Chapter Three: Buckets of Warm Piss

[Mechaman]

Your new Political Analyst will have a copyright free (for all you hater of MLA formats and Works Cited) article up sometime this weekend over the latest court controversy.

[Mechaman]

Vote Early, Vote Often, It Doesn't Matter Your Vote Won't Count!
The Tweedist Manifesto and the Case for the Defense of Atlasian Democracy
By Mechaman:



In these recent days the people of Atlasia are facing the most ultimate of grand trial cases in the History of the nation.  A trial case, launched after the end of an election, that would in effect attack and destroy everything that our fair democracy holds dear by handing the authority of election from the hands of The People into the hands of a few people on the Supreme Court.  Never before have we seen such a blatant act of tyranny than the case launched by the so-called "Young Tweed" that seems to laugh in the face of our liberal democracy and the right of the people to decide for their own who leads this nation.
And earlier this week, the person they democratically elected of their own free will and cognition to serve as President, was Napoleon of the Northeast.  Whatever your feelings of Napoleon as a person or your disagreements of his public policy, any real citizen of these Atlasian states must stand by the legal and binding election of a plurality of the people of this nation for his election as President.  Also earlier this week, the Honorable Kalwejt was elected Vice President, also with the verification of a plurality of the citizens of this nation.
I did not vote for Napoleon and Kalwejt.  In fact, I gave them fourth preference.  In hindsight, considering this rape of our legal system, I consider this a grave mistake.
I will admit, I have not been the biggest fan of the Napoleon campaign's approach.  There were times when I found him lacking in humility and respect for his opponents.  Maybe this did impact how I voted.  In fact, it did.  To say it "might have" or anything less than that would be a bold faced lie.
However, my personal opinions about the man Napoleon can not be used to dictate who becomes President and who doesn't!  I am but a lowly man, a common Atlasian, in the grand scheme of this system!  I carry no more democratic authority than any other man.  My candidate lost, but I bear no ill will towards this system, this liberal democratic system that ensures the right of the people to elect for themselves, BY PLURALITY, the men and women who lead this nation and dictate it's legislative policies!  I dare not, for any damned reason, dream to make a mockery out of it!
Which is why I stand by the democratic decision of the voters of this nation and denounce and defame the Tweedist agenda post election.
The Election of both of these men were decided in the most legal and Atlasian of ways, the voting booth.  The voting booth by which all free men and women have the right and privilege to decide best which form of governance suits them the best.  That form of governance they voted for was a proven record of reform and duty.  That form of governance they voted for was a proven record of honesty, integrity, and principle.  They did not come close to supporting the Tweedist Manifesto.  In fact, the Tweedist Manifesto was soundly rebutted by The People!  By large margins!
What this author wonders is what makes the esteemed Sir Tweed fit to run this nation anyway?  If Napoleon, a proven man with a proven record of defending the right of the Atlasian citizen to vote and in opposition to corrupt practices, can not serve the "public welfare", what makes Tweed feel more qualified to do so?  Not only does he lack the conviction of truth and decency exhibited by candidate Napoleon, the Tweed Manifesto was overwhelmingly crushed in the electoral count.  The voice of The People have spoken Tweed, and you aren't, and probably won't ever be, the leader of the free world.
What I find the most shocking is that, in Mr. Tweed's case, never once did he bring up the possibility of vote invalidation or coercive tactics once!  Not once!  Usually, when these sorts of cases arise the plaintiff claims some sort of voter fraud.  Well, to the mind of Young Tweed it seems that the only voter fraud going on is the voter voting!
What exactly is this Tweedist Manifesto you ask?  Why it's the most anti-democracy anti-Atlasian movement in the history of this nation.  It is radicalism, it is sedition, it is treachery, it is a mockery of The People!  This is nothing less than a full on power coup by a desperate megalomaniac with Messianic grand delusions to take power by the abuse of our legal system.  A Tweedist likes free will up to the point that it benefits him.  A Tweedist likes the right to vote, as long as it results in him winning.  A Tweedist in effect hates the rights and liberties of the people of this nation that have been guaranteed by our forefathers since time immemorial.
Anybody who gives a damn about this nation will join us, The People, in opposing this blatant hatred of Atlasian customs professed by Sir Tweed.
I could say more here, but really Homelycooking, our esteemed head of the Department of Federal Elections and another person who has proven himself worthy of being called a "hero of reform", being instrumental in the turn around in the Northeast that has been the talk of the nation for over a year, really said it all in his appeal before the Courts.  No finer public official has there been found than Homelycooking, who has proven himself beyond the call of duty in his position as the DoFE.  His testimony in favor of democracy should not be discounted and should stand in time as one of the greatest speeches in favor or our system of governance than as any in the history of this nation.
This is more than a case of whether or not Napoleon or Tweed should be our President, this goes to the very foundations!  To the very cornerstones of this nation's system of democracy and free choice and liberty and freedom.  If the Court decides to side with Sir Tweed it will have committed a most grievous crime against the people of this nation.  It will have effectively taken control over the this nation, effectively destroying the right to vote of every citizen.  Elections will become formalities, elections will become meaningless.  The People will be destroyed by the onslaught of judicial decision at the behest of a Tyrant.
I, and many others in this nation, wholeheartedly oppose this madman.
So join us, in this grand movement to defend Atlasian Democracy and donate to the National Council for the Restoration of Democracy (NCRD, though admittedly I would replace "Restoration" with "Defense", given that the Courts haven't turned their backs on us yet) and other organizations fighting to make sure that what has happened in many fallen nations doesn't happen here.

I would also like to take this time to thank my colleague Cathcon, for providing with us the most appropriate cartoon for this grand crisis we find ourselves in.

[Mechaman]

I appreciate it, but would prefer an opportunity to clarify campaign events to an apology.

Well, I guess it's more of a perception that you lacked some tact in the debate thread.  Like, Clarence and Oakvale wanted to discuss policy and what not with you and you were like "lame debate wtf!"

That's probably the most obvious one I can point out.

I don't know man, I just didn't like some of the tone of the campaign.  Sh*t, I don't really like this game to begin with but I still put up with it despite it making me hate other people.

[Mechaman]

Well, I still intend to defend my position on the Election of President Sensitive Sally, even if he's proving every word said about him in the IRC "hate filled" chats true.  If you think that all we do is sit around in the IRC and talk about how lame your attitude is you grossly overestimated how much we care about this game (no, that isn't a mistype).  This game isn't God to a lot of us, it's just that. . . . it's just a game.
YOu want to know what I said about you in chat?  I said you were a "f***ing hardon" (considering your attitude, probably pretty accurate really) and other sh*t.  If you really knew me you would know that is what I say about everybody in the IRC Chat.  I even call Dallasfan on occasion a "c***f****er".  Oh and also, I pointed out the obvious observation by more than a few of us that you were acting like an asshole!
So did Oakvale, Clarence, Snowstalker, Yelnoc, and most everyone else.
And then we start talking about State's Rights candidates in Maine, something about "accidental gay dating", mod tyranny, timeline stuff, some female celebrity's ass, etc. etc. etc.  This is the typical IRC Chat.  I'm sorry if you're disappointed, expecting us to have been obsessing about you 24 hours a day seven days a week on an obscure chat website, but it doesn't happen.
If you are the type who believes that any criticism is equal to "hatred" then yes I guess we're guilty.  However, what we are not guilty of is self-deception.  I for one know I am an asshole, that I am not a nice man, and that I have a tendency to say hurtful things when I'm angry.
Rest assured, I am not angry now, so I guess I have a tendency to say hurtful things even when I'm not angry.

And before you yell "cowards", keep in mind that the language we use in the IRC Chat would've gotten us banned in like five minutes here.  Frankly, it doesn't really matter because even when putting it nicely this sh*t doesn't come remotely near to going through to your head.  Which is often expected with people with delusions of grandeur or Messianic Complexes.
"IRC" Campaigning is a f***ing ludicrous term.  There are only like 9 of us on there at the most at one time.  If you seriously think that is how your opposing tickets got people to vote for them you have problems.
You can't get 40+ votes off of pure personal attacks on an obscure chat log that only a fraction of this website uses on a regular enough basis for such tactic to work.  The fact that you even entertain this idea shows a grand deal of delusion.  No, you probably aren't deluded, but you seem to entertain thoughts that suggest you flirt with it often.
I got the PMs from Clarence asking me to vote for him to back me up.  Most of the campaigning done by these other men were through PMs and through other means.  Men that you have thoroughly mocked and thus shown that you don't have the character, the attitude, or behavior of a real Atlasian President.

However, you are the President, the democratically elected president of this nation.  Somehow someway, despite all of the nasty ass rantings of yours you managed to get enough people to get elected President by a sizable margin.  I will not let my personal disgust at your conduct get in the way of supporting the legal and democratic means by which you were elected.
So congratulations Napoleon, you are President.  NOW ACT LIKE IT.
I still stand by my remarks that the people of this nation elected Napoleon to this highest office and that he is the legal president.

I rescind my previous comments for being too nice, but still take the position in my article that the Courts shouldn't entertain the delusional fantasy of the Tweed movement to subvert democracy.  The President wants to work on positive discourse?  Well he can start with himself.

I will stand by your election as president, but I will not act like suddenly you are Jesus Christ and can do no wrong.  If you are expecting nothing but praise from The People, or this Political Analyst, you are not getting it.  We have jobs to do Mr. President-Elect, and that revolves around delivering the news and the Truth to the people.  ANd  I could seriously give a damn now if the President never talks to me again or stops giving patronage to this paper.

So screw my previous apologies, you don't deserve them.

Mr. President-Elect, please grow the Hell up.

NOTE: This is a goddamn game dude.  Occasionally some of us like to have something called "fun" while campaigning.  The reason why my ad was removed was because it violated the TOS and the mods infracted me three times in a row for it.  Nobody and their grandmother should've taken it seriously.

Anyway, this will probably be infracted and deleted by Tuesday.  But it had to be said.

[Mechaman]

One more thing:

While the President is "not getting angry" I would like him to consider taking some time to actually self-reflect on his behavior on this forum.  This is a very hard thing to do, I know I've been through it before.  It's very hard to admit that you are being an asshole it really is.  Hell, it is even hard to see that you are being one.  Self-perception is a huge killer.

I mean, I used to think I was a perfect little angel and that all of my friends on here were just abandoning me because they were evil a few years ago.  And then, I took a few days offline to think about it and I realized that I was being a gigantic unbearable asshole.
It isn't easy Napoleon.  I realize that ego is a damning thing, I really do.  I used to be loaded with it.

