Westman Timeline Pt. I

[Mechaman]

St. Patrick's Day 1985
CNN News:

In a momentous move today Governor Scott Westman of Montana has signed in the so-called "Liberalization Bill" after it was approved by 64% of the State House and 54% of the State Senate.  The Governor's signing of this bill, which would legislate the sell of state owned alcohol stores to private enterprisers around the state, would be hailed by many on St. Patrick's Day.  The votes necessary were tallied on the 13th, however the Governor decided to wait until the morning of the 17th to sign the bill.  This morning the Governor used the special occasion of St. Patrick's Day to announce his signature of the bill:

Videoclip starts playing:

Scott Westman is shown walking to a podium in front of the State Capitol wearing a green overcoat and a bowler cap.  He is flanked by his wife Caroline and his Lieutenant Governor Mendelik D'Israeli.  He approached the podium and begins talking:

I realize that I could've signed this bill a few days ago but I have chosen today because I believe this holiday represents something special in the hearts of millions the nation over.  Today, St. Patrick's Day 1985, will be celebrated with great cheer and song.  Great cheer that is made better with a little beer.  Decent songs that seem greater after a few decent drinks! (audience laughs)  I also chose today because I believe that this day, like a few others in the American calendar year, have become known for the great cheer that can come from drink.  The Peters Administration has attacked the alcohol industry too long as an industry that promotes self destruction, WITHOUT KNOWING THE PRIDE THAT MANY GROUPS OF PEOPLE, LIKE MONTANANS ON ST. PATRICK'S DAY, HAVE IN THEIR HARD BEVERAGES!  On this day I am proud to be the Governor who has made alcohol liberalization a reality, to be the Governor to finally end the state monopoly on a beverage that is best enjoyed, consumed, produced, and sold by the citizens of this state.  Thank you and have a great St. Patrick's Day.

Many critics of Westman would point to his signing of the Liberalization Bill on St. Patrick's Day to be "blatant pandering" to Irish Americans and Catholics in the state of Montana.  Some would even bemoan the speech for "being reminiscent of the very worst of his Tammany Hall hack of a grandfather in blatant appeals to the Irishman's fear of Republican Know Nothing nativism and Prohibition".  Supporters of Westman said that with the bill coming into completion that signing the bill on a holiday that benefitted the alcohol industry was "common sense" and that "considering that Irish Americans and Catholics were the most pro-Westman voting groups in the Gubernatorial Race the idea that he needs to pander to them for support is ridiculous.  This move isn't to gain any more support, it's to send a message about the positive aspects the alcohol industry brings to our lives that didn't get out in the moral legislative agenda of the Peters Administration."

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Cause that's what church holidays are all about! regardless, I'd probably vote for it.

[Mechaman]

March 30th, 1985
Governor's Mansion:

Governor Scott Westman is in the Study with his Lieutenant Governor and new best friend Mendelik D'Israeli.
D'Israeli: I've got to hand it to you Scott.  You are so far a pretty damn good Governor.  Already you have got wage increases for state workers and alcohol liberalization passed.  At this rate we might just have our legalization bill passed by the end of April!
Westman: Nah I wouldn't count on it.  You would be surprised how overly cautious a lot of House and Senate members are about that sort of thing.  A lot of them don't want to shake up the old folks brigade about it seems.  I think we should put it off a bit longer, you know make it a long term goal or something.  Because the parties seem to be split about it.  We need to find a coalition of Democrats and Republicans to build up support for legalization.
D'Israeli: Yeah, I forgot about the moralf****t tendencies of the Montana Legislature now days.
Westman: True that.  However, it seems that the hardcore opposition is like 40% of the legislature, mostly religious Democrats and a few conservative and "moderate" Republicans.  I figure if I can get the more socially libertarian Democrats on my side you can gather your fellow Republitarians and we can open up a substantial debate on the floor.  I figure that would be like 25% or 30% of the legislature.  That means we woud have to convince the other 30-35% who are undecided to get on board.  I would put a target date of late October to early November for this.  This isn't some easy thing like state wages or alcohol, this is still a fairly controversial subject.  We need all the time in the world.
D'Israeli: Tell me about it.
Westman: Hell, if we accomplish this in one gubernatorial term I will feel like the most successful governor in history.

