The Porcupine: The most trusted name in news.

[CatoMinor]

Interview with Tweed: An inside look at Atlasia's beginnings and possible future
By Jbrase

Question one: Tweed, you are one of the few who have been here since day one. Describe Atlasia in the early days for our readers.
Answer: astrophysicists postulate that in the first Planck Length of time, the physical laws of the universe that have governed since did not apply.  ie, chaos.  as was the case in early Atlasia.  it was a vacuum, ideas here, personalities there, and through the guiding influence of myself and a few others, it found structure.

those were the AOL Instant Messenger days, so much of the politicking went on there.  the first election was held prior to the passage of the constitution.  before the Atlas Fantasy board proper was created, the threads were posted in 'US Presidential Election Results'.  I have posted a set of questions from a fellow named Junkie, which goes into greater detail on many points.

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=153429

Question: For those who are unaware, please explain to our readers what Tweedism is.
Answer: In the beginning of my campaign, I defined it simply as "a fusion of the revolutionary-political with the reactionary-cultural".  by now everyone should know of my sympathy for the great 20th Century actually existing socialist movements and states, and seek to push the state apparatus further towards this end.  in the Court case, I stated that, in an Atlasian context, Tweedism is the "absence of ideology" -- those comments are available publicly.

Question: As by now everyone is well aware, you are continuing your efforts to become president in the Supreme Court. How confident are you that the court will issue an opinion making you President-elect?
Answer: I like my chances better than I did 4-5 days ago.  I am ecstatic that the Court appears to be willing to engage my argument despite its uniqueness of form.  I can't say how confident I am of a victory, but I am very confident that my case has received a fair hearing.

Question: Lets the Supreme Court rules in your favor and you become President. Walk us through what a Tweed Administration would look like.
Answer:  I have a few concrete plans.  first I would like to absolutely re-iterate that all federal elections will occur on schedule.  the People's Tweedist Republic will NOT be a one-party dictatorship.  on a website, what fun would that be?  however, I would issue a directive on inauguration day to the Department of Federal Elections to only take into account first preferences in tabulating and certifying election results, and award victory to the candidate with the highest number of first preferences in a given election, regardless of whether or not this constitutes a majority of votes.  I would leave at least a few offices vacant, and fold the positions of Game Moderator, Secretary of Internal Affairs, and Secretary of External Affairs into one post -- the Ministry of Information, to be headed by ex-president Lief. 

Question: Who was the best co-star on Seinfeld?
Answer: Michael Richards.

Question: Finally, what are your thoughts on the current Supreme Court case Atlasia vs The Imperial Dominion of the South?
Answer:  Haven't been following.

[CatoMinor]

Breaking News

We are receiving unconfirmed reports that senior analyst for The People's Paper, Duke, has been hospitalized after mumbling with a confused look on his face about voices coming from people withing his chest telling him to do things.

[Donerail]

The Imperial Herald

Reporting on Imperial matters for The Porcupine

Here's Where Sh*t Stands - Post-Yelnoc Edition

The IDS is still reeling from the retirement of Speaker Yelnoc. Yelnoc, who served as speaker for upwards of 20 months, was an institution in the IDS Legislature and performed his duties admirably. The Imperial Bloc also lost its founder; the Bloc is the foremost advocate of the IDS in all matters, and shall hopefully continue in that role despite the loss of Yelnoc.


With Yelnoc's retirement, a space in the IDS Legislature, as well as the Speakership of that illustrious body, opened. Legislator Jbrase did declare for Speaker and, with no opponents, was confirmed by acclamation. Emperor PiT appointed Secretary of External Affairs SJoyceFla to the open spot in the Legislature, his second appointment in almost as many days (BritishDixie was appointed to the Legislature following the resignation of Vice President-elect Kalwejt).


Yelnoc's departure also opened up vacancies in the leadership of the Imperial Bloc. Vice Chairman Jbrase has assumed the mantle of Acting Chairman, a position he will maintain until the next convention. He has appointed SJoyceFla to fill his position as Vice Chairman.


In recent days, the IDS Legislature has:

• Prohibited oil drilling within 10.5 nautical miles of the shoreline (by a 4-1 vote)
• Changed the name of the Special Prosecutor (one who defends the IDS in court) to Defender of the Realm (by a 4-1 vote).
• Discussed the Southern Unity Act, which would extend voting privileges in IDS elections to Southerners outside of the IDS (bill withdrawn by sponsor)
• Discussed an act designed to increase activity and participation through better advertising the IDS

The IDS Legislature shall address in the coming days:

• Three acts introduced by Jbrase altering the Imperial flag, naming system, and other such things
• An act designed to protect our citizens from Satan by banning license plates with more than two sixes
• A bill that would lead to the IDS colonizing a portion of Antarctica

Senate Update: The Senate is currently debating the Protection of Legal Regional Functions Act, which would help constrain the ability of the federal government to restrict the legal functions of the regions. This bill would be a great advancement for regional rights, and Southerners should give their support to it.


