Westman Timeline Pt. I

[Mechaman]

Political Analysis Poll:

Chances of Montana Democratic Party losing control of House: 51%
Chances of Montana Democratic Party losing control of Senate: 82%

Scott Westman favorables after "LauraHall":

Approve: 34%
Disapprove: 61%
Not Sure:5%

[Mechaman]

"SilverHall"

Refers to an incident in May 1958 in which then Texas US Senator Lyndon Johnson was caught making deals with the infamous Austin based Flanagan Mob.  The incident occurred at a SilverHall Luxury Hotel in downtown Austin.  Lyndon Johnson, who many thought would make a run for President in 1960, would be set to serve a 5 year jail sentence in exchange for information that could lead to the capture of the infamous Flan "Iron Man" Flanagan.  However, his prison tenure wouldn't last.
A thorough investigation would later reveal that Flanagan had half of the Austin PD on his payroll, including the Chief of Police and two captains.  Once word got out that Lyndon Johnson might reveal info on Flanagan, Flanagan immediately ordered a hit on Lyndon Johnson.  Before Johnson's arraignment a gunman would shoot him down on his way to the court.  This would make Lyndon Johnson the second US Senator (since he hadn't been removed by office by that time) assassinated since the passage of the 17th Amendment to the US Constitution.
The incident, both infamous for Johnson's large kickbacks (it is estimated that the mob paid the Senator as much as $800,000 to keep quiet about illegal activities in Austin, Dallas, and Houston) and his assassination caught on live tv cameras.
Due to the high profile nature of the controversy a number of political scandals since have been followed by the monkier "Hall".  A more recent example of this would be "LauraHall", an incident relating to then Governor of Montana Scott Westman in 1986.

[Mechaman]

"LauraHall"

An infamous sex scandal that occurred in August 1986 relating to then Governor Scott Westman of Montana.  The Democratic Governor, whose approval ratings were already at record lows, was accused by a fringe right tabloid watchdog organization Moral Guardians R'Us, Inc. of having had consensual sexual relations with Laura Finney Watson, the wife of his friend and Pennsylvania US Senator Lawrence "Larry" Watson.  The controversy was at first laughed off by many due to the nature of the tabloid and many chalked it off as "typical moral paranoia regarding a certain Governor Westman".
However, on August 7th, 1986 things would change considerably.  Namely, Senator Watson taking off of work in the middle of the day and getting into a physical confrontation with Governor Westman.
As a result many on the fringe began to charge that Watson assaulted Westman because of an obvious sexual relationship with Watson's wife.  Why else would a US Senator come to Montana to kick the Governor's ass?
Normally this wouldn't be that controversial except for a few factors: 1) Accusations that the Governor was accepting "sex for favors".  A visitor log of the Governor's office from 1985-present would reveal that an unusually high number of women visited the Governor's office.  Many of them were in their late twenties and early thirties, the age range preferable to Scott Westman.  Many of them were also from various Montana companies and special interest groups.  A few of the women, notably Shannon Gershowitz of the local shooting range in Helena, vehemently deny being involved with Westman.  A sexual affair with his best friend's wife suggests that she might be trying to get pro-Union concessions from the usually anti-Union Democrat Westman.  Considering that one of Westman's first acts was to pass the largest salary increase for Montana state government workers in history, the scandal would gain strength.  2) A number of anonymous testimonies that over a three year period Westman had been diverting left over campaign monies to an Escrow account for an account named LFW at Pittsburgh Market Credit Union.  If this accusation were proven to it would be an implication of an ethical misconduct on the part of Westman, since the usage of left over campaign monies for banking purposes is illegal circa the MacMahon-Hart Campaign Reform Bill of 1974 (the bill, proposed by then Freshman US Senator Tobin MacMahon of Virginia, would impress party bosses so much that in two years time he would become the Democratic US Senate Whip, an incredible feat for a 4 year US Senator, along with former Colorado Senator Gary Hart) which has a penalty of $500,000 in fines and the resigning of his office.  If the fraud involves more than $1 million then he would also be required to serve no less then 6 months in prison. 3) Although he was from another state, Senator Watson was incredibly popular amongst labor union Democrats in Montana.  The slightest notion that an affair happened would damn Westman's approval amongst blue collar Union Democrats in places like Butte.  So not only would it be an affront to traditional values voters it would give economically left Democrats in Montana, who are already fed up with Westman's neo-liberal economic and fiscal policies, even less of a reason to like him.
The scandal, at the time, would be one of the most controversial in the history of Montana.

[Dr. Cynic]

Oh snap!

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

How about the careers of HHH, Bob Dole, John Ashbrook, & Henry M Jackson?