However, the difference between you and me is that I've never been remotely near Presidential caliber.  You however, in your short time have managed to become President.  Therefore, expectations of your civility are a lot higher than they were in the Senate or even as your tenure as Governor.

Imagine, in real life, what the fallout would be if President Obama walked off the stage in a debate with Mitt Romney and ranted about how it was the "most pathetic debate" he's ever had?  He would get criticized the hell out of by everybody and their grandmother for being a gigantic prick.
The Presidency demands a level of humility and grace that frankly you haven't exhibited.  Not once in your time here.

You could be the most good hearted reform minded politician in history but people will only remember you in the long run as "that asshole".  So far, you seem to be living up to that legacy.  Now, am I saying you should constantly kiss babies and hug little puppies?  No, the Presidency demands a strong willed individual, but not an asshole.  You can be a strong minded individual and not come across as a totally unlikable person.  Politics has more to do than with pure policies, as a number of people use characteristics of the President himself to determine how they can trust him with the office: honesty, integrity, humility, a sense of justice, his public perception (does he smile a lot, does he shake hands, etc. etc.), etc. etc..

I mean seriously, this isn't some bullsh*t where we are going out of our way to antagonize you.  In fact, a lot of us used to be your friends.  And, from my experience on here, the easiest way to lose friends is to be uncivil and antagonistic.  If more than two people are suddenly not pleased with you, there is likely something going on.

There is the chance that these words may fly over your head, or that this may fall on deaf ears.  After all, that's probably happened to me a few times on here.  Right now, some of my "little chatroom crew" buddies are shaking their heads, thinking this is a wasted effort.  Maybe it is, but I always found the glass to be 5% a better thought than it's 95% empty.  Mostly, you have to find the change within yourself, we can't do it for you.

I don't expect a huge "I'm sorry for being an asshole" thread/post or even a defensive response to my posts on here.  I really don't want this sh*tfest to continue any longer than it has to.  An improvement in attitude concurrent with the office in question, though, would be notable.

Also, I am not supporting the Administration's side on this to "bury the hatchet", I'm doing it for Democracy.  Be thankful.

[Mechaman]

Announcing, the Regional Protection Organization (RPO)!:

The results of the case against the peoples of the IDS should come as no surprise.  After all, the federal courts of this nation are full of anti-Imperialist bigots who are out to strip the South, and all other regions, of their region rights.
Everybody and their grandmother saw this coming from a mile away, as the prosecutors, or should I say the oppressors, in the case went out of their way to let it be known that they oppose the right of the IDS region to regulate it's commerce.
This wasn't merely a case of the legality of trade currency or whatever the hell the "Dibble" is supposed to be, this was a blatant attack on Imperial culture by bigoted big government advocates that have complete control of this national government!  On all three branches.
You could almost hear the glee in the oppressor Fuzzy's voice as he got onto Jbrase's case, seemingly ignoring his well constructed case with loads of evidence backed by the Trojan Act itself.  Our defender, Jbrase, thoroughly rebutted the prosecuting attorney's points to the point that if I were the prosecutor's mother I would've been embarrassed to have given birth to such a sorry piece of sod masquerading as an intelligent user of the law.
Instead of playing the part of an impartial mediator and taking the prosecutor to task, holding the prosecution team responsible for it's amazingly idiotic, dumb, stupid, borderline Special Ed Class logic the Court decided to layway all of it's force into Jbrase.  The man with the brain.
The language of the law itself was quite clear Mr. Courtroom Judge.  Mr. Jbrase put it as clear as day, with as few big words as possible (so as to not confuse the federal judges who just graduated from the 6th grade with Principal Honors Roll Awards for Amazing Performance in Physical Education Class) and yet the supposed "non-biased" and "constitutional" judges still ruled against Section 2 of the Trojan Act.
Question: How much money did your federal mafia cronies pay you to rule against freedom of commerce?

Mark my words fellow Imperials and Dave fearing citizens throughout this nation, the lynch mobbing of Jbrase at the hands of the Federal Courts is only the beginning.  This Federal Atlasian Government is just getting started.  After all, it was foretold many moons ago that the first thing the government would take away from us in it's pursuit of statism would be our right to commerce and thus our right to self govern.  Success is the enemy of every oligarchist, this case is no exception.
Which is why we need to fight back.
As of now Mechaman and Associates are starting a new campaign.  A campaign which has at it's interests the restoration of Region Rights that has been stripped away throughly in recent years by activist radicals hell bent on destroying our rights to a non-government worshipping culture.  We will not bow down head first to the visage of the Federal Government that the statist loving cretins in the high federal offices and the bastardized courts, raped by bureaucracy and corruption, wish upon us.  We will fight back.
And this fight begins with you.
That's right, the People.  You the People as one, protesting the tyrannic overreach of judicial activism at the behest of a few hermaphroditic characters sons of a halfbreed squaw that threatens to doom this country for their own greedy corporatist theocratic masters.  You can do your part by making a loud protest by at once voicing your right to regional sovereignty.
That is why, today, I am launching the Regional Protection Organization (RPO) to launch protests against this wave of anti-regionism that is now in vogue amongst our corrupted mafia led court system.  Our aim is your aim, to take back what was once ours.
Our main aim will be what will ultimately restore region rights: the elimination of At-Large Senate Seats to be replaced with all regional seats to best represent the actual interests of those constituents whom the Senators represent.  It will be quite simple, two Senator to two regions.  With this accomplished only then can we have the Capone appointed Judges in their rightful places: in fear of the people.
Our secondary aim will be to push forward motions to defend the right to region commerce and economic legislation.  No two regions share the same business and tax culture, and it is unfair to let unelected government officials decide for them how to best operate their commerce.
Our miscellaneous aims shall be to press forth a wave of pro-region bills, acts, and measures in the legislatures of the regions to force the federal government into devolving further rights stricken from us.

I encourage all legislators, whether region level or federal level, to support our cause and to restore Atlasian Democracy.

[Mechaman]

MechaAnalysis, Your Presidential Candidates:

Greetings children!  Today I'm going to give you the People's Rundown on the upcoming Presidential candidates for the next election season.  Please note that if you have a squeamish politically correct view of anything and everything said about certain politicians this isn't the place for you to be.  This will be hard-hitting and quite furious.  There will be no quarter left for these assholes, these scum eaters, these filth bedding taxpayer screwing vases of donkey kidneys.  I will say both the horrible mean truths (and admittedly, some lies) about each candidate. . . . . . and then giving a nice healthy side of the moderate hero positives!  So, let's begin!

President Napoleon:

What's He's Famous For: Hey moron!  He's the current President!  Yeah, you know the big dude in the white marble house (or whatever the hell the color is now) with the dudes in business suits with guns?  If you haven't heard of him maybe you need to move out of the 2012 Election Board!
The Positives:
The First President in History to actually accomplish sh*t.  Also the first person running for office to realize that "reform" actually exists instead of just using it as a religion to motivate his kids to not smoke weed.
The Negatives:
He's a gigantic Grade-A Prime Rib Asshole.  You invite him over for the holidays it's going to take years to rinse the stench out of the place.
Verdict:
Who the hell says politics is a popularity contest anyway?  Napoleon could be the world's largest most sour c*ntsalad but he's still managed to actually do sh*t (which is more than I can say than 98% of Atlasian "Presidents")!  If you believe that the internet is serious business and the rule of thumb is a disease and that this game is like real life, he's definitely top preference.

The Duke:

What's He Famous For: Running in every Presidential Election since the dawn of time with one of his pal, Carlos Ray Norris.
The Positives:
A widely known non-annoying moderate hero, The Duke is your ideal choice if you want a well balanced administration that takes logical forward thinking solutions to the problems that face this nation.  He gots all the answers to the ails of this nation that can't be answered due to division and petty politics.
The Negatives:
Horrendous sense of micromanagement.  Horrendous.  He lost an entire army of cyberpunks fighting against a be-mulleted Kurt Russell and his ragtag gang of grade F- Losers with the very worst of early 1980's fashion sense supposedly taking place in 1997 in a New York City large prison.
Verdict:
Damn dude, look at that gun he's got.  I think he's pointing it over at you.  Yes. . .  .YOU.  And if I were you, given the alternatives, I would vote for The Duke.  Now, damn it, now.  Before he takes the safety off.

Jbrase:

What He's Famous For: Establishing the Royal House of Jbrase, one of the highest houses of order in the Great Imperial Dominion of the South.
Positives:
Organization.  Jbrase is the only candidate who has the official party of the Imperial Dominion behind him.  He understands that once you go IDS, you can't go back!  Not now, not ever!
Negatives:
The asswipes at the party headquarters didn't give me a cue card for this part.  What am I supposed to do at this part?  Stick my thumb up my ass and pretend to be a puppet?
Verdict:
Grade A Roast beef sandwich with A1 Steaksauce.  Just don't ever expect anything from the Imperial Bloc leaders.  They are a bunch of trial lawyering, no good, snot nosed, toilet bobbers who play baseball like girls!

Pingvin:

What's He Famous For: Having political views that would make your grandfather cry gay baby tears.
The Positives:
Ummmm, besides this envelope containing $500,000 for my absolute silence on all negative facets of his character?  Well, his kickass taste in kickass music, his brave political views that every Atlasian should have, saving a tribe of African pygmies from certain destruction, curing Cancer, and saving mankind from the Romulan invasion from the future.  It's almost too hard not to think of the many good things he has done.
The Negatives:
Umm let's see here. . . . the fact that he tottttally has no negatives at all!  I wish there was something about this fine upstanding individual that I could just hate!  But, it just keeps slipping into me wallet. . . . err I mean out of my head!
Verdict:
This is possibly the only time you will ever get to vote for such a perfect candidate as my paycheck, err I mean Pingvin.  I can't imagine what the future will be like if Atlasia doesn't elect this fine upstanding individual!  I recommend that everybody, living, dead, undead, microprocessed, go to the voting polls and vote in this fine citizen!  Atlasia truly can't do any better!

