So I have been invited to speak at a local Tea Bagger gathering.

[Scam of God]

Background: a few of my local 'libertarian' acquaintances who were so silent during the Bush II years have suddenly developed a severe case of the gonads and have decided that now is the time to protest. Knowing as they do my speaking abilities, they've invited me to deliver an address at their local convention (which one of them pegs at ~40 attendees).

Naturally, I can't let an opportunity like this pass, though that opportunity has been dated for "sometime in June". Which suits me fine for my purposes, as it'll give me ample opportunity to absolutely demolish the sad lot of them.

Here's a rough draft of a few elements of my speech (which is to be no more than ten minutes in duration. It's not the whole thing, but rather a few integral elements that wouldn't be complete without it --

You must be logged in to read this quote.

italics = emphasis

Wordy? Yes. Overly purple? almost certainly. Will I be able to finish it through the cascade of catcalls that will inevitably follow? Almost certainly not. That's almost the point of my doing this. And I'll be absolutely certain to get this on camera for your viewing pleasure.

[segwaystyle2012]

Don't leave your vest at home.

[phk]

You should tell them about JSojourner

[Scam of God]

Don't leave your vest at home.

Protip: I want them to do me bodily damage. And I've got the feeling at least a few of them would try.

[Associate Justice PiT]

     Why do I expect they'll bumrush the podium by the end of your second sentence?

[Scam of God]

    Why do I expect they'll bumrush the podium by the end of your second sentence?

Hahaha, I hope they do - this will be recorded for posterity. The less they want to hear me, the more cretinous they make themselves, the more they revert to their natural state of being, the more effective it will be in a broader sense. If they rush me, that's a thousand hits. If they shoot me, that's twenty million. I stroke my ego and serve society at the same time.

[phk]

    Why do I expect they'll bumrush the podium by the end of your second sentence?

Hahaha, I hope they do - this will be recorded for posterity. The less they want to hear me, the more cretinous they make themselves, the more they revert to their natural state of being, the more effective it will be in a broader sense. If they rush me, that's a thousand hits. If they shoot me, that's twenty million.

'

 Scam of God   03:22:30 am  Viewing the board Opinion of KeeptheChange

[patrick1]

Weren't you supposed to heckle somebody; the crazy Baptists, and now you are a grand speaker. Pics or it didn't happen.  

[Obnoxiously Slutty Girly Girl]

Why not try to find common ground with which to work with them rather than deliberately trying to alienate them and drive a wedge between you and them?

[Scam of God]

Weren't you supposed to heckle somebody the crazy Baptists and now you are a grand speaker. Pics or it didn't happen.   

The Westboro Baptist Church had long cleared out before we got there (we had to drive almost fifty miles, by which time they'd moved on to protest in St. Louis). Which is why I'm adamant that I will be there - I'm going to get e-famous and respected at the same time.

[Scam of God]

Why not try to find common ground with which to work with them rather than deliberately trying to alienate them and drive a wedge between you and them?

Because I consider them to be subhuman, and have no common ground whatsoever with them?

[Electric Feel]

Oh.

[Obnoxiously Slutty Girly Girl]

Why not try to find common ground with which to work with them rather than deliberately trying to alienate them and drive a wedge between you and them?

Because I consider them to be subhuman, and have no common ground whatsoever with them?

Sub-human? Because they are a different race from you?

[phk]

Why not try to find common ground with which to work with them rather than deliberately trying to alienate them and drive a wedge between you and them?

Because I consider them to be subhuman, and have no common ground whatsoever with them?

What do you consider JSojourner?

[Scam of God]

Why not try to find common ground with which to work with them rather than deliberately trying to alienate them and drive a wedge between you and them?

Because I consider them to be subhuman, and have no common ground whatsoever with them?

Sub-human? Because they are a different race from you?

Because they are objectively inferior; because they have internalized the values-system of the slave caste.

[Obnoxiously Slutty Girly Girl]

Why not try to find common ground with which to work with them rather than deliberately trying to alienate them and drive a wedge between you and them?

Because I consider them to be subhuman, and have no common ground whatsoever with them?

Sub-human? Because they are a different race from you?

Because they are objectively inferior; because they have internalized the values-system of the slave caste.

Aren't they at least somewhat 'libertarian' as you mentioned in the OP?

[Scam of God]

Not at all. They're Christian goons who put on whatever clothes suit them best for the political masquerade. That's my entire point, and that's what I'll demonstrate with this most epic of trolls.

[CultureKing]

Be careful, around here they have actually been arming themselves (as evidenced in a front page New York Times article on the Washington and Idaho Tea Party movement) and I wouldn't be surprised if a few brought guns to such a meeting.

[Scam of God]

Be careful, around here they have actually been arming themselves (as evidenced in a front page New York Times article on the Washington and Idaho Tea Party movement) and I wouldn't be surprised if a few brought guns to such a meeting.

I doubt they'll bring the heavy weaponry to an 'insular', policy-oriented meeting like I expect this to be. And even if they do, so much the better: as I said, my first intent is to get e-famous, and my secondary mission is to do so while taking the piss out of an entire organized body-politic.

[Joe Republic]

You should tell them about JSojourner

Scam of God   03:22:30 am  Viewing the board Opinion of KeeptheChange

What do you consider JSojourner?

Are you... alright?

[Associate Justice PiT]

     Why do I expect they'll bumrush the podium by the end of your second sentence?

Hahaha, I hope they do - this will be recorded for posterity. The less they want to hear me, the more cretinous they make themselves, the more they revert to their natural state of being, the more effective it will be in a broader sense. If they rush me, that's a thousand hits. If they shoot me, that's twenty million. I stroke my ego and serve society at the same time.

     Well I wish you the best of luck in this. What small vestiges of individualism exist in the public eye are rapidly being subsumed by the classical right, the guardians of tradition. The only hope for a true libertarian movement to emerge is to divorce violently & finally from the theoconservative elements of the body politic. Whether that is really possible remains to be seen, but to not try is to fail.

[Scam of God]

Be careful, around here they have actually been arming themselves (as evidenced in a front page New York Times article on the Washington and Idaho Tea Party movement) and I wouldn't be surprised if a few brought guns to such a meeting.

I doubt they'll bring the heavy weaponry to an 'insular', policy-oriented meeting like I expect this to be. And even if they do, so much the better: as I said, my first intent is to get e-famous, and my secondary mission is to do so while taking the piss out of an entire organized body-politic.

Delusions of grandeur?

Of course, except I'm competent to make them a reality.

[segwaystyle2012]

I'm a libertarian.

Einzige, please psychoanalyze me.

[Scam of God]

I'm a libertarian.

Einzige, please psychoanalyze me.

You're not egoistic enough to really understand.

[President Mitt]

Why not try to find common ground with which to work with them rather than deliberately trying to alienate them and drive a wedge between you and them?

Because I consider them to be subhuman, and have no common ground whatsoever with them?

Sub-human? Because they are a different race from you?

Because they are objectively inferior; because they have internalized the values-system of the slave caste.

Aren't they at least somewhat 'libertarian' as you mentioned in the OP?

Tea Partiers are not Libertarian, they support the hand of the government when it benefits other aspects of their anti-gay, anti-immigrant social agenda and neoconservative foreign policy.