The Michael A. Naso Institute of Comedy

[Joe Republic]

Turn-offs:

Too many tattoos or large ones
Piercings on face, tongue
Fishnet stockings
Platform highheels
Emo-style haircuts
Girls who talk slain
Duckface (pouty lips sticking out in photos)

The two fingers pointed down thing

Over-assertive girls

Turn-ons:

Red lipstick
Black nylon pantyhose or thigh-high stockings
Pump high heels, no open toe (example: )
Long, wavy or "big" hair: (example: )
Full lips
Big pretty eyes
Legs
Intelligent girls

I have to agree with his view of girls who "talk slain", as well as his appreciation for girls who have legs.

[Joe Republic]

Let's have some more political analysis from the Wisest of the Wise Soothsayers:

The GOP had better nominate Mitt Romney, or the Beehive State might be shaky for a Republican nominee. Utah has some Democrats, and those would probably be enough to defeat several of those nominees.

[Joe Republic]

The following post belonged in the Comedy Goldmine:

This thread belongs in the Comedy Goldmine.

Your love life belongs in the Comedy Goldmine

[Joe Republic]

I just care about big black dicks popping up on my computer screen...

...I'll pass on being the collateral damage from his jokes.

I'd have thought it would have broadened your horizons.  Trust me, typing "big black cock" into Google Image Search with no filters, and then clicking 'I'm feeling lucky' certainly (and instantly) broadened mine.

The safesearch filter obviously makes a huge difference.



Obviously.

[Joe Republic]

Look at the username of the last person:

No but I support unbanning Rochambeau.

[Joe Republic]

On our lack of female posters:

Perhaps we can remedy this by placing images of big black cocks in all of our signatures.

[Joe Republic]

It's reassuring to see that during the debt ceiling negotiations, inspiration was taken from this body's esteemed Chairman for the creation of the congressional 'super-committee' tasked with researching which federal spending programs should be cut.

[Joe Republic]

Hardcore subculture greatly frowns upon them.

?

At least Naso doesn't query why his self-parodic posts end up in this thread.  But then perhaps that's why it's named in his honor.

[Joe Republic]

Imagine a slice of life TV series written by Naso.

Is it wrong that I'm picturing the thalidomide baby of Arrested Development and Azumanga Daioh as raised by late-period Li'l Abner?

It's only wrong in the sense that what the hell are you talking about

[Joe Republic]

How them  workin out hoss?

Merely stating the truth.  I actually plan it that way.  The more you dig, the better I look.

BTW:  The Tripoli victory parade you were planning to attend today has been canceled.

[Joe Republic]

I swear to god I came here to post the exact same thing.  Honest.  It's still in my clipboard and everything:

You are not familiar with the history of the coal miners in Britain?

[Joe Republic]

If the networks ever tried to remake it, jmfcst would be the most versatile Odd Couple character ever.

"One's a xenophobic homophobic sexist racist ageist bigot with an ego the size of Alaska, constant sense of intellectual superiority, and a hardline interpretation of the Bible.  The other is not him."  Hijinks ensue.

[Joe Republic]

I'm just going to leave this here for now, and come back later to actually read it:

If anybody has heard of myself, Reaganfan, than you will know I hold the decade of the 1980s in high regard. This is for a number of reasons of which I would like to share to help give those who may not be all that enthusiastic about the decade a little new light into what made the 1980s so spectacular.

Popular culture.

For sure, pop culture is the most memorable aspect of the 1980s. Remember, at the time, most of the entertainers, film-makers, ect were those who grew up in the 1950s and 1960s, thus the amount of "Happy Days" pop culture reflecting on the "Glory Days" of the 1950s and 1960s.

Everything from "Back to the Future" (escaping the present and going into the happy days of 1955) to hit songs like "Summer of '69" (despite having nothing to do with the year 1969) and "'65 Love Affair" where teens in the 1980s were somehow supposed to reflect on love affairs they had in 1965. That song clearly was aimed at those who were already in the 30s and 40s, and was originally titled "'55 Love Affair".



The popular culture combined the traditional Reagan-era family values with the retrospecting of the 1950s to allow a picturesque decade.



It was a decade where people embraced business and opportunity. Even film villain's like "Gordon Gekko" became almost a protagonist to the viewer. Indeed, his return in 2010's "Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps" almost shows him a savior of the Obama era who can help bring us back to the days of Reaganomics.



It was a decade where even liberal music agenda's were embraced as patriotic. Ronald Reagan's re-election campaign jumped the opportunity with Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the U.S.A." and people drowned out the verses which clearly spoke a nihilistic attitude towards the era of Ronald Reagan. But people heard simply, "BORN IN THE U.S.A." as a patriotic anthem of sorts coinciding with the right-wing President's prodigious and colossal re-election victory.

Even Madonna can be added into the mix. As Reagan began his second term and continued to try and boost the economy further from the gains made in the first four years, radio's blared out with such phrases as, "We are living in a material world".

Styles. Oh boy. I'm gonna get scalded for this one. YES, I like the styles, especially women's hairstyles, in the 1980s. Keep in mind out here in Ohio, much of these hairstyles continued until around 1994 or so when the "Rachel from Friends" look was in. Even as a boy, I was not pleased and I remember saying so a good 10-15 years ago, even.

