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[Donerail]

Thanks for the job, Jbrase! I'll get started right away. I've made a Wiki article!

[Donerail]

The Imperial Herald

Reporting on Imperial matters for The Porcupine

Here's Where Sh*t Stands - Post-Yelnoc Edition

The IDS is still reeling from the retirement of Speaker Yelnoc. Yelnoc, who served as speaker for upwards of 20 months, was an institution in the IDS Legislature and performed his duties admirably. The Imperial Bloc also lost its founder; the Bloc is the foremost advocate of the IDS in all matters, and shall hopefully continue in that role despite the loss of Yelnoc.


With Yelnoc's retirement, a space in the IDS Legislature, as well as the Speakership of that illustrious body, opened. Legislator Jbrase did declare for Speaker and, with no opponents, was confirmed by acclamation. Emperor PiT appointed Secretary of External Affairs SJoyceFla to the open spot in the Legislature, his second appointment in almost as many days (BritishDixie was appointed to the Legislature following the resignation of Vice President-elect Kalwejt).


Yelnoc's departure also opened up vacancies in the leadership of the Imperial Bloc. Vice Chairman Jbrase has assumed the mantle of Acting Chairman, a position he will maintain until the next convention. He has appointed SJoyceFla to fill his position as Vice Chairman.


In recent days, the IDS Legislature has:

• Prohibited oil drilling within 10.5 nautical miles of the shoreline (by a 4-1 vote)
• Changed the name of the Special Prosecutor (one who defends the IDS in court) to Defender of the Realm (by a 4-1 vote).
• Discussed the Southern Unity Act, which would extend voting privileges in IDS elections to Southerners outside of the IDS (bill withdrawn by sponsor)
• Discussed an act designed to increase activity and participation through better advertising the IDS

The IDS Legislature shall address in the coming days:

• Three acts introduced by Jbrase altering the Imperial flag, naming system, and other such things
• An act designed to protect our citizens from Satan by banning license plates with more than two sixes
• A bill that would lead to the IDS colonizing a portion of Antarctica

Senate Update: The Senate is currently debating the Protection of Legal Regional Functions Act, which would help constrain the ability of the federal government to restrict the legal functions of the regions. This bill would be a great advancement for regional rights, and Southerners should give their support to it.


Court Update: The Supreme Court is currently formulating their ruling in the case of Atlasia v. IDS. A ruling should be expected "soon", according to Chief Justice Ebowed. The Court is rather busy, given the concurrent case of Boss Tweed v. Department of Federal Elections, which is the most likely reason for the delay.


Polling Update: According to a new poll from the Survey Atlasia polling corporation, regional Senator NC Yankee of the Imperial Bloc has a 100% approval rating, which is the same percentage he was elected by. According to concurrent polling from the same corporation, At-Large Senator Clarence has a remarkably high 81% approval rating, and Emperor PiT has an 83% approval rating.

[Donerail]

The Imperial Herald

Reporting on Imperial matters for The Porcupine

We're Not Beaten

It was with hope mingled with fear that I consulted my computer this morning to read the Court's opinion. I felt an ominous gloom during the "Statement of Facts", when Chief Justice Ebowed interpreted the Trojan Act to be named after Troy, rather than the contraceptive brand. That gloom multiplied till the first sentence proper of the decision, which filled me with disappointment. "It is the opinion of this Court that Section 2 of the Trojan Act is in clear violation of Article I, Section 7, Clause 2"; in other words, the Court has struck down the (clearly Constitutional in the minds of the people of the South, if not the eyes of the Court) Trojan Act.

Some may claim it is now over. Some may say that "The Dibble is done for, there shall never be another." These people are wrong. Although this decision is certainly a step back for the future of free enterprise, it does not stop the Dibble. Sure, you can't get your Dibbles exchanged at your state capitol building now. Sure, the IDS cannot accept it. But you can still get them, you can still buy them, and they're still usable. We may have lost this battle, but the war's not over yet. With the Dibble now established and pre-existing for a year tomorrow, AG Fuzzy cannot win a second case fought on those grounds, and with the government facilities shut down, that plank of the case goes out the window too. We are not beaten, we have not given up, and we shall continue to fight!

IDS Legislator SJoyceFla serves as the IDS Correspondent for The Porcupine

[Donerail]

Hm. I used to call you the greatest newspaper, but now you've criticized The Administration. Keep it up and I may have to knock you down to just great.