[Mechaman]

How about the careers of HHH, Bob Dole, John Ashbrook, & Henry M Jackson?

Hubert Horatio Humphrey goes from US Senator from 1949 to US Secretary of Labor during Robert Kennedy's first term in office.  After his stay in the Secretary of Labor office he retires from politics in 1973 before accepting a job offer as the President of the AFL-CIO in 1977.  As of November 1986 he is still the President of AFL-CIO and has been praised for his efforts in preventing "the elimination of labor rights" under the administration of Phil Crane.

Bob Dole............is Bob Dole.

John Ashbrook, after spending many years as a Republican, finally defected to the Conservative Party in September of 1985.  Upon his entry into the party President Phil Crane openly said "John, this party has gone far too damn long without your inspiration."  Within months he would be given the Conservative House Leader position unanimously.

Henry M. "Scoop" Jackson is US Senator from Washington from 1953-1959.  He would serve one term in the US Senate before he would be defeated in a Republican wave in Washington in 1958.  However, he wouldn't stay out of office long, running for Governor in 1960 and being elected into office.  However, he would be defeated yet again in 1964 in yet another Republican wave election.  He takes a four year sabbatical and runs for the US Senate in 1968.  Taking advantage of the Democratic wave of that year in the wake of the election of Robert Kennedy he comes back into the US Senate after an absence of ten years from the US Senate.  Over the next six years he would push for a more interventionist policy in foreign affairs and a stronger welfare system.  Deciding he had enough he would retire in 1975, after acquiring a record as an up-and-down politician.

[Dr. Cynic]

A living and active HHH at 75... Awesome.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Very touching story with Ashbrook. Also, poor Scoop. Shouldve known there wouldn't be much sympathy for him though.

[Mechaman]

Very touching story with Ashbrook. Also, poor Scoop. Shouldve known there wouldn't be much sympathy for him though.

Trust me it's not really anything I have against Scoop Jackson it's just I really didn't know what to do with him in a US History without Vietnam and Watergate.  It's not like the Rockefeller Republicans who I can easily portray as bad guys in a TL about a libertarian leaning mountain west Democrat.

[Mechaman]

The Reckoning Day
August 9th, 1986:

Scott Westman walks out of his office for a quick smoke break when he is hounded by members of the press.
Westman: Not now ladies and gentlemen.  I'll tell you about the environmental bill lat-
Press: GOVERNOR!  Is it true that you have an escrow account set up in-
Westman: Gentlemen it sounds like somebody doesn't understand what "escrow" means.  I am not in the business of giving money to people and expecting them to pay it back.  Besides, what the hell is this talk of an escrow account anyway?
Press: Governor, surely you know?
Westman looks shocked.
Westman: Actually no I don't.  I've been locked in my office for the past two days.
Press: Well sir, they saw you and Senator Watson-
Westman: Oh what!?  A US Senator in a fit of rage coming over and clotheslining me for making out with his wife while we were drunk on St. Patrick's Day years ago is newsworthy?
Press man is shocked.
Westman: Well I mean come on is that what're you telling me?  Is news so boring now days that you have to drag up every story of drunk people to make it entertaining?
Press: Governor!  This is about the rumors that you have accepted lewd rewards for favors while in your office!
Westman: Look, if I'm getting laid it's probably because I'm a sexy devil, not because I'm offering "favors" to special interest groups!  Which is more than I can say for you, Dan.
A female reporter giggles.  Westman points.
Westman: Yeah see exactly.  This is a non-issue and I'm frankly very insulted that you press people would bring up such wild things to say!  What is the day going that bad for you?
Press: And what about the escrow account for LFW?  There are some who say that you diverted campaign funds to a Laura Finney Watson, the wife of your friend Larry Watson.  Is this to keep her quiet?
Westman grabs the press person by the collar of his shirt and slams him against a nearby car.
Westman: Listen you goddamn son of a bitch!  That is the last time you or anybody else will ever and I mean EVER say such slander about Laura Watson!  If I sense that you so much as think about it I will rip your head off and stick it on a f**king pike!  Do you get me!?  DO YOU GET ME!!!?  No more comment.
The press looks shocked at Westman's display of anger.  Westman looks back at them.
Westman: NO FURTHER COMMENT!
Governor Westman walks off and gets into his 1982 Jeep Wrangler and drives off.