Snowstalker:

What He's Famous For: Being a die hard Labor hack with a strong distaste of the Cosmos.  Also, an unnatural attraction to cartoon ponies.  Also, is prejudiced against Jews and Italians . . . . . . but who isn't?  Also, despite what you might infer from the picture, he's not really a black man.
The Positives:
He's a die hard Labor hack who won't put up with neo-liberal sh*t.  Which is good for lots of left wingers who take to Clintonianism like a lot of us take to AIDS.
The Negatives:
He's a die hard Labor hack who won't put up with neo-liberal sh*t.  Which is bad news for lots of liberals who take to Clintonianism like a lot of us take to free internet porn.
Verdict:
For Snowstalker, this race is about a bit more than just policies.  It's f***in personal.  Let's just say that he has a pretty strong distaste for the more centrist approach the Atlasian "Left" has taken since the start of the game in 2004 in recent months.  Also, he's a ponyf***er.  So that's enough reason not to vote for him.

Xahar:

What He's Most Famous For: Creating the Earth, the Stars, the Cosmos and everything you see around you.  In the last millenium, he is most known for establish the Leipist National Front (LNF), the first truly democratic and equality focused party in Atlasian History.  Also known as a foremost advocate of the Mustafinism-Komovism philosophy, which is a set of values and beliefs revolving around
The Positives:

The Negatives:

Verdict:


Mecha's Choice:
With all that said and done, ultimately I have to for a little bit of



Case closed.

[Mechaman]

The F**king Truth
Mechaman Interviews Pingvin, Candidate for President:

Why are you running for President?
Do you listen to Deep Purple? If not, you should. They have a song called "Stormbringer". I think that this country needs one.

So Pingvin, why are you a (insert your party name here)?
Because Milliard Fillmore was Whig. And he was badass. No one was f**king with him. Not many people know but he was a Mummy Hunter. (He just got overshadowed by Abe)

What do you hope to do as President of Atlasia?
Well, I'll do some stuff. Day One:
Eat at KFC
Listen to Iron Maiden
Shake some hands

Which posters would you like to see in your cabinet?  Besides Mechaman.
SJoyceFla, Cathcon, Tmth.

How will you deal with all of the haters of your glorious campaign?
We will beat out all the sh#t of them using this scary sh%t.
What is your position on ponies and bronies?
Kill them, burn them, rape them, find their families, kill and rape families, burn the houses, piss at houses ash. That's the way I will do with all my political enemies. No one f**ks with that Russian.

Amen brother, preach it.  I don't like those freaks either.  Atlasia would be so much better off if with sent them all back to their homeland of Jewidia.
AMEN PRAISE OUR GOD INDEED

I can respect that Pingvin.  That's what I like about you, you're such a straight shooter!  Anyway, what sort of foreign policy would you like to implement?  And please don't say anything about f***ing Libya.
Pingvin's Foreign Policy: Don't intervene (unless someone touches Israel), drink some Dr. Pepper and observe.

Fascinating.  Anyway, what do you think about the state of this nation?  Is it better off now than it was a few months ago?
No. If it's not me, it's chaos, anarchy and defecation into fountatins. There is no alternative.

That's an interesting perspective.  Kind of like my friend Paul who thinks that the original Total Recall, you know the one with Arnold Schwarzenegger, was real! I happen to disagree with him on that I mean it's so obvious it's a dream even a ret-I mean a reptile could figure it out.  So, what would you call your ideology?
Badass Russian Right-Winger.

You know, I don't know how to bring this up but you got a lot of haters man.  They say you're a bit extreme and that you eat babies or something.  Personally, I think it's messed up and they should be ashamed of themselves for not telling it to your face.  Why do you think that is?
Dogs bark, caravan goes on. If they're trying to attack me, I won't care.

Got to stick with your guns man.  Like who cares how many people thought Rocky V sucked, the part where he kicks Tommy Gunn's ass in a street fight?  CLASSIC!  Anyway, how do you plan on reaching across party lines and getting the vote out?  Remember, for just a four lb bar of chocolate I will give you the Imperial Bloc's full support!
5 lb and MCRP.

Well, looks like I just got fired for taking selling my vote to a public official!  Damn it.  Anyway, now that I'm unemployed may I ask how you plan to help our employment situation with your jobs program?
Entire campaign is about jobs. I once ate and outdated Skittles and saw a dream - sky is made of jobs, sea is made of jobs. That was deep.

Sh*t!  It's almost time for my bond hearing for illegal gambling!  Any last words Pingvin, before the police break down my front door, causing me several hundred dollars in door replacement fines because I wasn't smart enough to invest in Insurance?
Last word: It's Pingvin or It'll get worse!

It was nice having you here Pingvin.  May Taurus guide you to victory!
Good luck in your hearing.

[Mechaman]

On the Damn Record

The 20RP12 Interview:

So, why are you running for the Mideast Senate seat?

I'm running for Mideast Senate because I really enjoyed my time in the Senate when I served earlier this year, but also because I believe Mideast citizens would like a change. I understand Senator Ben has high approval ratings, but I think, at the end of the day, the Mideast is open to a change at Senator. I'd be privileged if they chose me as their Senator.

Honestly, what do you think of the game at this point?

The game's certainly on an upscale now, with new players registering frequently and old players coming back and re-registering. Despite the fact that Kalwejt, who is arguably one of the most important figures in the history of Atlasia, has retired, we have Xahar and Hashemite rising from the history books to team up for a Presidential run. It's pretty cool, really. I'm just hoping the Midwest and Pacific activity crises can be solved soon.

Why are you a Whig?

I'm a Whig because I consider myself more of a Conservative than a Liberal. The Whig Party may not pander to some of the views that I hold, but they're strong in their beliefs, and that's incredibly respectable.

Out of the current Presidential candidates running, who do you like best?

Write-in: Mechaman

How would you describe your ideology?



Could you give us an idea of what kind of bills you would advocate as a Senator?

I'd certainly introduce bills regarding fiscal policy and debt reduction, some bills regarding civil liberties, but it really depends on what issues are facing our nation at the time.

What is your opinion of "Hot Dog" by Limp Bizkit?

Limp Bizkit is my favourite viking metal band.

Wise choice.  You would've been liquidated otherwise.  Anyway, what is your favorite music genre?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uL1CL2zl0jA

That's. . . . . interesting.  So, what do you think of your fellow Whig Pingvin running for the Presidency?

Pingvin's awesome. If he wins the Presidency, you bet I'll be riding a Pegasus through the Atlasian skies whilst blasting Iron Maiden.

Fascinating.  If you could have a theme song for your campaign what would it be?

Enter Shikari - Gandhi Mate, Gandhi

What was the most illegal thing you've ever done?

I shot JFK.

What makes you the most qualified candidate for the Mideast Senate?

I'm not gonna lie, Ben is quantities more qualified than me when it comes to holding office, but he's been here for twice as much time as I have. I'm a fresh face, I bring enthusiasm to the table, I certainly take my work very seriously and I love what I do.

Any last words?

Praise Jebus.

Nice talking to you mate.  It's been a pleasure.

You too!

[Mechaman]

Mechaman reporting for duty!

As of this moment, I will be accepting any and all pm requests for interviews.

Yes, even him.

[Mechaman]

Unbridled, uncensored, and unmolested
The Cathcon Interview:

Well good day fellow People!  Today I have the immense pleasure of interviewing the renowned Atlasian citizen Cathcon on his way to the Presidency of Nyman!  Surely, I will conduct this interview in the most nonbiased, nonpartisan way imaginable!  So don't worry guard, you can out that gun away now.
So now, let us begin!

So Cathcon, would you tell us the REAL reason why you're running?
Thanks dawg for agreeing to do this interview with me. I'd like to start off by saying I'm in this race for power. Purely that. Let's not pretend politics is anything other than that.

Well okay then.  Cathcon, I'm looking at your platform.  Sounds like a bunch of bullshit.  Care to explain?
Well yeah. It's largely platitudes. Also attempts at creating patronage positions for my supporters (ahem).


If I must really pry Cathcon, what is your relationship with the President?
He is a former employer of mine that I'd like to say I am on good terms with, though I have no idea how he feels about me.

Have you now, or have you ever in the past, partaken in sexual relations with the President?
Nah. I don't go for that shit.


Okay, I'll take these answers back to Kenneth Starr.  Next question, who did you have in mind when you came up with the idea of Presidential Advisory Committee?  You know, when you become President?
Largely my supporters and voters. From my own party would be dudes like HagridoftheDeep, Goldwater, my running mate Spamage, maybe some cronies from the Mideast. However, I'd also consider people who aren't necessarily supporting me, but I nonetheless consider allies in the War on Tyranny, good people such as former president Snowdawg716 and Senator Oakvale. However, while I would like to foster some bi-partisan patronage, the loyalty of folks like that would have to be tested first by some rigorous examination from my cronies.

Your democracy reforms sound quite progressive.  Care to tell us, the People, what brought this on?
It is out of an inherent love for democracy. Primaries have been a staple of democratic systems since Dave-knows-when, and I'd like to think the members of each party would be trustworthy enough to decide their own nominee.

Okay Cathcon, be honest.  What really pisses you off about Atlasia?  You can lie if necessary, after all that's why you people love to do.
The lack of an adequate civil service that would not only fill a gap in this nation's employment and infrastructure, but also provide jobs for hangers-on, cronies, sidekicks, and advisers to hole up in.

How much lying are you prepared to do to become President?
If only you knew...

How much lying are you planning on doing when President?
The office of President is sacred and must be guarded by whatever lies are necessary to tell the public.

How much lying do you plan on doing when writing your future autobiography, you fucking son of a bitch?
My auto-biography will exonerate my previously muddled legacy and show the Atlasian people what really happened. So yes, lots of lying.

What made you decide on Spamage as a runningmate?  Well besides all the hot passionate anal sex you guys are having on the tour bus?
I'm not going to comment on such allegations, especially not to you of all people. However, it was his great amount of accomplishments during his tenure as Governor of the Pacific and his status as an electable Federalist in that area. Such are marks of a fine politician, and most certainly a fine Vice President.

When did you decide you wanted to be President?
Sometime while discussing the state of Atlasia with friends. It was decided that the Right needed someone to step forward and carry their banner into the future. I'm not sure how I was settled on, but I was.

You have recently condemned the practice of "strategic registration" while at the same time refusing to do anything about it.  Does that mean you are not okay with current laws that regulate the amount of time a citizen has to live in a region before moving to another, since it would interfere with your democracy after all?
I favor the "James Buchanan" approach to government. Denouncing bad things while at the same time recognizing government's own limits in confronting such things.

If these people were bringing military style assault rifles would you change your position?
Nah.

Be bloody honest mate, you are not running to have fun, are ya?
The feeling of power is a much greater high than "fun" could ever be.

What is your opinion of Michael Bay?  Also, what would you do if you met him on the street somewhere?