Court Update: The Supreme Court is currently formulating their ruling in the case of Atlasia v. IDS. A ruling should be expected "soon", according to Chief Justice Ebowed. The Court is rather busy, given the concurrent case of Boss Tweed v. Department of Federal Elections, which is the most likely reason for the delay.


Polling Update: According to a new poll from the Survey Atlasia polling corporation, regional Senator NC Yankee of the Imperial Bloc has a 100% approval rating, which is the same percentage he was elected by. According to concurrent polling from the same corporation, At-Large Senator Clarence has a remarkably high 81% approval rating, and Emperor PiT has an 83% approval rating.

[CatoMinor]

The Federal Government: Are the office holders above the law?

Last month as many of you are well aware the Attorney General of Atlasia, Fuzzybigfoot, sent federal agents into the Imperial Dominion of the South in an attempt to seize control of the various state capitols and an estimated $25 billion worth of IDS property. All of this was done without a warrant, making it nothing less an armed robbery attempt. Only after the IDS ordered for the arrest of all agents involved did the feds back down so the matter would be decided in court.

For the charges of armed robbery, burglary, criminal trespassing, criminal breach of the peace, and conspiracy against rights Senator Wormyguy introduced articles of impeachment against the Attorney General. That was last month and nothing has happened since. Not so much as a thread has been opened on the matter. This paper is not going to call anyone guilty before they had trial, but that is just it, there is no trial.

For whatever reasons not so much as a thread has been started and by now it is nearing the end of the current administration. Clearly something went wrong somewhere for there to be no trial when such serious charges are thrown at a sitting office holder. From what we can gather the Senate realizing that their SoP do not cover impeachment proceedings (!?!) has essential decided "its not our mess" placing the ball in into the hands of Chief Justice Ebowed who has for unknown reasons not started the proceedings.

So what does this mean?

This means that any Federal office holder can break any rules they wish to without fear of impeachment from office. Until the Senate can pass come concrete procedures on how to handle impeachments this paper sees no reason to believe that any outcome in the future will be any different. As it stands the Chief Justice essentially has the power to completely ignore impeachment charges.   

The Porcupine would like to urge all readers to place pressure on their Senators to pass clarification on how to handle impeachment proceedings. We must make sure all office holders are held accountable. Unfortunately it is becoming too late to do anything about the current articles of impeachment, but w must make sure this embarrassment never happens again.

[Snowstalker Mk. II]

I sat down for an exclusive interview with Governor Nix of the Northeast today, discussing the Roscoe Conkling Equity Before the Law Act.

1. The main political battle in the Northeast was the Roscoe Conkling Equity Before The Law act, which was recently passed 3-2 and signed by you. Explain the reasoning behind this law.

I wrote and first introduced this law during the last session of the Northeast Assembly. It has always seemed perverse to me that a person who earns $150,000 in a year must pay the same fine as someone who earns $15,000 or less. This is not equal treatment. $500, for instance, is a hefty charge for the second person, while it amounts to almost nothing for the former. I introduced this law to guarantee that everyone would receive the same kind of treatment before the law.

Also, during that session, we had devoted a great deal of attention to public safety, debating proposals from Representatives Winfield and Simfan such as the Distracted Driving Act, the Bicycle Safety Act, and the Mind-Altering Substance Accountability Act. This legislative theme inspired me; I see this not only as an issue of fair treatment, but also as an issue of public safety. The penalties for engaging in dangerous behavior must be significant enough to deter people of all income levels from doing so.

2. This act was first proposed under Governor Napoleon, but he chose to veto it. What was his reasoning behind it?

Governor Napoleon’s veto surprised me. I had not realized that so many would receive this bill as a radical proposal. I’ve always seen myself as a moderate and a compromiser, and I think that my work on earlier pieces of legislation – the Healthy Skin Act, for instance – shows that I’m committed to crafting consensus. You’ll recall that I received support from a diverse group of Atlasians during my gubernatorial campaign, including a crowd of left-wingers, Whigs, and libertarians. Generally speaking, I’m to slightly to the right of Napoleon.

