines on things like this. It only leads to letdowns. I'm just repeating what others have said, but your next date is your focus. Not Valentine's Day, not after Labor Day ... just the next time you see each other.

And be yourself -- no scripting the date beyond deciding on a place to go. Let her get to know you for you, and you get to know the real her. And girls who have never dated before may have really high expectations -- at this point, if any talk of "the future" comes out of her mouth (unless it's in reference to career goals), shut it down immediately.

You have nothing to worry about.  I am not thinking of proposing and the October date is just hypothetical.  I'm going to let it happen as it happens.  We're still in the getting to know each other stage and will be there for quite a while, I'd imagine.  She said two things about the "future" last night, at different times, but both times I just chuckled and changed the subject right away.  She's a "rookie" at dating, so she might bring it up more, but I'm going to do my best to squash that kind of talk for a while.  I'll be honest, I can see I may have to slow her down just a bit.  Although, I wouldn't expect a "rookie" to have a great handle on timing when it comes to this sort of stuff.  I've been through two engagements in the past five years and I've learned a thing or two from both of them.  The first engagement wasn't an issue of speed, it was a career-path issue and the second engagement was clearly a speed issue.  I respect Susan way too much to even think about the "future" right now.  While it may cross my mind from time to time, I won't dwell on it and I definitely won't let it get me in trouble.  See, the thing is, I am a year away from being ordained as a Southern Baptist Pastor.  I do not want anything to derail that.  I told my mother that I have not lost sight of any of my goals I had made out and will still pursue the goals at the same intensity.  So, baby steps.

[Joe Biden 2020]

The reason I felt so much pressure, especially with Tiffanye, is she was 30 (now 31) years old and I didn't want her to be too old to safely have children.  This time its different, because Susan is 25 years old, so she still has plenty of time.  I know that's kind of a selfish reason, but that is the truth.

[Joe Biden 2020]

The plan is to go out to a quick dinner Tuesday night.  I think I'm going to give her the option of a fast-food restaurant or a diner.  Either way, we'll have time to chat together and get ideas for our third date, which will probably be Friday night, but we'll cross that bridge in two nights.  I'll have to get home Tuesday night at a decent time as I need to take my car into the shop to get it looked at Wednesday morning and still get to work by 8:00 am.  It will just be Susan and me, not a double date, which will give us a chance to be alone.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Yeah, no fast food! Not even if she says that's what she wants!

Isn't there an Old Chicago or a Rock Bottom in Midwest City?

There is an Old Chicago, but we are going to IHOP, instead tomorrow night.  I called her this evening and gave her the choice, either IHOP or a local diner.  She chose IHOP.  I'm going to pick her up about 6:00 and should have her home by 10:00.  Unfortunately, it looks as if the weather is going to postpone the third date, which was supposed to be this Friday.

[Joe Biden 2020]

IHOP for a DATE?

I know its unconventional, but it will be good for a mid-week date.  Now, if this were a Friday night, then we'd probably go somewhere slightly better.  Another lesson I learned from Tiffanye is watch your own bank account.  I bought every single thing for Tiffanye and would not let her spend a single dime and, as a consequence, i saw my bank account dwindle down to uncomfortable levels.  I'm still trying to dig out from it, completely.  So, I will still buy most things for Susan, but if she offers to pitch in, I will let her, per the advice of my mother.  I may have to think of dates that doesn't involve money, save for gas.  I don't want to short change her in any way, but I also need to be able to pay my bills.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Like I said, IHOP is a good mid-week dinner.  The weather will probably keep us from meeting this weekend as we're supposed to get another ice storm in the same manner as the one we had in December 2007 when we had 3/4" of ice.  So, this may be our last date for at least a week, possibly 10 days, depending on how long the ice sticks around.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Good thing he's not taking any of you picky bastards out!

IHOP would not be my thing, but I get the feeling that BushOK and his date are going to be alright with it. And it is relaxed. There's no pressure to fix yourself up to go out to IHOP. If they're comfortable with it, then it's going to go just fine.