[Mechaman]

February 2nd, 1979
Washington D.C.
Luigi's Bar and Grill:

Westman: Wow dude that sucks.
Larry Watson begins to cry rivers of tears.
Watson: How could I be so foolish?
Westman puts a hand on his shoulder.
Westman: Come on man stop it.  You're embarrassing me.
Watson: It's just I.....I can't stand it.  She means everything to......me.
Westman: Larry, the bartender is looking at us like we're a couple of fags man.  Please man up.
Watson: F**k you!  You don't know what I lost!
Westman gets an offended look on his face.
Westman: What you lost?  Oh yeah that's right.  I have no idea what you lost.  I've only had the love of my life murdered in cold blood.  I guess I have no right to be apathetic about yours breaking up with you because you are a f**king alcoholic.
Watson: HOW DARE YOU!
Westman: No my friend, how dare you.  You had the sweetest girl in the world and you lost her because of your incompetence.  What the hell she saw in you I don't know.  Maybe it was pity?
Watson shoves Westman.  Westman gets up off his stool and faces Watson.
Westman: You have any idea what any man in this town would give to be with a girl like Laura?  Do you?  I would give my left testicle to have a girl as sweet as Laura-
Watson: Is that what this is Scott!?  You jealous bastard!
Westman: NO!  THAT IS NOT WHAT I-
Watson: I should've known better.  You were always jealous of us.  You were always jealous that I got her.  You couldn't stand seeing me with her.  ADMIT IT!
Someone else in the bar: Shut up!
Westman: That isn't true Larry.  Let me ask you why did Laura Finney move over to the Staties?  She did it for you goddamn it.  Some fatass American she knew for five minutes-
Watson: -we spent two days together!  TWO DAYS!  Those were the greatest two days of my life.
Westman: And just to think, the legacy of those two days.....all in vain because you decided you'd rather be an uncontrollable alcoholic over being the white knight in shining armor for Laura Finney.  You took a naive young Australian girl, an innocent girl, and you shattered her dreams.  After all of those thousands of miles.....practicing to get her American citizenship.  All she ever wanted was to be with the man she loved.  A man to grow old with, a man to have children with.  It's just too sad that it turned out that you weren't a man at all.
Watson picks up his glass and pours it out on Westman's shirt.
Watson: Go to Hell Scott.
Larry Watson storms off, knocking over a few tables in the process.  Westman, with the remains of Watson's Rum and Coke on his shirt, yells after him.
Westman: You know it's true Larry Watson!  You had the greatest girl in the world and you let her get away!  How will you live with yourself!?  HOW WILL YOU!
Another person in the bar: Shut up!
Let's hope this reverse psychology works Scott.

[Mechaman]

August 9th, 1986
Montana Governor Mansion:

Scott Westman comes home and slams the door behind him.  Caroline, who was watching the news from the television, runs over to her husband rushes into his arms.  She starts crying.
Caroline: Darling!  It's horrible!  The things they're saying!  It's like a nightmare-
Westman: I know sweet Caroline.  I know.
TV: Earlier this evening Governor Westman was approached by members of the press on the latest controversy regarding his relationship with Laura Watson-
Caroline: Those bastards!  How could they imply such a fault to Laura?  She's the sweetest person I know!
TV: the governor cursed out the reporter and threw him against a car in anger in regards to implications that the Governor paid off Mrs. Watson to hide an affair.  It is unclear whether or not the Helena Press will press charges against the Governor, who could spend a month of house arrest if the charges are passed.  This would make Scott Westman the first Governor to serve while under house arrest in Montana history if proven true.
Westman: After what those bastards said, they better hope I am put under house arrest-
Caroline: Honey....please.  Don't let them get to you.  You got such a horrible temper.  I'm amazed you didn't throw him threw one of the car windows frankly.
It was then that the phone rang.
Caroline runs to the phone and answers it.
Caroline: Governor's Mansion.  This is First Lady Caroline Kennedy Westman speaking.
..........
Caroline: Scott, it's for you.
Scott Westman goes over to the phone and picks it up.
Westman: Scott Westman.  Who is this?
Laura: Scott, it's me.

[Mechaman]

April 18th, 1979
Downtown Garden District
Washington D.C.