What is your opinion about Jews?  Would you agree with those who say they are plotting world government under the guise of the Bilderberg Group and the United Nations?
Believe me, if any "New World Order" were being constructed, I would be in on the ground floor. Given that I'm not (as far you know), no, I don't think that there's some "New World Order" plot going on.

Lord Vol-He Who Should Not Be Named has returned.  What will you and your government do to effectively prepare for him and his Death Eaters?
Oh of course. Wizards, Death Eaters, Goblins, and the like are a threat to that average ordinary Atlasian. As a representative of The People, it is my job to protect them from these assholes with their "magic", "science", and "ability".

Your opinion of Muggles?
We, like Hobbits, are a surprisingly strong and resilient people, often dismissed by the elves, dwarves, and other "magic" folk.

Thank you for your time Cathcon, any last words?
Yeah dawg. You, and- and- your animosity, you're bringing tons of negative energy to this interview. You've just referred to- to me by all these bad names, and I, well... my self esteem's hurt by it, you'll feel bad about it later, and- and no one wins from this, man.

Wow, I never heard so much bullsh in my life.  You truly are a genuine piece of dog shit Cathcon.  On behalf of the people, fuck you very much for this interview.  Have a nice day.

See what I mean? You- you're just so freakin' mean, man. Well, I can tell you, once I'm in power, you're not gonna get away with shit like this again, you damn so-called "journalist".

[Mechaman]

High Times
Interview with Northeast candidate FezzyFestoon:

There are very few more memorable people on the forum at large than the amicable FezzyFestoon.  A figure in Northeast politics as both a Governor and a Lieutenant Governor, Festoon is planning his latest return to politics as a Senator in the special election in the Northeast.  He seems to have a very competitive race that includes the incumbent President as well.
And now if you will, FezzyFestoon:


Let me start off by asking the obvious: what is your reason for running?
Sweet, let's get crackin'. I really couldn't tell you why I'm running, Atlasia is such a needy ho. I guess considering the amount of free time I've accumulated between barely working and thus having no money to do anything, now seemed the right time to sacrifice my eyes and mind to computerland. I was pretty good at it before, so with any luck I won't just be some confusing flash in the pan of Atlasian politics.

Outside of the game, you have made your enthusiasm for the stinky weed well known.  With that said, looking at the current game laws (of which I have no idea) on the matter of the stinky weed, what advocacy would you see yourself doing on this front?
Well, the best why I know how is to just do as much smoking as possible. That way a) people can see how functional a stoner can be and b) the industry can expand...at least near me so I can get more. Hopefully I can push some stuff through to get more people smoking and less drinking or popping pills. Maybe that's the problem with Atlasia, who knows...it certainly would explain a lot if some people were just drunk or conked out on pills all the time.

Is Cocaine a Hell of a drug?
Hell of a drug. God damn, that stuff ain't gonna cut it. Pun intended.

But what about alcohol?  Isn't alcohol at least a little bit O'Fun?
Yeah, I mean there's nothing wrong with some beers and a couple of shots, maybe a bag 'o wine every once in a while (you gotta take it out the box) never hurt anybody. Unless you're dating a sorority chick, then a box of Franz could be more than a little damaging to your evening. You could always bank on a brown-out sweeping away your problems, but that never seems to work out for long.

He Who Should Not Be Named has returned.  Muggles everywhere are in danger.  What crime measures would you implement to catch the bastard?
This is where it all comes full circle. His crime ring is financed by the illegal marijuana trade. We need to spur Atlasian development of the weed industry in order to fight off He Who Should Not Be Named. It's likely to be a pillar of my platform. Along with prison reform that may or may not include reverse Dementoring.

So, what exactly motivated you to run for the Special Senate seat?
Well, when I thought it was gonna be an easy win I thought I'd skip over the training period in the Northeast Assembly in favor of jumping right into the Senate. Now it's more of a case of, "I guess this is happening now."

But dude, all the cool kids run for President!
There's no way I'm running for President, man. No way. That's too much responsibility. If an internet nation of the stature of Atlasia failed at my hands, I don't know what I'd do. Phil could probably easily find me, so the threat of bodily harm is a factor in all this, too. I value my knees. How else would I be able to put my feet up on my massive new desk? On the other hand, I guess my desk would be a lot more badass if I was President. Stay tuned.

You say you thrive on transparency eh?  Well, why did you lie and break that little girl's heart you cheap sniveling bastard?
I was afraid. Afraid to love and to be loved. I'm not perfect, I've got my flaws, love creates monsters. But my personal life will always be an open book. I'm in talks to turn that book into a TV series, so if I don't win this, get ready for some PRIMO reality TV. Jersey shore ain't got NUTHIN on Salth Phully, yo. How's that for transparency?

Fine!  Be that way!  Hmph.. .. . . anyway back to business Fezzy.  Why don't you care about John Engle?
Who?

He got banned for your infractions.  In a very real sense he's like Jesus Christ!  And you don't give a shit!?
Things happen to the little people when you're so much bigger than life. Hey, if you want better than Jeses, somebody's gotta take the fall. Why do you think that dude's party isn't around anymore, huh? Sit on that egg for a minute.

So, one of your opponents is the incumbent President.  How do you plan on beating him?  How do you feel racing against Napoleon?
So far it doesn't seem like being President is much of a positive anymore. I'll just keep letting The People voice their obviously robust issues with the President. From what I've gathered it has a lot to do with stuff I have noooo idea about. It's all about delegation and knowing when to defer to the experts. Who knows better than The People?

What is your opinion of Barnes, the man who decided to quit the seat you decided to run for?  For absolutely no reason at all?
If all goes according to plan, he'll be remembered quite fondly for ushering in the second coming of Fezzy

How does getting The People's endorsement make you feel?  Great?  Powerful?  Invincible?
Among other feelings. Like an immense and growing sense that I may or may not be better than many/all other Atlasians. The People have spoken, and I like what I'm hearing.

Your campaign logo is quite revolutionary.  Who and how the hell did they make that?
An artist cannot convey his vision in words. It probably looked a lot like this when I was crafting it though

Your campaign has come out with an ambitious legislative agenda.  Why?
Dude, I've been gone for years, I gotta give people something. I'm not just gonna walk up and be like, "heeeey, soooo, vote for me?" That would just be lazy...actually, do you think that would work better? Actually working for this job seems like, ugh, too much work.

But, no one ever gets elected for having ambitious and detailed legislative platforms.  They get elected for saying big word bullshit and paying off voters.  Surely you would've know that.  How do you compensate for such an oversight?
Yeah, you're telling me. That's why these fools better remember my reign in the Northeast, I'm pretty much coasting on my strong-arming from yesteryear. Hopefully my few remaining mandated allies (pun intended again ) will pull out all the stops to force me into office. I don't have the mind for it anymore, I don't care enough to try to screw anyone over or hitch myself to anybody's wagon for my own gain. Too much to keep track of anyway. All that crap I'm developing is enough, I don't need to take on other, lesser projects.

This interview is still too short, so I'm going to ask questions about your headquarter appearance.  Let me see here, it says that you want to develop high speed rail in this country.  Say some big words about that to add fluff to this interview to make this sounds like we give a shit.
Are you for real? This is taking foreeeever. Just like high speed rail is going to. I'm trying to get the ball rolling, not cure the nation's ailments in one fell swoop. I'm not quite that good yet. But if you want big words, here we go:

Inaction on the part of any governments to prevent overdevelopment by enacting practical, hell any, land control measures has led me to look to solutions to symptoms rather than the underlying issues, as is all too common among government officials. Long commute times and high travel costs contribute to an increase in depression among Atlasians, and only promise to get worse as wages stagnate and populations and costs of living increase. Implementing a high speed rail system as part of an overall dedication to the smart development of our future through investments in infrastructure. We could alleviate congestion while expanding citizens' opportunities for employment. That was exhausting.

Man this is some dope!  Anyway (scans uber long post for more stuff), it also says something about agricultural workers.  Oh wow, this is actually fairly interesting.  May I ask why the campaign focus on the agricultural worker?
The food industry is completely out of whack. And our immigration policy compounds that. Minority farmers constitute a massive majority of our agricultural workforce and aren't even being paid minimum wage in many cases. Children are working long hours and adults have no rights because they're employed under the thumb of corporate agri-business. We need to reform the way the government treats the food industry, because we're all getting fat and it's clearly somebody's fault. I can't blame The People, so the big guy takes the fall again. Call me socialist...

It also says that you believe regional goals should be rewarded for going along with federal priorities.  Under such a system, aren't you afraid of an increasing amount of federal hubris in the affairs of regions?
No, I don't support mandates or punishment by withholding resources or whatever, just rewards for progress. As clogged and dysfunctional as the federal government is, there's a much bigger need for some more parity between the activity of regions.

This interview as dope man!  Nice talkin to you!  Any last words?
Damn, not really! Vote for me?

Thanks for your time Fezzy.  I wish you luck on your quest.

Thank you, good sir. It's been great fun as always. But also, you're welcome.

[Mechaman]

The Game Reform Stalwart
The long time coming interview with Marokai Blue:
Part One

On this edition of The People's Interview, I interview an often overlooked legend in the field of game reform.  All too often accused of using the issue of Game Reform as a political football, Marokai has endured the most scathing of critics and bickering to put forward an issue that he believes means more in the long term than petty left-right squabbling.  By far the most descriptive Presidential candidate, Marokai now seeks to go far and beyond his usual reform proposal in the past running as Senator or Vice President.  This time, as a candidate for President, which many citizens would say has been a long time coming, he offers a radical new initiative, the "New Direction", to change the way we will see Atlasia as a game.
It is in the wake of his momentous presidential run and his ambitious campaign program that I accepted his request for an official interview with The People with great zeal.

First off, how you feeling?

Anxious. Not new, though. A lot depends on the outcome, you know? If I win, I have to write a lot of legislation and work a lot of things out, so it's easy to just sometimes sit back and think "Gosh, I really hope this is over soon!"

You've always been a voice for game reform as long as I can remember.  So often endorsed of the idea were you that you (and others) have oft been accused of using the "game reform" issue as pure electioneering rhetoric.  How would you silence those critics?

Bgwah once said to me "You're still selling it, so I guess people are still buying it." But the truth is, when have the majority of Atlasia ever been "buying" it? If they were buying, I would've ran out of goods by now.

Reformists have been a very visible streak in the game but we've always been a stubborn minority, our ideas keep getting headlines, but rarely ever passage in the Senate. Ideas that do pass are either amended to hell so as to be worthless without future changes (the Initiative system) or repealed soon after passage (caucus system). Game reform will be an issue until it's given a fair chance, and so far, it has only been blocked or watered down at almost every turn.