[Mechaman]

Cause that's what church holidays are all about! regardless, I'd probably vote for it.

Of course.
After all Jesus Christ did turn water into wine, at least according to the Bible.

[Mechaman]

UPDATE:

Change of plans, thus the delete.

[Mechaman]

State of Montana Demographics
Circa 1985:

Race:

Non-Hispanic White: 81.5%
Non-Hispanic Black or African American: 0.7%
Non-Hispanic American Indian and Alaska Native: 9.0%
Non-Hispanic Asian: 1.5%
Non-Hispanic Native Hawaiian and Other Pacific Islander: 0.1%
Some Other Race (non-Hispanic) 0.1%
Two or more races (non-Hispanic) 4.2%
Hispanic Origin: 2.9%

In recent decades the once extremely white state of Montana has become more racially diverse.  Many would credit the Native American Civil Rights Movement of the 1950's, which took place mostly in the Plains States and the Rocky Mountain West, for the population explosion of Native Americans in Montana.  The pro-Civil Rights agenda of Democratic Governor Brendan R. McGuinness (1953-1961), which included Affirmative Action programs for minority workers and tax credits and college discounts for Native American families and youths, is credited with the large Native American population explosion in the state in the 1950's and 1960's.  There would also be increased Asian immigration into the state, mainly from the West Coast, due to the large amounts of professional job opportunities created by the infant Technology Industry in Montana.  Liberal immigration policies with Mexico would naturally see a significant increase in Hispanic immigration, though not as large as those seen in Colorado, New Mexico, Texas, and Arizona.  What is of significant note, however, is the amount of people who identify as more than one race in Montana.  With a mixed population of 4.2%, Montana would have the third largest proportion of citizens identifying as "mixed" in the United States (behind Washington with 4.5% and Hawaii with 21.8%).  Many cultural experts would credit the "culture of individuality" that existed in Montana for the high mixed race population.  This population includes current Governor Scott Westman, who is of European (English, Irish, and Italian) and Asian (Chinese) ancestry, and Lieutenant Governor Mendelik D'Israeli, who is of European (English, German, and Italian Jewish) and Hispanic (Mexican) ancestry.

Largest Self-Reported Ancestral Groups:

German: 27.3%
Irish: 21.5%
English: 10.2%
Norwegian: 10%
American Indian:: 9.0%
Italian: 6.1%

In the post World War II era Montana would experience a large population boom with many of the new immigrants coming from Northeastern states like New York, New Jersey, and Massachusetts.  A lot of this immigration came from Irish and Italian Catholics, who left for new jobs out west.  Many of these immigrants would settle in the urban areas of western Montana, namely Butte, Great Falls, and Missoula.  The population of such areas would be of such that many demographic experts have referred to the area encompassing the three areas the "Catholic Triangle" of Montana.  Montana would be the most proportionately Irish American state outside of the Northeast (fifth overall).  Montana would also have the third largest population percentage of American Indians, behind New Mexico and Alaska.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

In all irony, one of the most popular Presidents is re-elected with less of the popular vote than the first election (though that was on the third round and in a two-way race).