Actually, it's a pretty decent way to filter out dates ... don't blow a lot of money trying to impress them on dates where you barely know each other: let her get to know you, make sure she's going out with you for your personality and that you're not trying to overcompensate by falling into the typical first / second / third date traps. The best first dates are ones that don't feel forced in any way.

I prefer quirky places or holes-in-the-wall to somewhere like IHOP, but the general idea is the same.

And don't forget, BushOK -- it's not just about you trying to impress her (as most guys tend to think). She's got to impress you back. The last two women I dated couldn't pass the test, and I cut them loose after a couple of mediocre dates. Don't be afraid to do the same.

IHOP went over extremely well!!  It was a nice little date.  She told me she feels very comfortable around me, which is a really good sign.  I told her the same thing.  I think I'm making a good impression on her and I know she's making a really good impression on me.   I also think I'm making a good impression on her mother, which is almost asI important as the girl herself.  The date didn't last too long, just 3 1/2 hours, but it was really nice.  It looks like I may have to slow her down just a bit, but she's just anxious like any other girl.  We're definitely going to go slow, though.  She did give me a little peck on the cheek as I was leaving her house.

[Joe Biden 2020]

International House of Pancakes?

Of course, I've never been, but it doesn't sound too bad. It's not fancy or anything, but if you have a relaxed, fun attitude towards dating it sounds like it could be fun.

Obviously, they aren't exactly fine dining, but it's a very nice little chain.  I've been to IHOP in several states in different parts of the country, and it's hardly McDonalds.

I actually went to an IHOP post-prom with my prom date, on her suggestion.  We had a good time.  I suppose I have slightly more romantic views of IHOP than most Americans due to that experience, but it's hardly a dump by anyone's standards.  If BushOK keeps with his diet, he could have had an excellent salad...or he could have had chocolate chip pancakes.    Which was it?

I blew my diet tonight and had three eggs and pancakes, four slices bacon, and Dr. Pepper.

It may be a little tougher to lose weight now that I have a girlfriend.  But, I'm still going to try!!

[Joe Biden 2020]

I think you've got even more incentive to lose weight now! A good early date idea is to cook together ... find something that's semi-difficult to make and give it a shot. You learn a lot about each other in situations like that: whether she's a follower or leader, a planner or someone who dives into things, messy or clean or OCD ... it can be a fun activity.

That way you can keep your meals healthy for you, too!

That's a good idea.  She does fix meals for her mother and her grandmother, so I know she can cook.  I may have to have her fix me up a little dish of something and then teach me how to cook, too, so if we do end up tying the knot, I can help her in the kitchen or even cook her some meals.

[Joe Biden 2020]

so if we do end up tying the knot, I can help her in the kitchen or even cook her some meals.

may be getting ahead of yourself here again sir,

possibly, but even if we don't it would still help me have more kitchen-table dinners, not restaurant-table dinners.  It would really help on my weight, which I'll admit, I didn't do that good in January with only losing a total of four pounds.  Its not near where I would like.  Now, I'm down to a little over 9 1/2 months until my November 15th goal of reaching 185 pounds.  I'm still at 253.0.


That's a good idea, as well, Duke.  I don't want to potentially push any of the wrong buttons, but if I can get her to offer to cook, that would be even more special.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Only ironic celebrities and Oklahomans can get away with taking a date to IHOP.

Its food fare is crap. Other than that, if you are on a limited budget, it is OK for a date. Don't pretend to be what you are not. I would recommend however, after eating the pancake crap (bad for the diet, and its non breakfast food is almost non-digestible), I would suggest some activity with well, lower lights, even if it is making out in a car. JMO.

We're still quite a ways from that, yet.  She is comfortable with giving me a little peck on the cheek, which is fine, but neither of us are comfortable with advancing, yet.  The thing I'm going to have to get used to is she told me she's not a very affectionate person such as hand-holding and stuff like that.  She likes to hug, but as far as holding hands, she's not too keen on that.  It doesn't mean she doesn't love me, but that its just not her cup of tea.