"That damn free press has criticized an aspect of our glorious reign! Covert strike authorized on newspaper headquarters! That'll teach those reporter types to think twice about criticizing us!"

[Donerail]

Hm. I used to call you the greatest newspaper, but now you've criticized The Administration. Keep it up and I may have to knock you down to just great.

"That damn free press has criticized an aspect of our glorious reign! Covert strike authorized on newspaper headquarters! That'll teach those reporter types to think twice about criticizing us!"

Hey, you want the press secretary job? You'd be a perfect fit.

But yeah, Fuzzy handled it badly.

If I had that job... "Yes, the administration is fully in favor of protecting the rights of gun owners... An aide has just informed me that administration policy is actually to support gun control."

[Donerail]

Editorial

     So as many of you may be seeing in the New Register Thread, there have been some disturbing trends of migration to the IDS recently. Instead of the inflow of reliable, contributing, well-meaning citizens, we've been having immigration of a far more sinister sort. Members of the Labor Party have concocted a nefarious plot to infiltrate our glorious region, which they are calling "Operation Cottonfield", which shall lead to nothing less that the complete takeover of the governmental functions of the IDS and institution of a socialist regime in Memphis. It began with current IDS Legislator Adam Griffin, but was truly instituted by Northeast Speaker and Lieutenant Governor Alfred F. Jones, who has used his mechanisms to increase the size of the Labor Party in the IDS by 200%, with the installation of former Senator Seatown and Associate Justice Opebo, both known socialists, in the IDS. This potential takeover could mean that the Government of the IDS could fall from its current state of fiscal responsibility into the dark slums of crushing debt.

Labor Party recruitment poster for the invasion of the IDS

     This invasion must be resisted by all means necessary. We cannot allow the Labor Party to seize control of the Imperial Dominion of the South. Good Imperial citizens should take what actions they can to prevent the red menace from infiltrating their communities. We can and will prevent our region from falling to socialist control; while the good people of the Mideast appear to be alright, the Midwest has fallen, the Northeast is severely threatened, and the Pacific (while appearing to possibly be on the verge of a counterrevolution) is still in Labor's hands. They cannot extent their grasp to a majority of the regions; if they do, with 4 regional Senators as well as however many at-large seats they can get, they could very well pass any Constitutional amendment they wanted. The Internationale would be the anthem of our nation, and the red flag that of our nation. This is not the Atlasia we want. Resist this invasion! Counterattack into the Pacific! Stop the red menace!




Editorial cartoon. Saying: An edgy newspaper is a well-read newspaper.

[Donerail]

Breaking
According to sources, the Labor conspiracy to conquer the IDS and install their own regime was not instituted by Alfred F. Jones. Speculation suggests it was masterminded by a key Labor figure, who utilized IDS Legislator Adam Griffin as an inside man in the region to help the takeover go smoothly.

[Donerail]

Also, this was incorrect:

You must be logged in to read this quote.

How'd it increase by 300%? If we assume it started with 1 (you) and is now at 3 (you, Seatown, Opebo), then that's 200%. If it started at nothing and ended with 3, that's a ... ∞% increase and I have a new thing to shout about!

Labor in the IDS has grown by ∞% in the last few months!
Also, further stuff: the Laborites don't even swear oaths like the rest of us! Compare.

You must be logged in to read this quote.

You must be logged in to read this quote.

[Donerail]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

How'd it increase by 300%? If we assume it started with 1 (you) and is now at 3 (you, Seatown, Opebo), then that's 200%. If it started at nothing and ended with 3, that's a ... ∞% increase and I have a new thing to shout about!

Labor in the IDS has grown by ∞% in the last few months!
Also, further stuff: the Laborites don't even swear oaths like the rest of us! Compare.

You must be logged in to read this quote.

[/quote]

1 x 300% = 3
[/quote]

That's multiplication; it's a percent increase, so an increase from '1' to '3' is an increase of 2, and 2 is 200% of what you started with. So the increase was 200% of what you started with.

[Donerail]

Mr. Joyce, how do you pronounce "[/"?

'albɪn

[Donerail]

Interview with Senator Ben (MCPR-ME)

SJoyceFla, IDS Correspondent for The Porcupine (working outside his jurisdiction), sat down with Senator Ben today in an exclusive interview to ask him about his work in the Senate, his time as SoEA, his opinion on current going-ons in Atlasian politics, his re-election, and much more...