[Mechaman]

April 1st, 1985
State Wide Video Address by Governor Scott Westman and Lieutenant Governor Mendelik D'Israeli:

The video feed cuts to Westman behind the Gubernatorial desk and D'Israeli sitting in a nearby chair.
Westman: My fellow citizens, it brings me great honor to announce that we have sold the state of Montana, and everybody within it, to the Canadian Government!
D'Israeli: The sale of Montana was highly approved by members of all three parties in both houses of the legislature.  They all came in at 2 O'Clock this morning to vote on it.
Westman: As a result me and Mendelik were told to quit our jobs........or be denied our retirement benefits and pensions which amounted to 10 million Canadian Dollars.
D'Israeli: After going into our secret fortress and discussing the idea with our advisors.........and our wives, we came to the conclusion to take the money and get the hell out of here.  By the way this is a taped recording.
Westman: Also, our wives have already taken some of the fine china ware from the mansion as well as Governor Schumacher's priceless vase and Chateau LaFlomage Wine collection.  We unfortunately didn't have the cash on us to pay the state government so we'll just borrow your tax dollars instead to pay for it.  I hope you are all understanding and patience in this ordeal.  In other news.......APRIL FOOLS MONTANA!!!!  Haha! Did you see the look on their faces!?
D'Israeli: Actually I didn't, because we are looking into a camera and not at the faces of actual people.
Westman: Thanks Captain Obvious!

This would be the first time that a Governor of a state would publicly recognize April Fools Day.  Many would praise the Governor and Lieutenant Governor for going out of their way to make a special video message for such an important day.  Critics would choose to bash Westman for his "lack of taste" and his audacity to make light of the "governing process".

[Mechaman]

August 6th, 1972
Missoula, Montana
Westman Apartment

Scott Westman is resting on the couch with his sister Nora.  Across the room is some Maine dude named Ronnie who has come to score some dope.
Westman: So, do we have a deal?
Ronnie: Why so much?
Westman: Motherf***er!  What'd you expect to pay f***ing dimebag price for this sh*t?
Nora slips her hand into Westman's, supposedly to calm him.  She reaches forward to the table in front of them and gets a swab off some white substance and puts it on Westman's tongue.  She then takes the same swab and puts a bit in her mouth.  After the hit comes to her brain she posits herself on Westman's lap as he wraps his arms around her.
Okay, this is a little creepy.  I thought these two were related.
Ronnie: Do you two need some alone time?
Nora looks over at him.
Nora: No not really.....just getting...COMFORTABLE.
Ronnie: Yeah you two look real comfortable........for siblings.
Westman snorts.
Westman: I'll hold my sister any way I please moralf****t.  If you got a problem with it then get the f*** out of here.  I am here to deal, not deal with some politically correct asswipe who can't keep out of other peoples' business.
Nora nuzzles her face into the side of Westman's neck and kisses him.
Damn, these are the two most affectionate hippie siblings I've met.  They seem to take the phrase "free love" to a whole new level.  ANd what's a "moralf****t" anyway?
Ronnie: No need to get nasty man.  It's cool if you two love each other that way.  I'm not judgmenta-
Nora: Has anyone told you that you talk too much?
Ronnie: Umm yeah?
Nora: Maybe if you have a thought it's best to be quiet once in awhile?
Ronnie: Right.
Westman: So do you want this sh*t or not hotshot?
Ronnie bites his lip.
Ronnie: Damn it, alright.  Here you go.
He hands Westman a fifty dollar bill who stuffs it into Nora's pocket.  She giggles.
F***in' hippie freaks.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

By the way, I somehow stumbled across "Over the Hills and Far Away: The Story of Fred Harris" at one point, and I gotta say, are you obsessed with college professors dating much younger students or something?

[Mechaman]

By the way, I somehow stumbled across "Over the Hills and Far Away: The Story of Fred Harris" at one point, and I gotta say, are you obsessed with college professors dating much younger students or something?

Yeah pretty much.

There is nothing that gets me off like college professors boffing young 20 year old coeds (hehe).

Not really.  I just overdo those kinds of relationships to piss off the "Half Plus Seven" fans like BRTD.

