I think there are all sorts of really creepy power dynamics bound up in it
The creation of a power tension between different people in general. I actually have a somewhat more positive attitude towards BDSM because I feel it's more honest about this. There are philosophical reasons for this that might take a little while to explain; some of the reasons are, in my case, religious, but they don't necessarily have to be religious to make sense (since I've elucidated them in my Philosophy Club to not entirely negative or confused response and I'm my Philosophy Club's token religious-in-a-remotely-conventional-way person). So I guess my explanation to you would depend on the extent to which you're interested in my interpretation of what power is and how it works in this case.But isn't the fact that you find these power dynamics to be 'creepy' the heart of your objection? I mean, you may or may not have a point about the dynamics, but your value judgment regarding them is purely arbitrary.
I'm not sure consent is entirely possible on the most basic level, but it is for all practical intents and purposes, so my main concern actually has to do with 'mak[ing] the loved person an Object of appetite' (quoting Immanuel Kant here). Obviously there are ways to ameliorate this. I'm not one of those crazies who insists that anybody who has non-procreative sex is automatically evil. But my understanding of sexuality does come from both a kind of baffled and a kind of unnerved place.
[/quote]
I think you are somewhat mixed up due to the notion of 'love', which should rightly have nothing to do with sex. Think of sex not so much as a highly specific desire for a particular person or objectification of that person, but rather as a casual and anonymous though very necessary and important personal service - like massage, chiropractic, or dentistry.
