The Michael A. Naso Institute of Comedy

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Do not post anything illegal on this forum.  If you f**kers get Dave in trouble, you deserve to burn in hell over it.

I already live in Oklahoma, Mick.

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Ah, but dead0man wins the thread with the 'straight face' tactic:

turn offs - enthusiasm about anything
turn ons - willingness to hang out with me

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All I know is that when I look at Pat Toomey, I immediately think 'ethnic minority'.

When I went to school in PA-15 we all used to call him White Chocolate.* 


He might not have a soul...but he got soul.**

*No we didn't.

**No he doesn't.

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You know the rules about quoting obscene material.  I'm not sure why the others didn't get points, but it doesn't really matter.  If you want to whine, please send one of us a PM instead of complaining about it here.  Continuing to misuse this forum is just going to get you more infraction points.

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I hope you signed like any good American would have.

I dislike Paul, but not as much as I like democracy;

if there were any one quote to summarize ben's posting history.

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How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?

Because it isn't called a teethbrush.

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Dude are going to spam this forum again     how about one single thread for every one of your Romney-schilling hyperbole

Yeah, seriously.

Seconded. Politico has become worse than the plague.

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If you haven't noticed, I refer to the jmfcst in third person...

So does Elmo.  Do you want a medal?

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A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx.

"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!"

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

"How old is this rock?"

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied, "4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian".

"Wrong. It's been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real... then it should be an animal now"

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears.

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named "Small Government" flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

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It's hard to understand other races and cultures though. Each of us speaks and uses slang of our own ethnicity. For example, I get my hair cut by the black panthers and every time I go, I leave having learned a new set of ibonics. At first I didn't know what kind of place it was but it was by my apartment and I realized it when I walked in. Once they got used to the texture of my hair, I was getting the best haircuts I've ever gotten. It doesn't make sense to me and seems kind of funny but I'm sure they'd feel that way too if they came to my town and got their hair cut by a barber on Main St. It is natural for humans to feel safer and more secure if they do things within their own race, town, country, family, friends, economic class. This is a very big discussion that shouldn't really be taken lightly.

What? What? Ibonics? They taught you Ibo? Can you be our forum's black person?

What? Lol they just speak it and I pick it up. They say things like "dat bitch be chirpin like a pigeon on da roof." Another one of my favorites is " Weez just rappin for a halla minute." I'm not black though and don't think I can keep up wieht their ways.

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The problem with Republicans and Jewish voters is that there are little nuggets of things the two agree on amidst a slew of things they generally do not. It's like having a giant bowl of Lucky Charms. The hearts, stars, horseshoes, clovers and dubloons are Israel. The bland, packing material-like cereal filler is everything else. Mitt can try to waste time digging through to find all the marshmallow bits and put them all in a bowl, but if he eats them, it won't be enough to make a meal out of and he'll probably get diabetes.

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I always believed morman have no morals.

This is shameful.

They better not do this to Ronald Reagan.