[Mechaman]

June 8th, 1985
Helena, Montana
Governor's Office

Westman: Hahaha!  Yeah I know it's a real kicker isn't it?  It just pisses me off all the people promoting this "lite beer" crapola.  You know what I'm saying Bob?
(indistinct voice on other end)
Westman: So how are things going in Congress?  Oh right......still putting up with assholes like Chafee and Warner?
(indistinct voice)
Westman: Yeah thank god for that too.  The last thing we need is a statist Rockefeller in office.  If it were up to me all of those Northeast Assholes would be out of office and future Northeast Assholes would be banned from running for Congress.
(loud laughter at other end and cheery indistinct voice)
Westman: Well it was nice catching up to you Bob.  Say hi to Sallie for me.  Goodbye!
Westman puts down the phone as Mendelik D'Israeli, his Lieutenant Governor and right hand man, walks in.
D'Israeli: Another one of your college buddies?
Westman: No, it was Bob Dornan.
D'Israeli raises an eyebrow.
D'Israeli: Really?  What did he want?
Westman: Oh uh he was just talking about the good ole days.  You know in Washington right now it's happy hour.  He managed to remember this phone number in his buzz and he called.  He's actually a pretty cool guy, even if his politics are ugly.
D'Israeli: At least he's not Christian Mattingly.
Westman: Oh come on man Christian isn't that bad.
D'Israeli: You're actually defending him!  The guy who decided he hated your guts because you railed a tranny?
Westman: Well I mean come on man he's a good guy.  I mean my grandfather thought he was a good enough kid to invest millions of dollars in.
D'Israeli: Your grandfather also was staunchly anti-abortion and was divided on whether or not to legalize sodomy.  I mean I don't mean to talk ill about your grandfather Scott but he grew up in a much simpler time than you and I did.
Westman: I'm just saying that Mattingly is a strong willed individual, something I respect.  He could go far in this world, especially if the Conservative brand name stays strong throughout the rest of the decade.  I could see him running for Congress or state wide office.  I mean he is the right kind of conservative for Michigan: protectionist, pro-business growth, socially conservative, and for lower taxation.  He could go really far.
D'Israeli: So have you heard the latest on the tax debate?
Westman chuckles.
Westman: Let me guess the Republicans are still stonewalling any debate on our plans to do away with the Sales Tax?
D'Israeli: That's right.  They insist that if we are to be serious about getting rid of the Sales Tax and implementing a Graduated State Income Tax that we revise our figures or, preferably, go with a flat state income tax.
Westman: Who the hell do they think they are!?  Fine, I'll meet with the opposition three days from now in a televised meeting where we shall come up with a real compromise on this issue.  I know how much they will budge now, let's see how they enjoy playing hardball on state wide tv.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

couple reasons to smile...
-It's back
-My guy got mentioned!

[Mechaman]

Might as well make a Crane Cabinet (better now than never I guess):

The Crane Cabinet (May 1984)

President: Philip Crane (Independent-Illinois)
Vice President: Ray Hutchison (Republican-Texas)
Secretary of State: Robert Finch (Republican-California)
Secretary of Treasury: James T. O'Doyle (Independent-Pennsylvania)*
Secretary of Defense: William Buckley, Jr. (Conservative-New York)
Attorney General: John D. "Jay" Rockefeller IV (Republican-West Virginia)
Secretary of Interior: Ben Nighthorse Campbell (Democratic-Colorado)
Secretary of Agriculture: Gregory T. Helms (Republican-Nebraska) (no relationship to Jesse Helms)
Secretary of Commerce: James A. Rhodes (Republican-Ohio)
Secretary of Labor: Coretta Scott King (Republican-Georgia)
Secretary of the PHS (Public Healthcare System, established in 1974): Paul Tsongas (Democratic-Massachusetts)
Secretary of Urban Planning (equivalent of HUD): William H. Taft III (Republican-Ohio)
Secretary of Infrastructure (equivalent to transportation): James L. Buckley (Conservative-New York)
Secretary of Conservation (equivalent to energy): Michael J. Sullivan (Democratic-Idaho)
Secretary of Veterans Affairs: Alfred C. Giordino (Concern Families-New Jersey)
Chief of Staff: Edward R. Madigan (Republican-Illinois)
Director of the Budget Office: Anthony R. Goldberg (Independent-Maine)*
Administrator of the Agency of Conservation (AOC): Kathleen R. Jayne (Independent-Georgia)*
Trade Representative: Thomas E. Hayden (Democratic-California)
UN Ambassador: James Hood (Republican-Alabama)
Chairperson of the CEA: Vladimir Ryan Kowalski (Republican-Wisconsin)*

*Fictional Character

A pretty diverse group, even some Democrats (though most of them seem to be sympathetic to neo-liberalism)

Bump.  For convenience.

