Midwest Universal Alþing Proposal Introducing Thread

[President Mitt]

Giovanni Hates Guniea Pigs (as well as the Pacific) Act

I. Guinea Pigs are hereby declared to be enemies of the state.

II. All owners shall dispose of their pet guinea pigs by turning them in to the local Sheriff's department.

1. Neighbors who turn in citizens who are suspected of harboring guinea pigs can be eligible for a reward up to, but not exceeding $100.
 
III. Owners who do not comply are liable for penalties up to one year in jail, and a fine up to $100,000.

IV. The confiscated guinea pigs are to be dropped upon unsuspecting Pacific citizens from planes financed by the Midwestern government.

[President Mitt]

Well, I'm open to amendments.

[President Mitt]

May I ask where the money came from?

Currency in the Midwest consists mainly of stuff we find in our pockets at the time we pay for something.

I recently purchased my 'Kalwejt for Senate' bumper sticker with a pen cap, a pebble, a broken staple, and some lint.

[President Mitt]

We Hates Furigners Act

If any foreigner (non Midwest citizen) is found in the government buildings, meaning the Midwest Universal Alþing, and it's Proposal Introducing Thread, a government subsidized angry mob will string him up at the nearest bonzi tree.

[President Mitt]

The solution is simple, pass a bill that prohibits Atlasian Government officials from setting foot in the Midwest. Yelnoc will not be able to complete his unemployment report, and the Midwestern people will be content with bread and circuses. May that cause a civil war? Possibly, but who knows, that may be cool.