So I say to these folks: Give it a chance. Would tinkering with election systems and VP responsibilities be the end of the world? Of course not, so let it actually have a chance of going somewhere before we start screaming about fire and brimstone.

I commend you greatly for your repeated insistence in the reminder that, while the issues in Nyman are very similar to real life, that all of this is still just one bloody game.  I myself have repeatedly become frustrated with the seriousness and zeal and bitterness thrust into this game by many (including myself).  The petty feuding between members of the political elite and the pure obstinance of some are a blatant symptom of the problems this nation faces with taking a chill pill.  Mark my words Blue, I was dragged back into this position after some pretty insistent begging by the People for my return.  Although the role of newsperson is a lot less hectic and stressful than that of an active game player, it still bothers me that we see such elementary bickering over what is at it's deepest roots is just a game, damn it!  Yes, I know I just broke the fourth fuckin wall here People, but just indulge me for a minute!
Okay, here's this interviewer's questions: First, what the hell is wrong with us?  Second, where in this process of the game do you believe that most of us struggle with the concept of "having fun"?  Third, what can we do, as advocates of fun, to combat this all too pervasive trend in this game that causes these feelings of great animosity?

I really really f**king hate that about this game too, you're not alone. Maybe I'm just a dork, but I would have a lot more fun in this game if it, well, worked better, and there were more opportunities for activity and interesting positions. Some other people seem to have more fun when the game resembles a reality show simulator.

Nobody here is "cooler" than anyone else. We're all pretty much losers and geeks in our own way. We're on a political forum where much of the discussion is taken up by demographics and statistics, and this is effectively a Model UN style game we've got going on here. No one really has any grounds to go about big-dicking around as if they own the place, that includes me or anyone else. It's a game! And we're a community. And community's should respect each other. Games can work better, and be fun. Competition can be healthy, without devolving into years-old personal issues.

Someone once joked about a group of people in EVE Online's idea of what "metagaming" means. "Their idea of the 'metagame' is punching someone in the face while playing backgammon." I think of that joke a lot, because whatever gaming should be going on around here, it should remain within the context of the game, and not bleed out into hurting feelings and bullying.

Reading your campaign's first release, you've indicated your belief that Atlasians have lost the heart of game progress, that is that this Atlasian game is in need of occasional reform to keep it interesting.  Maybe this is too much like my last question, but when/why do you think this has happened?

I think Atlasia got really big, and a lot of time passed. It's no offense to say that when a lot of new people join something, it's easy to lose the spirit of what something used to be. On top of that, we had bigger parties and institutions than ever before, and it's in a large organization's best interests for things to remain the same as much as possible. I don't think it was the result of any big evil plan, it's just one of those things where I think once you mention "Hey, we've changed a lot before, none of this is unprecedented!" a lot of people really will open up and realize "Hey, you're right!"

A lot of people just feel like they have to keep themselves muzzled in a big, intimidating game. But that's not the case; everyone should be bold about these things.

You have recently called you and Duke's campaign approach towards game reform the "New Direction".  Is this a blatant rip-off of the "New Deal"?

More or less. I wanted something catchy!

Marokai, I'm not going to analyze all of your campaign's pledges and stances on issues in this one interview.  To do so would require a novel.  So, I'll note some of the essentials.  First thing I noticed is the quote in your campaign launch by PurpleState about regions.  I've known you a long time, and frankly I find it interesting that you've chosen the issue of regional elections as a key point issue in this election knowing your history on the issue.  Care to commentate on that focus?

Bottom-up change seems easier than top-down change. Funny for a Socialist to say, right? As regional governments matter more and more, it seems a sensible avenue to take change instead of a centralist approach.

Much like the joking FDR comparison above, actually, what I want is change to the way Atlasia works, I'm not too fussy about the details of how those change works, so long as it makes the game more fun and more exciting and more fair. A period of "great experimentation" is definitely in order. Anyone who says things are fine and don't need much change are trying to pull the wool over your eyes.

What has caused this great shift in your view of Region Rights?

Back in 2011 I saw the way the winds were moving on the regional level; toward activity and great change and competition. I was never a centralist ideologue, you see; when I joined Atlasia, regions were stale, and participation in even national elections was pitifully low. The insistence on maintaining regional governments and regional senate seats seemed like a boring waste of time.

But people like Purple State, hence the quote in my platform, proved me wrong. Regions proved they deserved the representation and prominence, by reforming themselves from the activity wastelands they were in 2009 and much of 2010 into bustling organizations that they are today. There are still problems (the Midwest is in the middle of attempting to reform itself, but I have hope) but the solution should never be subtraction, it should be addition! Give more things to do, find more responsibilities, make way for new people to rise up from the bottom. That's what regions have proven they can do.

More than that, they've proven they can be more interesting and movable than the federal government. If the Senate can't bring change well enough, why not give that responsibility to the regions?

Admittedly, I might've misinterpreted your earlier views on this matter.  It's just, some of these proposals are some of the most radically pro-region rights positions I've seen spouted by a candidate running for the office of President.  You've even proposed instituting some sort of electoral college program to give weight to populous regions, as a measure of their success.  What exactly is driving this zeal?

Desperation is the greatest motivator, they say. You're right that they're big changes; I'm not in the race to be a figurehead! I'm tired of seeing Atlasia never make changes, but always claim they're tired of things being as they are.

So many people, day in and day out, claim they are getting bored with the game, but they vote for the same people over and over again, instituting the same boring policies over and over again. So, people want change? Let's see them vote for it this time. What's driving my zeal? A desire to change things, because they have to be changed. It's simple!

You've addressed the Fusion Ballot Amendment.  Personally, I find the fourth part of the Amendment, that gives the right of parties to prohibit candidates from appearing on their ballot, to be undemocratic.  Would you agree with my summation?  If so, would you support means that would get rid of such an undemocratic measure?

I want to get rid of the whole thing, so you're in luck. It's not even being actively enforced by the SoFE anymore, and that's understandable. It's not even an actual fusion voting system. I want to scrap it and replace it with a proper fusion voting system, in addition to lowering the requirement to be considered a "major party" so we can encourage smaller banding together coalitions of modest sized parties.

[Mechaman]

Part Two
You've mentioned support for introducing measures that would allow the Executive Branch greater latitude in getting involved with the legislative agenda.  This would include allowing the Executive to introduce legislation and giving the Vice President the full powers of a Senator.  While in nature a good reform, how would you respond to critics that such a change would be a violation of the principle of the three branches of government?

I would respond by saying "It's a game!" We aren't modeled after the United States or any other actual country, we're our own thing, and if allowing the executive to have a greater say in legislative affairs makes the game more interesting, and results in more active Presidencies, wouldn't that be worth skipping over a silly and academic worry? The practical positives far outweigh the philosophical negatives, in my view.

I'm open to compromises though. Allowing the VP to have Senatorial powers, but not be able to vote on impeachments or veto overrides, seems like a good way of accomplishing most of the goal while reducing the potential abuses.

Just what is so unattractive about the title "Secretary of Federal Elections, you damn dirty socialist!

It's a wonky technocratic name! But, it's at least one of the least offensive. "Secretary of Internal Affairs" just sounds like a huge bore. making the names more straightforward and less professorial might make new people show interest in the jobs.

I'd also like to create a "SoIA Guide, SoEA Guide, GM Guide, etc" essentially creating handbooks giving a basic outline of the jobs respective powers and responsibilities. Purple State did that by making an "election administrator's handbook" which was great at outlining the responsibilities in a straightforward way. It's all about getting more people in the cabinet.

I must ask about this Regional Equalization Amendment that you have in your campaign booklet.  Strategic Registration, as it has been called, is a contentious issue in Atlasia.  So is, as you mentioned, the tendency for regions to fall into disrepair from inactivity.  You have suggested a so-called "emergency exception" to be activated by the Senate in times of activity lull.  What general guidelines would you like to see in place for such a measure that could be corrupted by Senatorial intrigue?

Only allowing it to be used once a year would be the most straightforward way of preventing the "emergency" from being invoked. But there could be other ways of doing it; making it require a unanimous vote in the Senate (this way all regional Senators would have to give their say-so) or putting it up for a referendum in our National Initative System before it can be invoked.

I think it's a really important thing, though. There's always a weaker link in the regions that needs help getting on it's feet once in awhile. The idea was actually a modified version of Canada's procedure of giving extra money to what is considered to be the poorest Province, and then when that Province is no longer the poorest, it's given to another Province. It's a way of reinforcing our weak spots. Some good people could make the Midwest a bustling zone of activity if they tried; and it could reduce the overpopulation in places like the Mideast or Northeast.

You seem a bit confident about unification with Canada under a Marokai/Duke administration.  How would you see this accomplished?

I think working in conjunction with a GM would make this the easiest way to go about. I'm relatively sure Atlasia has their own "origin story" as it were, somewhere around here. It would be no more unbelievable than the founding of Atlasia itself, and we all have no problem with that, you know?

It's possible we could also treat it more like a dual-citizenship EU type deal, where everyone here can move to different parts of Canada and Mexico, and they remain separate entities, but they can still vote in Atlasian elections and be considered a separate demographic. But I'd prefer outright annexation; it's simpler. GM involvement here is key, regardless of how we go about it, to give it a backstory and proper rationale.

I, being a former Midwestern citizen who was active in the Alping, approve of the Streamlined National Initiative this ticket has voice approval for.  If this is (hopefully) passed, how would this ticket go about implementing such a system?

Well, the Midwest itself and holding the system up, actually. I managed to pass a Constitutional Amendment while I was Senator late last year to reduce the signature requirement for our initiative system, and it passed in three regions, and failed in one. The Midwest, sadly, didn't vote on it (and a whole bunch of other things!), so ratification depends on the Midwest.

If it passes, though, it would reduce signature requirements to make it dramatically easier for things to qualify for the ballot. Votes would be held in the off-months (months where there are no national elections being held. January, March, May, July, September, November) which helps reduce the post-election lulls in activity the game always goes through. It helps keep activity at a more constant, and the best part is that you don't have to be elected to participate; anyone can pitch in.

Your proposal for "Repair Our Wiki" sounds like fun.  Frankly, I think the absence of a silver star program for those who update it regularly is what is chiefly responsible for the behind the times updating of many pages.  Though, and I must ask this, how do you plan on handling petty squabbling between editors, like the kind we saw between Antonio V and Libertas over the official colour of the "Populares" Party?