US Senator Scott Westman, D-MT, looks up across the table at his beautiful lunchmate.
Westman: Well Laura.  This was quite an unexpected pleasure.
Laura Finney blushes.
Laura: Well you know I'm not usually this bold.
Westman: You telling me!  I'm used to asking!
Laura laughs.
Westman: Of course, I ALWAYS WIN.
Laura puts up a finger and wags it at him.
Laura: You didn't win the first time we met.  Remember?
Westman shrugs.
Westman: Meh, there's exceptions to every rule.  Look, Laura, as much as I enjoy my greatest dream coming true I have to ask........how're you and Larry doing?
Laura's face turns from joy to a bit of a somber expression.  She looks like she's thinking hard about what to say.
Laura: Scott............me and Larry haven't talked since.....well....since February.
Westman gets a look of hurt.
Wow, Scott really does care about Larry.  Maybe this was a mistake.
Westman puts his napkin in his lap and then contemplates what to say next.
Westman: YOu know Laura, I have to say it's quite a shame.  Larry, as much as he has his faults....he really loved you.
Laura: I know he did Scott.  I know he did.  But.....he was just too damn conflicted with himself.  I mean.......you know how he is.  That alcohol and him......they're like bedmates or something.  He was more in love with that bottle than he was with me!
Westman: I really had high hopes for you two.  Really I did.
Laura laughs.
Laura: Buster, you're not the only one who had high hopes.  Why did you think I moved over here anyway?  Free healthcare?  Social Security?  To join a Union.  Bitch please!
Westman dies laughing.
Westman: "Bitch please!"  Laura you kill me!  You're almost as funny as you are beautiful!
Laura blushes.
Laura: Oh really?  You do?  How sweet of you Scott!
Just then, one of the waitresses walks over to the table.  Westman looks up and grabs her hand and kisses it.
Westman: Chloe!  How wonderful to see you again.
Chloe: How wonderful of you to come by Senator.
Oh great, the one place I invite Scott Westman to for lunch is one of the places where he's already shagged at least one of the waitresses.
Westman: Chloe, this is Mademoiselle-
Chloe: I know cowboy her name is Laura Finney.  She comes here all the time with her art buddies and orders the Cruscean Salad with lite Italian sauce.  Would you two like to hear the wine of the day?
Westman: No thanks Chloe.  I would like to order a bottle of Chaf Lauddreux '58 for me and the lady.
Chloe: Yes sir!
Laura looks shocked.  Westman looks at her.
Westman: What?
Laura: Chaf Lauddreux?
Westman chuckles
Westman: Yeah what about it?
Laura: '58?
Westman: Well of course!  Old wine is much better.
Laura: But that's a 21 year old wine Scott!  That runs about-
Westman: Yes I know......about $2,358 a bottle.
Laura's mouth drops open.
Westman: It's one of the most premium wines in the world.
Laura stammers
Laura: I must really protest Scott.........seriously this lunch alone will cost you $2400!
Westman smirks.
Westman: Well, that would be a problem.......IF MONEY DIDN'T GROW ON TREES.
Laura looks perplexed.
Laura: So did you win the lottery or something?
Westman pulls out some paperwork.
Westman: Close.
He hands the paperwork to Laura Finney.  She looks closer at the paper:

Mr. Scott Westman
Statement of Capital Stock Transactions

She reads a whole list of companies that Westman bought stock from with $250,000 of inheritance money from his grandfather's will.  At the end she sees:

Total Investment Return: $27,768,923.11

Laura cracks up.
Laura: Only you could be so lucky!
Little did either of them now that as they were having lunch together the stock market was undergoing it's worst drop in a single day since the Great Depression.
Westman: Yeah I guess I am.  So how's life going?
Laura: Honestly?  Not really well.  Sometimes I feel incredibly lonely.  I got all the friends in the world now in the Art Institute, but I still feel so alone.  That's why I wanted to see you.
Westman: The only person you need to see is Larry.
Laura: Please Scott (reaches across the table and holds his hand).  I really need this.
Westman: Laura, I can't help you find fulfillment.  You don't need a friend alright?  You need a loverman.  That's what you got in Larry.
Laura: Is he getting better?
Westman sighs.
Westman: Honestly Laura?
Laura: Yes, honestly.  Please?
Westman: I haven't talked to Larry in two and a half months.
Laura: Really?  What happened?
Westman chuckles.
Westman: I guess you didn't hear.  Me and Larry had a falling out over a controversial subject.
Laura: Let me guess.....that subject is talking to you right now?
Westman: I might've got onto him for crying and making us look gay with him leaning on my shoulder.  And I also might've called him a screwup alcoholic.
Laura looks shocked.  Westman gives her a guilty look.
Westman: I'm not proud of it.  Honestly, I thought reverse psychology would work on him.  Apparently it didn't.  He hates my guts right now.  At least that's what Mo tells me.
Laura: So who is that one fellow you hanging out with lately on the Hill?
Westman: Oh, Thad?  Thad O'Connor?  Yeah he's a Republican from Maine.
Laura laughs.
Laura: You?  Hanging out with a Republican?  That's a shocker.
Westman: He may be Republican, but he's also a misunderstood lace curtain mongrel bastard like myself.  He's really cool you know.  He's a libertarian.  We occasionally go to his place in Portland on weekends to smoke weed, go fishing, and talk about music, philosophy, and film.
Laura: That sounds really fun.  Not!
Westman shrugs.
Laura: Well that really sucks.  I didn't mean for you two to have a fall-
Westman shakes his head and waves his hands around.
Westman: Hey!  Listen!  It's not your fault Laura.  It's not your damn fault!  Larry was an alcoholic.  Hell, from what I hear he still is an alcoholic.  He had the opportunity to lax up on your request and he didn't.  Most women in your situation would've reacted the same way.
Laura: I guess.  It's just I don't want you losing friends.
Westman: Let me worry about losing friends alright?  Besides, I got enough friends to lose.
Laura: You're talking kind of funny there Mister Westman.  A few minutes ago you couldn't be more giddy about getting me and Larry back together and now you've admitted a lack of regret about losing friendships due to your blunt tendencies.
Westman: If I'm not blunt how am I ever going to get my point across?
Laura laughs.
Laura: Quite true I guess.
Laura looks down, nervously, before looking back up at Westman.
Laura: Well.........I guess there are some thing we all have to let go of eventually.
Westman, with a look of pain, raises his glass in the air.
Westman: I guess you're right.
The two click glasses.