[Mechaman]

Detroit, Michigan
February 8th, 1985:

United States President Philip Crane is standing in front of a crowd of several thousand at the Ford Field in Detroit, Michigan.  On the stage with him are Defense Secretary William Buckley, Jr., Attorney General John D. "Jay" Rockefeller, Former Secretary of Veterans Affairs Alfred C. Giordino and Michigan Automotive founder Christian Mattingly.  President Crane addresses the crowd:

Today I address you people not as your President, or even your fellow American, but as a fellow Midwesterner.  A man who knows the values and beliefs that the people of this region, a people who put some of the greatest pride in the rewards of hard work.  There are very few American characters that exhibit the very best of hard work, diligence, perseverance, and respect as the Michigan autoworker does.
(applause from audience)
That is why it gives me great privilege today to be here, even in the cold harsh winter of Detroit to make this vital announcement.  The announcement of our next Secretary of Veterans Affairs.  As you all know Alfred C. Giordino, a man who has served this nation very well in every American conflict since World War II, a former Five Star General, and one of the most decorated soldiers in American History, announced his retirement last month.  One of my greatest honors as US President has been working alongside this great American for the past four years.
(applause from audience)
Today it gives me great honor to announce in this city, this city of many hardworking Americans and many of our proud sons, fathers, mothers, and daughters who have fought and died for this country, Secretary Giordino's personal pick for the man to succeed him.  He has talked many hours about the patriotism, the work ethic, and love for the veterans of our armed forces this man has.  After reviewing all other candidates me and the cabinet fully agree with the general's view on this matter and believe this individual to be the best most logical choice for this office.  It is with great honor and respect that I announce the pick of one of Michigan's favorite sons to the position of Secretary of Veteran Affairs.  Ladies and Gentlemen, CHRISTIAN STEVENS MATTINGLY!!!

Christian Mattingly takes the podium to loud applause.
It is with great honor that I humbly take this office at the behest of Philip Crane.  He is truly one of the greats in the annals of US Presidents.  That is something that I, a true student of history, don't say easily.  Over the past four years this President, more than quite a few others in his position, has done more to booster our image as a world superpower in this post Cold War Era than any other President.  It is my duty as a proud American, and as a proud supporter of Philip Crane and his agenda of a better world best suited by the message of American democracy, to accept this position.  It is also with great honor that I share this stage with William Buckley, a man that I have had much admiration for since my days fighting the good fight in Persia.  He is one of my greatest influences, and for good reason.  If America had listened to this man for the past few decades this world would be much better off.
I promise as your Secretary of Veterans Affair to do my best to represent the best possible needs of American veterans and their families.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

[Mechaman]

June 11th, 1985
Helena State Capitol
Congressional Conference Room:

