The Michael A. Naso Institute of Comedy

[Keystone Phil]

Funny for other reasons...

I was around 10, and she was swinging around the stick, and it hit me pretty strongly, I had a fair lump. She was my sister. Bitch.

[Platypus]

A true story, but in the first entendre

[Paul Kemp]

introduced my son to Top Gun last night

Was this his first encounter with homosexuality?

only if you assume it was his first Tom Cruise movie....but it was the cut version of Top Gun, so he was spared most of the sword fighting scenes

[Cincinnatus]

I think I'm going to call Phil a douche and Sam a f****t from now. I mean, they are factual statements after all.

This should be an interesting thread until the mods unlock or delete it..

[Paul Kemp]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

He's certainly wise to do it very carefully.  Definitely consult a doctor first, at least.

[Paul Kemp]

Her best feature is her massive mammaries, if you're into that sort of thing.

[Landslide Lyndon]

cue the violin music.

[Paul Kemp]

This is to scary. Please stop! Or please revise it to have Obama wear a bulletproof vest.

[Landslide Lyndon]

I opened this thread hoping to see some intellectual conversation, instead I find myself endorsing this cat for President.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Another gold from Blubb!

Barack Obama is the worst thing that ever happened to the Democratic party.  He should gracefully announce that he is not running, and the Democrats should not field a replacement.  If Democrats just concede the presidential election off the bat, then there will be more independents showing up for primaries and we can choose a somewhat sane Republican (Romney) over a crazy tea partier like Perry.

Obama should not run again, for the good of the nation and for the good of the party.  Why should the DNC spend billions of dollars propping up this failed Presidency.  Instead we should try to save seats in Congress and focus on winning it back in 2014.  If Obama wants to save American liberalism, he should do it.  He won't though because he is an egotist, if Democrats dropped below 100 seats in the House he wouldn't care as long as he was still President.  He's a maschosit who loves being scrwed over by the Republicans.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I'll admit this made me chuckle a bit, even if it is mind-numbingly stupid:

Literal interpretation is still a form of interpretation...

Jesus:  Yo, Nathan, buddy, please pass me the salt.

Nathan:  Here you go, my Lord, here's pepper.

Jesus:  Nathan, remember how I promised to throw you in the lake of fire last?

Nathan:  Yes, my Lord, you did.

Jesus:  You misinterpreted, for the First shall be Last, and the Last shall be First!

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

I'll admit this made me chuckle a bit, even if it is mind-numbingly stupid:

Literal interpretation is still a form of interpretation...

Jesus:  Yo, Nathan, buddy, please pass me the salt.

Nathan:  Here you go, my Lord, here's pepper.

Jesus:  Nathan, remember how I promised to throw you in the lake of fire last?

Nathan:  Yes, my Lord, you did.

Jesus:  You misinterpreted, for the First shall be Last, and the Last shall be First!

In the movie of jmfcstverse, Jesus is played by Arnold Schwarzenegger, and I'm apparently Timothy Spall or something.

And you know? I find it impossible to be offended by this.

[opebo]

I'll admit this made me chuckle a bit, even if it is mind-numbingly stupid:

Jesus:  Yo, Nathan, buddy, please pass me the salt.

Nathan:  Here you go, my Lord, here's pepper.

Jesus:  Nathan, remember how I promised to throw you in the lake of fire last?

Nathan:  Yes, my Lord, you did.

Jesus:  You misinterpreted, for the First shall be Last, and the Last shall be First!

In the movie of jmfcstverse, Jesus is played by Arnold Schwarzenegger, and I'm apparently Timothy Spall or something.

And you know? I find it impossible to be offended by this.

Guys, the reason this was funny is because it is mind-numbingly stupid.

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

In the movie of jmfcstverse, Jesus is played by Arnold Schwarzenegger, and I'm apparently Timothy Spall or something.

Timothy Spall?  I havent seen any of his movies, so I'm not comprehending your reference, but glad you understood mine.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

In the movie of jmfcstverse, Jesus is played by Arnold Schwarzenegger, and I'm apparently Timothy Spall or something.

Timothy Spall?  I havent seen any of his movies, so I'm not comprehending your reference, but glad you understood mine.

Timothy Spall has made a career of playing cowardly and odious minor villains in such films as the Harry Potter series, and also I think played Albert Pierrepoint at one point.

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

Timothy Spall has made a career of playing cowardly and odious minor villains in such films as the Harry Potter series, and also I think played Albert Pierrepoint at one point.

I havent seen any of the Harry Potter flicks, nor Lord of the Rings, nor Indiana Jones

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Timothy Spall has made a career of playing cowardly and odious minor villains in such films as the Harry Potter series, and also I think played Albert Pierrepoint at one point.

He actually made his career playing distinctly non-lovable losers (notably Barry in Auf Wiedersehen, Pet), before heading in that direction.

Also, his son drowns cats.

[bullmoose88]

Timothy Spall has made a career of playing cowardly and odious minor villains in such films as the Harry Potter series, and also I think played Albert Pierrepoint at one point.

Also, his son drowns cats.

Wait...what?

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Timothy Spall has made a career of playing cowardly and odious minor villains in such films as the Harry Potter series, and also I think played Albert Pierrepoint at one point.

Also, his son drowns cats.

Wait...what?

His son is also an actor. A character he played in a recent BBC drama half-drowned a cat as a threat. Can't seem to find a video or a picture of the moment in question, so this will have to do:

[bullmoose88]

Timothy Spall has made a career of playing cowardly and odious minor villains in such films as the Harry Potter series, and also I think played Albert Pierrepoint at one point.

Also, his son drowns cats.

Wait...what?

His son is also an actor. A character he played in a recent BBC drama half-drowned a cat as a threat. Can't seem to find a video or a picture of the moment in question, so this will have to do:

Oh...thought he actually was cruel to the best pets...

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Oh...thought he actually was cruel to the best pets...

Better hope he's not into method acting, no?

[opebo]

I havent seen any of the Harry Potter flicks, nor Lord of the Rings, nor Indiana Jones

They're all Satanic?

[bullmoose88]

I havent seen any of the Harry Potter flicks, nor Lord of the Rings, nor Indiana Jones

They're all Satanic?

no, they're just not my type of flicks, they bore me....same goes for National Treasure and Pirates of the Caribbean...but at least Diane Kruger and Keira Knightley make those two movies worth watching.

Indiana Jones bores you?

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

I havent seen any of the Harry Potter flicks, nor Lord of the Rings, nor Indiana Jones

They're all Satanic?

no, they're just not my type of flicks, they bore me....same goes for National Treasure and Pirates of the Caribbean...but at least Diane Kruger and Keira Knightley make those two movies worth watching.

Those don't really tend to be my kind of movies either, but there are some very good actors in the Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings movies.

[patrick1]

and National Treasure falls into the MacGyver category (correctly guess a whole paragraph of esoteric crap with the hint of a single letter)…which bores me also.

ahem