[Dr. Cynic]

Verrrrrrrrrrrrrrry interesting, Mr. Bond

I like watching Larry Watson act a bit stupid before his hopeful redemption... But good god, does he have to get that temper under control!

[Mechaman]

April 19th, 1979
Senator Mo Udall's Office:

Senator Westman is lying down on Udall's couch with a very somber expression on his face.
Westman: I just wish yesterday never happened.
Udall looks over at Westman.
Udall: Wow, that's very unexpected of you Scott.  I remember you having a very happy expression on your face when you came back from lunch.
Westman: Yeah well.....I was a fool.  I don't know how I'm going to live with myself.
Udall: My boy, you had lunch......LUNCH....with Laura Finney.  It's not like you took her to a dinner and a movie and then you talked her into staying the night and sexed her on the floor in front of the fireplace.
Westman: I might as well have done that.  That's Larry's girl.
Mo slams his fist on the desk.
Udall: Look Scott, I love Larry.  But he's a damned fool.  And frankly so are you.
Westman scoffs.
Udall: I'm serious man.  The sweetest girl in the world enters both of your lives and you guys do everything possible to keep her distant.  What the hell!?
Westman gets up off the couch and walks over to his desk.
Westman: Look Mo, if anything happens between me and Laura, not matter how much part of me would love it, I would still never be able to look at myself in the mirror afterward.
Udall: If there is anything I've learned lately it's that Larry Watson deserves to suffer.
Westman: Unbelievable!  That guy is like a son to you man!
Udall: Yes I know you have to defend your younger brother, dear eldest.  But, surely after all you have learned, your maturing through the years, through all of your loves and losses, that fortune favors the bold and disfavors the weak.  Larry Watson right now isn't very bold and he is very weak.  He's repeatedly refused to go to the AA sessions I schedule for him, refuses to talk to his best friend, and doesn't even try to get back with the love of his life.  He is in a mess and he seems to be either enjoying it or unwilling to get back to what he had.  He doesn't deserve Laura.
Westman: That's really poetic of you, father.  However, I still don't see how this excuses me to......
Udall: Because frankly Scott Westman, given his affection and care for those of the opposite sex closest to him, deserves Laura Watson.  I'm really shocked at you lad.  Usually you would be jumping at the opportunity to bed a pretty young thing.
Westman: Laura Watson means more to me than another "pretty young thing!"
Udall: Well then don't sleep with her.  Make love to her.
Westman scoffs.
Westman: You just don't understand Mo.  Jesus.  Besides, what would Larry think?
Udall laughs.
Udall: He already hates your guts for "betraying him" a few months back.  You really think it could get any worse?  What's he going to do?  Run over to your apartment and kick your ass?
Westman: It's a possibility.
Udall laughs.
Udall: Okay whatever kid.  Anyway, what're you doing on May 21st?
Westman: Well my daughter is coming over to visit so I figured we probably go to a fine dining restaurant and maybe to the movies.
Udall chuckles.
Udall: S**t.  Me and my wife are going to a local symphony orchestra and we got two extra tickets.  I was hoping you could come with a special somebody with us.
Just then the door opens and Representative Larry Watson walks in.  There is an uncomfortable moment as Westman looks over at Watson.
Westman looks down at his watch.
Westman: Oh hell!  Look at the time Mo!  I've got to get back to working on that Energy bill before lunch!
Westman heads towards the door before turning towards Larry Watson.  He extends a hand to Larry.
Westman: Representative Watson.  It's great to see you again.
Watson looks at Westman for a few seconds before deciding to extend the Olive Branch and shake hands with him.
Watson: It's good to see you too Scott, I mean Senator Westman.
Finally a concession!
Westman walks out of the office.

