Grunge(D) vs Hair Metal(R)

[Mechaman]

Grunge/Grunge

I wouldn't vote hair metal even if Freddie Kruger came to me in my dreams and threatened to rip off my dick with his sharp knife fingers and then eat it in front of me.  Hair metal is a disease that makes AIDs, ebola, and frankly every other goddamn disease that's ever existed look like the Cure for Cancer!  Hair metal is so f***ing disgusting that I wouldn't go near hair metal even if Warren Buffett bribed me with $100 million to listen to it.  I have sworn a compact, before God and all human beings, to kill an innocent baby kitten everytime I hear "Look What the Cat Dragged in" and to commit unspeakable acts whenever "Cherry Pie" is heard somewhere (double points if it's at a skating rink).  Hair metal is just so damn evil, so damn inhuman, so damned HITLERIAN THAT IT SHOULD BE CONSIDERED A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY TO PLAY HAIR METAL, unless it's WASP ("when God spoketh unto real metal to kill hair metal, he allowed WASP to live.", Mecha 4:15).  I mean seriously there should be GENEVA CONVENTION REGULATIONS on this sort of sh*t.  Hair metal is so evil that even Jesus wept when he heard of it.
Grunge however, is doing the Lord's duty.  Grunge rock is like the cure for cancer.  Grunge rock is everything that is right and just about the world.  Grunge rock is like the birth of Jesus........if Mary died in childbirth and everybody cried.  Not out of respect for her memory, but of the great sacrifice she gave to save the world of all our sins.  Seattle, Washington is truly God's chosen place......why else would he inseminate it with Grunge rock!?  Grunge rock is what has ultimately restored my faith in humanity......and maybe even in God.  The Book of Revelations spoke of the day, many thousands of years ago, of when the holy and faithful men of the Grunge would overthrow the evil sinful demons and devils of hair metal.  To not believe in grunge rock is to curse the name of everything that is good that has ever lived.

I would vote Grunge not once, but ten thousand times!  And so would AMERICA!!!!