PEI Game

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Might I have Grenville?

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Excellent. Then I shall henceforth be known by the style and title of homelycooking, Provost of Grenville.

(It's not a big deal, Teddy, but could you correct the spelling of my name on your territory map? Provosts do not appreciate the misspelling of their most honorable and majestic names. )

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The Most Honorable and Majestic homelycooking, Provost of Grenville, offers his salutations to the various senators and leaders of the parishes of God's most glorious island. It is his sincere hope that through common cause we may gain lasting victory over the deleterious effects of ignorance, famine and insularity.

Taking up the major causes of concern for the good people of Grenville, then, the Provost wishes to express his support for the proposal that the administrative functions of the Government of Prince Edward Island be moved to the town of Breadalbane. It is in the interest of the entire island to have a capital located in a central location such as Lot 67 of Grenville, and the Provost is willing to offer any and all support to efforts moving in such a direction.

Second, it is imperative that the industrious yeoman farmers of Grenville be permitted a more convenient outlet for the sundry agricultural products of the parish. The Provost expresses his indignancy that the most fertile parish on the island has no outlet to the sea, and believes that the construction of a wharf and new rail line along the northern coast of the island running from Princeton to Charlottetown and passing through New London, Cavendish and Rustico would allow trade to flow more freely, permitting a newfound prosperity to pervade the island.

Third, the Provost is willing to allow the extant rail line currently passing through Hunter River to bypass the town and proceed straight from North Wiltshire to Breadalbane, in exchange for the aforementioned coastal link and necessary provisions for the economic well-being of Hunter River.

The Provost invites all other noble leaders of this most glorious island to confer with him so that the best possible solutions for our people may be arrived at.

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The Chancellor's rhetoric is reasonable and well informed, and the Provost does not feel that the relocation of the island's capitol to Breadalbane needs to be a critical issue of concern, as economic inequities are much more relevant to the current condition of the island. After all, the good people of Grenville Parish care about the price of their wheat and barley, not obscure political machinations. It is the Provost's desire to facilitate trade between the people of our parishes, and would prefer the town of Breadalbane to be a prosperous economic trading city rather than an admittedly small (in population), landlocked political capitol.

The Provost wishes to propose that any funding provided by the national coffers be equitably distributed among the parishes. As such, he would support a bridge spanning the Hillsborough River if it were contained in an omnibus transportation package that adequately addresses transportation deficiencies across the entire island. This package should include the Provost's proposal to re-route the railway passing through Hunter River, as the dangerously steep grade on the only link between the island's East and West threatens commerce between the parishes. 

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The Provost would also like to request an explicit deliniation of the powers relegated to various governmental bodies.

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The Provost authorizes the dispatch of surveyors to the North Coast of Grenville Parish for the purpose of determining whether a wharf may be built on Grenville Bay and the cost and placement of a highway that would take the place of a North Coast link heretofore proposed.

The Provost wishes to thank the Chancellor for his magnanimous offer of a ferry service along the north coast of the island. However, the people of Grenville are averse to such a mode of transportation, as they fear the loss of their produce to the storms and vicious currents which plague the northern seas. They prefer the construction of railroads, or at the least good highways, to aid the transport of their goods.

The Provost is appalled at the disservice Reeve Lance has done to his Charlotte Parish. He wishes to make it known throughout the parish that an active parish government such as his or the Chancellor of Bedford's or the Duke of Hillsborough's is better equipped to deal with the local concerns of the people than a hermit who is necessarily disconnected, by the nature of his residence, from the needs of his parishoners.

Furthermore, the town of Rustico, located along the north coast, is closer to the Grenville Parish town of Cavendish than any other Charlotte Parish town, and can be more easily linked with Breadalbane than the town of Cornwall. If Lot 24 is willing to join with Grenville Parish, then the Provost is willing to treat the people of the Lot as equals and advocate accordingly for its welfare as a recluse cannot do. The Provost therefore approves of the Chancellor's plan to reappropriate the lots of Charlotte for the purpose of better governance.