As far as I could tell, Napoleon vetoed the bill because he understands the purpose of a penalty differently than I do; whereas I see a fine as primarily a deterrent, Napoleon views the payment of a fine as the payment of an almost-literal debt against society.

3. Why the name? Conkling was best known as the corrupt New York senator and party boss in the late 1800's.

I'm glad that you asked! Conkling helped draft the 14th Amendment - I think that has some relevance to what this law aims to accomplish.

4. Pirates or ninjas?

Pirates.

5. Finally, the main opponent of the RCEL has been Assemblyman and Former Governor Winfield. With worries that Atlasia is becoming more divided along partisan lines, on what issues do you hope to unite the Northeast on?

For one, I’ve already introduced an improved version of Winfield’s Gambling Benefits Act. Winfield himself agrees that his original proposal was flawed. I would prefer to repeal it, but I know that the Assembly favors retaining the law in some form. My proposal is a compromise - it introduces clearer language, introduces oversight with regard to how funds are disbursed, and reduces the special tax rate for casinos by 25%. I think that voters who follow the process closely understand that this is how I usually operate.

It also appears likely that my proposed budget will soon pass with bi-partisan approval in the Assembly. This will be a huge achievement for the region, and I owe thanks to Representatives Simfan and Jones for their service on the Budget Committee, to GM Shua for his aid in compiling figures and performing calculations, and to Governor Napoleon for implementing the budget process that allowed me to introduce and refine a budget bill so easily.

Finally, I believe that Representative Simfan’s proposal for a new regional capital offers a chance for a spiritual renewal in the Northeast. And while this project will be expensive, moving the capital out of New York City is likely to save the region money over time.

[Donerail]

The Imperial Herald

Reporting on Imperial matters for The Porcupine

We're Not Beaten

It was with hope mingled with fear that I consulted my computer this morning to read the Court's opinion. I felt an ominous gloom during the "Statement of Facts", when Chief Justice Ebowed interpreted the Trojan Act to be named after Troy, rather than the contraceptive brand. That gloom multiplied till the first sentence proper of the decision, which filled me with disappointment. "It is the opinion of this Court that Section 2 of the Trojan Act is in clear violation of Article I, Section 7, Clause 2"; in other words, the Court has struck down the (clearly Constitutional in the minds of the people of the South, if not the eyes of the Court) Trojan Act.

Some may claim it is now over. Some may say that "The Dibble is done for, there shall never be another." These people are wrong. Although this decision is certainly a step back for the future of free enterprise, it does not stop the Dibble. Sure, you can't get your Dibbles exchanged at your state capitol building now. Sure, the IDS cannot accept it. But you can still get them, you can still buy them, and they're still usable. We may have lost this battle, but the war's not over yet. With the Dibble now established and pre-existing for a year tomorrow, AG Fuzzy cannot win a second case fought on those grounds, and with the government facilities shut down, that plank of the case goes out the window too. We are not beaten, we have not given up, and we shall continue to fight!

IDS Legislator SJoyceFla serves as the IDS Correspondent for The Porcupine

[Associate Justice PiT]

     The dibble has become a symbol of Southern pride.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Hm. I used to call you the greatest newspaper, but now you've criticized the Administration. Keep it up and I may have to knock you down to just great.

[Donerail]

Hm. I used to call you the greatest newspaper, but now you've criticized The Administration. Keep it up and I may have to knock you down to just great.

"That damn free press has criticized an aspect of our glorious reign! Covert strike authorized on newspaper headquarters! That'll teach those reporter types to think twice about criticizing us!"

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Hm. I used to call you the greatest newspaper, but now you've criticized The Administration. Keep it up and I may have to knock you down to just great.

"That damn free press has criticized an aspect of our glorious reign! Covert strike authorized on newspaper headquarters! That'll teach those reporter types to think twice about criticizing us!"

Hey, you want the press secretary job? You'd be a perfect fit.

But yeah, Fuzzy handled it badly.

[Donerail]

Hm. I used to call you the greatest newspaper, but now you've criticized The Administration. Keep it up and I may have to knock you down to just great.

"That damn free press has criticized an aspect of our glorious reign! Covert strike authorized on newspaper headquarters! That'll teach those reporter types to think twice about criticizing us!"

Hey, you want the press secretary job? You'd be a perfect fit.

But yeah, Fuzzy handled it badly.

If I had that job... "Yes, the administration is fully in favor of protecting the rights of gun owners... An aide has just informed me that administration policy is actually to support gun control."