The Porcupine: Could you outline your specific position on Clarence's Iran resolution? Why do you believe what you do?

Ben: I fully support Clarence's resolution.  I believe the Atlasian Government should never rule out military force, especially when it comes to a threat like Iran.

The Porcupine: What qualifications for office do you have that would make you a better choice than 20RP12?

Ben: For one thing, experience.  I've built a record in the Senate that I am extremely proud of, including the creation of the Committee on National Security.  I've also been a leader in the debates on many major pieces of legislation, as well as a near perfect record of activity.

The Porcupine: You wear a red avatar yet represent the Mideast, a relatively conservative region. How do you represent your beliefs as well as those of your constituents?

Ben: For one, I myself am a moderate.  I'm not a crazy left winger like Redalgo.  When I disagree with the citizens of my region, it's respected because my constituents know I truly believe in my votes, and never vote for political gain.  And remember, my predecessor was just as, if not more, liberal than I am.  The Mideast cares about a candidate's ability and willingness to work more than ideology.

The Porcupine: You've described the current President as a "petty, antagonistic jerk with a penchant for personal vendettas" and "more personally vindictive than Liberas ever was", and that "his personality is one of the worst on the forum". How do you reconcile this with your apparent support of his presidency?

Ben: Yikes.  Honestly, having worked with Napoleon closely the last few months, I've seen a different side of him.  He's become much easier to work with than he ever was before.  And he has been an excellent President, working well with the Senate and being far more willing to compromise than I thought he'd be.  I'm happy to endorse him for reelection.

The Porcupine: Do you support former Secretary Kalwejt's attempts to negotiate with Iran?

Ben: I do, although I am pessimistic about the chances of success.

The Porcupine: You were SoEA for many years. What is your opinion of your successors in the office?

Ben: Well, it's been a small sample size, but I approve so far.  Both of my successors have worked hard, both in terms of generating stories and working with the Senate.  And I expect Cathcon to be just as successful.

The Porcupine: How do you respond to charges that you are a 'moderate hero' (including being mentioned in the Wiki article on said term)?

Ben: I didn't know I was mentioned in the wiki; that's interesting.  The charge had merit once, but I feel it no longer does.

The Porcupine: *Softball question alert* Which job do you prefer, SoEA or Senator, and why?

Ben: As much as I loved being SoEA, there's more power being a Senator.  As SoEA I could only do so much; I depended on the Senate to act.  As a Senator I can influence national policy to a much greater degree.  So, it's the Senator position, by a close margin.

The Porcupine: What do you think your chances are in the October election? Do you feel threatened by 20RP12's candidacy?

Ben: I'm optimistic. I feel like I've done a good job representing the Mideast, and have lived up to expectations. Jake, however, is a strong opponent, and I intend to vigorously campaign for the job.

The Porcupine: What do you think have been the major accomplishments of your term? What legislation would you like to introduce if you're re-elected?

Ben: Hard to say.  Obviously the creation of the NSC is a point of personal pride.  Much like the Senators in the US I admire, I don't care so much about legislation bearing my name; rather, I care about passing the important bills.  If I'm reelected I want to work with the incoming President, first and foremost.  Education is an issue near and dear to my heart, so I'll look into ways to pursue that issue as well.

The Porcupine: Would you consider running for President again? I recall the Ben/SJoyce ticket got a not-inconsequential amount of attention in June.

Ben: I'd consider it, certainly.  But I like my current job, and the incumbent President is doing a fine job as is.

The Porcupine: How would you combat unemployment, which according to the GM's numbers isn't dropping (at least in specific regions)?

Ben: I firmly believe that we need to fix our infrastructure.  Thus, fixing our infrastructure will enable us to also create jobs.  In addition, I am a supporter of harsher penalties for outsourcers, and incentives to keep jobs here.  At a national or regional levels, these are solid solutions.

The Porcupine: What do you view as possible on a federal level to improve education?

Ben: I think we should develop a new set of standards, as well as incentivize teachers to stay on the job. This is a significant issue, and I hope to work with the GM and the Administration on finding solutions.


Thanks for the interview!

[Donerail]

Senator Ben (MCPR-ME)

VA*

SE/IDS=IDS
ME=Mideast
MW=Midwest
PA=Pacific
NE=Northeast