[Mechaman]

August 9th, 1986
A Conversation:

Westman: Hey darlin'.  How're ya?
Laura chuckles.  Then he hears her voice.  It sounded like she had been sobbing for days on end.
Laura: I've been better.
Westman: Look Laura, these bastards won't get away with this.  I promise you.
Laura sniffles.
Laura: I'll manage.  But what about you?  Is it true what they said?  Did you really accept-
Westman: Laura I don't want to talk about it.
Laura: Please Scott.  If you're not going to tell me then who are you going to tell.
Westman swallows in his throat.
Westman: (hushed) Yes.
Silence on the other end.
Westman: Look, I know it's not the most ethical thing ever.  But I was feeling real lonely and needy and-
Laura: Alright!  It'll be hard for me to forgive you.  It'll be hard.  But I'm willing to forget what you just said.  Because as angry as I am with you........I have more caring, and more love for you.  You're family Scott.
Westman: I didn't expect you to be okay with it.  In fact, you're the only person I've been able to confess to.
Laura: So is that what I am to you?  A f**king priest?
Westman: Please Laura, please.
Laura: These people are calling me a slut who uses sex to get labor union demands out of Governors!  YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW F**KING HARD THAT IS ON ME!  ON MY FAMILY!  ALL BECAUSE OF YOUR MOTHERF**KING SEX ADDICTION AND MY HUSBAND'S STUPID F***ING ANGER MANAGEMENT PROBLEM!
Westman: It sounds like Larry isn't the only one with anger proble-
Laura: SHUT THE F**K UP!  SHUT UP!  WHY DO YOU ALWAYS RUIN EVERYTHING?  WHY!?
Westman: Baby...the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you.
Laura: I know......I'm sorry.  I just get so angry now days.  You know, like being a foreigner is such a big deal around here.
Westman: Don't you listen to those assholes.  I'll deal with them.  So will Larry.  These people are despicable Laura.  They are scum.  Don't let them get to you.  You're better than that.
Laura: I'm glad I know you Scott Westman.  Just please promise me one thing.
Westman: What?
Laura: That no matter how many stones they throw at you you won't let it hurt you.  I know, you already went ape on that one guy.  And it's sweet that you care about me that much it really is.  However, I don't want you spending the rest of your governorship in prison.
Westman: Alright, I can remain calm.
Laura: You know it's so strange.  Ten years ago I never thought I would be this involved in American politics.  Now, the reactionaries can't seem to shut up about my involvement in politics or how my "UnAmerican" views affect my husband.
Westman: Welcome to America babe.  So how is Larry doing?
Laura: Oh he's trying to manage.  He almost beat up a protestor the other day on national tv you know whenever the question was brought up about the fight.  He goes into long expletive filled rants on an almost nightly basis in front of the kids about how wrong, how not right this situation is.  He's losing it Scott.  I'm afraid he might do something bad.  Like get drunk to deal with the situation.
Westman: Laura, there is nothing wrong with alcohol-
Laura: Well with you there never is.  That's because you know your limits.  Larry simply doesn't believe in them.  Why I put up with it I'll never know.
Westman: Because you love him that's why.
Laura: I love you too Scott.  But you're nowhere as bad of a drinker as he is.
Westman: Oh I intake quite a bit.  Just ask Caroline sometime.  Sometimes I walk home from work drunker than a dockworker on St. Paddy's Day.
Laura: Did you see that new Scorsese film?
Westman: Oh yes, Gangs of New York.  Very excellent and well done film.  I must say that even for me the violence was a bit graphic but overall it was a very well done film.  I especially loved the mood of the time and era of the set.  DeNiro did an amazing job as Amsterdam Vallon.  I almost forgot he was Italian after that performance.
Laura: Yes quite a good job.  Anyway, look on the bright side of this at least you got two more years until re-election.  Larry's got two and a half months.
Westman: With his Titanic popularity it's going to take more than "OMG his wife is a foreigner and a skank!" to sink his bid.
Laura: You know there is something I have to tell you Scott.
Westman: What?
Laura: I've only made love to two men in my entire life.  The first one was Larry Watson.  The second one was you.
So she was a virgin when she met Larry?  Lucky bastard.

[Mechaman]

NOTE:

I realized that one of the earlier posts I had up was kind of crappy and unoriginal so I erased it and then erased the one after that and combined it with a previous post.

Looking back though, this revision works better.

Sorry for the confusion.

[Dr. Cynic]

NOTE:

I realized that one of the earlier posts I had up was kind of crappy and unoriginal so I erased it and then erased the one after that and combined it with a previous post.