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I propose to him the reunification of Charlotte Town and Parish- with the Deputy Senator to be my own Deputy, of course with an increased salary. The Reeve can maintain his title, if he desires, and serve as the administrator of the non-urban sections of the combined parish.

Nonetheless, the Provost's assertion that Lot 24 is more easily incorporated within Grenville than a combined Charlotte parish (which the Provost does not object to, owing to the Mayor of Charlottetown's reknown for fair governance) remains lucid and relevant. A look at a map of the island shows clearly the geographic disconnect between Lot 24 and the other lots of Charlotte Parish and that Rustico is closer to any town in Grenville than Charlottetown. However, the Provost does not desire conflict and would not dare infringe upon the sovereignty of another parish. He only wishes to make the facts universally apparent so that the people of Charlotte may seek an enlightened self-determination.

The Provost is eager to acquire a map of roads, tracks and cartpaths on the island so that his decisions regarding transportation may become even more informed.

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In light of the honorable Chancellor's concerns regarding the Charlotte Parish/Charlottetown, the Provost would like to reassert that any dissolution of the Charlotte Parish government must result in the power most fit to govern having dominion over particular lots and towns. The Provost asserts that Grenville would indubitably be most able to govern Lot 24 and Rustico, while the Chancellor is most able to govern Lot 34 and York. If the Duke of Hillsborough so desires, he would be also be entitled to annex Lot 32 and Cornwall upon the dissolution of the government. In the Provost's eyes, any attempt to seize these towns by the Charlottetown government will be viewed as imperialist and bellicose.

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The Provost rejoins that unless the honorable Mayor of Charlottetown is prepared to extend a long rail or highway link to the town of Rustico, it cannot reasonably claim to be interested in its welfare, though the Provost believes that the highest judge in the Charlotte Parish case should be the parishoners themselves. Therefore, the Provost proposes that a referendum be held within the parish of Charlotte in which all able-minded and property-holding men will be given the opportunity to express their opinions as to whether they would wish to join the Parishes of Grenville, Bedford, Charlottetown or Hillsborough should the government of Charlotte dissolve. The Provost believes this to be a reasonable proposal and pledges to abide by the parishioners' decisions, as he hopes other governments will.

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The boundaries of Lot 36 shall be readjusted as follows: The Hillsborough River on the north, the Lot 48 border on the west and south, and the Lot 37 border on the east.

While I do agree with this proposal, I believe you are free to handle the issue internally. In fact, I am sure we would all agree that allowing Senators authority to redraw the lines in other's parishes to be a potentially dangerous precedent.

The Provost is fully in agreement with the Mayor of Charlottetown, and while he does not object to the Chancellor's reorganization scheme, he would be tempted to abstain from any vote on it in the Senate.

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The Provost rejoins that unless the honorable Mayor of Charlottetown is prepared to extend a long rail or highway link to the town of Rustico, it cannot reasonably claim to be interested in its welfare, though the Provost believes that the highest judge in the Charlotte Parish case should be the parishoners themselves. Therefore, the Provost proposes that a referendum be held within the parish of Charlotte in which all able-minded and property-holding men will be given the opportunity to express their opinions as to whether they would wish to join the Parishes of Grenville, Bedford, Charlottetown or Hillsborough should the government of Charlotte dissolve. The Provost believes this to be a reasonable proposal and pledges to abide by the parishioners' decisions, as he hopes other governments will.

While their elected leaders already hold the power to represent them, I do agree to the formality of a vote, albeit with one caveat: there would be no "dissolution" of Charlotte should its former borders be restored, it would simply be a merger and union between its existing government and my city government.

The Provost, accounting for the Chancellor of Bedford's recent proposal, would prefer that no change be made to the current government of Charlotte Parish or its borders should a more competent replacement for Reeve Lance be installed. He wishes to clarify further that the aforementioned referendum would not be binding and serve only as a check on any of our imperial tendencies, and would take place only if the Reeve is stripped of his title and any change in government structure for Charlotte Parish is proposed.

