Another linguistic question

[Bogart]

It seems to me that the final line could read simply, "The sardine wants the tin opened toward the sea," or, "The sardine wants the tin opened to the sea." While perhaps not gramatically correct, in the poetic sense the "to be" is understood, IMHO.

[lidaker]

I wouldn't get rid of all mention of teeth in the second line as without it, it doesn't make it clear what is being brushed.  It could be teeth with toothpaste, a car with paste wax,  or a piece of paper with adhesive paste.  Indeed, without context, I'd interpret it as the last of the three.

True, thanks.

You must be logged in to read this quote.

The original word could mean both, but in this context I think it should be translated as lie in.

[lidaker]

It seems to me that the final line could read simply, "The sardine wants the tin opened toward the sea," or, "The sardine wants the tin opened to the sea." While perhaps not gramatically correct, in the poetic sense the "to be" is understood, IMHO.

Seems like a smooth solution. Removes the clumsiness of the line while keeping the originial meaning. Great! I think I'll choose the second option - it sounds better.

[lidaker]

NEW VERSION

The sardine on the subway

I don't want to wash myself with that soap.
I don't want to brush my teeth with that toothpaste.
I don't want to lie in that sofa bed.
I feel no need for that toilet paper.
I'm not interested in that insurance.
I won't switch to another cigarette brand.
I don't feel like watching that movie.
I refuse to get off at Skärholmen.

The sardine wants the tin opened to the sea.

By Werner Aspenström, from In the meantime (1972)

- - -

Is it OK? Is "wash myself" acceptable or should it be only "wash"?

- - -

SCANDINAVIAN VERSION (to Jens)

Sardinen på tunnelbanan

Jag vill inte tvätta mig med den där tvålen.
Jag vill inte borsta mig med den där tandkrämen.
Jag vill inte ligga i den där bäddsoffan.
Jag känner inget behov av det där toilettpapperet.
Jag är inte intresserad av den där försäkringen.
Jag tänker inte övergå till ett annat cigarrettmärke.
Jag har ingen lust att se den där filmen.
Jag vägrar stiga av vid Skärholmen.

Sardinen vill att burken öppnas emot havet.

Av Werner Aspenström, ur Under tiden (1972)

[Gabu]

Is it OK? Is "wash myself" acceptable or should it be only "wash"?

Both mean basically the same thing; one's just shorter than the other.  If it works better regarding poetic rhythm to insert "myself", go for it.

[angus]

They come in a tin, damn it! Cans require an opener whereas a tin has that nifty little key to open those stinky little fish right up after you cut yourself first!

lidaker,

Note how NewFederalist uses "cut yourself" 

see the emphasis?!

This is exactly why you should say "wash myself"


Spanish and French have these 'reflexive verbs' such as irse and masturbarse, for example.  In english, we have to construct them from scratch, just like in all the Germanic languages.  So, yeah, go for it, as in:  Wash yourself, you dirty bastard!  (compare this to:  "Wash, you dirty bastard!"  See the difference?!)

"lavarte, cabron, lavarte!"
    --Comandante Che Guevara

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

English has also lost the difference between transitive and intransitive verbs in general so that it can only be told from context whether a verb is one or the other.  Of course such differences are not needed in larguages that use word order instead of endings to determine the case of nouns and adjectives.

[lidaker]

They come in a tin, damn it! Cans require an opener whereas a tin has that nifty little key to open those stinky little fish right up after you cut yourself first!

lidaker,

Note how NewFederalist uses "cut yourself" 

see the emphasis?!

This is exactly why you should say "wash myself"


Spanish and French have these 'reflexive verbs' such as irse and masturbarse, for example.  In english, we have to construct them from scratch, just like in all the Germanic languages.  So, yeah, go for it, as in:  Wash yourself, you dirty bastard!  (compare this to:  "Wash, you dirty bastard!"  See the difference?!)

"lavarte, cabron, lavarte!"
    --Comandante Che Guevara

Yep. We construct them from scratch in Sweden too.

wash oneself = tvätta sig
better oneself = förbättra sig
etc.

Long live the Interatlantic Reflexive Verbs from Scratch Alliance!

[lidaker]

I asked an American who also knows Swedish about this, and he wanted the last line to read like this:

"The sardine wants the tin opened onto the sea."

Case closed?

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

Depending upon the exact meaning of the original, I could see "to", "on", "onto", "toward(s)", or "unto" as all being legitimate interpretations.  The choice of preposition would make subtle changes in the meaning, but all of them would be consistent with the sense of the poem as you have translated it, but as for which would be most faithful to the original poem, I can't say, since I don't know Swedish.