Looking back though, this revision works better.

Sorry for the confusion.

I missed the deleted entries, but everything still looks quite awesome.

[Mechaman]

Westman on Rockefeller Republicanism:

I can think of few political platforms much more dangerous to the health and well being of this nation than that of the so-called "moderates" within the Republican Party.  I'd say give me the conservatives any day because at least their ideology doesn't ultimately result in a slave state to corporate fascists.

Rockefeller Republicanism can be summed up like this: take the very worst of conservatism and "progressivism" and combine it together.  The only people who benefit at all from this agenda are the Grey Poupon eating bastards who thought it up.

Expecting pure at heart liberalism and respect for civil liberties from a so-called "moderate" Republican is like expecting the guy who is going to rape your wife in front of you to use a condom.  All you're ever going to be left with is disappointment.

Hell, I'm probably more liked by conservative Republicans than the so-called "moderate" Republicans are.

You know who the real moderates are in the Republican Party?  Real hardasses like Thad O'Connor and Mark Hatfield.  Guys who truly believe in the importance of American liberty and non-interventionism and respect for the civil rights of all Americans.  I respect these men.  I have less than none for the so-called Rockefellerian devotees who label themselves "moderate".  Hell, I even have a ton of respect for conservatives like Robert Taft, Jr. and Barry Goldwater a hell of a lot more than statie lovers like Rockefeller and Javits.  Oh too soon? (Javits died several days before this quote).

I don't know what the hell it is that makes these morons think that we like them or that their WASP elitist policies would appeal to Democrats.  Because that is all I hear from people around heres is about how those Rockefellers are anti-working class morons who are better fit in front of a firing line than in a US Congress.

As long as the image of Rockefeller WASP elitism remains in the Northeast GOP then we have nothing to fear about losing our Hibernian and Latin bases.  God let's hope none of them wise up and decide to run on a socially conservative platform.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

Good stuff man, keep it coming.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

NOTE:

I realized that one of the earlier posts I had up was kind of crappy and unoriginal so I erased it and then erased the one after that and combined it with a previous post.

Looking back though, this revision works better.

Sorry for the confusion.

WHY DO I HAVE TO MISS EVERYTHING?!

[Mechaman]

May 21st, 1979
Ochenbalch's Orchestra House
Washington D.C.

Senator Udall and his wife are sitting in one of the private boxes in the Orchestra with a couple of guests.  Udall looks behind his shoulder and notes:
Udall: So glad you guys could join us.  You beautiful couple you!
Brea Westman giggles and Scott Westman has a mild chuckle.
Brea: Well daddy didn't believe me when I told him I would've liked to go to a real DC Orchestra!  I've always had a love for the fine arts.
Udall: Scott, no offense man, I mean your daughter is very lovely.  I'm sure all of your friends are extremely jealous that you have such a fine lovely young babe with you willing to go with you on dates to make you look sociable and what not.
Brea laughs.
Westman: Yes, she's quite delicious.
Westman wraps an arm around Brea's lower back and moves her closer to him in the luxury love sofa and kisses her red hair.  She nuzzles against his neck and sighs contently.
Ms. Udall: It looks like they get along quite famously Mo.  Looks like he made the right choice.
Udall: It's really easy to woo somebody who already has your genes in her Scott.  Now a totally not related to you at all chick, like that pretty little Laura Finney chick, now that's an accomplishment.  And she's quite the looker.
Westman: Mo, I see Laura Finney almost everyday now.  I see her more than I do Larry actually.
Udall: Maybe that's telling you something my lad.
Westman: Don't "my lad" me man.  Do I look friggin Irish to you?
Udall muses for a second.
Udall: Well..........your last name is Westman.
Westman throws his hands up in a "surrender" fashion.
Udall: Anyway, you should really think that maybe she likes you too Scott.
Westman: It's not that simple okay man?  She's Larry's-
Udall: Yes she's Larry's girl.  I've heard this routine before man.  Any other guy who was as close to Laura Finney as you are would be more than willing to have her.  Yet, because of your devoted loyalty to a full blown alcoholic asshole like Larry Watson you are refusing love.
Westman: Hey!  Don't you speak that way about Larry!
Udall: Jesus kid.  What're you?  His older brother?
Westman: Yes maybe I am!
Udall: You know, older men are considered sexy.
Westman: Dude!  Larry Watson is like a son to yo-
Music chimes in as the Orchestra starts.
Ms. Udall: Silence gentlemen.