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The Provost authorizes the dispatch of surveyors to the North Coast of Grenville Parish for the purpose of determining whether a wharf may be built on Grenville Bay and the cost and placement of a highway that would take the place of a North Coast link heretofore proposed.

The Provost is eager to acquire a map of roads, tracks and cartpaths on the island so that his decisions regarding transportation may become even more informed.

As intriguing as this debate is, the Provost must attend to the welfare of his people and seeks a report as to the progress of the survey.

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The Provost votes, on behalf of Grenville Parish:

Aye to Reapportionment
Aye to Currency Exchange Rate Proposal

Judgment on the Chancellor's amendment to the Commerce and Transport proposal will be withheld until tomorrow, as the Provost is greatly fatigued from his demanding daily schedule of debates and personal coercions.

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In light of the opinion polling conducted, the Provost feels that the Reeve of Charlotte, having clearly won over the vast majority of his citizens, ought to remain as his parish's leader. The Provost wishes to point out, however, that polling results may have varied among the lots and it is not clear whether the voters' disapproval is concentrated in one lot or spread evenly throughout the parish. The Provost inquires as to the existence of more in-depth polling results.

The Provost joins the Chancellor of Bedford in expressing his concern as to the state of governance in Princeton. Commander Rupert should be contacted forthwith and permitted to explain the peculiar state of his town.

The Provost believes that, in the interest of intra-island trade, the national and parish governments should endeavour to connect all towns on the island without reliable roads to their parish capitals. He therefore proposes the following:

Roads shall be constructed to connect all towns currently reliant upon poor-quality paths and tracks to the nearest town with a highway of sufficient quality for commerce and general transportation, at a cost shared equally by the Parishes in which the roads shall be constructed and the provincial government.

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If the citizens of Charlotte are content without an equal voice in the Senate, then I no longer call for Reeve Lance's removal. I share the Provost's concerns about whether dissatifaction is concentrated in one spot or spread evenly around the parish, and his call for more in-depth results. To that end, I propose to the Honourable Provost that his Parish and mine jointly fund an independent committee to conduct such polling in the individual Lots, particularly Lots 24 and 34. I stress that such a committee would be independent, and not acting on behalf of any government.

The Provost would enthusiastically support a joint-funded independent poll for the purpose of determining lot by lot and town by town where the people's allegiances lie. He feels that no government can rationally oppose such a poll if it is conducted fairly, for more accurate information can only serve to smother ignorance and inform our deliberations.

With regard to the Provost's road construction proposal, I propose that good roads be built to all towns, not only those with poor roads leading to them. It is ridiculous that towns the size of Cavendish and Rustico have no roads leading to them at all.

In principle, the Provost whole-heartedly supports this amendment. However, he believes that an analysis of the cost of building high quality roads to all towns on the island would be necessary at first, as such an expense could be beyond the means of certain Parish governments.

The Provost authorizes a group of engineers to assess the risk posed by the steep grade on the rail line passing through Hunter River, and awaits a report as to their findings.

The Provost also awaits the report of his surveyors' journey to Grenville Bay and their proposal, if any, for wharf construction on said bay.

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The Provost is also eager to make a donation for the spiritual well-being of the parishoners of Saint David, but transportation deficiencies within his own parish necessitate a tightening of the purse-strings. The Provost means no ill will to his most honorable neighbors in Saint David, and would gladly contribute more in the future, but at this time he is prepared only to contribute £2 toward a cathedral.

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I would be honoured to take the assignment for the good of all Christians in Princeton. Unless the King objects I shall make the arrangements to make the journay to town as soon as the conditions allow it. I will be needing a personal guard of five to assist and protect me on my way to Princeton and if the king apporves this mission.  

If the Bishop so desires, the Provost would gladly provide three of his sturdiest, most capable militiamen to protect His Grace on his journey.