Ideally, the President and an appointed Administrator of ROW would be able to effectively prevent controversies like that by just refusing to award points and rewards to those who make edits if they get into a bitch-fit.

I don't want to encourage editorializing in the wiki, though; simply fixing outdated information, inaccuracies, and incorrect formatting. The original Repair Our Wiki functioned as an "on-call" organization, where people who didn't have time to edit things themselves could point out problem-pages for those who did have the time to edit. Hopefully those who volunteer for the organization just have the best interests of the wiki in mind.

What's the big deal with the "State of the Union" address?  Why do you care so much about making us sound like those godless American commies?

It's almost never used! I just hate the idea of a section of the Constitution going completely unused, that's all.

By now, many know of your zeal of increased activity, but fewer seem to know the gusto you show for making the Vice President a relevant position.  What drives your efforts in this area?

Easy! I don't want the Vice President to be a political football. By giving the VP actual responsibilities and a real government impact, it makes the choice of a VP a much more weighty one; a candidate could no longer just pick an ideological opposite for political impact without it having policy impact once they're in government, because that VP would have a say in legislating too.

I don't think we should abolish the position. Like I said before, addition, not subtraction! Give it more responsibilities, give it more powers, make it more interesting and exciting, make it an actually worthwhile position. Getting rid of it is the easy way out, and I hate for us to take that route. By giving it more powers, we improve a present position, and make tickets for President have greater ideological consistency. It's a win-win.

[Mechaman]

Part Three

I want to take a moment and say that it is about damn time we made "deregistration" a reality.  With that off my chest, I just now got to your economic section.  And really, with much apology to the reader for omitting this, but outside of Atlasia you are well known for being a stalwart of left wing causes.  Your very first item under economics is the "Social/Economic Development Zones".  What exactly does this program do (I think, while it's aims were detailed, the actions of the program seemed a little vague)?

The SEDZI Act highlight specific depressed locations of the country and blankets it in a host of stimulative measures, instead of just letting the poor areas of the country fall behind. It provides infrastructure funds just for those locations, it temporarily abolishes all sales and business taxes for a full year, and creates a program that subsidizes up to 80% of an employee's wage that is hired through that system. (This was modeled after a very similar wage-subsidization program in Germany and Florida that are quite successful at reducing unemployment.)

Unfortunately, it's also basically never been used. The hope was that the SoIA or GM would work with regional governments to highlight areas for implementation of the Zones, and would do so on a cycle of a few months or so. But sadly this hasn't happened yet. I'd like to pressure all involved to do so as much as I can within the federal government's power.

And thanks for the support on deregistration.

Again, I won't cover all of your campaign's initiatives for the sake of time (though, this interview is stretching it), but one of the things that did strike out to me is this campaign's brief statement on an Amendment to Revoke Corporate Personhood.  Do you personally believe that the presence of large corporations, with untold amounts of wealth and ad space, present an everlasting danger to the existence of Atlasian Democracy?  Would it be hyperbole for me to suggest that the recognition of Corporations as "people" is as real of a moral hazard to this country as the issue of slavery?  If Corporations are indeed people, would they not be slaves by nature to the special interests and lobbyists who buy the voting power of said Corporations through stock ownership and therefore illegal?

Yes, I do believe they present a danger to Atlasian democracy, and democracy all over the world, and that is why I'm standing firmly by my proposal to revoke corporate personhood.

Though your argument over their status as slaves is an interesting one I'd like to have the court look into just for funsies.

You and Duke have obviously put a labor of love into this campaign.  Over the past year, as indicated by Duke, what would you say has been the hardest part of organizing this campaign?  The funnest?

The hardest: Convincing people that our ticket is based on true love and not political opportunism. He's one of the closest people to me in Atlasia and I trust him with my life. But, as always, some people will try to find ways to accuse us of all sorts of things, you know? I wish people would just understand that I don't do that stuff. If I pick someone, all I care about is that we're on the same philosophical page, and that I can trust him. Duke is that guy for me.

The funnest: Proposing things! Brainstorming! I love that s**t! As hard as it can sometimes be to dedicate hours of time to writing my proposals, Duke and I have had an utter blast chatting together about our views for the future of this game and how fun certain systems could be if we gave them a shot. We concocted a veritable manifesto of reform, and every ideas was really cool to imagine and work out. That's the fun I get out of this game.

My good man, I must stop this interview now out of fear of going over my margins in brevity.  Any last words before I bid you adieu?

Just that I encourage people to see past the hotness of the moment, and think about who you want in office for four months, proposing things, working with others, and crafting a vision for their term. We have Forum Community Matchups and Opinion Of threads for silly Prom King and Queen contests.

It's been a real pleasure interviewing you Marokai.  I wish you and Duke luck in this upcoming election.

Thanks Mecha. You're pretty awesome too.

[Mechaman]

A Culture Warrior
The People's Paper Interview with Senate Candidate JCL

As a correspondent/journalist/whatever you call it for the People's Paper I have the privilege of interviewing some pretty unique people.  However, in Atlasian politics there are very few politicians who stand out as much as the outspoken Mideast citizen JCL.  Being an observer of the man for some years, I must say that although at times I have admittedly had some nasty turns of stomachs at watching his advocacy of certain issues, he should be most commended for, in this nation more than others, of standing up for what he believes is right.  Which is why, when he humbly requested an interview with this prestigous paper, I jumped at the opportunity.

My good man, how're ya?
I'm fine. I hope you are as well

I hear you're in mushy sappy love, care to explain?
There's a girl irl that I like. Where that goes only time will tell.

So, one of the first things that comes to my mind when someone mentions "JCL" is "pro-life".  You've seemed to always been a passionate advocate for pro-life issues and causes.  What made you such a devoted crusader for this cause?  When did you hear the calling?
I've always believed that life begins at conception and thus must be protected. The taking of life is not just except under extreme and clear circumstances.

I'm sure you were here around the time when the Atlasian pro-life movement was at it's height with abortion bans in three out of the five regions (Mideast, South, and Northeast), which is quite a remarkable achievement in it's own right in this centre-left country.  Your thoughts on that?  Reminiscences?
I wasn't apart of the game at that time.

In a nation of almost constant movers, who move regions at a whim or the drop of the hat, you've remained true and steady in staying in the Mideast.  I myself have admittedly moved to a different region every six months or so since I first registered as a Midwest citizen in June of 2009.  What motivates you to reside in this region, politics and culture be damned?  Do you consider longevity in a region to be an important character issue when running for office?

Actually I do. Our laws show a balanced compromise between both extremes of limiting and liberalizing such movemen. It should stay as it is.

Which brings me to my next question: throughout history in this country blatant carpetbaggery has been all too common.  Entire waves of political hacks like to storm regions in a bid to, by political force, change regions overnight.  I myself remember when the Northeast was a haven for the libertarian leaning Populares party (of which I was a member of) and the Imperial South was a similarly supremely anti-tax haven (though, the illustrious career of one North Carolina Yankee would disprove whatever trends have occurred down south).  Now, the Northeast is a center of liberal reform and the South has made strong overtures towards Labor.  Current laws dictate that a poster must wait at least six months before moving.  What is your opinion about current movement laws?  Would you do anything different to address this issue?  Does this issue even need to be addressed?

The laws we have are a proper balance. So let stand as it is.

I see that you are running for Senate.  And it seems, if what I read is correct, you've gotten the endorsement of the Liberal Party in your bid.  How does that make you feel?

I've been making inroads with liberals on common intrests. Like the laws cracking down on traffickers. If they have endorsed me I'm greatful. If not I hope they would consider doing so again to contuine that work.

Once more, you've taken a strong stance against what you call "the reliberalization" of abortion laws in your own region and in others.  How do you, in the Senate, plan to combat abortion?

This is a regional matter. I hope the current assembly can bring back the old law. If possible maybe banning abortions after the first trimester with the exceptions of rape and if the mom's life is in danger.

You've also mentioned displeasure with the way your region now elects assembly members.  Where exactly have they gone wrong (I'm incredibly ignorant on Mideast politics) and what is your suggestion for reform?

This issue should've been up to the people. The next time a change in electoral law is debated, the people should be given a direct vote regarding that proposed change.

As I recall, you've been a regular in the Mideast Assembly.  How has your experience in that Assembly affected you?  What do you love best about it?  Your least favorite thing about it?

It was helpful in developing a profile nationally. I wish I could've been more active in the two terms I was part of it.

Gun control is a very contentious issue in this nation.  Candidate Winfield recently came out with a blistering support for stringent control on gun rights.  You yourself have argued for background checks for criminals.  What is your opinion of the gun debate?  Not the issue, but the way this issue is handled in the realm of public policy?

This is indeed a sensative subject. How to properly balance safety and liberty. I'm rather libertarian on the gun issue but have an open mind towards those who think stringent controls should be law. I was shaken like those in the Northeast when Sandy Hook happened. If we had a stronger respect for life things like this would not be as prevalent. Lets have an honest yet civil discussion about this for everyone's sake.

Just what exactly is your approach to environmental issues?

First we need to get away from foreign oil. We have a much better solution under our feet. Natural gas. Its cleaner fuel and the technology for it is here and cheap. We should be good stewards of the land. Yet we can't stifle job growth in the times we are living. Find ways to drill with minimal environmental impact. 

Something that jumped out at me: your campaign recently mentioned something about human trafficking.  What exactly motivated this campaign to make an explicit mention of it?  Do you plan on becoming a leader of this oft ignored crusade for human rights?

Out of my own experience with abuse. Though what I endured is no comparison to the abuse endured by victims of human trafficking. These victims need justice and our government needs to be there for them. Why hasn't the national government taken interest on this issue? This is where both regions and Nyman must work together to help these individuals and bring swift, strong justice to the evil folks trafficking women and kids.

You've mentioned that you want to take a very careful foreign policy that would neither infuriate the pacifists or neoconservatives.  Good man, how in the world do you plan on accomplishing that!?

Have you heard of the Christian Just War Doctrine? A few months ago, my pastor spent a service speaking on this issue. The message is called Reconciling With War. It's on Itunes and my church's website. Also we need to look at the ramifications it places on vets coming home. How can we help them adjust back into civilian life is very important.

What would you say to those who have threatened to leave the Mideast if you're elected?  How does such sentiments make you feel?

Disappointed. One of these individuals is a member of the left that I respect. We all want good governace lets find common ground.

