The Michael A. Naso Institute of Comedy

[Lambsbread]

My favorite part was about the cast color.

Oh God same I laughed so hard.

[Snowstalker Mk. II]

homecoming tonight...daughter went to dance in a limo with a bunch of other girls...wife and I spent couple hours with all the parents and had snacks and drinks....here is a pic, two of our daughters arent too hard to pick out

[Lief 🗽]

Why is Dalton McGuinty nicknamed 'Dad' by the way?

I think it's because he's seen as being paternalistic.

Anyway, here's a picture of him when he was younger:

[minionofmidas]

srly stop it

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

srly stop it

^^^^

[Platypus]

srly guys it's not funny any moar :/

[Joe Republic]

This thread has been even more amusing than I had hoped, and jmfcst hasn't even arrived yet.

[Mr. Morden]

homecoming tonight...daughter went to dance in a limo with a bunch of other girls...wife and I spent couple hours with all the parents and had snacks and drinks....here is a pic, two of our daughters arent too hard to pick out

No, the funny bit was this:

Look at all of those potential Herman Cain supporters!

[Filuwaúrdjan]

WEINBACH AND THE PRESIDENT SIT IN THE OVAL OFFICE THE FOLLOWING DAY. A MAN WALKS IN. WHITE HAIR, BLACK SUIT, SERIOUS LOOK ON HIS FACE.

Brooks: Dr. Weinbach, this is Mr. X.
Weinbach: Mr. X, huh?
Brooks: That's right, Mr. X. Now X is here to help assure that your attempt does not go without merit. As we know, you've never served in the U.S. Military, and you've never been trained in any battle techniques or weaponry.
Weinbach: Yes, sir that's correct.
Brooks: You will return, but you will return armed. This is a Beretta 93R, sub-machine handgun. 32 rounds in just a couple seconds.
Weinbach: Sir, I don't know how to use a gun.
Brooks: Well let's hope you don't have to. But...IF YOU DO...you point and shoot. Pretty simple.

MR. X PULLS OUT A BOX WITH ANOTHER GUN IN IT.

Brooks: Ahhh...here we are. A Smith and Wesson .357 revolver. Snub-nose style. It'll be attached to your ankle. Six shots. Simple.
Weinbach: Mr. President, Mr. X....um...why the precautions? I'm going to 1384.
Brooks: So what? You will have weapons that help ensure yours and Molly's safety. We'll pack you full of water, MREs, ammo, weapons...all the tools you need.
Weinbach: If you insist, sir.
Brooks: Now, we have to get you down to the laboratory right away. Let's get this show on the road.

SCENE SHIFTS TO WEINBACH AND BROOKS IN THE LABORATORY. WEINBACH, IN BULLETPROOF VEST, BACKPACK ON WITH SUPPLIES AND WEAPONS, STEPS INTO THE MACHINE.

Brooks: Newt...are you SURE you want to do this?
Weinbach: Mr. President, I must do it. I am sure.
Brooks: Look...I...is there anybody you'd like me to contact for you?
Weinbach: Nah...never had much of a family.
Brooks: (nods somberly) God speed, Newt.
Weinbach: Thank you, Mr. President.
Brooks: (shakes his head) Nah...nah...the name's Austin.
Weinbach: (smiles) Thanks, Austin.
Brooks: You bet, Newt.

WEINBACH STEPS INTO THE MACHINE. PRESIDENT BROOKS PUTS ON THE EYE GOGGLES AND SALUTES DR. WEINBACH. WEINBACH RETURNS A SALUTE BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. THE MACHINE SPHERES BEGIN SPINNING....THEN A TREMENDOUS BURST OF LIGHT ENERGY. WEINBACH IS GONE.

WEINBACH SLAMS INTO THE PAVEMENT. HE IS BEWILDERED, BUT SURPRISINGLY ALERT. HIS BACKPACK HELPS TO BREAK HIS FALL. HE LOOKS AROUND. A GRAY OVERCAST DAY. APPEARS TO BE MID-AFTERNOON. HE HEARS YELLING IN THE BACKGROUND. HE STANDS UP AND BEGINS LOOKING AROUND. HE CAN'T SEE ANYBODY. HE FEELS ALONE. HE IS ALONE. HE BEGINS SCREAMING OUT.

Weinbach: MOLLY! MOLLY CALLOW! DR. MOLLY CALLOW!

A MAN IN A UNIFORM APPROACHES.

Weinbach: SIR! SIR...I'm looking for a friend, I have this photograph-

THE MAN IN THE UNIFORM PUNCHES WEINBACH TO THE GROUND.

Uniform Man: AUF! AUF! Jetzt hund!
Weinbach: I'm...I'm looking for my friend, Mr. Molly Callow!
Uniform Man: Halt die Schnauze! Halt die Schnauze!

THE UNIFORMED MAN KICKS WEINBACH AGAIN.