Montana Governor Scott Westman and Lieutenant Governor Mendelik D'Israeli sat on one side of the table.  On the other was Montana Republican State Senator George S. Tathers and Conservative House Representative Michel J. Tiernan.
Westman: Gentlemen, we've debated this way too long.  I have a decent compromise on this whole issue outlined in this dossier.  I will acede to your demands for a lowered rate on the top income brackets for the graduated state income tax.
Tiernan: That isn't good enough and you know it.  Either you acede to a flat rate or we will refuse to budge on the issue.
Westman: A flat income tax?  Really dude?  Do you understand that 5.2% means different things to a rich person and a poor person?
Tathers: Governor, you're lucky we're even agreeing to go through with your radical non-sense about abolishing the state Sales Tax.
Westman: You guys are against reducing taxation unless it affects the taxes you best benefit from.  Typical.
Tathers: Look, I'm no fan of the Sales Tax but it has worked in the past.  We haven't had a budget shortfall in decades!
Westman: Of course, thanks to Republican Governors raiding the fiscal reserve.  Or as the politically astute call it "the rainy day fund".
Tiernan: This isn't a time to play politics and you know it.  Me and others have in the past voiced enthusiasm for your work in reducing state expenditures and keeping a tight fiscal ship.  However, we have to keep general welfare in mind here.
Westman: Right, so abolishing Sales Tax so people don't have to fork over more than they have to purchase necessary items for their daily lives obviously has a negative effect on welfare.  Right.
Tathers: And introducing this income tax won't?
Westman: Gentlemen, take a look at this graph.  This is the amount of property taxes the average Montanan pays.  See this?  THIS IS RIDAMNDICULOUS!!!  PROPERTY TAXES SHOULDN'T BE THAT HIGH!  The introduction of an Income Tax, while it isn't pretty while the idea of it sounds unpopular, would be an easier and more efficient way to raise state revenues.  Now, my commission has determined that it would be possible to make up for the revenue shortfall with a tax bracket ranging from .4% for the lowest applicable income tax brackets to 5.4% for the highest.  The tax burden on the poorest of Montanans would be almost non-existent while the upper income brackets wouldn't be overwhelmed by income taxation.  It's a win-win!  Now we can continue on with this back and forth with no end in sight, or we can finally put this through committee.  I believe that the changes proposed herewith are more than reasonable.

[Mechaman]

Gershowitz Shooting Range
Helena, Montana
June 14th, 1985:

Governor Scott Westman walks up to the booth in front of the gun range.  The gun range operator, redheaded beauty Shannon K. Gershowitz, addresses him.
Gershowitz: Good afternoon Scott.  State business getting you stressed?
Westman laughs.
Westman: Oh yeah you bet.
Gershowitz: So when are we going to have that great gun bill you always talkin' about?  You know the one about lever rifles and sh*t like that?
Westman: Honey, I'm busting my ass off just trying to get tax reform done.  Once that is over with I will handle the gun issue.  Trust me, I more than anybody love shooting off lever action rifles, but tax matters come first.
Gershowitz: Horsesh*t!
Westman: Hey, would you have preferred having that gun grabbing fool Peters still in office?
Gershowitz: Only reason I voted for you was because you were better lookin' than that Conservative fella.
Westman hands her $5.
Westman: As much as I appreciate the compliment you're just too damn old for me Shannon.
Gershowitz: Bullsh*t, I'm 38 years old!  You got two years on me pardner!
Westman: Exactly, you're too old for me.
Gershowitz: Well if you get too bored with your pre-schooler little wife you know where I live, Governor.
The sexually charged banter was pretty normal between Westman and Shannon Gershowitz.  The sexual tension between the two could be cut not with a knife, but with the edge of a fork.  Occasionally both of them would day dream about a nice afternoon tryst with the other during slow business hours.
Westman takes out his .44 and heads to the range.  Like always the range was very busy.  Montana had the highest rates of gun ownership in the nation.  Going to the average shooting range in the Big Sky State proved that statistic more than accurate.  As a result many shooting range owners in Montana offered the cheapest prices for shooting in the nation at an average of $3.05 to enter a shooting range.  That national average was $5.15.  Everybody from lawyers to cattlemen to businessmen to hippie radicals and even politicians like Scott Westman went to the shooting range on average 3-4 times a week.  The cost at the Gershowitz Range was $3.25, but Westman handed extra for the back and forth banter with Shannon.
Westman takes position in front of a target fifteen yards away.  He empties his chamber into the target, getting all but one shot into it.  He reloads his gun when he feels a tap on his shoulder.  He turns around and sees Helena businessman Harvey L. Johnson.
Westman: Hey Harvey!  How's it going?
Johnson: Oh you know, cattle futures.  Anyway, if you have a moment I would like to discuss a proposal that me and other members of the Montana Chamber of Commerce have come up with in regards to the "Green Montana" project you campaigned on.
Westman: Okay, just mail the office a copy of the it and then I will see what we can do.  Shannon has already promised me a quickie if I get the jump on the gun issue so it might have to wait.
Johnson laughs.
Johnson: The tension between you to is like a thread of yarn man!  You could cut it with the dull edge of a fork!
Westman laughs.
Westman goes back to his target and unloads another round.  This time all six rounds managed to hit the target.  Admittedly Westman wasn't the best of shooters, but he was able to on most days at least not miss any part of the target.  So far his record had been two shots in the bullseye, three in the immediate circle surrounding it, and one on the third circle.  Again, he wasn't Dirty Harry but for a guy who presided over the fourth biggest state in the Union he was pretty good.  Just as he is chambering another round a messenger from his office appears.
Messenger: Sir, D'Israeli sent me to tell you to return to the office.
Westman raises his eyebrow.
Westman: What in the hell for?
Messenger: Well it's about the tax issue.
Westman rolls eyes.
Westman: Jaysus.  They still don't like our ideas?
Messenger shrugs his shoulders.
Westman: Alright fine, I'll go back in thirty minutes.
Messenger: But sir......
Westman hands him a ten dollar bill.
Westman: Here's your tip.  Don't spend it all in one place.
The messenger, getting the message, nodded.
Messenger: Thank you sir!
Scott Westman's predilection towards tipping messengers and other professionals set him apart from other politicians.  Many found this trait peculiar of the Mountain West Governor, who was well known for his vulgar and blunt speech and in your face larger than life persona.
Scott Westman turns towards the target and aims down the sight once more.
Westman: Should've gone to DisneyLand.