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

Thanks for letting me poll for you guys.  Drop me a message when ever you need one.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Hm. I used to call you the greatest newspaper, but now you've criticized The Administration. Keep it up and I may have to knock you down to just great.

"That damn free press has criticized an aspect of our glorious reign! Covert strike authorized on newspaper headquarters! That'll teach those reporter types to think twice about criticizing us!"

Hey, you want the press secretary job? You'd be a perfect fit.

But yeah, Fuzzy handled it badly.

If I had that job... "Yes, the administration is fully in favor of protecting the rights of gun owners... An aide has just informed me that administration policy is actually to support gun control."

Exactly. Have you read 1984? It's like that.

[tmthforu94]

Mideast Affairs

Reporting on the Mideast Region at The Porcupine

Assembly Race Shaping Up To Be A Doozy!

In the upcoming July Assembly elections, there are currently 7 declared candidates for the Mideast Assembly! Here is a brief bio on each of the candidates.

Inks.LWC - Inks has served the Mideast region for many years, serving as Governor, Senator, and Assemblyman. He is a member of Mideast Citizens for Progress Reform. He is an incumbment.

Happy Warrior - HappyWarrior is considered to be the most liberal member of the current Assembly. Like Inks, he has served the region for years. He is also a member of the Mideast Citizens for Progress and Reform, and currently serves as Speaker.

RogueBeaver - RogueBeaver was recently appointed by Governor ZuWo to replace A-Bob on the Assembly. He has yet to become active in Assembly affairs, but has announced his decision to seek reelection. He is a member of the Whig Party.

JCL - JCL is also a member of the Whig Party. He won an election to the Assembly in March, only to lose reelection in May. He gave Senator Ben a run for his money in the June 2012 Senatorial election, but ultimately fell short.

20RP12 - 20RP12, also known as Jake Matthews, is fairly new to the region, but not to the game. He has an impressive record of service in the Mideast Region, and currently serves as SoIA. He has long been considered one of Atlasia's most active members. He is a member of MCPR.

Oldiesfreak1854 - Oldiesfreak1854 is a member of the Whig Party. He announced his candidacy early, and has released a platform, which includes that he is pro-life, against gay marriage, and supports lower tax rates. We encourage this candidate to unlock his platform, so individuals may comment and learn more about this candidate.

Idaho BlueDogDem - Idaho Blue Dog Dem is a member of MCPR. He classifies himself as right leaning on economics and left leaning on social issues. He has opened a campaign office, but hasn't started an active campaign.


Tmthforu94 has announced that MCPR will be hosting a debate, and all candidates are expected to participate. This debate will give voters a better chance to learn about their candidates. At present time, the Porcupine predicts that Inks and HappyWarrior will both return to the Assembly, but believes the final 3 seats are entirely up for grabs.

Polling Update: The race for Governor in September 2012 has started very early this year. Governor ZuWo announced approximately one week ago that he would be seeking reelection. Soon after, former President Tmthforu94 announced he was forming an exploratory committee for the office. The first poll, done by A-Bob Research, had Tmthforu94 narrowly defeating the incumbment. Scott Survey's is currently conducting another poll on the race.

[CatoMinor]

Thanks for letting me poll for you guys.  Drop me a message when ever you need one.

The Porcupine is proud to welcome you to the team

[California8429]

Hurray for activity!!!!!!! I wish I could join the fray, but with so many new and old candidates the next Assembly will be great.

[tmthforu94]

Hurray for activity!!!!!!! I wish I could join the fray, but with so many new and old candidates the next Assembly will be great.

Keep us updated on your quest to find the perfect college. I'm looking forward to your decision.

[CatoMinor]

Atlasia vs The Imperial Dominion of the South: Feds win Battle, IDS winning the war.

Recently the Supreme Court struck down section 2 of the IDS's Trojan Act in an effort on the Federal Government's part to kill the dibble, gold and silver coins privately produced that no one is forced to accept as payment of debts, but may do so if they chose. In the time since then the IDS Legislature struck back by passing a new law, Imperial Advertisement and Activity Augmentation Act which essentially brings back the struck down section 2 of the Trojan Act but is crafted with the lessons learned of the court case. One crucial argument made in the case was that because there was no prior mention of the dibble before the law, the IDS must have created the dibble. However with the dibble being in existence for over a year now and still privately produced that argument can no longer work against this new law.

Emperor PiT had this to say:

You must be logged in to read this quote.