Weinbach: I'm Dr. Weinbach...I'm a friend of Dr. Callow. Weinbach.
Uniform Man: Ein Jude? Ein verfluchter Jude!?

THE MAN GRABS DR. WEINBACH BY HIS HAIR AND DRAGS HIM IN THE STREET TOWARDS A GROUP OF TWO OTHER UNIFORMED MEN, STANDING, SMOKING CIGARETTES HOLDING WEAPONS.

Uniform Man: Schauen Sie, was ich Männer… ein verfluchter Jude fand!

THE MEN LAUGH. ONE MAN SCREAMS AT WEINBACH.

Uniform Man #2: Auf Ihren Füßen! Auf Ihren Füßen!!
Weinbach: (yelling back) I--I don't understand!

THE MAN PULLS WEINBACH UP ON HIS FEET BY HIS HAIR AND YANKS OFF HIS BACKPACK. TWO MEN OPEN IT AND BEGIN RUMMAGING THROUGH IT. THE ORIGINAL MAN STANDS, LOOKING ANGRY AND DISGUSTED AT WEINBACH.

Uniform Man #3: Waffen!
Uniform Man: Waffen?
Uniform Man #2: Der verfluchte Jude hat Waffen!

THE MEN BEGIN BEATING WEINBACH. HE YELLS OUT FOR THEM TO STOP BUT TO NO AVAIL.

Uniform Man: ALBRECHT! KLAUS! Nehmen Sie den Jude zur Gasse und töten ihn!

THE MEN GRAB WEINBACH BY HIS ARMS AND DRAG HIM DOWN THE SECLUDED STREET. THEY DRAG HIM TO THE BACKWAY OF AN ALLEY. HE GETS ON HIS KNEES FACING THE UNIFORMED MEN. ONE MAN WALKS TO THE EDGE OF THE ALLEYWAY, THE OTHER POINTS HIS RIFLE AT WEINBACH. WEINBACH REALIZES HE IS ABOUT TO DIE. HE CRIES OUT FOR MERCY. THE UNIFORMED MAN BEGINS LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY.

Uniformed Man #2: (laughing) ALBRECHT! Der Jude wünscht seine Mamma!
Uniformed Man #3: (laughs) Töten Sie einfach den verfluchten Juden, Klaus. Wir haben nicht den ganzen Tag!

WEINBACH REACHES UNDERNEATH HIS PANTS AND FEELS HIS .357 REVOLVER. HE LOOKS AT THE UNIFORMED MAN. THE MAN'S LAUGHING. HEAD LEANED BACK LAUGHING. RIFLE IN HIS HANDS. WEINBACH TURNS HIS HEAD AND SEES THE OTHER UNIFORMED MAN AT THE END OF THE ALLEY LIGHTING A CIGARETTE. WEINBACH'S EYE FILL WITH RAGE AS HE TURNS BACK TOWARDS THE LAUGHING MAN WITH THE RIFLE. HE SWIPES OUT THE REVOLVER FROM HIS ANKLE AND YANKS BACK ON THE TRIGGER. A BULLET GOES RIGHT INTO THE CHEST OF THE UNIFORMED MAN. WEINBACH GRABS THE RIFLE, AND TURNS TOWARDS THE SECOND MAN, WHO DROPS HIS CIGARETTE IN DISBELIEF AND REACTS BY SLINGING HIS RIFLE TOWARDS WEINBACH. WEINBACH SHOOTS THE RIFLE ONCE, THE BULLET GOING STRAIGHT THROUGH THE HEAD OF THE SECOND UNIFORMED MAN. WEINBACH PAUSES...HIS EYES FILLED WITH TEARS OF RAGE...HE HAS NEVER KILLED BEFORE. HE HEARS MUMBLING. HE LOOKS DOWN TO SEE THE BLEEDING MAN IN THE UNIFORM.

Uniformed Man #2: (whispering then getting louder) Sie haven' t gewonnen, Jude. Alle Juden brennen in der Hölle. Hören Sie mich? HÖLLE! JUDE! VERFLUCHTER JUDE! VERFLUCHTER JUDE!!!

WEINBACH SHOOTS WITH THE REVOLVER STRAIGHT THROUGH THE MAN'S HEAD. HE SLINGS THE RIFLE AROUND HIS SHOULDER AND HOLDS HIS STILL SMOKING REVOLVER IN HIS HAND. HE WALKS OUT OF THE ALLEY AND SEES THE FIRST UNIFORMED MAN STANDING THERE, STILL GOING THROUGH WEINBACH'S BACKPACK. WEINBACH CAREFULLY AND QUIETLY WALKS ALONG THE CORRIDOR OF BRICK BUILDINGS. HE APPROACHES THE MAN FROM BEHIND. HE PUTS THE GUN TO THE MAN'S HEAD AND COCKS THE HAMMER BACK.

Weinbach: Turn around. TURN AROUND!