I see you support a "flatter" tax structure.  Might I ask how would you like to see this done?  Aren't you concerned that a flatter tax rate might require raising taxes on the lower classes who can ill afford the taxes they got now?

My structure is a flattened version of the Clinton tax rates. It actually keeps rates rather low for our lower income earners. What is more important is cutting down the debt while letting folks keep as much of their income ws possible. Not stealing from the rich but not disregarding everyone's civil obligations regarding this issue.

You are known as a traditional person.  You have also indicated support for the LGBT Dignity Act.  What portions of it made you favorable towards it?

The fact it honors religious freedom. I believe that each individual should be treated with dignity and respect. I may disagree with the lifestyle, however extremists like Westboro Baptist need to take a few more cues from Jesus. He hung out with those who were looked down upon by the religious and societal elites of his day due to the choices they made. While he did not excuse those choices he loved people in a way that led many to turn from those past sins and to folloe him. Look at John Chapter 8 for further understanding regarding this.

JCL, it was really nice talking to you for this interview.  I wish you the best of luck in this race and in your future endeavors.  Thank you for requesting this interview.

Thank you for taking you time to interview me.

Fellow Atlasians,

Let's have an open, honest and civil discussion on the issues we all face and come together to find solutions that respect both liberty and governance.

[Mechaman]

Scandal, Lies!

This journalist has just gotten word from a source that JCL's statement, both in his campaign thread and in this interview, that he received a Liberal endorsement is inaccurate.  The source was firm in his belief that what JCL has indicated in the campaign thread was a lie and asserts that there are "no" Liberal endorsements whatsoever of JCL.  I have taken the liberty of searching the Atlasian Election thread for Liberal Endorsements and so far my adventure has proven quite unsuccessful at finding endorsement rounds much less Liberal endorsement of candidate JCL.
The People don't like to be made to look like fools, whoever is giving us false information.  We demand an explanation.
Candidate JCL's statement in the interview, however, shall remain uncensored.  As one can quite clearly read, this journalist included "if what I read is correct" right before asking about JCL's Liberal endorsement.  In the event that we have been lied to by JCL I fully intend to keep up evidence of his disgrace for posterity.
Anybody else who wishes to offer a few words or inquiry into this matter may contact the People's Paper with more information.  Thank you for reading dear citizens, and keep an ever more vigilant ear for fabrications wherever they appear.

Mechaman

[Mechaman]

We had abortion bans?

A few years ago (in 2010 I believe) there was a wave of right wing involvement in some regions that led to abortion bans.  I believe those regions (from my old frail memory) were the Northeast, The South, and the Mideast.  I could be mistaken, but I remember it being those three.

[Mechaman]

A quick comment:

Rereading I've realized that JCL said "if they have endorsed me" in the interview.  What I remember him saying as he did get an endorsement was in his "Office" thread which doubles as a campaign center.



It looks like this might've been an accidental controversy because of my lack of reading skills.


EDIT: Well, yes it is.  His Liberal Endorsement came about fourteen days before he announced his Senate campaign.  I therefore, offer a strong apology to my source, for confusing the Mideast Assembly race and the Senate race, and will go into hiding in disgrace until the next interview.

[Mechaman]

An Apology to The People:

As has probably become news across all of Atlasia now, I've admitted to spreading wrongful information due to my own gross negligence of the happenings of the nation I am a journalist in.  I have no excuses, other than my public apathy as voiced in the Marokai interview, to explain how such an oversight happened on my part.  I imagine a few of the people who I've targeted in the past with blithering criticism will take this moment to gloat in victory over what was a blatant error on my part.

TO them I say that to the gallows I will go saying proudly that I am a guilty man.  I screwed up.  I let the cat out of the bag.  You get the picture.
However, I won't go to the gallows until after I finish this round of interviews or the elections happen.  Whichever comes first I guess.

TO JCL I offer my strongest apologies for questioning his nature.  Often times, when the solution is so obvious to us we tend to reach out and find the answer is something that is far from the truth.  Truth is, I have experienced the nature of JCL.  It is a true, honest, and principled character second to none in this country.

To the Liberal Party I offer another round of strong apologies for mistaking their Mideast Assembly endorsement of JCL with a Senate endorsement.  Surely this error is an error that would be expected out of someone with a lot less sleep and a lot less experience than I.  However, it was made and it must be accounted for.

TO my source I apologise for giving you such a cause for concern due to my own lack of attention and comprehension.  I should've noticed that the "endorsement" came two weeks before JCL declared his bid for the Senate seat.

Those who wish to be granted an interview can still do so.

[Mechaman]

To the rest of you waiting for your interviews expect them on Monday.

[Mechaman]

An Interview with Nix
Part I:

Today I have the immense honor of interviewing Nix.  He is known for doing things.  He was in some Assembly I think.  He has some weird left leaning ideology that I can't identify.
Here's the interview, enjoy kids:

So, what're you up to now?:
At the moment I'm focused on fixing the wiki, improving Atlasia's animal protection laws, and researching anti-poverty legislation.

That's great.  So, why are you in politics?  Err, I mean what possible reason do you have for going into this arena and den of seedy individuals who have their faces printed on five dollar bills?
I aspire to be more of a policymaker than a politician, but that's mostly because I'm not very good at politics. I have a lot of respect for politicians. Corruption and egoism aside, they're the true heroes of our Republic.

What is your opinion of the New Jesus Christ Party?
Ill-conceived. I hope that Scott returns to the Liberal fold after this election. They're an important part of our political landscape.

I've lost track of how many people have said "Atlasia is so much better without the two big parties" and that we have a diverse political culture that respects everyone's ideology.  However, over the past year or so or however long everyone FINALLY decided after a couple of years or however long to finally disband both the Jesus Christ Party (JCP) and the Regional Protection Party (RPP).  However, the amount of drama seems to have stayed the same or gotten even worse.  What was once a fight of ideologies has become almost a battle between personalities, often of the same ideology!  And the JCP and the RPP are back in some form or another.  In your opinion, was dissolution really worth it?
Dissolution inspired my first run for office, and I don't think I'm the only person who became more involved in Atlasia because of the shake-up. But dissolution was only a temporary fix. The game requires an ongoing commitment to a dynamic and diverse partisan landscape, and I think that's something that we've successfully cultivated. I've interpreted the interpersonal drama as an unfortunate but inevitable side effect of that dynamism. No one is ever really secure in their power, and it shows.

I just recently interviewed the Marokai/Duke ticket over it's proposal of a "New Direction".  Do you think Atlasia is ready for such radical change?
I'm skeptical of many Marduke game reform proposals, but I don't fault him for having an agenda. Whatever the result, discussing his initiatives will be healthy and energizing for Atlasian politics. As far as I'm concerned, it's really important that the president run on an actual platform - one that he actually acts on if he's elected - instead of relying on his personal connections for votes. That's why I supported Napoleon last June.

Also, while I'm in the subject of recently interviewed subjects, what's your stance on human trafficking?
It needs to stop, my commute is already horrible. I oppose all forms of human exploitation. And I think this goes beyond the obviously horrible; exploitation of various forms is a daily reality for many Atlasians in positions of powerlessness in their workplaces, communities, and homes.

I've repeatedly brought up registration issues in the past.  As you know current laws blah blah blah.  This is a divisive issue given the history of movements in this nation.  What is your opinion of this contentious issue?  Are the laws too lenient or too strict?
About right. I just registered where I live in real life and never gave the issue much thought. I don't really like "strategic registration," but honestly, I only care about one thing: Register in the region where you can have the most fun.

Ah, I see you got the People's endorsement for your re-election race.  Tell me, how confident are you of winning now?
I've been active, communicative, and politically in step with Northeasterners, and I've received endorsements from most of the region's active politicians, so I'm confident that I'll win.

I see that your craplousy opposition has decided to run as a write-in.  Any idea why?
No, not at all, which is unfortunate. I want to win reelection, but I'd have enjoyed a more active campaign.

I had a quick look at the Government forum.  Looks like you are a part of the Reform Oversight Committee or whatever it's called.  How's that working out for you?
Yankee and Oakvale have been fantastic partners. I know that the committee system seems useless to many outsiders, but for someone who knows what he wants to do it's great. If I were to claim a "signature achievement" for my first term, it would be the Game Moderation Amendment that I developed with assistance from three committees and a couple of Cabinet secretaries.

You've recently got praise from across the aisle from Zuwo about sponsoring the "Freedom to Eat!" act.  What exactly did that act seek to accomplish and why is eating such a big deal in Atlasia?
I regard dogs as pets, not livestock. But it is not the business of the state, particularly in a multi-ethnic nation, to tell its citizens what they can and cannot eat on the basis of culture alone, and there's no coherent moral case for banning the production of dog meat but allowing pork or beef. My region alone contains 2 million residents who originate from countries where eating dog meat is not uncommon. Even if only a small portion of them have any desire to indulge, it's a significant number of people. I don't think that they deserve to be stigmatized any more than other non-vegetarians.

I didn't expect our debate on this subject to be so shrill, but since I introduced the Freedom to Eat Act this has essentially become the in-game equivalent of the real-life debate over abortion. I regret that it's distracted from other issues, but on the other hand I'm glad to have introduced something that's stirred so much passion on both sides. On balance, it's good for the game.

A month ago or so, you called out the President to act on several pieces of legislation.  Two of these, in a very rare show of Senatorial procedure, passed unanimously.  Could you give us some insight on your dealings with the President up to and after that time?
For the first two-thirds of his second term, Nappy's only activity on the Fantasy Government board was to occasionally post some curt comment rebuffing the Senate. He didn't bother signing several bills, attempted to take action on several others just after the seven-day window for executive action had elapsed, and vetoed several other non-controversial proposals with little or no explanation (only to be overridden by a unanimous vote of the Senate on multiple occasions). He gave no indication that he was doing anything to manage his Cabinet and refused to dismiss several inactive appointees.

What is your opinion about President Napoleon, Nix?  Be honest.
I've been pretty open about my opinion of him. At his worst, Napoleon acts as a passive-aggressive bully. To an extent, the game needs personalities like his because they're the kind of people who can put together a strong GOTV, recruit new members, and make elections competitive. But giving him a second term was a huge mistake, and sending him back to the Senate would do more harm than good. It's easy to disparage the idea that we should all play nicely, but I think that straightforwardness and respect are really important values. I'm not interested in dealing with people who embody neither when I don't have to.

You've recently pulled a Ron Paul by voting "NAY" on the John Engle Memorial Act.  Sir, why are you a racist?
Snowstalker's a good guy, but I think we're all better off when we keep his, er, colorful sense of humor on a short leash.