When teens in the 2010s try to throw 80s parties, they fail miserably. Sure, they put on leg warmers and make their hair look big, but they miss just how insanely peculiar the styles of the 1980s were.

Look at the woman on the left:


I think she's smokin' hot. Gorgeous. Of course that's my personal opinion, but that is an authentic yearbook photo from 1987.

Now some teen girls throwing their 80s party think that THIS is 80s hair:


...it's not.

If you wanna throw an 80s party and you're a teenage girl, go into your mom's closet. Find her curling iron, pump high heels, some black or tan pantyhose, a tight skirt and a blouse (without shoulder pads, even die hard 80s fans detest those) and then put in some of her hoop earrings and then maybe you can pull it off. That's 80s fashion, not "like...OMG...WTF....I have leg warmers LOL".

Another thing about girls of the 80s.

Look at this woman:


Beautiful, glamorous, mature, elegant woman. 29, 32, 35 years old? Maybe 40 years old? right?

Wrong. That is a photo of an 18 year old girl from her senior yearbook. What a difference from 18 year old girls today who essentially look like kids.

Indeed, given my history and my predisposition for dating older women, I'd much rather prefer 18 year olds still looked like this:



Basically, girls looked older.

Everything in the 1980s was old. Indeed, movies had older stars, the characters they played were often older, musicians whom teens were listening to the radio were older, girls looked older, and the President of the United States was the oldest in history.

Take the film "Three Men and a Baby". Three men all near 40 having to take care of a baby left on the doorstep. How much you wanna bet that if they remade that (shudder) they would have Zak Efron in talks to be one of the guys? It wasn't "Three Dudes and a Baby".



Or how about the film, "Look Who's Talking"? Kirstie Alley plays a 33 year old woman who has an affair with her 50-something year old boss and John Travolta plays a cab driver in his late 30s who becomes a father figure. If they remade this, how much you wanna bet frickin' Miley Cyrus would play the part once played by a 33 year old woman? It's all about the age that makes the difference.

People young and old are always asking, "Why does the pop culture today suck?" The answer is because it's kids who aren't even old enough or intelligent enough making it all the way. Who cares how many times Kim Kardashian has been diddled, or about the girls who are sixteen and pregnant. They reap what they sow but thrusting it (no pun intended) down people's throats is unwarranted.

It seems we had lots of things that were just naturally older or more laid back in the 1980s. Could that be why the 80s were so conservative? I disagree. I think the liberalism of the 1960s and 1970s permanently moved America towards conservatism. 

TO BE CONTINUED....

[Joe Republic]

Why were you even talking film in here?  For like a whole page?

Rhetorical question; don't answer it, just GTFO.

[Joe Republic]

Whoa, you're right!  He totally looks French.

[Joe Republic]

How does one "look French", exactly?

Well, let's discuss why the others aren't French, to give you some background.

Michele Bachmann, despite having a name that would serve well in Strasbourg, has big hair. Big hair  post-1970 is un-French.

Herman Cain is black. Black people are un-French.

Newt Gingrich has incredibly good teeth for his age. Good teeth are un-French.

Rudy Giuliani is incredibly French on the surface, but unlike a true Frenchman he prefers to divorce and remarry rather than maintain mistresses.

Jon Huntsman is weedy, but doesn't have a moustache. Weediness without a moustache is un-French.

Gary Johnson looks French.

Sarah Palin can see Russia from her house. La Russie is extremely un-French.

Ron Paul dyes his eyebrows. Dyed eyebrows are French, but only on women.

Rick Perry is Texan. Texans are un-French. They don't even eat cheese unless it has a Mexican name.

Rick Santorum never surrenders despite the impossibility that someone of such low moral rectitude could win the primary. This is very un-French; there he'd either surrender or get elected.

[Joe Republic]

Yeah, I can rarely make it past the first paragraph of any of angus' posts at the best of times.  The reward doesn't justify the effort put in.  There's no way I'm scaling that wall o' text.

[Joe Republic]

This thread has been even more amusing than I had hoped, and jmfcst hasn't even arrived yet.

[Joe Republic]

Good job, BRTD.  (Holy sh-t, did I just type that?)  Though it was "Paultards" rather than libertarians.

[Joe Republic]

Yes, typical Ernest.

You see, neither this forum nor the internet existed 1969.

Is there no limit to the extent of CARL's ability to self-fail?

[Joe Republic]

Once again you completely missed the point, CARL, but nice try anyway.

[Joe Republic]

If Herman Cain were white:

He'd be hounded by charges that he fathered two black children.

[Joe Republic]

Was it just a typo, or does he think KISS is one man?

[Joe Republic]

An interesting side note - in Swahili, which is the official language of Kenya, The words of the 1994 Disney Classic The Lion King of "hakuna matata" means "no problems".  The movie says it means "no worries", so it's pretty much spot on.  So, not only are they real words, but the definition the movie gives is correct.

[Joe Republic]

The vinegar and honey just exacerbate the decay problem.

Obviously untrue as my teeth are fine.

Different standards of fine between the Land of Dental Overperfection and the Land That Dentistry Forgot.