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If the citizens of Charlotte are content without an equal voice in the Senate, then I no longer call for Reeve Lance's removal. I share the Provost's concerns about whether dissatifaction is concentrated in one spot or spread evenly around the parish, and his call for more in-depth results. To that end, I propose to the Honourable Provost that his Parish and mine jointly fund an independent committee to conduct such polling in the individual Lots, particularly Lots 24 and 34. I stress that such a committee would be independent, and not acting on behalf of any government.

The Provost would enthusiastically support a joint-funded independent poll for the purpose of determining lot by lot and town by town where the people's allegiances lie. He feels that no government can rationally oppose such a poll if it is conducted fairly, for more accurate information can only serve to smother ignorance and inform our deliberations.

With regard to the Provost's road construction proposal, I propose that good roads be built to all towns, not only those with poor roads leading to them. It is ridiculous that towns the size of Cavendish and Rustico have no roads leading to them at all.

In principle, the Provost whole-heartedly supports this amendment. However, he believes that an analysis of the cost of building high quality roads to all towns on the island would be necessary at first, as such an expense could be beyond the means of certain Parish governments.

The Provost authorizes a group of engineers to assess the risk posed by the steep grade on the rail line passing through Hunter River, and awaits a report as to their findings.

The Provost also awaits the report of his surveyors' journey to Grenville Bay and their proposal, if any, for wharf construction on said bay.

The Provost grows impatient at the inaction on his decrees, and fears that his loyal engineers and surveyors may have been devoured by the local fauna.

I would be honoured to take the assignment for the good of all Christians in Princeton. Unless the King objects I shall make the arrangements to make the journay to town as soon as the conditions allow it. I will be needing a personal guard of five to assist and protect me on my way to Princeton and if the king apporves this mission.  

  

You go, and, are met with the same roadblock.

The Provost has not heard from his three crack militiamen, Angus MacLeary, John Carlyle, and Matthew Tucker in some days. Honorable Bishop, are they with you?

The Provost also wishes to make known that his government, in hopes of exploiting the resources of his parish to the greatest extent possible, does offer a subsidy to any enterprising lad who wishes to till the most fertile soils of the parish. The Provost's government will share the cost of purchasing any unimproved parcel of land equally with the buyer for the remaining days of spring. However, the Provost reserves the right to deny this subsidy to speculators and non-resident landlords.

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You know what, I'm going to go to Princeton myself to see what the hell is going on over there.  This is getting way too weird.

I'm taking the whole damn militia with me, both the old Egmont and the Halifax.  That should be enough to scare those guards.

The Provost urgently inquires as to whether you will use force to seize the town if you are denied access. He would not approve of such an expedition if it is for the purpose of conquest, though he feels that the government of Princeton has clearly proven itself incapable of rule.

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The Provost is receptive to the idea of a single, non-convertible paper currency standard to replace the current scheme which is wreaking havoc upon our island's economy.

However, the Provost feels that a National Bank, if it is to be incorporated, must be devised in a way so as to grant to the interests of farmers and of rural parishes the right to veto any bank policies. The Provost recognizes the Mayor of Charlottetown's desire to promote and stabilize commerce, and shares it, but will not permit the farmers of this island to be overrun and subjugated by a Bank that could be reasonably expected to serve as a tool of speculators, industrialists and mercantilists.

Regarding the Princeton crisis, the Provost wishes to express his horror at the squalor and dysfunction of the town, and encourages the Director of Halifax and the Bishop of Saint David to use any means necessary short of siege and warfare to re-establish magnanimous Christian rule over the people of Princeton.

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The Provost wishes to inform the King that he is present, but growing somewhat impatient with inaction on the island.

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Teddy: you've got 48 hours. Otherwise, I'm out.

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We're still waiting, Teddy.

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sh**t. I'm sorry, Teddy. Would you like me (or someone else) to take over for you?

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Yes, yes, yes!

I can't wait to start calling myself "Provost" again! Even Vazdul stuck out the six months of waiting with "Chancellor" as his display name.