The Orchestra would play for three hours.  Brea Westman would be completely enthralled with the performances.  As would Ms. Udall.  Senators Udall and Westman though, pretending to enjoy high class culture, would fall asleep forty-five minutes into it.  Ms. Udall would have none of it and would slap Senator Udall out of it.  Brea, being the sweet girl she always was, nudged her father awake and sat in his lap for the rest of the Orchestra.  However, this only made Westman feel even more comfortable and he fell asleep fifteen minutes later.  Westman would wake up a couple of hours later as the Grand Orchestra were taking their bows.  Brea looks at him.
Brea: Typical dad.  Can't stay awake through an orchestra.
Udall: Even with a pretty girl on his lap.
Ms. Udall: I knew this box seating might've been a bad idea.  These sofas.......who puts sofas in an Orchestra building?
Udall: Some guy whose wife or girlfriend loves orchestra music.  Seems like a great idea to me.
Ms. Udall slaps Mo over the head.
Ms. Udall: TYPICAL!
Udall takes out a pipe and starts smoking.  Westman follows suit.  Brea gets off Westman.
Westman: Personally.....I would've preferred shooting something.
Brea gasps.
Brea: But dad!
Westman: I know I know....."how can you kill Bambi, Daddy!?"
Udall: How can you live with yourself man?  Shooting cute innocent deer?
Westman: Hey man!  Those deers are real bastards.  Why do you think they enjoy running in front of jeeps up there anyway?  Exercise?
Udall: But dude you're shooting something with a pulse!
Westman: Mo.....dude you obviously haven't been to Montana in awhile.  Wild animals man, they will eat you.  Especially the damned grizzly bears.  Why do you think even us hippies love our guns up there?  But in my defense I don't shoot does.  I would never EVER hurt a female of any species.
Udall: Oh yes of course Loverman.  You prefer to do something else with them.  Scott Westman: He kills males and he sexes females.  Like any real king of the Animal Kingdom should!
Westman: I like it.  Maybe I'll make it my new family motto.  But I'll do this high class act if it makes my ladies happy.
Udall: So you are Irish after all!
Westman laughs.
Westman: What can I say?  I love my family.  More than life itself.  Does that make me weird Mo?
Udall: No.  Going on more dates with your friggin daughter than single ladies not related to you makes you weird.  Seriously man, Laura likes you.
Westman: That doesn't matter man.
Udall: Yes it does.  She told me herself.  She says that she finds herself extremely attracted to you right now Scott.  She wants to go out with you and maybe let you have unprotected sex with her.
Westman: Jesus Mo.  My daughter is here!
Brea: How many girls did you bring back to our house in Missoula, dad?  Also, how hard was it for me to sleep some nights because you brought home a shrieker?
Udall: Exactly.  She's a grown girl she can handle this talk.  Deal with it.
Westman: Look man, I love Laura.
Udall: Then why the hell are you not doing anything about it?  If you love her so much Scott why aren't you going out with her right now?  Why are you letting blind loyalty to a guy who probably still hates you get in the way of your emotional wants?
Westman: Because I believe that loyalty is more impor-
Udall:-well I guess I should tell Laura she's wasting her time over here.  She's lost any reason to stay really.  She came over here because she fell in love with an American.  Right now she's in love with an American.  A handsome American with long pretty red hair who can have any woman he wants.  I guess I should tell her your selfish devotion, your manlove for her alcoholic ex is so much that you would rather her leave this nation heartbroken in tears of the failed dreams she had while over here than the possibility of being her man.
Westman looks down in shock.
Goddamn it.  He's right.
The Hell you talking about?  Mo's always right.
Brea looks at Westman.
Brea: Come on dad.  Mo is right.  I've seen the way you look at her.  I've seen the way she looks at you too.  If that isn't love I don't know what is.
Westman chuckles.
Westman: Alright fine.  I'll ask her out tomorrow.  We'll make love.  And then three months from now we'll get married, buy a white picket house, and have eight kids.
Udall: THAT'S THE SPIRIT!

[Mechaman]

August 9th, 1986
Conversation Cont.:

Westman: You know that's just damn hilarious hon.  The only two people you've ever slept with was the most devoted man in the history of devoted men...........and the other guy had one of the worst sex addictions in history.  Interesting contrast there.
Laura: Don't be too hard on yourself Scott.  You're not the only person whose been unfaithful before.
Westman: You make it sound so freaking simple.
Laura: It isn't.  You think I shrugged off what happened?  You think it's easy for me to sleep at night?  Thinking about that one night?
Westman: Laura, that was years ago.  Anyway there is a difference between a one time affair and an uncontrollable sex addiction.
Laura: But.....it's just that the more I think about it the more I......am thankful it happened.
Westman: Laura.............I...I....
Laura: He has your eyes.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Whooooo!