[Mechaman]

June 14th, 1985 Cont.

Scott Westman made it back to the Governor's Office to find D'Israeli with a sheet of paper.  He went over to take a look at it.
Westman: My God......

On the sheet Westman saw:

Montana Tax Reform Bill H1814

House of Representatives
Democratic Party:
Ayes: 35
Nays: 18
Not Voting: 2

Republican Party:
Ayes: 15
Nays: 19
Not Voting: 1

Conservative Party:
Ayes: 2
Nays: 8

D'Israeli: You think that's shocking, read the Senate numbers:

State Senate:
Democratic Party:
Ayes: 14
Nays: 10
Not Voting: 2

Republican Party:
Ayes: 12
Nays: 8

Conservative Party:
Ayes: 0
Nays: 4

D'Israeli: It's official, we are one of the most damned bipartisan administrations in history.
Westman: Jesus, that's kind of scary.  A libertarian Democrat/Republican Executive being the most bipartisan administration in decades.
D'Israeli: Believe it man, this is a revolution.

[Mechaman]

June 16th, 1985
Governor's Mansion:

Scott Westman is in the study room with Shannon Gershowitz.
Gershowitz: I must say this is a really nice house Gubner.
Westman: It's really nice of you to come by Shannon.  Listen something's come up and I'm afraid the gun bill is going to have to wait a month or so-
Gershowitz: Really!?  Is this how you treat all of your constituencies!?  YOu sidin' with them apesh*t statists from out east!?
Westman: No it's just this really genius idea my Lieutenant Governor had he just-
Gershowitz gets out of her chair and walks over to Westman and straddles him.  She unbuttons a couple of buttons on his flannel shirt.
Gershowitz: (purrs) I'm sure there is some kind of arrangement we could make, governor.  I think we both know what you want, because frankly I want it too.  I've wanted it since I laid eyes on you in '82.  Now maybe if you put your priorities first over those of your nerdy little weed smoking Lieutenant Governor you could go places.
Westman: I won't lie, this feels really good.
Gershowitz: Well, we wouldn't want you to feel bad would we, Scotty?
She reaches inside his flannel shirt and starts rubbing his chest.
Gershowitz: Is your wife home?
DON'T GIVE IN DAMN IT!  DON'T GIVE IN!!!!!!!!
Westman: She's gone on vacation.
Gershowitz: Good.
Don't give in man, it's not worth it.......