THE MAN TURNS AROUND.

Uniformed Man: Verfluchter Jude.

WEINBACH, POINTING REVOLVER IN THE MAN'S FACE SCREAMS AT HIM.

Weinbach: ENGLISH! SPEAK ENGLISH MOTHERER!!

WEINBACH PISTOL WHIPS THE MAN, WHO FALLS TO HIS KNEES.

Weinbach: ENGLISH! ENGLISH!
Uniformed Man: Uh...uh...don't shoot! Don't shoot!
Weinbach: WHAT YEAR IS IT?! TELL ME!
Uniformed Man: Warum? Warum?

WEINBACH PISTOL WHIPS THE MAN AGAIN!

Weinbach: TELL ME! TELL ME WHAT YEAR IT IS!
Uniformed Man: Uh...uh...1944. June 8, 1944.

WEINBACH IS STUNNED.  THE UNIFORMED MAN SLINGS HIS RIFLE AROUND.

Uniformed Man: STERBEN JUDE! STERBEN JUDE!

WEINBACH, SLOW TO REACT, YANKS THE TRIGGER THREE TIMES. THE MAN FALLS TO THE GROUND, DEAD. ONE RIFLE SHOT GOES OFF IN THE AIR AS HE FALLS DOWN. WEINBACH COLLAPSES TO THE GROUND, GUN STILL SMOKING HIS HIS SHAKING HANDS. HE IS SUDDENLY COMING TO THE REALIZATION THAT MOLLY NEVER MADE IT TO 1348. SHE TRAVELED BACK TO 1944...AND WEINBACH HAS NO IDEA WHERE AND HOW TO FIND HER.

TO BE CONTINUED...

[Filuwaúrdjan]

This is probably the best bit of the above:

You must be logged in to read this quote.

[Paul Kemp]

Al, you're just mad because of your old saggy balls.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Al, you're just mad because of your old saggy balls.

It is difficult to deny such a charge.

[Lambsbread]

This thread is the worst goddamn retarded display of male masculinity and sexual insecurity I've seen in decades.

Bar none.

Mechaman 4 Supreme Dictator.

[Paul Kemp]

agreed, this is a non-starter....Cain has to win over the women of the GOP.  If he does that, nothing is going to stop him.

You know what they say...those women will never go back.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

This thread is the worst goddamn retarded display of male masculinity and sexual insecurity I've seen in decades.

Bar none.

Mechaman 4 Supreme Dictator.

He's already Governor General of Oklahoma for Life (I appointed him back in 2009, but I guess he's still to kick that whole Mary Fallin out).

[patrick1]

Visiting the Capitol for the first time earlier today:

That's an impressively large white dome; filled with conflicting ideologies, partisan hackery, delusions of grandeur, and an awful lot of hot air.

[Smid]

NWT election is in full swing.

A Non-Partisan Independent has been elected. Also, A Non-Partisan Independent has been elected. Also, A Non-Partisan Independent has been elected. There's one riding where A Non-Partisan Independent is running against A Non-Partisan Independent is running against A Non-Partisan Independent. I predict the Non-Partisan Independent will win.

For context, Northwest Territories has a non-partisan parliament.

[Platypus]

It's between Dr. Paul and Mitt.

Why don't you call him Congressman Paul or Representative Paul?

He can't spell those.

Which is hilarious in itself, but it gets better with:

It's between Dr. Paul and Mitt.

Why don't you call him Congressman Paul or Representative Paul?

He can't spell those.

Yes I can. I just choose to call him Dr. Paul.

[Antonio the Sixth]

I'm firmly convinced I've not met a Liberal that actually knows what the definition of Fascism is.

And this post only further confirms that for me.

Being a fascist, you would say that, wouldn't you?

...and...

Really? You are pretty pathetic aren't you?

Again I don't think you have a clue as to what that actually means except that you've heard others use it so why not.

This is exactly the sort of behavior that I would expect from a fascist.

...and...

This is exactly the sort of behavior that I would expect from someone that doesn't even know what that term means.

Do you often fall into sarchasms?

Do you often use whatever statements and questions you can to duck the fact that you don't know something?

Possibly, maybe, I suppose so, on occasion, on a fair day, when the wind is blowing from across the Straits, before noon or after seven, but never on a Sunday.

I Al.

[Paul Kemp]

Keep an eye on this one:

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=141702.0

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

That's grade A classic Naso similar to circa 2007.

[Keystone Phil]

That's grade A classic Naso similar to circa 2007.

Classic Naso was late 2004-2005.

[King]

Naso has and always will be Classic Naso.

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

Naso has and always will be Classic Naso.

true, and any attempt to define Naso as a function of time would mean you've gone way beyond the point of no return within the Realm of Naso.  Better to simply to take quick glances from a safe distance.

[Lief 🗽]

but the American people are hurting...heck, even my wife is complaining...

Get a divorce. You'll feel much better.