I've noticed the Late Term Abortion Act on here.  As some may be aware, there was a debate on the issue of abortions in the last trimester for pregnant women that got mired in controversy over the role of the President to act.  Could you explain, from your view, what exactly happened?  Disregarding your views on the issue, was the outcome correct according to Atlasian law?
I think it was correct to regard to the president's veto as invalid. The dispute was over whether the seven day window for executive action was seven calendar days or seven 24-hour periods. The president argued for the former interpretation; the Senate, backed by several members of his administration, including Vice President Nathan, argued for the latter. It could have made an interesting court case, but for better or worse, it never came to that.

[Mechaman]

Part II
Your opinion on the LGBT Dignity Act seems contradictory.  On the one had, you take the Civil Libertarian stance against bans on "ex-gay" institutions but in the next breath say you support it for it's ban on "reparative therapy".  Can you explain the difference between an "ex-gay" institution and "reparative therapy"?
I refused to support Marokai's original bill, which infringed on the right to free association. The Atlasian government has no legitimate power to ban "ex-gay" organizations. Banning a fraudulent quasi-medical procedure, I think, is a different matter, and one that we're well within our rights to prohibit.

In the past, you've repeatedly touted yourself as a left leaning libertarian.  However, one of the first bills that you voted "AYE" on was the Omnibus Gun Policy & Safety Act, which would included the establishment of a gun registry and an assault weapons ban.  You've also voiced, despite your Nay vote on the "Free Refill Ban", that you would support bills that disincentivize unhealthy behavior.  Isn't this the anti-thesis of "libertarian" or at least MICHAEL BLOOMBERG?
We've established a fairly generous welfare state in Atlasia. As long as public sentiment favors maintaining that welfare state, we must accept that the government has an interest in guiding the choices that affect our personal health. With regard to the gun control, I'm not a zealot; I'm open to a wide variety of policy suggestions. But the status quo isn't acceptable to me, and I haven't heard any convincing proposals from libertarians.

I probably wouldn't refer to myself as a left-libertarian at this point, but I do try to balance my other values with respect for civil liberties. I'm particularly vehement about defending freedom of speech.

From what I read from your Office, the President has recently accused you and Senator Oakvale of vying for a "Senate Power grab" via the "Trial, not Turnout Amendment".  What parts of the Amendment do you think the President was referring to?  What was your purpose in voting for the Amendment?
Senator Oakvale argued that existing law makes impeachment little more than a question of personal popularity and turnout. My support for the amendment was pretty tepid relative to most other Senators - I don't think I even came out in its favor until Marokai offered his compromise proposal, which requires a popular vote on impeachment unless at least eight Senators vote to impeach - so I'm not sure why I was singled for criticism.

In your summary of your vote on "The Freedom to Eat", you note that you wouldn't tolerate abusive treatment of any animal, but especially mammals!  What makes mammals so damn important?
This is a complicated question that I can't answer without getting into a lot of moral philosophy and neuroscience. My reasoning relates to the role of the neocortex, a brain region unique to mammals, in conscious thought.

You've recently praised Federalist Representative Goldwater pretty highly.  What exactly about him impresses you or gains your respect?
Atlasia gets boring when the right wing is totally uninfluential. Goldwater is a Federalist in the mold of Hagrid, Yankee, or Tmth, the kind of people who actually have some effect on policy in Atlasia. I'm not that aware of his recent work, but he impressed me with his willingness to compromise on a bill repealing the Northeast's indoor smoking ban that he introduced when I was governor. After some convincing, he also abstained on a bill that I'd written raising the region's minimum wage and indexing it to inflation. Had he voted against that bill, it may have failed.

You support the passage of the Capital Relocation Act.  What exactly about it's current location don't you like?  Is it just a convenience that the new location would be located in the Northeast?
This proposal would move our regional capital from New York City to Buffalo. We'd save money over the long term by selling high-rent properties in NYC and putting them back on the tax rolls. We'd also take advantage of underused infrastructure in Buffalo and restore what was once one of the region's largest, proudest cities to its former glory. Finally, while I love New York City, its influence over the region is too large. Removing the center of regional government from its borders will do something to mitigate this problem while doing very little to decrease the city's overall significance.

Well, I believe that's all for now.  Any last statements?
If you live in the Northeast Region, I would appreciate your vote next weekend. That is all.

Thanks for your time Senator Nix.

[Mechaman]

Coming Soon!

Interviews with:

Snowstalker
Oakvale
Gass
Tallyrand
Our newest contributor SJoyce!
And yes, we will interview Mr. X at some point.. . . . .

. . ..  and, yes I guess we can interview BenConstine at some point.

[Mechaman]

The Poor Man's Candidate:

Known for his tendency for cheap trolling and his avowedly pro-labor campaigning, Snowstalker is widely known for his passion and his divisiveness.  A member of the Labor Party, Snowstalker and his partymates have taken a hardline leftist stance on economics.  Snowstalker, a vehement critic of the neoliberal tendencies of the Liberal Party, is a stalwart in the fight against monied elitism in politics.  Often, this has won him accusations that he is the candidate of West Virginia or even that he is a racist.  He soldiers on, now running as a Senate candidate for the Midwest, a region known for it's eccentricities.

Are you, or have you ever been, in a homosexual relationship?
Does oakvale count?

Oh this is the training manual for my part time job at the American Red Cross.  Sorry about that. (pulls out other sheet of paper)  Back on track.
You are one of the biggest critics of the Liberal Party and of President Napoleon.  You've run on two tickets against the President, first as the VP on a ticket with Oakvale and then as President in the last election.  In the midst of the President's period of unpopularity a time back, your supporters started branding "Don't Blame Me, I voted for Snowstalker" stickers.  Do you think the rivalry between you and the President was an even bigger one than the old as time rivalry between left and right in this nation?  Why can't you guys just gay sex and make up?

Because Napoleon, as an Eye-Talian, probably has a sh**tload of VD's. Also, as a former ally of him, I feel qualified to say that he's acted like an obstructionist, corrupt bully

You and Andy Griffin are working on something called the "Folk Representer Amendment Amendment".  First off, why did you write "Amendment" twice?  Second, could you please give a non=tl;dr version of it?

Midwest no have assembly. Me want assembly. Me make assembly.

The Midwest Region is known for it's lack of an Assembly.  For years, the region has operated off of an Alping where the people of the region propose and vote on legislation that affects the lives of Midwesterners.  Why, with such a perfect implementation of Democracy, would you want to implement an assembly?

To spur activity. The Pacific was also a dead region until they adopted an assembly, and now they're thriving and growing.

Oh right.  Seems like you want to spur activity.  As low as the population of the Midwest is, surely you can agree with me that what sets it apart isn't quantity of activity, but the quality of it.  And when it comes to quality, the citizens of the Midwest provide the best of entertainment!  How would you seek to increase the activity of this region while also respecting it's unique traditions?
Well, we're keeping all the silly names.

What is it with the obsession with dogs in this nation?
I dunno. I literally have no position on this issue.

So, why is it A-Okay to shoot a caribou with a bow and arrow but not okay to sex it?  I mean really!
Why would you want to bang a caribou? Elk, on the other hand, are unbelievably sexy.

What is the best Nickelodeon show of all time?
Ren and Stimpy obviously.

You made the bold choice of declaring your bid for the Midwest Senate while you were still a Mideast resident.  You say you were "called" to run.  Is Midwest Labor in such a bad shape they go to you?
Loaded question, huh? It's clear that I am the best candidate and they clamored to have me represent their fine region.

You've indicated a little reluctance in endorsing Senator Blue's bid for President.  What issues do you not see eye to eye with him.
I had reluctance at first because his support of reducing the minimum wage. But Marokai is also surpremely qualified to serve as Atlasia's leader, and I am proud to vote for him.

You got a high amount of praise from Senator X on your previous failed Senate campaign.  So, how does it feel to be an active loser?
Better than being an inactive loser.

Do you hope to stop the Loser Train by moving to the Midwest, where the chances of a left wing loony winning increase by an exponential of fourpie?
Yes.

How will you handle losing?
By riding my flying pig through the glacier caves of Hell.

In the first grade you ran for President of the Math Class.  IIRC, you lost by five votes (in a class of six) to the prettiest girl in class.  How did such a tragedy shape your outlook on life?
wait what

You also had a date with the most popular girl in school, who ended up getting knocked up by the high school football captain.  Besides the captain going to jail for bonking a twelve year old, was there any other silver lining in that ordeal?
u wot m8

Could be worse, at least you don't have Cerebral Palsy, Snowloser.
Is this a question?

Is it true that even your sister turned you down for the Homecoming Dance?  Could I have her digits?
No, but her number is--

Hey man, PUT THAT PHONE DOWN!  I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!  All of your past issues aside, could it be that you are just unlucky because you are a member of the Labor Party, a party used to being Lucy McLoosertons?
We're about to get a Labor president, and last I checked we're the second largest party. So Lucy won't be a party member for long.

Look, I mean no offense.  It's just, you guys suck donkey dick at elections!  ANyway, one citizen once voiced his concern about your allegiance to your duty vs. that to the people.  You have made your populist credentials very well known, styling yourself (like Andrew Jackson) as "the People's Senator".  With that said, how do you silence critics who worry that you might ignore Constitutional procedures in certain circumstances (like the impeachment example) due to popular resentment?
Critics? Come at me, bros. But in seriousness, I've worked with posters of other parties numerous times before, and would be happy to work out issues of disagreement.

Say there was a politician who didn't serve the interests of the people but only his own.  Would blatant disregard and abuse of the will of the people qualify for impeachment from office?
Seems a bit vague, but if you mean Napoleon, then yes.

So, do you think of yourself more as a Labor candidate or a People candidate?


What accomplishment of the past 8 months do you look upon highly?  What has disappointed you the most
I was proud that, despite being a washed-up former governor, I placed a surprise second in the October election. On the other hand, I still lost.

Considering your duties if elected to the Senate, what do you intend on doing at that level?  We already know your opinion of regional reforms, but what about national?

I hope to first continue pushing for the Labor Rights Act that I backed in my first term as senator. Then I'll work to stop the evil liberal Nix's gun grab.

Any last words Snowstalker?
THEY MAY TAKE OUR LIVES...BUT THEY'LL NEVER TAKE OUR UNIONS!

Good luck in your race Snowblower, err I mean Snowstalker.

Thank you for the support, God-Emperor of Interviews.