The Very Next Day:
On Television
Westman: I would like to make a recommendation before this State Legislature to put forward a gun liberalization bill that would undo all the the damage to our precious Second Amendment Rights by the previous administration.  I believe that we have gone for far too long without addressing this issue-
Gershowitz: That a boy.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Why does your writing always have to put my head in the wrong place? (not that it isn't permanently lodged in the gutter to begin with...)

[Mechaman]

Why does your writing always have to put my head in the wrong place? (not that it isn't permanently lodged in the gutter to begin with...)

Because I'm writing about a fictional politician?  And a madman?

[Mechaman]

The Ides of March MCMLXXXV
Kansas City, Missouri:

Michael A. Cork, the leader of the Foxhound Mob, was walking out of the Irish American Heritage Museum when he spotted his best friend, Francis A. Moneghallen, whistling for him.
Moneghallen: Hey Mikey!  Over here Mikey!
Cork follows his friend down an alley.  His best friend since he was a baby.  The two were closer than brothers.
As Cork walks down the alley Moneghallen whistles yet again.  Then out of nowhere the doors open and dozens of men rush came out with Uzis and 9mms.  Cork looked around as the guns started to fire from all directions.  As he danced to the noise and impact of the bullets going in and out of his body he fell to the ground.  Suddenly the gunfire stopped and he looked up.....into the eyes of his best friend Francis Moneghallen.
Cork: Eh tu Frank?
And then in the timespan of a gunshot, it was over.

CNN News later that night:

Anchor: Today in Kansas City one of the nation's most powerful underground crime bosses was brutally murdered in what appeared to be a gangland style execution.  Police official speculate that it was a coordinated event orchestrated by an "umbrella" crime syndicate that involves dozens of this nation's most powerful Irish mob bosses and maybe even some of the Democratic urban machines.  This latest outburst of mob violence has been denounced by Attorney General Jay Rockefeller, who has promised that the US Department of Justice will use "any means necessary to put the death knell to organized crime in our urban areas."  Even Secretary of Defense William Buckley has pledged that in the case of a "war against crime" he would support the use of American servicemen to bring down the organized crime elements so prevalent in the city's urban areas:

Buckley: Enough is enough!  I've had it with these damned barbaric hordes of criminals running our urban areas!  I promise Americans that me and Secretary Rockefeller will do our utmost to not only stop these criminal scum from running our cities, WE WILL END THEM.

Even more controversially is the possible involvement of Democratic political machines bosses in a possible umbrella criminal syndicate that many law enforcement officials, namely former FBI head Salivo S. Constanza, have talked about running the nation's urban areas.  There is also further speculation that Michael Cork wasn't executed in a power grab, but because he was about to release vital information regarding future plans of these criminal empires.

[Mechaman]

March 16th, 1985

President Philip Crane Declares "War on Crime"

[Mechaman]

June 18th, 1985
Montana Governor's Mansion

John Kennedy, Jr. So Scott, what do you think of this "War on Crime"?
Westman: Personally?  I think it's a bunch of hyperbole really.  Cork was just some ugly unlucky bastard who got wasted in a nasty powerplay.  It's nothing more than the media, and the President, trying to imply something nefarious to raise morale amongst the law and order types.
Kennedy: But surely you are disturbed by the wave of organized crime in this country?
Westman: Oi yeah, it does disturb me a little yes.  But over here it's a lot more limited in scope.  Murder and rape rates are non-existent here compared to say Illinois or New York-
Kennedy: But abunch of madmen running the major metropolitan areas?  DO you have any idea how bad that'll make us look?  How quick reactionaries will be yelling HIBERN-
Westman: Yes, and so what?  That got old in the early 1900's.  How gives a f*** now?