The new version passed the Legislature 3-1. The only nay vote against the pro-Southern legislation was the self proclaimed champion of southern people, Representative Duke. Earlier Duke also voted against allowing all southerners to vote.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

ZuWo Takes Edge In First ScottSurveys Poll

Mideast Governor ZuWo (Whig-KY) initially appeared to be in trouble in a previous survey, but our latest ScottSurveys poll shows the incumbent leading his opponent 10 to 6, garnering 62.5% of the vote to former Vice President Tmthforu94's 37.5%.

However, though Governor ZuWo currently has the edge in this race, that four vote advantage could swing either way down the long road to Election Day.

You must be logged in to read this quote.

However, not all Mideastern residents are convinced of these numbers.  Says one constituent,

Whig poll spammers just like the Senate race.

ScottSurveys currently ranks this race as Lean Whig.

[CatoMinor]

Slavery: The crusade to ban slavery continues.

Senator Scott is pushing forward the effort the rid this great nation of an evil. Time after time a majority of Senators are shockingly in favor of allowing conscription, essentially military slavery. Though a flat out ban on conscription seems unlikely, Senator Scott has produced a an amendment to make it extremely difficult to allow.

AN AMENDMENT

To protect Atlasian citizens from compulsory conscription by requiring four-fiths approval of the Senate for its enactment.

Be it enacted by 2/3 of the Senate of the Republic of Atlasia assembled.

SECTION 1. TITLE

This act may be cited as the 'Protection From Military Slavery Amendment.’

SECTION 2. CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT

Neither shall the Republic of Atlasia nor any of its constituent regions enforce compulsory conscription upon any citizen, without the consent of four-fifths of the Senate.

The Porcupine would like readers to know it is our official position that slavery is immoral and needs to DIAF. For that reason we support this Amendment. We at the Porcupine would like to ask our fellow paper The People to join with us in our stand against slavery. 

[Oakvale]

Mr. Editor,

In relation to our earlier conversation, I feel compelled to present a formal notice of my resignation. While I was not yet certain of my future in the game at the time you hired me, I have since, with a heavy heart, decided to retire from Atlasia, as evidenced by my current registration. My apologies for any inconvenience, but I am perhaps not ideologically suited to the editorial slant of this fine publication regardless. I resign my position.

Regretfully,



Former Associate Justice, Senator, Governor, Presidential candidate, journalist, current drinker of alcohol and beach lounger.

[CatoMinor]

En memoriam
Oakvale left The Porcupine
Forever missed

[tmthforu94]

Mideast Affairs

Reporting on the Mideast Region at The Porcupine

AssPolling Updates!

We have some polling updates to give you in the region!

Assembly Race:
Assemblyman Inks.LWC (MCPR) - 9
Speaker HappyWarrior (MCPR) - 6
Assemblyman RogueBeaver (Whig) - 6
Idaho Blue Dog Dem (MCPR - 3
Former Assemblyman JCL (Whig) - 5
SoIA 20RP12 (MCPR) - 7
Oldiesfreak1854 (Whig) - 6

Total Voters: 14

In our recent Assembly poll, only 1 candidate has more than 50% of Mideasterners putting them in their Top 5, which suggests a photo-finish race in the region.

At this time, the Porcupine projects based off polling that only Inks is safe in his bid for the Assembly race. The last 4 spots are up for grabs, though we believe 20RP12 and HappyWarrior are favored for 2 of them. The Porcupine will conduct another poll before the Assembly elections later this month.


We also polled the approvals of our government officials:
Governor ZuWo - 77%
Assemblyman HappyWarrior - 77%
Assemblyman RogueBeaver - 73%
Assemblyman Inks - 83%
Judge Franzl - 90%

All officials have high approvals - no surprise here.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

Northeast Government Approval Ratings

A recent ScottSurveys poll found that Northeast residents are generally happy with their governing officials, but Rep. Mondale84 (Lib-NJ) and CJO Belgiansocialist (Ind. Labor-NY) struggle with significant voter discontent.

The results of the survey are as follows:

You must be logged in to read this quote.

It appears that Rep. Mondale84 could be in some serious trouble heading into next month's midterm election, when leftist and rightist Northeasterners battle for control of the Assembly.

On top of that, Governor Nix might want to consider tapping someone else for CJO when Mr. Belgiansocialist's tenure is up.  Belgiansocialist is famously known for his unsuccessful Senate campaign and advocacy for former presidential candidate Boss Tweed in the recent Supreme Court case.  Some suspect that these factors may have contributed to his low numbers this week.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

En memoriam
Oakvale left The Porcupine
Forever missed

You can't write haikus
Four syllables in line 3
Silly paperboy.